Grace
Bebs Ocampo
I would love to say
I’ve entrusted life to you
I would love to do
Things you want me to
I would love to smile
though everything is blue
but I don’t know how
Haven’t got a clue
I want to lay down
and in surrender pray
I want to make rhymes
and in awe to you say
That I am thankful
for the night and day
You've let me wander
walk and lose my way
Prune me. Teach me
Mold this dirty clay
Appreciate
You paid the price
I cannot pay
I've long been searching
for the right words to say
but I couldn't start
I know I'm not okay
Words are not enough
but I'm writing anyway
Lord change my heart
too long I've been away
The blood on Your face
You endured suffering
You paid the price
Though I’m not worth dying
Thank You dear Father
Please here me saying
That I am thankful
for the night and day
You've let me wander
walk and lose my way
Prune me. Teach me
Mold this dirty clay
Appreciate
You paid the price
I should have but
I cannot pay
I would love to say
I’ve entrusted life to You
Teach me day by day
Lord all I need is You.
I’ve been searching for the right words to perfectly describe everything I feel right now but I don’t know how to start. I guess it’s because God’s love and work in every individual is beyond every feeling the heart can feel. It’s just something unexplainable.
Indeed, I would love to say that I have fully given and surrendered my life to God. I would love to obey and walk on every path He wants me to go to. I would love to have that joy that no failure or loss can take away. But self preservation is like a reflex that no matter how I try to give everything to Him, my inner selfish self would immediately take it back. I’ve been wanting to just lay down everything, make more rhymes and be thankful for every laughter, for every tears, for every success, for every wound. But I just couldn’t. Just a little wave from Him would already trigger rebellion. I am one proud and selfish child indeed. I feel ashamed to always say I am God’s daughter and yet forget when earthquakes start to shake my self-made “strong” ground. But I guess that’s how the GRACE of God works. That despite us being unwilling to accept Him, HE was, is and will always be willing to love us.
If there is one thing I have learned ever since God and I had this personal relationship, I would say that God is unfair. Don’t get me wrong. Fair means free from favoritism. And by unfair means the exact opposite. God has given so much favor to us. We deserve to rot in hell. That’s what the law says. The wage of sin is death. But God favors and loves us so much that He has to send Jesus Christ. Allow Him to die in our place. JESUS PAID THE PRICE WE SHOULD HAVE BUT CANNOT PAY. I don’t know if “unfair” is the right way to describe what God has done for us. The only thing I know is that we are loved by God. We have received so much grace. And whenever we feel unthankful again, lost, or whenever we feel like rebelling, let’s look at the cross. It would lead us back to God’s full and tight embrace.
Life is many repeated surrenders to God. We’re humans. I keep on telling myself that we are sinful but we have Jesus Christ who paid all our past, present and future sins. We have a God who’s willing to patiently prune us, teach us and mold us. We are a work in progress. We are being sanctified. I know all of these are easier said than done but I strongly believe that God is working. And so no matter how deep we fall, no matter how much pain we might feel, His grace will always be enough.
Keyverse:
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
John 3:16
Ben Toh
Thanks so much for sharing. I guess I didn't know that you are poetic! It's always so lovely to hear from you and to hear about the grace of God expressed in words and prose.
I always remember your steadfastness and faithfulness. Do keep the poetry, the melody, the music and grace of God flowing.
Grace and peace to you.
Ben