The twat list
Tommo ³
Buy a 10 pack of Grolsch.
Develop an interest in budgerigars.
Enjoy the music of Celine Dion.
Buy a little England flag for your car window.
Turn up for work wearing black shirt, black trousers, and cream coloured
shoes.
Drive a Renault Megan.
Buy Inspector Morse series 1 on DVD.
Impress your colleagues by power swearing in mixed company.
Go out and buy yourself that budgerigar you've always fancied.
Do the Lottery.
Buy a MacDonalds meal, eat it in your car and throw the used packaging on
the pavement.
Tell people you don't subscribe to satellite TV because you don't watch
enough telly.
Put a humorous car sticker in the rear window of your Megan. Sexist jokes
are the funniest.
Install a novelty ring tone on your mobile phone. Set the ring volume to
"high".
Buy Heartbeat series 2 on DVD.
Buy a wrestling game for your games console. WWF should do the trick.
Affix your England flag to your new Megan.
Discuss house prices whenever The Atkins Diet can't be wangled into the
conversation.
Send someone a text message.
Read Harry Potter books and constantly tell everyone how they're not really
for kids.
Breed budgerigars.
Talk Business on your mobile phone in a public place. Loudly.
Wear an fcuk Tshirt.
Buy a Lotto scratch card.
Watch Big Brother.
Subscribe to Sky. No one'll remember what you said, right?
Show your budgerigars at organised events.
Vote in a Big Brother eviction.
Play Cricket at County level.
The Dude
Tha ladeez luvit,ya now what am sayin'?
Agree on't rest tho'.
==
PAVELB1
Ahh...La Dolce Vita. (sigh) your life is so much fuller than mine.
Morph
news:JaadnXRSc7A...@brightview.com...
I got three out of all of those, I'm on my way to becoming a proper twat.
Sir Benjamin Nunn
"Tommo ³" <tommocube...@dialstart.net> wrote in message
news:JaadnXRSc7A...@brightview.com...
> Shop at Safeway.
I've done this a few times in my life.
> Buy a 10 pack of Grolsch.
Not sure about a ten-pack. I've bought a four-pack of Grolsch on at least
one occasion though. And it was within the last month. Twat.
> Impress your colleagues by power swearing in mixed company.
Always.
> Do the Lottery.
Did it for a while when it first began.
> Install a novelty ring tone on your mobile phone. Set the ring volume to
> "high".
Technically I do this, I guess.
> Buy a wrestling game for your games console. WWF should do the trick.
Did this a long long time ago.
> Send someone a text message.
Yep.
> Buy a Lotto scratch card.
> Watch Big Brother.
Both of these occasionally.
> Subscribe to Sky. No one'll remember what you said, right?
Quite.
Fuck, that's rather a lot of points for me.
BTN
Strawberry
following...
> Read Harry Potter books and constantly tell everyone how they're not really
> for kids.
>
are enjoyable family films but to have to sit on the train and listen to
5 or 6 adults discussing the last book when it came out as if it where
fucking Trotsky novel, made me want to stand up and tell them all to get
a fucking life. Read the books if you want to but don't try and fucking
justify it by getting all analytical.
Kulrad Hellbar
fetid air and screamed:
> Shop at Safeway.
Yes, I get my dindins from Safeway, as it's the nearest and cheapest
place to work.
> Impress your colleagues by power swearing in mixed company.
All the time cunt.
> Go out and buy yourself that budgerigar you've always fancied.
> Do the Lottery.
Only the syndicate at work, and only so I'm not the only cunt left at
work when they win.
> Buy a MacDonalds meal, eat it in your car and throw the used packaging
> on the pavement.
I haven't had a MacDonalds in about 2 years, after reading 'Fast Food
Nation'.
> Tell people you don't subscribe to satellite TV because you don't
> watch enough telly.
I actually don't watch enough telly. I've got Telewest cable TV and I'm
now on the cheapest £3.50 a month deal, which is all the shit channels
basically. I started with the whole Sky Sports, super duppa subscription
thingy to start with and have worked my way down over the last 4 years.
> Send someone a text message.
Well who hasn't. Even my Nan has sent a txt msg.
> Read Harry Potter books and constantly tell everyone how they're not
> really for kids.
Never read the books, seen the films tho.
> Breed budgerigars.
Mrs Kullrads Dad breed racing pigeons. It's not quite as dull as you may
think.
> Watch Big Brother.
Sometimes.
So, to recap, slight twatish tendencies
--
Kullrad (14)
UKSF Best New Poster 2003
There's going to be knives!
Osbourne Ruddock
> "Tommo ³" <tommocube...@dialstart.net> wrote in message
<snip>
>> Vote in a Big Brother eviction.
>> Play Cricket at County level.
>>
>
> I got three out of all of those, I'm on my way to becoming a proper
> twat.
You played cricket at county level Morph? Impressed!
--
Cheers Os
Stay glued to your TV set, ah hah
Osbourne Ruddock
@uni-berlin.de:
>
> "Tommo ³" <tommocube...@dialstart.net> wrote in message
> news:JaadnXRSc7A...@brightview.com...
>> Shop at Safeway.
<snip>
> Did it for a while when it first began.
>
>
>> Install a novelty ring tone on your mobile phone. Set the ring volume
to
>> "high".
>
>
> Technically I do this, I guess.
>
Yep, my polyphonic "ring ring" sound fucks with their minds every time.
Glad Nokia thought of it, clever twats.
Osbourne Ruddock
news:MPG.1b74252aa...@News.Individual.NET:
> On the Fri, 30 Jul 2004 00:20:03 +0100, Tommo ł uttered forth the
> following...
<snip>
> to 5 or 6 adults discussing the last book when it came out as if it
> where fucking Trotsky novel, made me want to stand up and tell them
> all to get a fucking life. Read the books if you want to but don't try
> and fucking justify it by getting all analytical.
