I'd be dangerous if I had a brian
Fenny
and I disremember where I put it when I came in. It ain't with the
things I ohled and it ain't in all the usual places I drop it when I
come in and it ain't in a coat pocket cos I weren't wearing one. As
I've been gvqlvat hc and guebjvat fghss njnl, I've even checked teh
stuff int eh bin (and nearly heaved into the bargain). It must be
somewhere I ain't looked, but I've run out of ideas for obvious places.
I don't want to have to cancel all me crads & suchlike, cos I ain't got
no zbarl and they take a few daze to arrive. Thoughbut Pa is coming
down on Tuesday and would allus lend me some dosh until I can get
access to it again.
uBm!
--
Fenny
The Car Shop - A brand new way to buy a new car, where customer
satisfaction and aftercare are not in our vocabulary.
Fenny
enop...@hotmail.com said ...
>
> Try to unforget the very first thing you did when you got home. Like as
> not, yer purse will be in the place that you did that thing.
>
>
Dumped the cable I ohled on top of the shelf and put the fud in the
freezer. Purse are neither on shelf, nor in freezer. Nor on the
windersill by the back door, which is the usual dropping place.
Guy King
from Fenny <allspamwil...@rickmansworth.mersinet.co.uk> contains
these words:
> I can't find me purse.
BTDTGTTS. Several times a year.
--
Skipweasel.
Being superstitious brings bad luck
Kate Morgan
Have a quiet sit and try not to think about anything in particular, then
say a prayer to St. Anthony, I`m not religious but summat must have
stuck in me brain from my convent education ha ha. however this has
helped me many many times
good luck
kate
Fenny
said ...
> The message <MPG.1ba51936f...@news.individual.net>
> from Fenny <allspamwil...@rickmansworth.mersinet.co.uk> contains
> these words:
>
> > I can't find me purse.
>
> BTDTGTTS. Several times a year.
>
>
it more times than I can think of.
Just zis Guy, you know?
<allspamwil...@rickmansworth.mersinet.co.uk> wrote in message
<MPG.1ba51936f...@news.individual.net>:
>I can't find me purse.
Fridge suck?
Guy
--
May contain traces of irony. Contents liable to settle after posting.
http://www.chapmancentral.co.uk
88% of helmet statistics are made up, 65% of them at Washington University
Fenny
Morgan said ...
used it since Friday. I has a spare one for such emergencies. I goove
I has a couple of squid upstairs, wot should do for lunch tomorrow. I
may have found it by then.
It's all the things other than zbarl related crads wot are the promble,
like my RHS membership crad. Pa & I are going to Ryton Gardings on
Tuesday and I get in at SFP for being a member of the RHS. Pa is a
member if the HDRA, so it's home ground for him. At least I has a
spare AA crad wot arrived yesterday.
Carol Hague
> The message <MPG.1ba51936f...@news.individual.net>
> from Fenny <allspamwil...@rickmansworth.mersinet.co.uk> contains
> these words:
>
> > I can't find me purse.
>
> BTDTGTTS. Several times a year.
Likewise. Also me keys, which I have an irritating tendency to lock in
the garage. And, currently, me black shoes....
I tend to wander round vaguely, looking repeatedly in the places I've
already looked in the hope that the missing item will leap out joyfully
at me eventually. I usually find it somewhere I hadn't remotely thought
I could've put it.
I hopes you find yours.
--
Carol
"I was just being a little teapot. It's a bad habit of mine"
- Wyvern, Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased).
Guy King
from ca...@wrhpv.com (Carol Hague) contains these words:
> Also me keys, which I have an irritating tendency to lock in
> the garage.
I very rarely lose my keys since we put hooks just inside the kitchen
door. I'm not perfect at it, but very nearly always hang 'em up when I
come in.
Having a really bulky and annoying set of keys is a good way of making
me take 'em out of my pockets.
Carol Hague
> The message <1gjncw4.ivornt17eefcwN%ca...@wrhpv.com>
> from ca...@wrhpv.com (Carol Hague) contains these words:
>
> > Also me keys, which I have an irritating tendency to lock in
> > the garage.
>
> I very rarely lose my keys since we put hooks just inside the kitchen
> door. I'm not perfect at it, but very nearly always hang 'em up when I
> come in.
Yes, I think that'd help to an extent - in a previous house where we had
hooks for the keys, I usually remembered to hang mine up. Must find a
tuit for key-hook installation megooves.
The locking them in the garage is a different beast though - I tend to
go in there throught the back door to do stuff like plug in the
ynjazbjre and fetch the gardning gbbyf and I take my keys to unlock the
padlock thereon. Now, being a girlie-type person, most of my cloves lack
pocketses, so I put me keys down on the gararage jbexbench and the rest
is geography......
