Re: UK Feminist Bloggers: "Groupie"

[Kate Smurthwaite]

i hosted a high school battle of the bands recently - a mixed school but not one of the bands had any gilrs in.  meanwhile loads of girls had shown up in t-shirts to support various bands by screaming at very high frequency whenever they were mentioned.  i was horrified and i did at one point take the opportunity to suggest they should form their own band.  sadly the media doesn't do much to address this.

----- Original Message ----
From: "aule...@hotmail.co.uk" <aule...@hotmail.co.uk>
To: UK Feminist Bloggers <ukfeminis...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Monday, 30 June, 2008 4:53:09 PM
Subject: UK Feminist Bloggers: "Groupie"


[NB: I hope this does not sound long-winded!!]

This is my first post here and I feel like this rant will hopefully
create some discussion. On my blog, I posted a a piece about groupies.
Jay-Z being at Glasto has been very controversial but I think he
mashed it up brilliantly. Beyonce is one of my favourite artists and
lol, I am one of those fans who always ends up defending to many but
you know how it is like when you like someone's music, you keep
supporting them!

Anyway, on this page of YouTube on one of the videos of Jay-Z one
person says that Beyonce is acting like a groupie because of how she
was acting. She was clearly having a good time supporting him.

For some reason, it really pissed me off. Obviously when you read
things online, you can misconstrue them and people can mean it as a
joke or whatever but I just find calling her or any woman a "groupie"
is extremely offensive.

I suppose it seems so obvious that words like "groupie" carry the
stench of the patriarchy but really, why can't a woman support her
husband/boyfriend/partner without being called a groupie??

I'd love to know some views about this :)

[Katie McGrainor]

Funnily enough I have a recent story about this subject!  My boyfriend is in a band and he had a gig on friday night - I went outside for some air before they came on and one of the earlier bands was outside so I was chatting to them with my friend, the singer (also male), and the 'ex-drummer' (kicked out because he kept drinking too much and messing up at gigs, needless to say he was off his face when I was talking to him) asked me who I was ...he will henceforth be referred to at ED:

ED: so who are you then? (something like that)

Me: Oh i'm not in the band, I go out with the bassist...er but I'm not a groupie, I'm a roadie haha.

ED: Oh well I don't think you can be classed as a groupie if you're actually going out with him...not that there is anything wrong with groupies.

Me: Well!  I think I'll have to disagree with you on that...

...cut to us having an involved conversation about the morality of having sex with someone who idolises you just for the kick of it, not because you feel anything for them, meanwhile they are fulfilling a dream (ED: Oh but aren't you doing something nice for them then though? - Me:  Er NO!  Because afterwards they are likely to feel used and let down and disillusioned and it's not like the musician is thinking about it that way), and we ended up agreeing a compromising on a hypothetical situation where both parties are mutually aware of the circumstances i.e. they both want 'meaningless sex' and aren't trying to use or obtain something from the situation.  It was a lot more complicated than that and he was slurring a lot - and I think some of his friends thought he was trying to chat me up because they were looking over and laughing!

So, after all that long windedness - because I felt the need to defend myself as not being a groupie I ended up having this conversation!  I think I did make him think though because he came out with that old chestnut 'I hadn't really thought of it like that before' and he said he saw what I was saying and didn't try to say I was a bitter prude or anything.

Funnily enough the most enjoyable act for me all night was the only woman there!  Here name is Clare Maguire and she has the most surprisingly low and soulful voice!  By the time my boyfriend's band came on it was 11:30 at the end of a long work week and my allergies had gone haywire so I was not a happy bunny!  At least I got to possibly educate a man though ;)

Sorry for the waffle!

Katie x