>
Right on Strawbs old man. Trotsky was shit at Quidditch but invented a
bizarre early prep team history simply because Stalin showed some form as a
beater. Cunt.
Osbourne Ruddock
news:Xns95366FFB...@130.133.1.4:
> "Tommo ³" <tommocube...@dialstart.net> sucked in a lungful of
> fetid air and screamed:
>
>> Shop at Safeway.
>
> Yes, I get my dindins from Safeway, as it's the nearest and cheapest
> place to work.
What is this Safeway of which you speak?
>
>> Impress your colleagues by power swearing in mixed company.
>
> All the time cunt.
Are you a nun? Well fuck off then you anal warty cunt sucking bollocks
cunts cunt. Ah, ISYP.
>
>> Go out and buy yourself that budgerigar you've always fancied.
>> Do the Lottery.
>
> Only the syndicate at work, and only so I'm not the only cunt left at
> work when they win.
Lotteries are a tax on people who can't count. Ask Ben, he knows the
odds.
>
>> Buy a MacDonalds meal, eat it in your car and throw the used packaging
>> on the pavement.
>
> I haven't had a MacDonalds in about 2 years, after reading 'Fast Food
> Nation'.
I'd never had MacDonalds until I read Fast Food Nation but the book made
me kind of hungry and I've been a regular ever since.
>
>> Send someone a text message.
>
> Well who hasn't. Even my Nan has sent a txt msg.
Hw d y do txt?
>
>> Read Harry Potter books and constantly tell everyone how they're not
>> really for kids.
>
> Never read the books, seen the films tho.
Never seen the books, read the films though.
>
>> Breed budgerigars.
>
> Mrs Kullrads Dad breed racing pigeons. It's not quite as dull as you
may
> think.
>
Yeh, we have a budgie called Max at our house Thommo you cunt. He's one
yrs old, smokes, makes his own pR0n and frightens cats so be off with you
and your twatty twat bollocks.
Joe Horowitz
"Kulrad Hellbar" <kullra...@hotpop.com> wrote in message
news:Xns95366FFB...@130.133.1.4...
> "Tommo ³" <tommocube...@dialstart.net> sucked in a lungful of
> fetid air and screamed:
>
> > Shop at Safeway.
>
> Yes, I get my dindins from Safeway, as it's the nearest and cheapest
> place to work.
No shit, you _work_ at Safeway as well?
Ubertwat.
Joe
--
I've lost my .sig
Kulrad Hellbar
fetid air and screamed:
>> > Shop at Safeway.
>>
>> Yes, I get my dindins from Safeway, as it's the nearest and cheapest
>> place to work.
>
> No shit, you _work_ at Safeway as well?
Yes, Actually, No.
> Ubertwat.
You better believe it.
Joe Horowitz
"Tommo ³" <tommocube...@dialstart.net> wrote in message
news:JaadnXRSc7A...@brightview.com...
> Shop at Safeway.
Waitrose.
> Buy a 10 pack of Grolsch.
12 Stella.
> Develop an interest in budgerigars.
No.
> Enjoy the music of Celine Dion.
Hell no.
> Buy a little England flag for your car window.
No. Not even for my pushbike.
> Turn up for work wearing black shirt, black trousers, and cream coloured
> shoes.
No.
> Drive a Renault Megan.
Don't even drive.
> Buy Inspector Morse series 1 on DVD.
That sounds shit.
> Impress your colleagues by power swearing in mixed company.
I can't swear much at work, or for that matter say anything politically
'incorrect'. Cunts.
> Go out and buy yourself that budgerigar you've always fancied.
No.
> Do the Lottery.
No.
> Buy a MacDonalds meal, eat it in your car and throw the used packaging on
> the pavement.
MacDonalds? Yew.
> Tell people you don't subscribe to satellite TV because you don't watch
> enough telly.
No, I do subscribe to cable and then don't really watch that instead.
> Put a humorous car sticker in the rear window of your Megan. Sexist jokes
> are the funniest.
No. Not even on my pushbike.
> Install a novelty ring tone on your mobile phone. Set the ring volume to
> "high".
I fucking hate mobile phones, as is well documented. Don't have one.
> Buy Heartbeat series 2 on DVD.
That sounds shit.
> Buy a wrestling game for your games console. WWF should do the trick.
No, I've only ever played football sims on my console apart from GTA Vice
City.
> Affix your England flag to your new Megan.
No. Not even to my old pushbike.
> Discuss house prices whenever The Atkins Diet can't be wangled into the
> conversation.
I fucking hate diets, all of them, and I'm not the least bit interested in
house prices.
> Send someone a text message.
I fucking hate mobile phones, and I hate people who are constantly sending
text messages. I've seen staff at work sending a text with one hand while
carrying some food to a table with the other, that boiled my blood and it
wasn't long before they knew that. They've never done it since. Cunts.
> Read Harry Potter books and constantly tell everyone how they're not
really
> for kids.
I've neither read the books nor seen the films.
> Breed budgerigars.
No. The nearest I can get to that is that I have frogs in my garden, which
I try to look after a bit and make sure they're happy and the pond is kept
to their liking.
> Talk Business on your mobile phone in a public place. Loudly.
I fucking hate mobile phones and every cunt who has one.
> Wear an fcuk Tshirt.
Fcuk that.
> Buy a Lotto scratch card.
Woohoo!!!1!11!twat!!1!1Shrodinger!!1
I do that very occasionally. I don't like scratching them though, as you've
lost your quid once you do that.
> Watch Big Brother.
Fuck off.
> Subscribe to Sky. No one'll remember what you said, right?
No.
> Show your budgerigars at organised events.
No.
> Vote in a Big Brother eviction.
No.
> Play Cricket at County level.
No.
So, I'm not much of a twat in the eyes of a cubed? Well, that sounds okay
to me.