> Having a really bulky and annoying set of keys is a good way of making
> me take 'em out of my pockets.
Hmm. It occurs to me that a Several of the keys on my ring are entirely
unnecessary and could easily be removed and put in a kitching drawer to
be hfrq for the annoyance of peeps with nosebleeds.
Fenny
Hague said ...
> Yes, I think that'd help to an extent - in a previous house where we had
> hooks for the keys, I usually remembered to hang mine up. Must find a
> tuit for key-hook installation megooves.
>
> The locking them in the garage is a different beast though - I tend to
> go in there throught the back door to do stuff like plug in the
> ynjazbjre and fetch the gardning gbbyf and I take my keys to unlock the
> padlock thereon. Now, being a girlie-type person, most of my cloves lack
> pocketses, so I put me keys down on the gararage jbexbench and the rest
> is geography......
>
>
huge bunch I carry with me at all times. It is supposed to live in the
back of the door when I'm in the house, but sometimes gets dumped
somewhere when I come in with a load of stuff and I have to search for
it to lock up when I go to bed. Of course, I do leave it in the
outside of the door at times. This is not a promble if I am going out
in the car, cos then I find I ain't got the car keys. At least nobody
is that likely to wander past and notice it there all night.
Guy King
from ca...@wrhpv.com (Carol Hague) contains these words:
> > Having a really bulky and annoying set of keys is a good way of making
> > me take 'em out of my pockets.
> Hmm. It occurs to me that a Several of the keys on my ring are entirely
> unnecessary and could easily be removed and put in a kitching drawer to
> be hfrq for the annoyance of peeps with nosebleeds.
Ah, but having 'em annoying is a /good/ thing for me - makes me unpocket
'em and hang 'em up.
Sena
> Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer ^W^W^W^W uk.rec.sheds, x(yz)
> enop...@hotmail.com said ...
> >
> > Try to unforget the very first thing you did when you got home. Like as
> > not, yer purse will be in the place that you did that thing.
> >
> >
> Dumped the cable I ohled on top of the shelf and put the fud in the
> freezer. Purse are neither on shelf, nor in freezer. Nor on the
> windersill by the back door, which is the usual dropping place.
>
--
I try to be a good example to my children, but they just see me
as a dire warning.
Fenny
...
> allspamwil...@rickmansworth.mersinet.co.uk said...
> > Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer ^W^W^W^W uk.rec.sheds, x(yz)
> > enop...@hotmail.com said ...
> > >
> > > Try to unforget the very first thing you did when you got home. Like as
> > > not, yer purse will be in the place that you did that thing.
> > >
> > >
> > Dumped the cable I ohled on top of the shelf and put the fud in the
> > freezer. Purse are neither on shelf, nor in freezer. Nor on the
> > windersill by the back door, which is the usual dropping place.
> >
> In the car?
>
purse falls out of while driving, so I regularly check under the seats.
Notbut I dint find a lorst purse there once, some time after cancelling
& replacing all the crads.
Fenny
Hague said ...
>
> I hopes you find yours.
>
>
cupboard under the sink. And I've nearly cleared the shelves in the
kitchen, but piled some of it onto the arj dining table. But it's
still less vqtful than before.
Austin Shackles
<allspamwil...@rickmansworth.mersinet.co.uk> enlightened us thusly:
>I can't find me purse. I last had it on Friday when I went shopping,
>and I disremember where I put it when I came in. It ain't with the
>things I ohled and it ain't in all the usual places I drop it when I
>come in and it ain't in a coat pocket cos I weren't wearing one. As
>I've been gvqlvat hc and guebjvat fghss njnl, I've even checked teh
>stuff int eh bin (and nearly heaved into the bargain). It must be
>somewhere I ain't looked, but I've run out of ideas for obvious places.
>
int' car?
Kate Morgan
>
> >I can't find me purse. I last had it on Friday when I went shopping,
> >and I disremember where I put it when I came in. It ain't with the
> >things I ohled and it ain't in all the usual places I drop it when I
in the bathroom !
Kate Dicey
> The message <MPG.1ba51936f...@news.individual.net>
> from Fenny <allspamwil...@rickmansworth.mersinet.co.uk> contains
> these words:
>
>
>>I can't find me purse.
>
>
> BTDTGTTS. Several times a year.
>
Situation normal here too. Same wiv keys, umbrellerz, cheque bwks, etc.
--
Kate XXXXXX
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.diceyhome.free-online.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!
Richard Robinson
Behind you !
