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Hopefully you’re at the point with a girl where you’re not simply praying she goes out on a second date with you. Your work is still not done, however. Keeping a girl in the mood is a battle as constant as regularly flossing. It’s no chore, however. The more creative you are, the more of a challenge it will be — and the more interesting it will be.
Start Flirting Early
There’s nothing worse than a last minute attempt to jump into a girl’s pants at the end of a date. Anyone worth doing is worth doing right, so put in the time and start early. Flirt with her via text while she’s at work. Keep up the momentum with subtle contact throughout the night, such as slipping your hand into her back pocket as you walk along. Give her a light squeeze and a smile every so often to remind her you want her.
Location, Location, Location
Pimping out your atmosphere is one of the most effective ways to turn her on. It doesn’t have to be as cliché as incense and rose petals on the bedspread, but don’t underestimate the power of a little ‘Fling’ Shui. Try relaxing the setting with something a little more original, such as running through the sexiest selections in your record collection together. Don’t forget the subdued lighting: a soft pink glow hides many a flaw…and inhibition.
Boost Her Self-Confidence
Don’t talk about other girls you think are hot all night, just keep the focus on her, and how much you want her in less than obvious ways. Go gaga over how cute her toes are, or long her neck is. Compliment her intelligence and wit, with subtlety: “You know I don’t think I know one single person who would ‘get’ that joke…” She will gain self-confidence and admire you in return, which will go a long way later when you’re taking her clothes off.
Women generally want a man to take control — just don’t take it too far. You don’t want to get rape-y or forceful, just use your natural advantages to dominate her. When the date is winding down, say as a matter of fact that she’s staying at your place tonight. When she gets all coy and protests, stop her and maintain eye contact until she gives in.
When all else fails, get her buzzed. (Note that this says buzzed and not wasted.) No one wants to wake up with regret in the morning — wondering what the hell you’ve done is a major turn off.
Don't run behind Girls. This is the most basic rule. You will get one when you are worth is. What you can try instead is working on yourself and your communication skills. You need to talk in a way that can evoke emotions in others regardless of the gender.
Be a smart guy. Its very important that you are a person worth talking. You become that when you have things worth talking and by that I mean not bitching about others. You need to find your interests and talk more about various interests. Like have a basic idea of sports, music(no EDM), fashion, movies and sitcoms. It's very important that you have your own views too regarding the feild of interest you are interacting about.
If you do these two things you will become a likeable person and trust me, girls will be around you and it will be on you how to take things forward.
Well, not at a bar or a night club, that is for sure. I find that the Catholic Church is a good place to meet a woman. Depending on age, you can find women of all ages there. My oldest son who is 17 enjoys spending time with his friends in the youth activities there for kids under 20. The young women 20–30, most of whom grew up Catholic are solid people with good morals and often a good job to match. Women 30–40 are usually married, but some who got married too young and had the marriage annulled are just looking for a good person to have a family and enjoy life with. Women 40–50 are either in a long term relationship or got divorced late once the kids were gone and are looking for someone to spend the rest of their lives with. Women 50–60 have seen their spouse die young of a heart attack and have insurance money and lots of time on their hands. Women 60–70 are usually survivors who have outlived their husbands. But, regardless, there are lots of women of all age groups at Church. Our Catholic Church has over 1200 families. About 20%-25% of the membership is single of various ages.
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In the real world.
I know, scary isn’t it? But that’s the only place I know.
Go up to a girl. Become friends. Even best friends. Ask her out, and maybe she’ll say yes.
Do something fun together. Enjoy it. Savor it.
If you two make each other laugh. Happy for each other. Even sad sometimes.
But that’s past the point of the question.
Just give it a shot.
It might just change your life.
You see her and your heart skips a beat. Another beat. And a third one.
She’s the most attractive woman you’ve ever seen. You can’t imagine nor fathom why she’s sitting on the other chair, your eyes locked and your mind gathering a little wool from the sheep of sleep. But you’re there and you’re sitting against a sensual typhoon of desire, sex appeal and what not.
I found myself in this very dilemma, fortunately on my first date. Ever.
The day was 31st March 2018. The time was 6 PM. The place was the last seat on the left of a crowded cafe in Bhubaneshwar, India.
She was the most desirable woman- a dentist who worked with an ad agency. Serene, pristine and entrancingly beautiful.
With the audacity of a hobo on crack, I had asked her out.
“No one has ever asked me out. Let’s date” she had replied. I remember finding the kind of bliss poets yearn to properly describe.