Ben, OTOH, is clearly some kind of end-of-level twat, someone you have to
defeat once you've beaten up all the normal twats. He should be ashamed of
himself and his twatty, chavcunt ways.
Steve H
<tommocube...@dialstart.net> dribbled :
> Shop at Safeway.
I'd have to go quite a way to find the nearest, so. No.
> Buy a 10 pack of Grolsch.
I may have done in the past.
> Develop an interest in budgerigars.
> Enjoy the music of Celine Dion.
> Buy a little England flag for your car window.
> Turn up for work wearing black shirt, black trousers, and cream
> coloured shoes.
> Drive a Renault Megan.
> Buy Inspector Morse series 1 on DVD.
Heh.
That means, No.
> Impress your colleagues by power swearing in mixed company.
Dosn't everyone?
> Go out and buy yourself that budgerigar you've always fancied.
> Do the Lottery.
Sometimes when i'm feeling lucky and poor. Never fucking works though.
> Buy a MacDonalds meal, eat it in your car and throw the used
> packaging on the pavement.
After reading 'Fast food nation' i don't think i'll ever eat one of
them again.
> Tell people you don't subscribe to satellite TV because you don't
> watch enough telly.
Only Cunts do that.
> Put a humorous car sticker in the rear window of your Megan. Sexist
> jokes are the funniest.
> Install a novelty ring tone on your mobile phone. Set the ring
> volume to "high".
Guilty as charged, i actually use cut down MP3's as my reingtones.
> Buy Heartbeat series 2 on DVD.
> Buy a wrestling game for your games console. WWF should do the
> trick. Affix your England flag to your new Megan.
> Discuss house prices whenever The Atkins Diet can't be wangled into
> the conversation.
> Send someone a text message.
Quite regularly actually.
> Read Harry Potter books and constantly tell everyone how they're not
> really for kids.
Too fucking right.
> Breed budgerigars.
> Talk Business on your mobile phone in a public place. Loudly.
> Wear an fcuk Tshirt.
> Buy a Lotto scratch card.
> Watch Big Brother.
> Subscribe to Sky. No one'll remember what you said, right?
> Show your budgerigars at organised events.
> Vote in a Big Brother eviction.
> Play Cricket at County level.
>
>
Hmm, i seem to be a TommoTwat.
--
Steve
After this, we will see command admirable supermen it placed the
gang of worms to the sword into the very decisive road.
Sid
> Shop at Safeway.
Can't possibly do. Used to shop at Sainsburys when I was staying
in London.
> Buy a 10 pack of Grolsch.
No.
> Develop an interest in budgerigars.
I like birds and animals in general. Does that count?
> Enjoy the music of Celine Dion.
Bah! No.
> Buy a little England flag for your car window.
Why would I do that? :-p
> Turn up for work wearing black shirt, black trousers, and cream coloured
> shoes.
No.
> Drive a Renault Megan.
No.
> Buy Inspector Morse series 1 on DVD.
No.
> Impress your colleagues by power swearing in mixed company.
Hmmm, maybe. Ah, yes.
> Go out and buy yourself that budgerigar you've always fancied.
No.
> Do the Lottery.
No.
> Buy a MacDonalds meal, eat it in your car and throw the used packaging on
> the pavement.
Vegetarian. So, no.
> Tell people you don't subscribe to satellite TV because you don't watch
> enough telly.
No.
> Put a humorous car sticker in the rear window of your Megan. Sexist jokes
> are the funniest.
No.
> Install a novelty ring tone on your mobile phone. Set the ring volume to
> "high".
Don't use ringtones at all. My phone is always on silent.
> Buy Heartbeat series 2 on DVD.
No.
> Buy a wrestling game for your games console. WWF should do the trick.
No.
> Affix your England flag to your new Megan.
No.
> Discuss house prices whenever The Atkins Diet can't be wangled into the
> conversation.
Hmm. I discuss rent once in a while. Not too often though.
> Send someone a text message.
All the time. Sent two while typing this post.
> Read Harry Potter books and constantly tell everyone how they're not really
> for kids.
Yes for the reading bit, no for the second part.
> Breed budgerigars.
No.
> Talk Business on your mobile phone in a public place. Loudly.
Hmm, yes to the talking bit. No to the loud bit.
> Wear an fcuk Tshirt.
No.
> Buy a Lotto scratch card.
No.
> Watch Big Brother.
No.
> Subscribe to Sky. No one'll remember what you said, right?
No.
> Show your budgerigars at organised events.
No.
> Vote in a Big Brother eviction.
No.
> Play Cricket at County level.
Played for my university once. But that's about it.
Sid, mostly "no"s. What was the point of this follow up?
--
s i d at n e r t e dot n e t
http://www.nerte.net
Kulrad Hellbar
screamed:
>> Put a humorous car sticker in the rear window of your Megan. Sexist
>> jokes are the funniest.
>> Install a novelty ring tone on your mobile phone. Set the ring
>> volume to "high".
>
> Guilty as charged, i actually use cut down MP3's as my reingtones.
Me Too Lol!!1111!!!!!11ringring!!11one!11
> Hmm, i seem to be a TommoTwat.
I think we all are TBH.
Apart from that cunt Horowitz.
Tony McChrystal
En art’culo <JaadnXRSc7A...@brightview.com>, "Tommo ³"
<tommocube...@dialstart.net> escribi—:
> Shop at Safeway.
A friend of mine got badly beaten up once on his way home. After the event,
he changed his route home so he would pass by the supermarket. When I asked
him why, he told me "It's the Safeway." (c) Reeves and Mortimer
> Buy a 10 pack of Grolsch.
Not here. I pay 62 cents for a litre of unbranded Spanish beer instead.
Plus, I hate the smug gloaty wanky adverts.
> Develop an interest in budgerigars.
In the words of my American friends here, "I could care less!!11senseless!"
