Rigger's Diary (hoist by a polyurathane petard)

165 views
Skip to first unread message

Wrightsaerials

unread,
Aug 8, 2003, 9:26:15 PM8/8/03
to
I reckon this bloke must have been a complete idiot. This is what he told me
happened to him.
"Last night I returned from the pub and decided to do a bit of DIY. I got
everything ready but when I pressed the trigger on the huge aerosol of
expanding foam ('fills awkward gaps, sets rock hard, expands 60 times its
original volume') it wouldn't work. It said 'shake 20 times' so I shook it an
extra 50. I fiddled around with it for a while but it wouldn't eject any foam.
I took the nozzle off and poked into the hole with a screwdriver but still
nothing happened. I tried hitting the can with a hammer but it still wouldn't
work. "What a bugger!" I thought. I got a little screwdriver and put the end
into the hole where the nozzle should be and hit it carefully with a hammer.
Still nothing, so I hit it a bit harder. Eventually I hit it really hard.
Suddenly all hell broke loose. There was a loud bang. A fountain of sticky foam
went up to the ceiling. With great presence of mind I put my finger over the
hole but this turned the vertical jet into a sideways spray, with foam hitting
the walls, curtains, and furniture. I thought I'd retreive the situation as
much as possible so I tried to direct the foam into the cavity I was trying to
fill. I managed to fill it very quickly; in fact it soon overflowed onto the
carpet. Since the job was now done I decided the best thing to do was to put
the can in the dustbin. I carried it along the hall as fast as I could but foam
was coming out quite fast all the time. In the yard, a lot of foam got on the
cat, unfortunately. I dropped the can into the bin and shut the lid as fast as
I could.
The wife was pretty annoyed about the carpet, walls, curtains and ceiling, and
the cat was really freaked out. Next day I had to hold the cat tightly in a
towel while the wife cut most of its fur off (good job its warm weather). The
dustbinmen came and when they tipped the bin up on their lorry nothing camer
out. Everything in there was one solid mass. The council says I'll have to pay
for a new bin, because I just can't get the solid foam out. It's as hard as
rock. We've got to have new curtains and a carpet, and the insurance say it
wasn't an accident it was idiocy (cheeky bastards) so they won't pay."
What an idiot! Comments?
Bill

QrizB

unread,
Aug 9, 2003, 2:44:02 AM8/9/03
to
On 09 Aug 2003 01:26:15 GMT, wrights...@aol.comnojunk
(Wrightsaerials) wrote:

>What an idiot! Comments?

You really shouldn't make me laugh this hard at this time of day ...

--
QrizB

I sound like I know what I'm talking about, but don't
be fooled.

Dom Robinson

unread,
Aug 9, 2003, 5:57:49 AM8/9/03
to
In article <20030808212615...@mb-m13.aol.com>,
wrights...@aol.comnojunk says...
Re: New bin man
> What an idiot! Comments?

Will he pay for a new monitor for me too? Mine's covered in the tea I just
tried to drink :)
--

Dom Robinson Gamertag: DVDfever email: dom at dvdfever dot co dot uk
/* http://DVDfever.co.uk (editor)
/* 937 DVDs, 259 games, 33 videos, 67 cinema films, 69 CDs, laserdiscs & news
/* catch me if you can, terminator 3, brute force, punch drunk love, shield s1
"Organiser Eric Amy hit out today after just four people showed up for
a public meeting to fight apathy in Dorchester" - Dorset Evening Echo

Mike.P®

unread,
Aug 9, 2003, 6:24:02 AM8/9/03
to
On Sat, 9 Aug 2003 10:57:49 +0100, Dom Robinson
<murphyi...@hotmail.com> wrote:

>In article <20030808212615...@mb-m13.aol.com>,
>wrights...@aol.comnojunk says...
>Re: New bin man
>> What an idiot! Comments?
>
>Will he pay for a new monitor for me too? Mine's covered in the tea I just
>tried to drink :)


Well to be honest, although I have one of the old Pioneer Ondidgi
boxes I rarely come to this group as I basically think the programming
on FTA is verging on abysmal and hardly use the thing (apart from CH5)
BUT...after reading these I think I may drop in more often :-)

--
Mike.P ®

View my dvd list?

http://www.dvdprofiler.com/mycollection.asp?alias=Mike.P®

Ross

unread,
Aug 9, 2003, 8:24:31 AM8/9/03
to
In message <3pi9jvgtnsb1034ik...@4ax.com>, Mike. P®
<cd...@nospam.hotmail.com> writes

>On Sat, 9 Aug 2003 10:57:49 +0100, Dom Robinson
><murphyi...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>>In article <20030808212615...@mb-m13.aol.com>,
>>wrights...@aol.comnojunk says...
>>Re: New bin man
>>> What an idiot! Comments?


Hee hee. That one must go on the web site Bill :-)
--
Ross Lockley
Galashiels

http://www.analoguesat.co.uk

Reply address is spam trapped. Remove the trap to reply direct.

R. Mark Clayton

unread,
Aug 9, 2003, 9:10:57 AM8/9/03
to

"Wrightsaerials" <wrights...@aol.comnojunk> wrote in message
news:20030808212615...@mb-m13.aol.com...


> What an idiot! Comments?
> Bill

Sounds like the time I tried to repair the air spring on my office chair.

