[Jaxom/Meyers/Doctrine/Gilohesh] Detour On The Way Home, Part 3
Clifford
“Detour On The Way Home, Part 3”
The reluctant Captain Jaal Jaxom
Ensign Joann Meyers
Lieutenant Commander Tale Gilohesh
Lieutenant Commander Diane Doctrine
and her son Toby
And the Effervescent Admiral Houhah
==A Thirteen Hours Later, Starbase 55==
As the Scioto glided into Docking Bay 3, the cavernous interior of Starbase 55 came into view. The bay was brightly lit by overhead glow panels, casting a cool blue-white light over the polished metallic deck. Starfleet personnel in duty uniforms bustled about; some guiding incoming vessels, while others oversaw cargo transfers via anti-grav sleds. A wide transparent aluminum viewport stretched along one bulkhead, offering a stunning glimpse of passing starships. The hum of force fields and distant chatter over comm channels filled the air. Nearby, a turbolift door slid open as an engineering team stepped out, tools in hand to do whatever it was they tended to do on Starbases of that kind.
A Starbase Ops officer approached, PADD in hand, ready to greet them. The human man seemed a portly stodgy type, with a pig nose and comb over that was doing all the work of a full hair cut. “Welcome aboard,” he greeted them gruffly. “I am Commander Dipthshek, here to aid you in whatever you need. However—”
“However?” Jaal asked questioningly, doing the best he could to sound friendly.
“Them—” the man snorted towards the women with disgust.
Tale interjected and tried to not make a childish face at Commander Dipstick. “Thank you Commander, we are very grateful for your time. I am Doctor Tale Gilohesh and this is Lieutenant Commander Diane Doctrine, hiding behind her is her son, Toby,” she smiled gently.
“Yes, yes,” he said, instantly dismissing her and focusing on Jaal. “Captain Jaxom, we will be assembling a team for you.”
“Great,” he replied, “Let’s get to work. We have megameters of ground to cover. Lead on.”
“You’ll need to report to Admiral Huohah,” the pigish man bleated with a little click of his boots. “These women will be escorted down to security.”
Tale bit back a laugh. “Admiral Who-Ha?” She asked with a slight head tilt, what was with this universe.
“Whuuooo-haaaaaah,” he drawled out the same emphasis on the syllables that she had said. Clearly, the man lived up to the name Dipstick.
“We need to report to Security?” Tale asked him gently, much like a Preschool teacher asking a child to put away toys. “Are we being detained?”
“It is protocol for your—- situation,” he grumbled.
“Is this a common situation?” Tale asked hopefully.
“No…”
“Why don’t they go with me to see the Admiral?” Jaal asked, “After all, they are who we’ll be talking about and I’m sure the Admiral will want to ask them questions.” He purposely avoided saying the Admiral’s name.
That fact was not lost on Joaan who always had a hard time suppressing her sense of humor. “Admiral who?” she asked innocently.
“Admiral Huohah! HOOOOOO HAAAAA!” Dipthshek shook his turkey waddle in such a loud way that Tale nearly lost her composure, but turned her head behind her companion instead. “And he has strict rules about people wandering about his starbase, he wants them to go through security— this isn’t Deep Space Nine, you know.”
“Are you implying that we’re going to be detained?” Tale pressed again. “Tossing us in the brig certainly is a choice, I don’t think I have ever had Odo do that.”
“Doctor Gilgamesh,” Dipthshek looked at them all impatiently. “Just do as you’re told and you’ll get your science team. It’s not that hard.”
Tale looked over to Diane and whispered sarcastically. “I guess we’re the ones just being dipshits, eh?”
“No, we’re not,” the blonde whispered back. Then she addressed Jaal, “Uh, Captain Jaxom?”
Once Jaal realized he was being spoken to, he turned to Diane with a questioning look on his face.
“Does United Federation Constitution Clause number eight, eight, seven, b, subsection five, c, Starfleet a and b, exist… well, here.” She splayed her hands out indicating the universe and time they were currently existing in.