> Enjoy the music of Celine Dion.
Does enjoying burning the music count? She has got a powerful voice, but
then so has international superstar and former Queen of the Cruise Ships
Jane Mcdonald.
> Buy a little England flag for your car window.
That's not twatty, that's cunty to the max!!111
> Turn up for work wearing black shirt, black trousers, and cream coloured
> shoes.
It's tremendously popular here in Spain. What I think even twattier though,
is that Friday was 'dress down day' in my ex-job and the site directors all
used to wear cream chinos, lumberjack shirts and loafers. Every single one
of them.
> Drive a Renault Megan.
Were they in Gran Turismo 2?
> Do the Lottery.
Occasionally.
> Buy a MacDonalds meal, eat it in your car and throw the used packaging on
> the pavement.
Am I the only one who hasn't read Fast Food Nation?
> Put a humorous car sticker in the rear window of your Megan. Sexist jokes
> are the funniest.
It still brings a chuckle to my eye when I think of those weeks I spent as a
child staring at a car sticker that had "Don't let the bastards grind you
down" written on it in Latin and English
> Install a novelty ring tone on your mobile phone. Set the ring volume to
> "high".
I hate that with all my spiteful heart. The cunty thing is that my phone
doesn't have a simple "ring ring" and I pointblank refuse to pay any cunt
for a ringtone.
> Buy Heartbeat series 2 on DVD.
I missed the Heartbeat boat sadly. I did enjoy Hartbeat with Tony Hart
though, he rocked!!!11morph!1
> Buy a wrestling game for your games console. WWF should do the trick.
Guilty. A moment of madness caused me to buy 'WWF - Sweaty Men in Hotpants'.
After ten minutes, the awful truth dawned on me that the Create-a-Wrestler
mode was a lot more enjoyable than the unresponsive, shallow pile of rotten
beans that was the game.
> Discuss house prices whenever The Atkins Diet can't be wangled into the
> conversation.
Ah yes, dinnertimes in the canteen. In the queue, every single woman would
state quite loudly that they were on the Atkins diet and that chips were
unacceptable. Then we'd spend the next 50 minutes talking about how much
weight had been lost, how they were a bit worried that they were going into
ketosis all the time, that they hadn't shat for 2 weeks and how they
insisted that they didn't miss bread or chips, despite the fact they were
drooling at my plate laden with all manner of carbs.
> Send someone a text message.
Yo soy un twat.
> Read Harry Potter books and constantly tell everyone how they're not really
> for kids.
Never read 'em, never will. Give me Roald Dahl any day over JK Rowling.
> Breed budgerigars.
The funny thing was, he hadn't even seen a budgerigar.
> Talk Business on your mobile phone in a public place. Loudly.
BA Executive lounges are quite hilarious for this.
> Wear an fcuk Tshirt.
Nope.
> Buy a Lotto scratch card.
Never have.
> Watch Big Brother.
I heard that people had sex in this year's edition. I mean, ffs, what is
this world coming to when people are titilated by the sight of twitching
feet. If you want to see people shag, there's no better place than
t'internet.
> Vote in a Big Brother eviction.
Yeah! All the time!!1125p!per!message!11one
Joe Horowitz
>
> Me Too Lol!!1111!!!!!11ringring!!11one!11
Ringtones don't suck any horsecock at all, ever. Every mobile phone in the
world is shit. People who own mobile phones are all cunts. People who use
them are even worse.
Talking on the telephone is the worst form of communication ever invented,
or at least it was, until talking on a _mobile_ telephone came along.
I hope you all die soon, from brain cancer.
> > Hmm, i seem to be a TommoTwat.
> I think we all are TBH.
>
> Apart from that cunt Horowitz.
My conscience is clear, you phone-wielding fucktard. How about you go txt
yr m8s or somesuch cuntwank, then download the new Usher record and have
that as your ringtone. You'll like that.
Cunts.
Steve H
<jh007...@blueNOSPAMyonder.co.uk> dribbled :
>
> My conscience is clear, you phone-wielding fucktard. How about you
> go txt yr m8s or somesuch cuntwank, then download the new Usher
> record and have that as your ringtone. You'll like that.
>
> Cunts.
>
Nah, that'd be shit.
Greedy G
Shop at Safeway.
Asda
Buy a 10 pack of Grolsch.
6 bottles of Newcastle Brown or 8 cans of Stella
Develop an interest in budgerigars.
Not allowed pets
Enjoy the music of Celine Dion.
Wait til November, take thousands of Celine Dion CDs, put them in a big
fucking pile, stick Celine herself on top, add flammable liquid and a flame,
stick some fucking potatoes in tin foil around the edge = enjoyment from the
music of Celine Dion.
Buy a little England flag for your car window.
I don't have a car and I'm Scottish.
Turn up for work wearing black shirt, black trousers, and cream coloured
shoes.
I wear a t-shirt and jeans when I work, unless it's a posh do like a wedding
or summat - then I turn up starkers....
Drive a Renault Megan.
I have a Vespa.
Buy Inspector Morse series 1 on DVD.
Er......no. Is Kill Bill Pt 2 out yet?
Impress your colleagues by power swearing in mixed company.
My fellow DJs are swearier cunts than I am.
Go out and buy yourself that budgerigar you've always fancied.
If I was allowed pets I'd buy a Rottweiler.
Do the Lottery.
Do it occasionally.
Buy a MacDonalds meal, eat it in your car and throw the used packaging on
the pavement.
McDonalds are shit. Give me a kebab or a pizza anyday.
Tell people you don't subscribe to satellite TV because you don't watch
enough telly.
I've got the full SKY package = £30 a month.
Put a humorous car sticker in the rear window of your Megan. Sexist jokes
are the funniest.
See above - and I don't have a stupid fucking flag on a pole on the Vespa
either.
