Women's Rights

[Rabbi Aryeh Citron]

Parsha Halacha on Parshat Pinchas

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Women’s Rights

In Parshat Pinchas we read how the righteous daughters of Tzelafchad requested and received their father’s portion in the land of Israel.^[1] According to the Talmud^[2],

 these five women were:

·         Clever

o   For this reason they waited until Moshe was teaching the laws of the Levirate marriage. At that time they asked for their inheritance. They said: Either we should be able to inherit our father’s property, or our mother should be able to marry one of our uncles so that their children can inherit the estate.

o   In addition, they waited with their request until the Jewish people were about to enter the land. This despite the fact that their father had passed away many years earlier.^[3] They realized that if their question was only a theoretical one, Moshe might not address it.

·         Wise in Torah knowledge

o   They knew that if their father had born a son, he (or his heirs) would inherit the estate completely.^[4]

·         Righteous

o   They delayed getting married until they found suitable husbands. As a result, none of them married before turning forty. Despite the fact that it is unusual for women of that age to have children for the first time, a miracle happened and they all had children.

In addition, they were:

·         Modest

o   For this reason they presented their case to their own tribal leaders first. When the leaders did not know the ruling, they went to the higher court and so on, until they came to Moshe and all of Israel.^[5]

o   Perhaps the reason they stood at the entrance of the tent[6] was also a sign of their modesty.[7]

·         Loving of the Land Of Israel

When requesting a portion in the land, they specifically asked that they receive a portion within the land itself, not on the “other side” of the Jordan River where half of their tribe received their inheritance. ^[8]

The love of the daughters of Tzelofchad for the Land of Israel was a trait that they inherited from their great-great-grandfather Yosef HaTzadik who insisted that his body be brought to the Holy Land for burial.^[9]

Loving the Land

This love was a common trait amongst the Jewish women of that time. Throughout their stay in the desert, the Jewish women never demanded to return to Egypt, as the men did on many occasions.^[10] Nor did they accept the negative reports of the spies. 

The reason the men and women of that time had such divergent attitudes towards the land is because of two differences in their characters.

·         The men of that time tended towards licentious behavior (see Numbers, 25, 1 -9 and Rashi on Numbers, 11 ,10), whereas the women were modest and pure (see Rashi on Levit. 24, 11).^[11] In order to live in the land of Israel, one must behave in a moral manner. Those who engaged in perverse behaviors were “spat out” of the land.^[12] Thus, the men were hesitant to enter the land, but the women were happy to do so.

·         The men of that time were stingy and did not want to tithe their produce for the benefit of the Kohanim and Leviyim. As these Mitzvot only apply in the land of Israel, they preferred to return to Egypt.  The women, on the other hand, were generous and looked forward to the opportunity to separate Challah and the other tithes.

·         Because of the positive qualities of these women, the Talmud says: “In the merit of the righteous women of that generation, our forefathers were redeemed from Egypt.”^[13]

·         In addition, the women of that time were not included in the decree that the generation that left Egypt had to die in the desert. This is alluded to in the verse: “Among these, there was no man who had been [included] in the census of Moses and Aaron when they counted the children of Israel in the Sinai desert.  For the L-rd had said to them, ‘They shall surely die in the desert,’ and no one was left of them but Kalev the son of Yefuneh and Yehoshu’ah  the son of Nun,”^[14] i.e., amongst the men there was (almost) no one left, but amongst the women there were many that were still alive.^[15]

The remainder of this article will focus on women’s rights according to the Torah.

Rights in Marriage

• Husband’s obligations

When a man marries a woman he becomes obligated to provide her with ten things:^[16]

• Food
• Clothing^[17]
• Intimacy
• A Ketubah (This is a financial arrangement to help her in case of death or divorce.)^[18]
• To pay her medical expenses should she become sick
• To redeem her should she be captured
• To make her burial arrangements
• His estate must support her if she is widowed.
• Her daughters are supported by the estate until they get married.
• Her sons inherit her Ketubah in addition to their regular share in the inheritance. This is relevant if their father had additional children from another wife.

In addition, if they can afford it, the husband must hire help in order to help with the household duties.^[19]

Choice in Marriage

One cannot force a woman to marry against her will.^[20] In ancient times, a father could arrange a marriage for his minor daughter even without her consent.^[21] The sages,

 however, were not pleased with this practice. They advised fathers to wait until their daughters were grown up so that they could decide whom to marry. Similarly, they advised (future) husbands to marry women who had come of age.^[22] 

Polygamy

By Torah law, a man is permitted to marry more than one wife.^[23] He may only do so if he can keep all of the marital obligations to all of his wives (see above).^[24]  With

 the exception of Jewish kings, historically, this was not a common practice (see below). This may have been due to financial reasons or in order for people to maintain peace in their home. This concept is expressed in the book of Ruth. When the (unnamed) relative of Elimelech refuses to marry Ruth, he says that he does not want to do so “lest he destroy his inheritance.”^[25] The commentaries explain that he didn’t wish to ruin his relationship with his wife by marrying a second wife.^[26] Boaz, on the other hand, was able to marry Ruth since his wife had passed away on the day that Ruth arrived in the land of Israel.^[27]

Cases of Polygamy

There are very few recorded cases of polygamy amongst the Jewish people.^[28] Even when it did occur there was usually a specific reason for it. Several examples:

