Naughty Doses of Laughter

[M S Sabarwal]

A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean and serve the venison for supper. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won't eat it if they know what it is - so he does not tell them.   His little boy keeps asking him, "What's for supper?" "You'll see", says his dad.   They start eating supper and his daughter keeps asking what they're eating. "Ok," says her dad, "here's a hint, its what your mother sometimes calls me."   "We're eating asshole!!", she screams. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------   A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?" She says, "What's that?" He says, "We go to my house and Fuck, and then you disappear." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------   A deep-sea diver is twenty feet below sea level when he sees another guy with no scuba gear. He goes down another thirty feet, and the guy with no equipment stays with him.   He takes out a waterproof chalkboard and writes, "How the hell can you stay down this deep without equipment?"   The guy takes the chalkboard and writes, "You asshole, I'm drowning."   --------------------------------------------------------------------------------   "I've got some good news and some bad news" the doctor says.   "What's the bad news?" asks the patient. "The bad news is that unfortunately you've only got 3 months to live".   The patient is taken back, "What's the good news then Doctor?". The doctor points over to the secretary at the front desk, "You see that blonde with the big breasts, tight ass and legs that go all the way up to heaven?", the patient shakes his head and the doctor replies, "I'm fucking her." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Your girlfriend is ugly when...   (1) She looks out the window and gets arrested for indecent exposure.    (2) As a baby, she had to be breast-fed by the family dog.    (3) Even mosquitoes stay away from her.    (4) She startles the animals at the zoo.    (5) On Halloween, she has to trick or treat over the phone.    (6) She makes onions cry.    (7) Her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a box of milk duds.    (8) Her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock.    (9) The plastic surgeon wanted to add a tail.    (10) When she was born, the doctor slapped her mother.

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