Install a novelty ring tone on your mobile phone. Set the ring volume to
"high".
Guilty, I have "Get Up Stand Up" by Bob Marley as a ringtone.
Buy Heartbeat series 2 on DVD.
Is Kill Bill pt.2 out yet?
Buy a wrestling game for your games console. WWF should do the trick.
Don't have a console anymore, used to play footy games and RPGs on it. Now
play old school arcade games on an emulator on my PC.
Affix your England flag to your new Megan.
Fuck off you Sassenach cunt.
Discuss house prices whenever The Atkins Diet can't be wangled into the
conversation.
I don't own my house and the only way to get me on a diet is to glue my
fucking lips shut.
Send someone a text message.
Send lots, keep getting the same one back, something about restraining
orders and a new bloke.....
Read Harry Potter books and constantly tell everyone how they're not really
for kids.
I read Razzle and Viz.
Breed budgerigars.
Can I breed canaries instead? So the little cunts can tweet like fuck when
I've left the gas on.
Talk Business on your mobile phone in a public place. Loudly.
Sometimes in a club.
Wear an fcuk Tshirt.
They don't do them in 2XL fat cunt size.
Buy a Lotto scratch card.
Never bought one.
Watch Big Brother.
Don't watch it but some cunt is always talking about it in the pub.
Subscribe to Sky. No one'll remember what you said, right?
Got the full package, music channels, the lot,
Show your budgerigars at organised events.
No.
Vote in a Big Brother eviction.
Can I vote to cancel the programme?
Play Cricket at County level.
Played in the rugby team second XI at school.
G
Allen Parkes
<snip>
> I got three out of all of those, I'm on my way to becoming a proper
> twat.
If we include "poor snipping" on the list, you'll have 4.
--
Al
" i used one trousers on this action, beckham is clearly to blame!"
- Segu.
Allen Parkes
> "Tommo ł" <tommocube...@dialstart.net> sucked in a lungful of
> fetid air and screamed:
>> Send someone a text message.
>
> Well who hasn't. Even my Nan has sent a txt msg.
I've been meaning to talk to you about that. Next time you go round, any
chance you can delete my number from her phone? It was fun for a while but
she's getting kind of obsessive now.
TIA
Allen Parkes
> Breed budgerigars.
>
> Can I breed canaries instead? So the little cunts can tweet like fuck
> when I've left the gas on.
Man, you'd make a crap miner.
Now sort your formatting out.
Allen Parkes
> Shop at Safeway.
Only as it's the most local supply of Green & Black's.
> Buy a wrestling game for your games console. WWF should do the trick.
I can't convince you that it's actually pretty fun on multiplayer mode then?
What about that I'm nerdy enough to have created a load of my mates on it?
> Send someone a text message.
Text messaging is the Work of The Devil. How often must I say it 'til
someone hears me?
The rest is pretty cunty, tbh.
Greedy G
"Allen Parkes" <forename...@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message
news:2mvcfdF...@uni-berlin.de...
> Greedy G wrote:
> > Breed budgerigars.
> >
> > Can I breed canaries instead? So the little cunts can tweet like fuck
> > when I've left the gas on.
>
> Man, you'd make a crap miner.
>
> Now sort your formatting out.
After I turn the fucking gas off. And have this spliff.
Fuck.........
G
Greedy G
> > Breed budgerigars.
> >
> > Can I breed canaries instead? So the little cunts can tweet like fuck
> > when I've left the gas on.
>
> Man, you'd make a crap miner.
I wanted fucking canaries, not mynahs.
G
Joe Horowitz
> Text messaging is the Work of The Devil. How often must I say it 'til
> someone hears me?
You might get through to these cunts quicker if you sent them a txt, Allen.
Robert Poleson
said:
>
> "Kulrad Hellbar" <kullra...@hotpop.com> wrote in message
> news:Xns9536B04C...@130.133.1.4...
> > Steve H <steve...@ntlworld.com> sucked in a lungful of fetid air and
> > screamed:
> > > Guilty as charged, i actually use cut down MP3's as my reingtones.
> >
> > Me Too Lol!!1111!!!!!11ringring!!11one!11
>
> Ringtones don't suck any horsecock at all, ever. Every mobile phone in the
> world is shit. People who own mobile phones are all cunts. People who use
> them are even worse.
>
> Talking on the telephone is the worst form of communication ever invented,
> or at least it was, until talking on a _mobile_ telephone came along.
>
> I hope you all die soon, from brain cancer.
>
Are you trying to say you don't want me to call you again?
*sniffle*
--
rob at rjp.clara.net
Dope will get you through times of no money
better than money will get you through times
of no dope.
Robert Poleson
said:
> "Tommo ³" <tommocube...@dialstart.net> sucked in a lungful of
> fetid air and screamed:
>
> > Shop at Safeway.
>
> Yes, I get my dindins from Safeway, as it's the nearest and cheapest
> place to work.
>
You have to pay to work at a supermarket?/?!?1!unemployablecunt!
1
> > Impress your colleagues by power swearing in mixed company.
>
> All the time cunt.
>
My colleagues actually swear to try to impress me.
Kulrad Hellbar
>> > Shop at Safeway.
>>
>> Yes, I get my dindins from Safeway, as it's the nearest and cheapest
>> place to work.
>>
>
> You have to pay to work at a supermarket?/?!?1!unemployablecunt!
> 1
No, no, no, no, you've all got it wrong. I don't work at Safeway. Safeway
is the nearest place to where I do work, where I can get some lunch.
You bunch of thick cunts.
>> > Impress your colleagues by power swearing in mixed company.
>>
>> All the time cunt.
>>
>
> My colleagues actually swear to try to impress me.
Does it work?
--
Kullrad (14)
UKSF Best New Poster 2003
"I'm going to tear you a new problematic psychosexual conditionhole"
Robert Poleson
said:
> Robert Poleson <s...@m.no> tickled their tummies and meowed
>
> >> > Shop at Safeway.