It stopped going up so I took the seat off and fiddled around with the
valve. Suddenly a geyser of shitty black oil comes spraying out of the top.
Most of it hit the ceiling, but there was enough that didn't to cover me, my
desk and just about everything in my study. Fortunately it was fairly light
oil, and it could either be wiped off things or they could be washed.


Chris p

unread,
Aug 9, 2003, 9:42:37 PM8/9/03
to
Wrightsaerials wrote:
<Snip Pant wetting hilartiy>
> Bill
You sir have re kindled my idea for an Amusing Anecdotes database :-)

Wrightsaerials

unread,
Aug 10, 2003, 9:05:17 AM8/10/03
to
>You sir have re kindled my idea for an Amusing Anecdotes database :-)
>

Go for it!
Bill

Vic

unread,
Aug 10, 2003, 1:50:24 PM8/10/03
to
"Wrightsaerials" <wrights...@aol.comnojunk> wrote in message
news:20030810090517...@mb-m20.aol.com...

> >You sir have re kindled my idea for an Amusing Anecdotes database :-)
> >
>
> Go for it!
> Bill
Bill, you deserve a newsgroup of your own - or maybe a telly program -
better than 'The Office' if that's possible!
Trouble is no-one would see it - they'd be too busy looking for you on the
newsgroups.........


Wrightsaerials

unread,
Aug 10, 2003, 2:11:10 PM8/10/03
to
>Bill, you deserve a newsgroup of your own - or maybe a telly program -

Ohh, thank you! You've made me roll shamelessly onto my back in the hope that
you will scratch my belly. I did mention that I'm a labrador, didn't I?
Bill

Dom Robinson

unread,
Aug 10, 2003, 2:37:49 PM8/10/03
to
In article <20030810141110...@mb-m12.aol.com>,
wrights...@aol.comnojunk says...

> >Bill, you deserve a newsgroup of your own - or maybe a telly program -
>
> Ohh, thank you! You've made me roll shamelessly onto my back in the hope that
> you will scratch my belly. I did mention that I'm a labrador, didn't I?

Hey, you never know. We've had car clampers, dustbin men, etc. No TV aerial
men yet, so there's still the market to be tapped.

Mike Harrison

unread,
Aug 10, 2003, 3:21:04 PM8/10/03
to
On Sun, 10 Aug 2003 19:37:49 +0100, Dom Robinson <murphyi...@hotmail.com> wrote:

>In article <20030810141110...@mb-m12.aol.com>,
>wrights...@aol.comnojunk says...
>> >Bill, you deserve a newsgroup of your own - or maybe a telly program -
>>
>> Ohh, thank you! You've made me roll shamelessly onto my back in the hope that
>> you will scratch my belly. I did mention that I'm a labrador, didn't I?
>
>Hey, you never know. We've had car clampers, dustbin men, etc. No TV aerial
>men yet, so there's still the market to be tapped.

..and lots of scope for an interesting programme title based on the word 'erection' of course...

Orange

unread,
Aug 10, 2003, 4:57:08 PM8/10/03
to

"Dom Robinson" <murphyi...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:MPG.19a0a15bf...@news.cis.dfn.de...

> In article <20030810141110...@mb-m12.aol.com>,
> wrights...@aol.comnojunk says...
> > >Bill, you deserve a newsgroup of your own - or maybe a telly program -
> >
> > Ohh, thank you! You've made me roll shamelessly onto my back in the hope
that
> > you will scratch my belly. I did mention that I'm a labrador, didn't I?
>
> Hey, you never know. We've had car clampers, dustbin men, etc. No TV
aerial
> men yet, so there's still the market to be tapped.

I know I'm showing my age now, but the only comedy programme I can recall
that involved the domestic TV side of things was a programme called 'Three
Live Wires' which aired in the early Sixties and starred Michael Medwin, can
anyone else remember it?

g.harman

unread,
Aug 10, 2003, 8:06:34 PM8/10/03
to
On 09 Aug 2003 01:26:15 GMT, wrights...@aol.comnojunk
(Wrightsaerials) wrote:

>I reckon this bloke must have been a complete idiot. This is what he told me
>happened to him.
>"


Snip


>What an idiot! Comments?
>Bill

Some of these modern materials can be bit tricky.
A few months back I shoehorned a tube of no nails or whatever into
the back of my overfull estate car. It was a partly used tube of the
easy application type and I left the nozzle on and unprotected.
Slamming the tailgate shut I was unaware that the tube was
pressed into service and filled the catch and surrounding area nicely.
Took a crow bar to lever the door open next morning.
G.harman

Chippy

unread,
Aug 10, 2003, 9:12:27 PM8/10/03
to
"Orange" <ch...@chips.co.uk> wrote in message news:<bh6bj1$v9ssn$1...@ID-60535.news.uni-berlin.de>...

> I know I'm showing my age now, but the only comedy programme I can recall
> that involved the domestic TV side of things was a programme called 'Three
> Live Wires' which aired in the early Sixties and starred Michael Medwin, can
> anyone else remember it?

Can't remember it myself, but brief details at:

http://www.phill.co.uk/comedy/wires/prod.html

Wrightsaerials

unread,
Aug 12, 2003, 10:11:16 PM8/12/03
to
Hilary tells me that there is now an aerial rigger in Brookside. Presumably
some sort of aerial related story line is about to happen. Or are they just
going to insert an elablorate 'erection' double entendre?
Bill
Reply all
Reply to author
Forward
0 new messages