“SHE SAID YESS!”- I jived an awkward solo salsa in the discreteness of a public toilet as I informed my confidable wingman.
Your lizard brain is looking at you, your several reflexes are kicking in, She’s appealing to your sensations, she’s speaking to the woodpecker in the wood (or should I say wood in the woodpecker) and you observe your pupils falling back into the void. But then you look at her and a drench of sweat trickles into your subconscious. She can do better. You can’t. You don’t deserve this. So you clench your toes and clasp your fears. And you don’t make a move.
She’s looking at you like a deer in the headlights. She’s afraid that you will leave when you discover that she’s afraid. She’s used to the lustful or appalled prying gaze of men she’s never known nor heard of. It’s never about her. It’s always about them. In a cruel turn of irony, she’s worn out and afraid of being the diva you think she is. She’s afraid that you’re one of them.
And if you’d know that, you’d still not make a move. You’d feel guilty and leave.
And she’s afraid of that.
What are some tips for dating very attractive women?
I once dated a high-powered model of exceeding beauty for a short time. We had been introduced by some mutual friends and when she said yes I couldn’t believe it. I should have known what I was in for when this happened. In those days I was rather well off, drove a convertible Mercedes top of the line, dressed well, was moving up in my career and so on. There is a great deal to be said to be tooling along in an open top luxury car with an extremely beautiful woman next to you and even more to be said when you are driving slowly down a city street and people stop to stare. The reflected glory I received from her beauty and the gorgeous car made me hard. People were jealous of me for a change, something new in my lifetime. It was a reflection of my own low self-esteem and insecurity. When I walked into clubs or restaurants, on more than one occasion men I had never met would stop me and ask me incredulously, “YOU’RE going out with HER???”. It didn’t occur to me until later what a veiled insult it was - they were essentially saying, how does a scrub like you get with something like that? And of course there were many sexual innuendoes, sardonic grins, raised eyebrows - all insinuations of what a lucky guy I was to be getting a “piece of that”, as was said to me from time to time.
The fact of the matter is that as a girlfriend she was no better than any other I had in the past and often much worse. Because she was a beauty and knew it, she was entitled, selfish, demanding, obstinate, fickle and unpleasant much of the time. She knew that she could jettison me at any time and replace me with any number of men she met anywhere. Intimacy was not really possible with her because she didn’t want it. She was lonely, angry and bewildered. When you replace your boyfriends as often as you replace your clothes because of some tiny slight, real or imagined, then you can never achieve the intimacy you crave and need to form real happiness. You are always casting about for someone better, someone “perfect” and there are no perfect people and no perfect situations, ever. You have to make accommodations for people’s flaws if their strengths and values meet with yours. Hers didn’t meet with mine and to the amazement of many, I dumped her. I dumped the gorgeous super-model. She was pretty as hell, but she was a lousy human being.
Now there are plenty of men out there who will say when you date a beautiful woman you have to treat them like shit. Women, especially beautiful women, are vain about their looks and insecure about its staying power. Men are always falling at their feet and they suffer the tragedy of beauty - does he love ME or just how I look? If my looks fade, will his love go too? So when a man comes by who treats them poorly they see this as honesty instead. He seems immune to my looks - he must like ME. And they succumb. But like beauty this act is an illusion. Treating a woman poorly doesn’t mean you are immune to her looks and it doesn’t mean you are honest. At best it means you’re an asshole. At worst it means you’re a misogynist and a user.
Beauty is an illusion. Yes it is nice to be beautiful and it has many advantages but it is nevertheless an illusion that covers up your real virtues or real sins. It forces people to work harder to look deeper to see what kind of person you are inside and there are plenty who are willing to take what you are at face value because it’s pretty and not look any deeper.
I know this is long and boring but my tips for dealing with beautiful women are the same as dealing with “average” or “un-beautiful” women:
1) Stand up straight and value yourself - no matter how good she is, remember that you are equally as good. You are not better than she is, but she is not better than you are either
2) Look her in the eye with a small smile. Be steady Don’t fawn. Look her in the eye and don’t look away. This is CONFIDENCE and confidence wins battles and wars and it wins women.
3) Say hello to her as you would to any person you meet. Dont fawn.
4) Look her in the eye and ask her for a date. If she says no, that means no for today only. You can ask her again tomorrow. You can keep doing this as long as you are confident and calm and not an aggressive asshole and you shouldn’t do it if she is in a relationship with another man. That just makes you a housewrecker.
5) Always stand up straight when you are with her. Make everyone accept that you are her equal.
