Sheva Berachot
Rabbi Aryeh Citron
Parsha Halacha
Sponsored by the Btesh Family in the merit of a speedy Refuah Sheleimah for Karen bat Malka and Devora bat Malka
Parshat Vayetzeh
The Sheva Berachot Feasts
In this week’s Torah portion, we read about the seven day celebration that Yakov had after he married Leah. As the verse says מַלֵּא שְׁבֻעַ זֹאת וְנִתְּנָה לְךָ גַּם אֶת זֹאת - Complete the [wedding] week of this one, and we will give you this one as well.[1] Rashi interprets this to mean that Laban told Yakov that before he may marry Rachel, he must complete the week long celebrations for having married Leah (although he had been tricked into doing so.) He did not want him to marry Rachel during the week of Leah’s celebrations in order not to dampen those celebrations.[2]
We can infer from this that during the era of the Patriarchs it was customary to celebrate for seven days after getting married. This custom became law when Moshe Rabeinu (Moses) established that one should celebrate the shivat yemei hamishteh – the seven days of feasting, after getting married.[3]
This article will discuss several laws and customs relating to these feasts.
How Many Feasts?
It is obligatory to celebrate with (at least) one feast after getting married.[4] This is referred to as the se’udat nissu’in – the wedding feast. The additional feasts during the following days are optional.[5]
How Many Days?
Following a wedding in which either the chattan or kallah (bride or groom) got married for the first time they should celebrate for seven days. Certainly if it is the first time for both of them, these days are celebrated.[6] During these days, the chatan and kallah may not work,[7] and should spend time celebrating together. The feasts made in their honor may culminate in the recitation of the sheva berachot (see below).
If both the chattan and kallah were previously married (and are now getting remarried after death or divorce), only one feast (i.e. the wedding feast) is celebrated,[8] although the chattan and kallah should celebrate their wedding for three days.[9]
These days begin from the chuppah. E.g., if the chuppah (wedding canopy and the wedding ceremony) took place before sundown on Monday, that day is the first of the seven days. The last of the seven days would therefore be Sunday. If the chupah took place after nightfall on Monday evening, then Tuesday would be considered the first of these days and the following Monday would be the seventh day.[10]
The Feasts
If a feast was made in honor of the chattan and kallah there are seven blessings recited after the grace after meals which discuss various themes relating to weddings and marriages. These are referred to as sheva berachot (seven blessings). In order to be able to recite these blessing the following conditions must be met;
· The meal should an important one. A picnic in the park or a meal eaten while in transit does not warrant these blessings.[11]
· Ten Jewish men above the age of Bar Mitzvah must be present. These form a Minyan (quorum) which is necessary for these blessings.[12] The accepted custom is that seven of the men should have eaten bread while for the remaining three, it is sufficient to eat any food.[13]
· The meal must be in honor of the chattan and kallah. If the meal was arranged for a different reason, the blessings are not recited even if the chattan and kallah are present.[14]
· Some say that these blessings are only recited if the meal is in the house of the chattan and kallah.[15] This is the prevalent Sefardic custom.[16] The Ashkenazic custom is to say the blessings even if the feast is held in a different home.[17]
· There must be a person present at the feast who was not present at the wedding or at any of the previous wedding feasts. This person is referred to as the Panim Chadashot (lit. the new face).[18]
o The new person should be a man over the age of Bar Mitzvah.[19]
o He must be present during the recitation of the brachot, but according to most opinions, he need not actually eat from the meal.[20]
o A new person is not needed in order to recite these blessings during the first two meals of Shabbat or Yom Tov. The same applies to the third meal of Shabbat if a Devar Torah (Torah thought) is recited.[21]
· If the meal is taking place on the seventh day, the blessings must be recited before sunset.[22]
The Recitation
· The blessings are recited after the Grace after Meals over a separate cup of wine.[23]
· The blessings may be recited by one person or may be divided up and recited by different people.[24] In any event, the chattan should not be honored to recite any of the blessings.
· It is obligatory on all those who participated in the feast to hear these blessings.
· If one participated in the meal but had to leave early, he may do so. If possible, he should arrange a zimun (mini quorum for the Grace after Meals) when doing so.[25]
The Drinking
Following all of the blessings, the one who led the Grace after Meals should recite the blessing of HaGafen and drink from the cup of wine over which he recited the Grace. The contents of the two cups should then be mixed. The cups are given to the chattan and kallah respectively. If there was any interruption since the blessing over the wine, they should recite that blessing again before drinking. In addition, as this wine was used for a blessing, it is a mitzvah for others to drink from it as well.[26]
May we soon merit the completion of the marriage between G-d and the Jewish people with the coming of Moshiach, Amen!
[1] Gen. 29, 27
[2] This is similar to the Talmudic dictum of Ein Me’arvin Simcha BeSimcha – one may not mix one joyous occasion with another. This is why one may not get married on Chol HaMo’ed. See Mo’ed Kattan 9a, based on Kings One, 8, 65, and Jerusalem Talmud Mo’ed Kattan, 1, 7.
See also Ramban who understands the word שְׁבֻעַ to mean seven year period. According to one of his interpretations, Lavan was (falsely) claiming that Yakov had not yet completed the first seven years of working, and that he would have to do so before he could marry Rachel.
[3] Jerusalem Talmud, Ketubot, 1, 1
[4] See Ketubot 5a and Responsa of Maharam Shik, 89
[5] Rav Pa’alim, 4, 6
But see there that some have a custom to have a feast on every one of these days.
[6] Even Ha’Ezer, 62, 6
[7] Ibid, 64, 1
[8] Ibid
[9] Ibid, 64, 2
[10] See Hanisu’in Kehilchata, 14, 3 - 13
[11] Sova Semachot 1, note 48
[12] Even Ha’Ezer, 62, 4
[13] Sova Semachot 1, note 26
[14] See Hanisu’in Kehilchata, 14, 23 and the sources quoted there
[15] Even Ha’Ezer, 62, 10
[16] See sources quoted in Hanisu’in Kehilchata, 14, note 43
[17] Taz, 7 on Even Ha’Ezer, ibid
[18] Even Ha’Ezer, 62, 7
[19] Pit’chei Teshuvah on ibid, 14
[20] See Rama Even Ha’Ezer, ibid, 7
[21] Ibid, 8
[22] As the Jewish day begins at night, once evening begins, it is no longer the seventh day of the feasting, but rather the eighth day (see Hanisu’in Kehilchata, ibid, note 23)
[23] Even Ha’Ezer, ibid, 9. Although the Mechaber rules according to the Rambam that the blessings are recited on the same cup of wine as the Grace after Meals, the prevalent Sefardic custom is to use two cups of wine (Hanisu’in Kehilchata, ibid, note 212).
[24] See Yabi’a Omer, 5, Even Ha’Ezer 12. But see Har Tzvi, O.C. 1, 44 who holds that only one person should recite all the blessings.
[25] Sha’arei Halacha UMinhag, 4 page 125
[26] See Hanisu’in Kehilchata, ibid, 102- 106