> >>
> >> Yes, I get my dindins from Safeway, as it's the nearest and cheapest
> >> place to work.
> >>
> >
> > You have to pay to work at a supermarket?/?!?1!unemployablecunt!
> > 1
>
> No, no, no, no, you've all got it wrong. I don't work at Safeway. Safeway
> is the nearest place to where I do work, where I can get some lunch.
>
> You bunch of thick cunts.
>
Is it near to where you work because you're a Safeway employee?
That would make sense. Although why you would want to pay to
work there is beyond me.
> >> > Impress your colleagues by power swearing in mixed company.
> >>
> >> All the time cunt.
> >>
> >
> > My colleagues actually swear to try to impress me.
>
> Does it work?
>
Yes.
Kulrad Hellbar
> Is it near to where you work because you're a Safeway employee?
> That would make sense. Although why you would want to pay to
> work there is beyond me.
Oh, just get fucked, you cunt.
>> >> > Impress your colleagues by power swearing in mixed company.
>> >>
>> >> All the time cunt.
>> >>
>> >
>> > My colleagues actually swear to try to impress me.
>>
>> Does it work?
>>
>
> Yes.
Good.
Robert Poleson
said:
> Robert Poleson <s...@m.no> tickled their tummies and meowed
>
> > Is it near to where you work because you're a Safeway employee?
> > That would make sense. Although why you would want to pay to
> > work there is beyond me.
>
> Oh, just get fucked, you cunt.
>
I have to say I'm quite impressed.
> >> >> > Impress your colleagues by power swearing in mixed company.
> >> >>
> >> >> All the time cunt.
> >> >>
> >> >
> >> > My colleagues actually swear to try to impress me.
> >>
> >> Does it work?
> >>
> >
> > Yes.
>
> Good.
>
Well done. It's easy to see why we've become the hottest
defensive pairing in usenet.
Kulrad Hellbar
>> > Is it near to where you work because you're a Safeway employee?
>> > That would make sense. Although why you would want to pay to
>> > work there is beyond me.
>>
>> Oh, just get fucked, you cunt.
>>
>
> I have to say I'm quite impressed.
I've got some better material than that, but I'm saving it up.
> Well done. It's easy to see why we've become the hottest
> defensive pairing in usenet.
Good point well made Rob, good point well made.
Now fuck off.
Robert Poleson
said:
> Robert Poleson <s...@m.no> tickled their tummies and meowed
>
> >> > Is it near to where you work because you're a Safeway employee?
> >> > That would make sense. Although why you would want to pay to
> >> > work there is beyond me.
> >>
> >> Oh, just get fucked, you cunt.
> >>
> >
> > I have to say I'm quite impressed.
>
> I've got some better material than that, but I'm saving it up.
>
> > Well done. It's easy to see why we've become the hottest
> > defensive pairing in usenet.
>
> Good point well made Rob, good point well made.
>
> Now fuck off.
>
Marvellous. Now, you can stick your swearing up your arse,
cuntface.
Kulrad Hellbar
>> Good point well made Rob, good point well made.
>>
>> Now fuck off.
>>
>
> Marvellous. Now, you can stick your swearing up your arse,
> cuntface.
Beautiful Rob, simply beautiful.
That's brought a tear to my eye, you cunting fucktard.
Tommo ³
> Kulrad Hellbar wrote:
> > "Tommo ³" <tommocube...@dialstart.net> sucked in a lungful of
> > fetid air and screamed:
> >> Send someone a text message.
> >
> > Well who hasn't. Even my Nan has sent a txt msg.
>
> I've been meaning to talk to you about that. Next time you go round, any
> chance you can delete my number from her phone? It was fun for a while
but
> she's getting kind of obsessive now.
I just set up an auto responder to her incessant "what R U wearing !111!11
lol !112 stuff. Just tell her you've got a gimp mask and an errection, and
she'll be on her way.
Robert Poleson
said:
> Robert Poleson <s...@m.no> tickled their tummies and meowed
>
> >> Good point well made Rob, good point well made.
> >>
> >> Now fuck off.
> >>
> >
> > Marvellous. Now, you can stick your swearing up your arse,
> > cuntface.
>
> Beautiful Rob, simply beautiful.
>
> That's brought a tear to my eye, you cunting fucktard.
>
That's not a bastard tear. Nor is it your fucking eye. You thick
spunk monkey.
Dat
<tommocube...@dialstart.net> wrote:
I suspect the name of the list is a reference to those that respond.
I'm in...
>Buy a 10 pack of Grolsch.
Not on your nelly. But if _you_ do, can I have the swing top bottles?
>Develop an interest in budgerigars.
Bred them as a kidiwinkle. Once saw a wedgetail in a cage (it left a
permanent scar on my forehead but that's another story) and vowed I'd
never ever dream of placing a feathered friend capable of soaring on
winds fair and foul in a cage again.
>Impress your colleagues by power swearing in mixed company.
I like women who swear. I also like feminine women. Therefore it's
best if they curse like a lady.
>Go out and buy yourself that budgerigar you've always fancied.
Eeew, you want to shag a bird!
>Do the Lottery.
But, but I can't win it if I'm not in it.
>Buy a MacDonalds meal, eat it in your car and throw the used packaging on
>the pavement.
I wouldn't do any of the three but surely it's better for the
environment if they only throw the wrapper away.
>Tell people you don't subscribe to satellite TV because you don't watch
>enough telly.
Quite the opposite. I tell folks who'll listen that I don't pay to
watch adverts because I already watch way too much absolute shit on
five channels of free to air bollocks.
>Install a novelty ring tone on your mobile phone. Set the ring volume to
>"high".
What is a mobile phone?
>Send someone a text message.
What is a text message?