“Oh, good one,” Joann commented after a half second to herself more than anyone else.
Jaal’s eyes squinted. He ran his fingers through his hair from front to back as he dredged up the information from that unused portion of his memory. Then he laughed to himself turning to Dipthshek, “These three are going with me,” he announced in his captain’s voice, “... as they are requesting asylum under the United Federation of Planets Refugees from Another Universe or Reality or Timeline Clause. If you need a reminder of what that clause allows, I’ll be happy to explain it to you AND the commanding officer of this facility.”
Joann deciding to not wait until Dipthshek answered in some time wasting fashion explained, “United Federation Constitution Clause number eight, eight, seven, b, subsection five, c, Starfleet a and b states that any officers, enlisted Starfleet personnel who find themselves stranded in another timeline and/or universe and/or dimension may request asylum and/or refugee status from the Starfleet and/or other United Federation of Planets entities until which time their return to their timeline or universe or dimension of origin can be achieved. If the return to their time/universe/dimension of origin cannot be achieved they can be granted citizenship in the United Federation of Planets providing they agree to the terms and conditions of UFP Constitution, its amendments and all applicable local laws and regulations.”
Joann paused to take a breath, “In short, at this moment, there is no reason for Miss Gilohesh, Miss Doctrine, or her son to be detained unless they actually create a reason for such detainment by your security staff.”
The squat man eyeballed Joann with pure unadulterated annoyance. “Just because you can prattle off some regulation doesn’t make you all in the corrects,” he harrumphed.
“Actually, it does,” Joann replied in a quiet, firm voice.
The haughty officer disapprovingly harumphed again. “Follow me, I’ll take you up to the Admiral and he’ll deal with you himself.”
“That’s very magnanimous of you Commander Dipthshek, we truly appreciate it,” Tale added, trying to not let her laughter get the best of her. “We won’t cause any trouble— really.”
“See that you don’t,” he snorted. “Admiral Houhah doesn’t suffer disobedience, nor foolishness. Certainly won’t put up with your childish snickering.”
“I’m reminded of exactly why I don’t really like starbase commanders,” Jaal said in an aside to Joann once they started walking. “Remind me to tell you about Livia Proctor sometime.”
== Starbase 55 – Admiral’s Ready Room ==
The turbolift doors slid open, revealing a corridor lined with Starfleet insignias and flickering LCARS displays. Commander Dipthshek led the way, his comb-over fluttering with every indignant huff. Behind him, Jaal, Joann, Tale, Diane, and Toby followed—Tale subtly mimicking Dipthshek’s waddling gait when he wasn’t looking, earning a stifled giggle from Toby.
At the end of the hall stood a set of polished double doors, emblazoned with:
ADMIRAL HUOHAH – COMMANDING OFFICER
Dipthshek jabbed the chime. "Admiral, the… visitors are here."
A voice boomed from within—warm, theatrical, and just a touch larger than life.
"ENTER, MY DEAR DIPTHSHEK, ENTER!"
The doors hissed open.
Admiral Huohah stood framed against a panoramic viewport, the outer space’s glow casting him in a dramatic silhouette. He was tall and lean, with wild, expressive eyebrows and a neatly trimmed beard that couldn’t quite tame his animated features. His uniform was immaculate, but his posture was pure showman—one hand resting on his hip, the other gesturing grandly as he turned to face them.
“Ahhh! Captain Jaxom! The legendary Captain Jaal Jaxom!” he declared.
Jaal had to blink slowly to keep his rolling eyes from showing.
Houhah's voice was warm as cinnamon coated honey. “And this must be the Counselor Meyers. And—” His gaze settled onto Diane and Tale. “Our guests from beyond the stars! Or time! Or both! How simply marvelous.”
Tale blinked. “Is he always like this?”
“Unfortunately,” Dipthshek mumbled under his breath before clearing his throat.
