Because of God, I see.
Ellaine Velasco
Psalms 36:9
"You are the source of all life, and because of your light we see the light."
Background:
Hello :) I'm Shepherdess Rebekah, my friends call me “Mao”, but I am known as Ellaine Marie Velasco. I'm a Bicolana. I'm the second child and the only girl among the four siblings. My friends here in Rizal do not know that I came from a religious family, but in contrast to a typical religious family, mine is not what you called fruitful, loving and understanding. My brothers and I were raised by my grandparents who happened to be my mother's parents. I used to isolate myself from other people because before I thought that it was more fan being alone. During my childhood life I was never been contented at our house because I never thought of that place as a home but I couldn't go out because my father always confined me there that’s why I formed my hobby of cleaning and arranging everything that pleases me which I think made me an OC-person-look-alike from other peoples' eyes. Having "kuya" that is so irresponsible, the task and the responsibility of the first child was given to me, which worries me every time because I have to be tough in front of my brothers for them to obey me and I have to be tough for my mom for her not to worry about us while she's in abroad, working. They say that I am a very dependable daughter but, what other people do not know is that I have a frightened heart. Inside me, hides a child that is very fragile not because of the body structure I possess, but because I am afraid to get hurt. The inside of me doesn't want to experience the same pain my mother experienced and still experiencing in her relationship with my father. Because of that, I planted a grudge for my father and wished that in the future when I have my own family, I want it to become the opposite of the one my father given us.
Major Spiritual Influence: Dr. John Talavera and IGNITE Family
It was last year when my curiosity and by some persuasion of some IGNITE friends when I ended up going to one of the IGNITE bible study. At first I couldn’t explain the atmosphere inside that room and the way I felt that very moment, but every minute of being there made my feelings lighter and gave me peace and contentment I was looking for a long time of being imprisoned by my thoughts about how unfair the world to us. I've never met a person before especially a doctor that would sacrifice his doctorate practices to become a professor not only to teach about the curriculum but most importantly to teach the words of God. He always tells us how good God is, and I was inspired by how the lives of my friends changed because they found God. Then it was last Wednesday (June 27) when I finally understand the atmosphere when I first stepped on the room of IGNITE. I found out that it was joy, the joy of the hearts of the people listening to the words of God and the joy of being used by God to deliver His words to other people. It's something that I will never find to other place and something money couldn't buy. My heart is overwhelmed because I met a family that is open and able to understand my thoughts. Going back to God again changed my way of thinking and giving forgiveness is not as hard as before. Now I’m enjoying my new life as a Christian. I can say that I found my home in God and this family He used for me to see Him again.
Dreams/ Goals in Following Christ
I want to have a confident heart not to boast but to humble others by being a good shepherdess and a good follower of God. I also want a heart that is not frightened by anything or anyone but God. I want to have an open heart and mind that is ready to accept God to become my guide and light in everything that I will be doing in this life that He granted me.