Should vegetarians serve meat to guests?
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Monica/SongYi Lee
Aug 9, 2010, 8:48:15 PM8/9/10
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John Hovell
Aug 9, 2010, 9:58:40 PM8/9/10
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On Mon, Aug 9, 2010 at 5:48 PM, Monica/SongYi Lee <song...@gmail.com> wrote:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/08/fashion/08vegan.html#Chelsea did. What do you guys think?
I guess it depends a lot on why you are vegetarian / vegan / Jain / orthodox, etc etc. If you're doing it for your health or because you don't like how meat tastes, then who cares. If you make the decision on moral, political or environmental grounds, then it seems like it might be a much more difficult decision to make.
For me, I think a large part of me being vegetarian - perhaps the only good thing to come about over making a stink in public about food you refuse to eat - is that it gives you an opportunity to demonstrate that it's not so hard and can yield interesting and nutritious food choices. As a dietary restriction that I believe promotes better environmental health and treatment of animals, I think it's an idea worth spreading, and I feel often without a soapbox or podium. A wedding seems like a great opportunity to demonstrate what you believe. Sure, it might be uncomfortable and unpopular, but standing up for your beliefs often is. Jonathan Safran Foer's book Eating Animals explores this topic in some depth... definitely a recommended read and I have a copy I can loan out.
It's weird this is an interesting topic to consider - weddings, to me, seem to be a special case of a larger more general question which is whether guests should feel obligated to set aside personal moral decisions for their guests. I think that in general the answer to this is no. If I go to my Indian friend's house for dinner, I should not be surprised to be served Indian food, and no hamburgers. My orthodox friends should not be expected to make me a cheeseburger. If Kate and Jonathan invited Monica and myself over for dinner, I wouldn't expect them to apologize for their vegan dietary restriction and serve us cheese or ice cream. Of course if your dietary restriction directly contradicts your hosts (Jonathan and Kate go to visit their Inuit friends who subsist solely on seal blubber as it is their only food source) then I guess you are at a impasse but I still think host trumps guest, under the "when in rome" principle... certainly this is more practical than the reverse.
The reverse situation (should the guy hosting the BBQ go out of his way to get tofu-pups?) seems more logically and morally sinuous... I would venture that the best argument for serving meat at weddings is "I made that asshole an eggplant parm last time he came over to dinner, the least he can do is serve me a steak for buying a gift and showing up at his wedding". But that's a whole 'nother discussion.
As a side note, I find weddings are possibly the worst sort of situation I regularly find myself in as a vegetarian, much worse than fly-over-country airports, developing world cities, or barbecues. As a recent omnivore, I did not expect this. The choices are slim or non-existent, and when they do exist it is difficult and socially awkward to handle (e.g. the meat entree is presented to you, and then after some confusion, put in the trash and something else is brought instead). The idea that catering companies charge *more* for veggie food over meats makes steam come out my ears. I think I would do everything at my disposal to foster weddings that are more friendly for vegetarians or vegans.
I have told Monica if I have a wedding with meat, I want the only meats on the menu to be dogs and cats. (Oh, wait, you mean YOU have dietary restrictions, TOO?!) Then we'll see who the true omnivores are... hahaha.
What do y'all think?
John
For me, I think a large part of me being vegetarian - perhaps the only good thing to come about over making a stink in public about food you refuse to eat - is that it gives you an opportunity to demonstrate that it's not so hard and can yield interesting and nutritious food choices. As a dietary restriction that I believe promotes better environmental health and treatment of animals, I think it's an idea worth spreading, and I feel often without a soapbox or podium. A wedding seems like a great opportunity to demonstrate what you believe. Sure, it might be uncomfortable and unpopular, but standing up for your beliefs often is. Jonathan Safran Foer's book Eating Animals explores this topic in some depth... definitely a recommended read and I have a copy I can loan out.