>Read Harry Potter books and constantly tell everyone how they're not really
>for kids.
How about watching the movies and thoroughly enjoying being a five
year old for a couple of hours. That's "being" a five year old. No
mention of "in" whatsoever you perverted cunt.
>Breed budgerigars.
Oh, what sort of sick fuck.....erm, disregard.
>Watch Big Brother.
Shit, that's two in a row.
>Show your budgerigars at organised events.
Ah, you're outta luck big boy. That's one step too far. I have however
been told that my cock made an appearance at a pub once. I think they
were lying.
>Play Cricket at County level.
I believe there's a superfluous "at County level" in the above
sentence.
So, taking the budgie thing as one tick, I'm thrice twatted.
--
Dat
Dat
<jh007...@blueNOSPAMyonder.co.uk> wrote:
>Talking on the telephone is the worst form of communication ever invented,
>or at least it was, until talking on a _mobile_ telephone came along.
Afuckingmen. This view may or may not have something to do with
spending nine months as a debt collector with Mr Meucci's invention
being the main means of persuasion.
Typical conversation with a mate:
Me: Hey cockbreath.
Him: What?
Me: Snooks....usual time.
Him: Right.
That's it. I've ensured a friend knows I'm still alive, and vice
versa. We've arranged to rendezvous for an evening of my arse getting
spanked on a snooker table, and if either of us have anything more
detailed to convey to each other, then we will do so when we meet.
Female type person I live with, two and a half hours on the phone and
still manages to forget to invite her mates to the weekend's bbq. She
purchased a prepaid mobile for emergencies and took a whole month
before forming the ritual of informing me of her eta five minutes
after leaving work....where there are several perfectly performing
telephones of a more permanent nature which don't cut out every couple
of minutes.
It's madness I tells ya.
--
Dat
Dat
wrote:
> Develop an interest in budgerigars.
>
>Not allowed pets
Trouble with the RSPCA?
--
Dat
Greedy G
"Dat" <dat...@yahoo.co.uk> wrote in message
news:rrkng0dfmb013dese...@4ax.com...
Yeah, I spit-roasted the landlord's daughter with a donkey......
G
cypher
@yahoo.co.uk says...
> On Fri, 30 Jul 2004 16:28:58 GMT, "Joe Horowitz"
>
> >or at least it was, until talking on a _mobile_ telephone came along.
>
> Afuckingmen. This view may or may not have something to do with
> spending nine months as a debt collector with Mr Meucci's invention
> being the main means of persuasion.
No wonder you don't particularly like people, you must've met a cross-
section of desperados and unfortunates. I've had one after me and now I'm
in the position to send one after other people. We had an old fucker
bounce several cheques on us to the tune of $2500, we made sure the girl
got her money but then we had to go to a fucking loanshark and borrow
money to cover the shortfall. I was fucking pissed and wanted the missus
to tell me where the old cunt lived but she didn't think it wise. The guy
we use as muscle I wouldn't want to fuck with at all, he has worked with
my missus for years in the industry and is her buddy, he would fuck me
over if I ever harmed her. This pleases me though, every woman should
have at least two men prepared to wreak vengeance on her behalf. Our debt
collector was exhausting legal means and the old bastard was
prevaricating something dreadful, but the missus was in the bank when she
saw him across the room. She waited outside until he appeared, approached
him and essentially shamed him into following her back into the bank and
handing over the money. Initially he pretended not to recognise her but
without her even mentioning the figured owed he handed over the exact
amount. Some fuckers though, man, that very same night he walked back
into our premises like he hadn't been trying to avoid us for the last
couple of months and booked one of the girls. He pays cash now or talks
to his hand.
> Typical conversation with a mate:
> Me: Hey cockbreath.
> Him: What?
> Me: Snooks....usual time.
> Him: Right.
I have a couple of mates who can yakk on the phone like women, it doesn't
matter how many times you sigh and look for an out the bastards keep
gabbing. There are levels of friendship, real close mates you can cut
short and say `yep...yeah right..7?..ok, now fuck off you got me off the
bog' but there are other mates who need to be almost coddled because they
take rudeness as a personal insult, shit you can say to their face you
can't get away with over the phone.
(snip)
> Female type person I live with, two and a half hours on the phone and
> still manages to forget to invite her mates to the weekend's bbq. She
> purchased a prepaid mobile for emergencies and took a whole month
> before forming the ritual of informing me of her eta five minutes
> after leaving work....where there are several perfectly performing
> telephones of a more permanent nature which don't cut out every couple
> of minutes.
My missus is on the phone all night organising bookings and you'd think
she wouldn't want a bar of the fucking thing when she is at home but
almost every time I walk through the house I can hear her gabbing to
someone on it. Once or twice a month she might ring me from work if she
forgets that I fucking hate talking on the phone but I quickly remind her
I'm against this odious practise.
Answerphones are the worst though, man, my mind goes blank and I blab the
most inane shite and always hang up wondering what the fuck I just said.
--
cypher
dobbin
"cypher" <cyp...@home.com> wrote in message
news:KvXOc.1880957$ef4.2...@news.easynews.com...
<snip lots of sense>
I suspect we have a correlation here.
People who can express themselves incredibly eloquently in writing can't
always do it orally - and vice versa.
I fucking hate phones (mobile or static), cos I'm crap at oral
communication - I'm much more comortable with asynchronous stuff like email,
cos I can make sure I say what I mean without getting interrupted by some
cunt who just shouts louder..
If you ever do any of those shite management theory courses, they'll tell
you how much more you get from body language and intonation than you do from
the words alone. Of course the people running those course are cunts who
don't understand the meaning of words and just like looking at each others
eyes or some such. Also they are crap at picking up intonation in written
communication - there's loads of it in UKSF posts - it'd make a great study
if you were into that sort of thing.
--
dobbin
Kulrad Hellbar
< snip>
I love my mobile, but I wouldn't give you the fucking time of day on a land
line.