“Commander Dipthshek, you may go. Shoo with you,” the Admiral made a flamboyant shooing gesture with his hand.
“Admiral, I must protest, Starbase protocol states—”
“Protocol also states that we treat people with dignity and hospitality,” Houhah replied with a polite sternness that left no room to argue. It was such a perky response, Tale was stunned that he was putting anyone in their place— the man was an expert in gallantry and the noble art of gentlemanliness that wasn’t oft seen. “Unless these ladies and their young compatriot have smuggled in a very small Borg nanoprobe on their persons or a Tribble armed with photon torpedoes, I think we can skip the brig. Dismissed Dipthshek.”
Dipthshek opened his mouth and closed it again. His jowls quivering in dismay at the affront. Storming out like a defiant, but deflated balloon of a man. Houhah turned back to them. “Please sit,” he insisted, beaming at each of them in turn. “Now! Where were we? Ah yes—temporal anomalies, alternate universes, and the grand mystery of existence! Please tell me absolutely everything.”
“Well, Admiral,” Jaal began, “Ensign Meyers and I were on our way to Trill when we happened upon an anomaly. Sensor readings indicated it was spatial and temporal in nature. We stopped to acquire more detailed readings to hand off to someone who had more time and capability to study it. Then we picked up a distress beacon sent out by Commander Doctrine here.” he motioned towards the petite blonde. “We then established communications and found their runabout on the verge of becoming un-spaceworthy. Short story from there is we picked them up and tractored their damaged ship here… the closest Starfleet facility.”
"Absolutely fascinating," The Admiral paused, noticing Toby peeking from behind Diane. "And we mustn't forget our youngest explorer! Tell me, cadet - have you ever seen a time rift before today?"
Toby shook his head, wide-eyed.
"Magnificent!" Houhah clapped his hands. "You'll be the most interesting student in your class! Now - who's hungry? I've had the replicators programmed with every comfort food from eight quadrants!"
As Houhah herded them toward plush chairs, Tale caught Diane's eye and silently mouthed Is this really happening?
Diane replied just as silently, It appears so.
What’s the over, under on when the musical numbers start? Tale said under her breath with a smile before turning her full attention to the Admiral, speaking in her normal voice, “Thank you for your cordiality Admiral, I was not looking forward to a tour of your brig.”
“Pish-posh,” he waved the idea off like it was the most incredibly absurd notion he’d ever heard in his entire existence of being in the universe. “You fine folks didn’t cause the universe to collapse in on itself ...yet— so I don’t see the need to be so alarmist.”
“I …” Jaal began a little unsure of what Houhah’s next reaction might be, he found the flamboyance rather annoying. “... am of the opinion that perhaps we should copy the database from their runabout and compare their history with ours. There may be clues to the possible cause of the anomaly that brought them here.” He wasn’t about to mention the possibility of the anomaly not being natural, just yet.
Diane noted the Trill didn’t bring up the fact that there was a reason to think the anomaly wasn’t completely natural. She stayed quiet for the time being.
Houhah steepled his fingers, suddenly all business. "An excellent suggestion, Captain! Though..." His dramatic pause could have powered a warp core. "...I suspect you're both omitting the juiciest detail." He leaned forward, the nebula's light catching the Starfleet delta on his chest. "Does this anomaly have opinions about being studied?"
The room temperature seemed to drop three degrees. Even the ambient hum of the starbase quieted.
Tale's ocular implant flickered. Diane's tapping stopped mid-beat. Jaal folded his arms across his chest wondering how Houhah could have guessed they had a theory about the anomaly not being entirely natural.
Houhah's grin returned, brighter than a supernova. "Ahhh! That reaction tells me dinner will be fascinating. Computer—" He snapped his fingers. "—activate Protocol Dinner Theater. And do bring the Andorian brandy. The blue one."
In an aside to Jaal, Joann whispered, “Are we sure we’re not the ones who switched ‘verses?”
“I think we’re about to find out,” he whispered back.
TBC…