It's weird this is an interesting topic to consider - weddings, to me, seem to be a special case of a larger more general question which is whether guests should feel obligated to set aside personal moral decisions for their guests. I think that in general the answer to this is no. If I go to my Indian friend's house for dinner, I should not be surprised to be served Indian food, and no hamburgers. My orthodox friends should not be expected to make me a cheeseburger. If Kate and Jonathan invited Monica and myself over for dinner, I wouldn't expect them to apologize for their vegan dietary restriction and serve us cheese or ice cream. Of course if your dietary restriction directly contradicts your hosts (Jonathan and Kate go to visit their Inuit friends who subsist solely on seal blubber as it is their only food source) then I guess you are at a impasse but I still think host trumps guest, under the "when in rome" principle... certainly this is more practical than the reverse.
The reverse situation (should the guy hosting the BBQ go out of his way to get tofu-pups?) seems more logically and morally sinuous... I would venture that the best argument for serving meat at weddings is "I made that asshole an eggplant parm last time he came over to dinner, the least he can do is serve me a steak for buying a gift and showing up at his wedding". But that's a whole 'nother discussion.
As a side note, I find weddings are possibly the worst sort of situation I regularly find myself in as a vegetarian, much worse than fly-over-country airports, developing world cities, or barbecues. As a recent omnivore, I did not expect this. The choices are slim or non-existent, and when they do exist it is difficult and socially awkward to handle (e.g. the meat entree is presented to you, and then after some confusion, put in the trash and something else is brought instead). The idea that catering companies charge *more* for veggie food over meats makes steam come out my ears. I think I would do everything at my disposal to foster weddings that are more friendly for vegetarians or vegans.
I have told Monica if I have a wedding with meat, I want the only meats on the menu to be dogs and cats. (Oh, wait, you mean YOU have dietary restrictions, TOO?!) Then we'll see who the true omnivores are... hahaha.
What do y'all think?
John
Kate El-Bizri
Aug 9, 2010, 10:02:19 PM8/9/10
to The Veggie Table
For those that don't know, my husband Jon and I are vegan. We served
exclusively vegan food at our wedding. It was a middle eastern feast,
which was appropriate culturally, as Jon's family is Syrian, and
filled with enough variety and deliciousness that no one seemed to
mind that it was all vegan. There were two types of vegan cupcakes for
dessert, and they were so good we had meat eaters asking for more. I
think the trick is to make sure the food tastes so good that no one
thinks they're missing out on anything.
We do the same for our parties. We ask our guests to not bring meat or
dairy products into our home, and we tend to cook up a storm of
gourmet-inspired vegan cuisine. Even if it's just pizzas, we put forth
an extra effort to make the food mouth-watering.
I think the key is respect. I think it's disrespectful of our values
to come into our house with something we find morally objectionable. I
also think it would be disrespectful to expect our friends, veggie or
meat eaters, to cater to our veganism. When we go to friends homes, we
bring our own food unless they specifically tell us not to, because we
respect their choices and don't want to demand an extra effort from
them.
Kate
exclusively vegan food at our wedding. It was a middle eastern feast,
which was appropriate culturally, as Jon's family is Syrian, and
filled with enough variety and deliciousness that no one seemed to
mind that it was all vegan. There were two types of vegan cupcakes for
dessert, and they were so good we had meat eaters asking for more. I
think the trick is to make sure the food tastes so good that no one
thinks they're missing out on anything.
We do the same for our parties. We ask our guests to not bring meat or
dairy products into our home, and we tend to cook up a storm of
gourmet-inspired vegan cuisine. Even if it's just pizzas, we put forth
an extra effort to make the food mouth-watering.
I think the key is respect. I think it's disrespectful of our values
to come into our house with something we find morally objectionable. I
also think it would be disrespectful to expect our friends, veggie or
meat eaters, to cater to our veganism. When we go to friends homes, we
bring our own food unless they specifically tell us not to, because we
respect their choices and don't want to demand an extra effort from
them.
Kate
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