Confusing sleep and bed
Sandra Dodd
Lots of adults read themselves to sleep, or watch late night TV and turn the TV off when they wake up later. <g> I don't think it's immoral.
When my kids were younger they were quite likely to fall asleep during a movie, on the couch or on a futon in front of the TV. When they got older, 12 and so, they really wanted their own beds, but Holly still falls asleep to a CD, and Kirby has a timer on his TV. Marty used to watch TV, but now just turns the lights off and goes to sleep.
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Now that I see it cold, though, the questioner seems confused about being asleep and going to bed.
This is a perfect example of where principles can change one's view of the world. By "rules," and "bedtime," a person is to be in bed by a certain time, followed as soon as possible by sleep. Then waking up has to do with getting out of bed. If one lives by that rule, bed and sleep are inseparable.
If, though, a family is really looking at *SLEEP* then the bed is just one of many options.
When Kirby was little, we had a crib. We used it less and less as the weeks went by.
When Marty came along, the crib was full of stuffed animals and toys, and Marty slept with us.
By the time we had Holly, the crib had been sold to someone who wanted it because it matched her other furniture. Cool.
Babies all slept in parents' arms, or in bed with mom. Older kids slept in bed with mom, or on a bed in front of the TV, or with dad, or on the top bunk over mom and baby. When we were asked something like "When does Kirby go to bed?" we said "About half an hour after he goes to sleep." Seriously, they would fall asleep near us when they could, and we'd carry them in from the couch, or lap, or carseat. Sleep had to do with sleepiness, and bed came later.
I think Marty only woke up where he had fallen asleep maybe five percent of the time, when he was younger than three.
So if a child falls asleep in front of the TV, he is really listening to his body about sleep. <g>
If a mom thinks that's not listening to his body, I think what she wants him to listen to is the voices of her mother and grandmother saying "Why isn't he in bed?" to her. Luckily, my children can't hear the voices in my head. <g>
There's probably some TV prejudice at work too. If s child fell asleep reading a book, I think parents would be charmed instead of critical.
Sandra
k
reading some of the things about sleep that others were going through
and some things that worked well with Sandra's kids, I realized I've
unconsciously held onto the idea of grownups being "unencumbered" by
little ones at night, even though ds has always slept with me at night
when I finally make it to bed.
Being told when to go to bed... I'm still struggling against that order
from long ago when I was a child being sent "off" to a bed with
specific instructions to sleep (whether I felt the need to or not).
So just the last 3 nights I've been holding Karl past the time he has
fallen asleep... until about 1/2 hour or an hour into it when he begins
to wiggle from getting too hot or uncomfortable in my arms to stay
asleep like he'd like, and I put him down in bed or (last night as I
finished a movie) on the couch. This is a much more relaxed informal
and flexible way for Karl to happily go to sleep.
This in contrast to me nursing Karl "down" at night in our bed or
nursing him when he got sleepy and taking him as soon as possible to
lie in our quieter darker room where we weren't to be for at least
another couple hours. It has taken me this long (Karl is 3 in 2 1/2
months) to get it that he just likes to hang out with us even when he's
asleep.
And that makes sense. I used feel that I was missing out on something
when as a child I was sent to bed away from all the excitement the
grownups must have been enjoying while we were away.
Kathe
Sanguin...@aol.com
Now that I see it cold, though, the questioner seems confused about being asleep and going to bed.
watcharin sangkara
I'm not so sure how i got in to this list but
unschooling is definately interesting idea to me.
And cause of lack english skill and time to read all
the everyday discussion so i choose to read only
interesting subject.
In Thailand is slowly interesting in this idea. there
are about hundred middle class familys that homeschool
their children.
ANyway, my purpose of writing this email is to asking
for information. i'm going to be a summer camp
counselor at Hiddenvilla an ngo farm, near
Sanfransisco, CA, on June 10 -Aug 19. And after that i
need small job for 2 people from Thailand for 4 weeks.
If any of you can help please email me back at
rin_n...@yahoo.com
RIn from Thailand
--- Sanguin...@aol.com wrote:
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Sandra Dodd
In Thailand is slowly interesting in this idea. there
are about hundred middle class familys that homeschool
their children.
Loon
>>> I used feel that I was missing out on something
when as a child I was sent to bed away from all the excitement the
grownups must have been enjoying while we were away. <<<
Yeah, I used to hate being sent to bed when we had "adult" company.
And I couldn't sleep anyway because I used to hear them talking and
laughing downstairs and it sounded like loads of fun. Of course, once
I was older and had the chance to join them, I rarely did. It turns
out my parents and their friends mostly played cards, which I don't
really enjoy that much. So it makes me wonder, what was the big
deal? I think it was because the adults didn't want their game
"interrupted" by having to pay attention to us kids for whatever we
needed (food, helping settle squabbles, etc.). :(
Terri
(aka Loon)