• Avraham^[29] (He did so in order to be able to have children.)
• Yaakov (He did so after being tricked into marrying Leah and in order to aid his wives in having children.^[30])
• Kalev^[31] (Perhaps he took a second wife because his wife Miriam was ill.^[32])
• Gideon^[33] (This seems to have been common amongst the leaders in the time of the Judges.^[34])
• Elkanah,^[35] father of Samuel the Prophet (He may have done so because the wife that he loved, Chana, was barren.)
• Many of the kings of Judah and Israel had more than one wife, e.g., King David had 18^[36], King Solomon had 1000,^[37] Yehoram had several wives,^[38] and Yoash had two.^[39]

 

It is clear from the Talmud that the rabbis did not view polygamy in a positive fashion.^[40] In fact, it has been said that we do not find that any of the Talmudic sages had more than one wife.^[41]

Rabbeinu Gershom’s Ban

In the 11^th century, Rabbeinu Gershon, known as Me’or HaGolah (Light of the Exile) enacted a ban which forbade men from marrying more than one wife.^[42] This ban was

 accepted in the entire Ashkenazi world and in some Sefardic communities though not in all of them. The ban applies everywhere unless one knows that it was not accepted in their community.^[43] Some say that the ban expired in the year 1240 but that the communities that accepted the ban continue to uphold it. As a result, the ban is still considered to be in effect.^[44]

The only exception to the ban is if one’s wife becomes deranged (and can therefore not be divorced) or if the husband wishes to get divorced and his wife refuses to accept the get. This can only be done with the permission of 100 rabbis from three separate countries who ascertain that there are valid grounds to permit this.^[45]

The Status of Women

It is possible that the reason women have a higher social status today than ever before is that we are experiencing a glimmer of the Messianic Era at which time the level of the female will be elevated to a level greater than that of a male. This is alluded to in the verses:  “A woman of valor is the crown of her husband,”[46] and “the woman will encircle the man”.[47]

 

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[1] Numbers 27, 1 - 7

[2] Bava Batra 119b

[3] Tzelofchad was either stoned for desecrating the second Shabbat after the giving of the Torah or killed in battle with the Emorites one year later (see Rashi on Numbers, 27, 3). This was either 39 or 40 years before they asked for his inheritance.

[4] As they said: “Our father died… and he had no sons” (Numbers, ibid).

[5] Ohr HaChaim on Numbers, 2, 1. According to a different opinion (see Bava Batra 119b), they approached Moshe when he was with all of the other leaders and presented the question to them all. They did this in order that the decision rendered would be heard by all of Israel, and no one would be able to question it. In addition, it is possible that they wanted their question to be answered by none other than G-d Himself, and they knew that Moshe was the only one who could ask Him (Ohr HaChaim on ibid, 2).

They wanted their question to be answered by G-d himself because they reasoned: “G-d is not like human beings. (The way) of human beings (is to) have more mercy on men than on women. G-d, however, has mercy on all (equally). As the verse says: ‘And His mercy is on all flesh’ (Psalms 145, 9) (Sifri).

[6] Numbers 27, 2

[7] See Abarbarnel on Kings 2, 4, 15

[8] See Joshua, 17, 3 – 6

[9] Rashi on Numbers 27, 1 See Gen. 50, 25

[10] See Ex. 14, 11, ibid, 16, 3, Numbers 14, 4, Rashi on Deut. 10, 6

[11] For this reason, when testifying as to the integrity of the Jewish people by affixing the name of G-d to the names of their families (see Rashi on Numbers, 26, 5), the latter hei (representing the woman) is placed at the beginning of every family, and the letter yud (representing the man) is placed after the family name. The fact that the hei (representing the woman) precedes the name of each family teaches us that the main factor in their familial integrity was the women.

[12] Levit. 18, 28

[13] Sotah 11b

[14] Numbers 26, 64 and 65

[15] Kli Yakar on Numbers 26, 64

[16] Rambam, Hilchot Ishut, 12, 2

[17] Although the sages gave guidelines for how much food and clothing must be provided, these amounts are only for a poor family. A person of means must provide for his wife according to his means (ibid, 11 and 13, 5).

[18] See http://www.yeshivahcollege.org/parsha.php?reg=21 as to the actual value of a Ketubah.

[19] Ibid, 21, 6

[20] Ibid, 4, 1

[21] Ibid, 3, 11

[22] Ibid, 3, 19

[23] Even Ha’Ezer, 1, 9

[24] Rava in Yevamot 65a

[25] Ruth, 4, 6

[26] See Targum and Ibn Ezra on the verse

[27] Bava Batra 91a

[28] In several of the cases listed, the second wife was a pilegesh (concubine) i.e., a legally wedded wife who has fewer rights than a regular wife (Rashi on Gen, 25, 6).

[29] Gen. 16, 2 and 3

[30] Ibid, 29, 23- 28 and 30 , 4 and 9

[31] Chronicles 1, 2,46 and 48

[32] See Sotah 12a

[33] Judges 8, 30

[34] See ibid, 12, 9 and 13

[35] Samuel 1, 1, 2

[36] Samuel 2, 5, 13, see Sanhedrin 21a

[37] Kings 1, 11, 3

[38] Chronicles 2, 14

[39] Ibid, 24, 3

[40] Ketubot 62b

[41] See Talmud Yerushalmy, Yevamot 1, 1 that Rabbi Yossi ben Chalaftah performed Yibbum (the Levirate marriage). According to the Penei Moshe (on ibid), he did so with five of his sisters-in-law. But see there that he did not continue to live with them as man and wife.

See also Yevamot 37b that Rav Nachman and Rav would marry additional wives when traveling. These marriages, however, were temporary and according to some opinions, were never consummated.

[42] Even Ha’Ezer, 1, 10

[43] Darkie Moshe E.H. 1, 11

[44] Pitchai Teshuvah 19, on ibid

[45] Ibid

[46] Proverbs, 12, 4

[47] Jeremiah, 31, 21