> Answerphones are the worst though, man, my mind goes blank and I blab
> the most inane shite and always hang up wondering what the fuck I just
> said.
Got rid of mine. It's only chavs trying to sell me double glazing or some
shit who ring my home phone.
Cunts.
cypher
dob...@donkeyderby.com.nospam says...
>
> "cypher" <cyp...@home.com> wrote in message
> news:KvXOc.1880957$ef4.2...@news.easynews.com...
> <snip lots of sense>
>
> I suspect we have a correlation here.
>
> People who can express themselves incredibly eloquently in writing can't
> always do it orally - and vice versa.
There is validity in what you say, I've read often enough that some
established authors were almost monosyllabic in person.
The trouble is most people don't realize they are fucking boring
conversationalists, I can sense when I have a person's attention and when
I don't, or can feel when I've overstayed my welcome wherever I might be.
Lots of cunts either can't or ignore the signs and if its the latter then
they are pure fucking evil. You will find the people who talk AT you
instead of TO you belong in the PFE category. The second you get that
`pause' in a conversation where protagonists are dredging for something
to say its time to make an excuse and get the fuck out of there.
I don't have many lengthy conversations these days, in fact if I have to
talk to anyone for longer than 5 minutes without some liquid close at
hand I end up coughing my guts out. Even in relationships conversation
becomes less important as time goes by and eventually you converse in
soundbites. There is nothing sad about this, companionable silences are
wonderful.
I know a couple of dudes who lie so blatantly it is entertaining, a cad
would call them on their fibs but I sit back and enjoy the ride, only
interrupting with the right amount of incredulity to keep the forked
tongues flickering. Storytellers of old these bastards, not many of them
around anymore.
> I fucking hate phones (mobile or static), cos I'm crap at oral
> communication - I'm much more comortable with asynchronous stuff like email,
> cos I can make sure I say what I mean without getting interrupted by some
> cunt who just shouts louder..
The phone, bar certain areas of business, is only good for two things,
emergencies and quickly organising a pub meet. And maybe ringing through
a quick phone bet, which could be classed as an emergency of sorts.
It amazes me every time I see some cunt at a football match talking on
the phone to someone, the phone companies have done a remarkable job
convincing fuckers to use their service. As far as texting is concerned,
I had one of our girls send me one once (must've sneaked a look at my
number in the first place, I never give it out) and I told her not to do
so again. It might be a generational thing but it doesn't feel very manly
pecking out a message.
> If you ever do any of those shite management theory courses, they'll tell
> you how much more you get from body language and intonation than you do from
> the words alone. Of course the people running those course are cunts who
> don't understand the meaning of words and just like looking at each others
> eyes or some such. Also they are crap at picking up intonation in written
> communication - there's loads of it in UKSF posts - it'd make a great study
> if you were into that sort of thing.
I'm sure I've mentioned this before but my folks had a nextdoor neighbour
who is a child psychologist who sometimes locked her own kids out of the
house because she couldn't deal with them. Society is rife with these
types across the whole spectrum. I haven't done any management courses
myself but have met enough management types to try and keep them at arms
length whenever I can. Weak shallow men, most of them, but the handful of
good ones I've met were a pleasure to work for.
--
cypher
Serious Tiger
wrote:
>
>Yeah, some of my friends can talk under concrete.
Be fair, Demos - JdS hasn't had much choice lately.
~ST~
--
"His head was alarming large, and growing daily."
Nunn Out.
Paul C
<ben...@depro.co.uk> wrote:
>
>> Install a novelty ring tone on your mobile phone. Set the ring volume to
>> "high".
>
>
Does "The Internationale" count as a novelty ring tone?
--
Paul
Dat
>No wonder you don't particularly like people, you must've met a cross-
>section of desperados and unfortunates.
Yeah, one or two. Most were just people struggling to make ends meet
because they believed all the marketing hype that surrounds them and
couldn't live without the latest and greatest everything, now. As with
many things, I think passing an iq test prior to receiving credit
should be mandatory.
It was a learning experience watching how quickly people who were at
first embarrassed and apologetic when they first heard from you
transformed into accomplished liars as their own well of misery
deepened. It wasn't just a one way street neither. I was well and
truly out of my depth when it came time to contact people I knew.
I was crap at it. Despite the gruff aura I attempted to project, I am
lumbered with a soft heart. That sits ok with me though. I was placed
in the job as punishment for refusing yet another transfer to the
country. I didn't like it at all and had no desire to learn how to
become more efficient at it. I'm only sorry that it took me so long to
find alternate employment before I could tell them what I thought of
their "promotion" path.
> We had an old fucker
>bounce several cheques on us to the tune of $2500
Whoa, that's not the sort of rubber you want to be seeing.
>Answerphones are the worst though, man, my mind goes blank and I blab the
>most inane shite and always hang up wondering what the fuck I just said.
I dread the day when someone uses what I've said on their's against
me.
--
Dat
Dat
<dob...@donkeyderby.com.nospam> wrote:
>I suspect we have a correlation here.
>
>People who can express themselves incredibly eloquently in writing can't
>always do it orally - and vice versa.
And where does that leave me? I can't do either well. All I want to do
is tell everyone to fuck off, nothing complicated. Yet everyone just
assumes I'm joking. Do I look like I'm smiling, I ask ya?
--
Dat
Dat
<demos...@theonering.net> wrote:
>On Mon, 02 Aug 2004 01:48:23 +1000, Dat <dat...@yahoo.co.uk> wrote:
><snip>
>>Do I look like I'm smiling, I ask ya?
>
>No, it's just rigor mortis setting in. Don't worry, JdS always looks
>like that. You'll get used to it eventually.
Oh I'm not the least bit concerned, Demo. The thought of becoming
permanently stiff has raised my pulse already.
--
Dat