Miyetti Allah Fulani-Socio-Cultural Organisation Job Advertisement

[Oluwatoyin Vincent Adepoju]

                                            Miyetti Allah Fulani-Socio-Cultural Organisation Job Advertisement

                                                                                           From Daily Trust 

                                                                                                  07/23/2018

Job Title

 Propagandist

Eligiblity

You must be from Southern Nigeria so as to increase your credibility. The voices of those from the Muslim North are automatically seen as likely to be biased in our favour. 

Job Description

The ideal person for the job must be able to paint Miyetti Allah Fulani Socio-Cultural Organisation's strategies as if they have no ethnic significance even though ethnic positioning is their only goal.

The applicant must project the image of being thoroughly detribalised, ignoring the amplification of ethnic warfare that is Miyetti Allah's central vision at the present time.

The operative must  be able to do their best in debate to   ignore the fact of Miyetti Allah's existence as a parallel government with its own army. The candidate should be ready to keep calling on the federal government to take action even as no action is being taken in the course of  four years, even as our man in office is working towards re-election next year.

In all circumstances, the candidate must project the image of high civilization and refinement, all the better for claiming that dirty ethnic politics is beneath them, so Miyetti Allah's manipulation of political process with the help of our men who control the federal  government is smokescreened as if it does not exist.

The aspirant must do their best to present the ongoing struggle of our noble movement as the comforting 'herders-farmers clashes'  even as our armies, equipped with sophisticated machine guns, rout the foolish and weaponless farmers from their homes so those who are more worthy may move in.

When information about massacres by Fulani herdsmen militia, our army, becomes unavoidable, the candidate  should be able to deftly deflect the argument, arguing for government incompetence, even in the face of government connivance, argue for a balance of killings between herdsmen and farmers though the feeble efforts of the farmers do not come near those of our fearsomely armed and merciless war machine which uproots entire communities, as the candidate  makes claims about the need to avoid heating up the polity through unfounded conclusions.

The aspirant must, by all means, pretend that concentrating ranching in the Muslim North does not make sense. The argument just always be held that cattle colonies across the nation is the only valid option. Claims of right wing Fulani dominance possibly seeking to use the cattle colonies ideas a means to plant ethnic supremacists as waiting time bombs across the nation must be treated as pure delusion, even as our current war to subdue the Middle Belt should be blamed on the natives of that region. The candidate also needs to be bold enough to blame the massacres on native Middle Bet warlords or blame it on politicians trying to discredit the federal government.

Further innovation along similar lines will be handsomely rewarded.  

If you are skilled in pretending that noon is midnight and midnight daybreak, we want to hear from you.

Renumeration: Generous. 

All enquiries and applications are to be to this email address: miyett...@gmail.org

The Publicity Secretary 

Miyetti Allah

[Cornelius Hamelberg]

A'udhu billahi min ash-shaitan-ir-rajeem !

It is Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala Who created the pen .

cf. Al-Quran Al-Kareem: Surah Al-Qalam (The Pen

For those who believe that the pen or aql was mainly intended to cause or to promote kufr and mischief, here followeth a point by point rebuttal and correction of Adepoju's misguided missile :

There are those who always want to be a little holier, a little funnier and a little crazier than their devil (Shaitan) and for them too, let the word be freed from the shackles of Adepoju's cosmological impunity, his ill-willed imagination, his nightmare visualisations, his rabid Islamophobia and his all round bigotry by this counter-advertisement to his universe of mischief, kufr and unbelief . And from my own eclectic universe whose founder is the One God, and from His holy spaces where the word abides as forever free, let me direct the 12^th blessing of the Amidah at whomsoever the cap fits :

“And for the slanderers, let there be no hope !

And may all wickedness perish in an instant !

And may all Your enemies be cut down speedily!

The wanton sinners, may You speedily uproot, smash, cast down m and humble !

Blessed are You HASHEM , Who breaks enemies and humbles wanton sinners! “

Here goes :

Eligibility :

Don't forget that we are all one.

We are Nigerians. Just as Baba Salimonou Kadiri often tells me when I ask him, “How do you know that ?” You should see him smile! He smiles at me, mostly over the phone. Thanks to that hide and speak technology, maybe not as effective as the talking drum, but that's our main means of communication since we live several miles apart in Stockholm. So occasionally when I ask him (astounded), he bursts into deep and sonorous guffaws and I can hear him beating his chest as he boasts, “ I am a Nigerian” - and being Nigerian of course confers certain types of Knowledge not readily available to less fortunate people, born or bred in other parts of God's planet , for example people like Kunta Kinte. The point about Baba Kadiri is that at that point of the discussion, he cannot be heard beating his chest and saying “ I am an Honourable Yoruba man ( which he is) and Yoruba is indeed a strong culture , but whether we are talking about professors of electricity who produce darkness only or the deviants , miscreants and recalcitrants who want to break away from Mother Nigeria and go their own way, he always says, “no matter the tribe, as long as the man can do the job!”

(For “faithfuls” and “recalcitrants”, apologies to Lord Kperogi and Her Majesty, for doing what I like with their English. Feeling fit, I sometimes permit myself the unlimited poetic freedom to Shakepeare-ize the lingo as I think fit, take you back through time and space to the Elizabethan age . Yes we can ! 

Dear applicant, here's the main point about eligibility for this job: if you are or have or can produce light or better still, noor instead of darkness, you don't have to come from Southern Nigeria ( East or West or the creeks of the Niger Delta ) “to increase your credibility”.

Accidents of birth don't apply and should not be a problem. We know that you can't help being or coming from somewhere ( usually your mother's womb) and through no fault or merit of your own you most probably came from heaven and were were born in this universe, God's universe - which cannot be separated from God since He does not live outside of it but lives both within and outside you and me, pantheists y'all , which, all said and done means that unlike Him you must be from somewhere (anywhere) and, being a man or woman or a transvestite or any of the LGBT categories, that in itself should and does confer on you the dignity of being a human being ( Male and female created He them.

“And the Lord God formed man of dust from the ground, and He breathed into his nostrils the soul of life, and man became a living soul. “ (Bereshit 2 : 7)

Right now I have some errands in town , such as exchanging a very expensive jacket ( a birthday present) for something simpler ( ragamuffin style) . Will get back to dismantle the bigotry in your “Job Description”.

As to “Remuneration: Generous “ as a humble fakir, let me just say this : “ Allah is the rich and we are the poor”

If you want a political and material context for that look at the life and example of Abu Dharr al Ghifari

[Windows Live 2018]

Can anyone on the listserve please furnish us with a picture of an AK47 toting Fulani herdsman. For all the literature expended on this creature this picture should be readily available, even ubiquitous. I admit I have never seen one before not even from the BBC nor Parliaments testimony that alleged rocket launchers.

I need to be able to visualize the real thing in my minds eye rather than conjure fictional representations.

Many thanks.

OAA.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

--
Listserv moderated by Toyin Falola, University of Texas at Austin
To post to this group, send an email to USAAfric...@googlegroups.com
To subscribe to this group, send an email to USAAfricaDial...@googlegroups.com
Current archives at http://groups.google.com/group/USAAfricaDialogue
Early archives at http://www.utexas.edu/conferences/africa/ads/index.html
---
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "USA Africa Dialogue Series" group.
To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to usaafricadialo...@googlegroups.com.
For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.