6) As with any woman, treat her with courtesy and respect. Make sure she is comfortable and secure.
7) Work towards building intimacy, not sex. Sex is nothing. Intimacy is everything. If you can get her to open her heart, getting her to open her legs will be an anticlimax.
8) Earn her trust. Be consistent, Show integrity. Treat all people well and with honesty. Don’t brag to make yourself “worthy” of her. Let her know where you are weak as well as strong. Women value honesty among all things and beautiful women are constantly plied with lies and lines. Be consistently honest and she will let down her guard and let you into her heart more and more. This is called “earning trust” and it comes from acting with integrity.
9) Seek to learn what her character is. Watch how she treats others, her values, her honesty, her dreams. What is she seeking? Can you provide it? Would you want to if she wasn’t beautiful? What are you rationally willing to sacrifice to be with her, because being with anyone requires compromise and sacrifice. Do you want to give up more just because she is beautiful?
10) Remember that even if you win and gain her as a lover that you will get used to her beauty eventually. The old adage “No matter how pretty she is, some guy is tired of putting up with her shit.” is true. If she is pretty but has no character or values then you will soon tire of her and resent her - and that is not her fault: it’s yours for being willing to settle for looks.
11) Remember the story where a beautiful gold digger seeks to find a rich man to marry. He tells her he never would because it’s foolish to purchase a depreciating asset when it’s easier to lease a new one regularly on the side. If you aren’t in it for love but for beauty remember that the beauty is going to fade. In old New England there was a poem: “You say for me your feelings grow quite strong. Pray you love me little, but that you love me long”. Make sure that she has the qualities that will enhance your life over the long run. You will get used to her beauty. If that is all you want you will be sorely disappointed in the long run as it fades. Sorely disappointed. And you will have stolen time from her and yourself, time you both could have spent seeking real love and real values.
12) If you do develop real love, real feelings, real trust and the real thing, gained through trust and intimacy, keep in mind that no matter how solid your relationship, other men will seek to break it out of jealousy or desire. As the song says, “What they do - is smile in your face, all the time they want to take your place - the back stabbbers. Back stabbers!” You will have to keep aware of this, of people, even “friends” who try to insert doubt and negativity. You must keep communication with your lover open, free, honest and fearless. If you cannot, then it’s always possible for an interloper to introduce the seeds of doubt that could be your downfall.
13) Whatever you do DO NOT BECOME JEALOUS. Jealousy is an outward sign of insecurity. It comes about because she has not earned your trust enough for you to believe in her. If you can’t do that, then you have to work on it til you do. If you still can’t then you are too damaged to be with someone like that. Jealousy is tedious and unfair to the other person. YOU DO NOT OWN HER. She is going to make choices for herself. Your job is to make the relationship strong enough that her choices are the best for both of you. If she’s going to cheat, your jealousy isn’t going to stop her. Remember - you should be examining her values long before you get to this stage. If you find you cannot trust her, jealousy is not the answer. Dumping her is. Then seek someone you can trust.
14) I often think of the words of this song:
“If you want to be happy for the rest of your life
never make a pretty woman your wife.
This is my personal point of view:
Get an ugly woman to marry you.”
Now is this true? Nothing is hard and fast true but there is enough wisdom in it for it to be considered for a second. Being with a beautiful woman requires that you be on your toes for awhile and remember - every woman is “beautiful” to some man somewhere. That’s why beauty is an illusion. You have to see beyond the illusion and treat them as people, as you want to be treated, earning their trust, discovering their values and learning if you want to be with them and spending the time to convince them to be with you. It’s not about the beauty. It’s about the values. Beauty is an illusion.
“Hey! I’m Ankit! You look like a celebrity”
“Thank you. You look so young. How old are you?”
“Please take a seat. I’ll order something for us. You know I’m 20. Right?”
The third best advice my wingman gave me was- give her some context. It is easy to like a sexy stunner but do you know if she’s an empath or a socialist or a cat right activist? You will eventually leave a dumb doll to its own peril. Monroe, Cleopatra, and Helen of Troy were also the smartest women. The ones who drooled on the premise of their seductive power basked in several blisters.
People are more complicated than the masks they wear, the clothes they show and the looks they have.
Desire is both imitative (we like what others like) and competitive (we want to take away from others what they have). As children, we wanted to monopolize the attention of a parent, to draw it away from other siblings. This sense of rivalry... makes people compete for their attention.”
A man grows bored with a woman, no matter how beautiful; he yearns for different pleasures, and for adventure
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