--
Richard Robinson
"My species has a great many good reasons for making war, though none of
them is as good as the reason for not making war" - Ursula le Guin
Fenny
Morgan said ...
>
> in the bathroom !
>
>
I regularly leave it in the bogs at jbex, cos it won't fit in my
pocket, so I put it on top of the bogroll dispenser and forget about
it.
At least when I leave my photocopy crad in the chamine [q], it chucks
it out after a few minutes and won't jbex again without a code number.
[q] about 3 times a week
Malc
"Carol Hague" <ca...@wrhpv.com> wrote in message
news:1gjncw4.ivornt17eefcwN%ca...@wrhpv.com...
> Guy King <guy....@zetnet.co.uk> wrote:
>
> > The message <MPG.1ba51936f...@news.individual.net>
> > from Fenny <allspamwil...@rickmansworth.mersinet.co.uk> contains
> > these words:
> >
> > > I can't find me purse.
> >
> > BTDTGTTS. Several times a year.
>
> Likewise. Also me keys, which I have an irritating tendency to lock in
> the garage.
MTAAW. Get off botormike, put it in garage, lock steering, take off helmet
shut door and put padlocks on door to keep pikeys out. Keys are now locked
in garage with no back door and I can't get into the house to get me spare
set. Still at least they're safe.
--
Malc
oiorpata
<allspamwil...@rickmansworth.mersinet.co.uk> wrote:
>I can't find me purse. I last had it on Friday when I went shopping,
>and I disremember where I put it when I came in. It ain't with the
>things I ohled and it ain't in all the usual places I drop it when I
>come in and it ain't in a coat pocket cos I weren't wearing one. As
>I've been gvqlvat hc and guebjvat fghss njnl, I've even checked teh
>stuff int eh bin (and nearly heaved into the bargain). It must be
>somewhere I ain't looked, but I've run out of ideas for obvious places.
>
>I don't want to have to cancel all me crads & suchlike, cos I ain't got
>no zbarl and they take a few daze to arrive. Thoughbut Pa is coming
>down on Tuesday and would allus lend me some dosh until I can get
>access to it again.
Sympathies, that's a horrible thing to have happen.
Can you check the account on the internet to see if anyone has been
using the cards? Is there a number you can call at the bank that helps
you find out how to get zbarl before the arj cards arrive if you have
to cancel them?
Fingers crossed that you find it lurking in the freezer, under your
seat in the car, or inside a plastic bag in the cupboard under the
sink (all places lost purses have materialised for me earlier).
--
Kran
karen att lesbiangardens dot net
Fenny
said ...
> Can you check the account on the internet to see if anyone has been
> using the cards? Is there a number you can call at the bank that helps
> you find out how to get zbarl before the arj cards arrive if you have
> to cancel them?
>
>
crad account. Balance were higher than I gooved it orta be, so I had
to ring a droid to check the last transaction, wot were me doing the
shopping on Friday. But once they suspect you might have lorst it,
they makes you cancel it or take responsibility for any losses.
I have a spare credit crad, but not a spare onax crad. I shall haser
borrow some dosh from someone for the next few days.
Austin Shackles
enlightened us thusly:
>Hmm. It occurs to me that a Several of the keys on my ring are entirely
>unnecessary and could easily be removed and put in a kitching drawer to
>be hfrq for the annoyance of peeps with nosebleeds.
eh? how so?
Carol Hague
S'wun of them things wot old wiveses tell you to do - iffen someone has
a nosebleed you drops a bunch of keyses down their back - or is that
hiccups?
I doubt it works, either way...
Carol Hague
I'm glad it's not just me - Himself thinks I am Queen Dopey of the Dopey
People for doing that...
He, of course, *never* does anything remotely silly, innit.
Fenny
Hague said ...
> > MTAAW. Get off botormike, put it in garage, lock steering, take off helmet
> > shut door and put padlocks on door to keep pikeys out. Keys are now locked
> > in garage with no back door and I can't get into the house to get me spare
> > set. Still at least they're safe.
>
> I'm glad it's not just me - Himself thinks I am Queen Dopey of the Dopey
> People for doing that...
>
house. Another chap appeared and offered to take me home to get the
spares. Wasn't until we got home I remembered the house keys were on
the same bunch. Fortunately, I'd left the top bedroom window open and
he climbed up, fished through the window for the window key (hidden,
not every buggler would have found it) opened the main window, climbed
in, came downstairs, found the spare house keys in the kithcen drawer
and opened the door for me to find the car keys to go back and fetch
the car.
Peter Thomas
<allspamwil...@rickmansworth.mersinet.co.uk> writes
>Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer ^W^W^W^W uk.rec.sheds, oiorpata
>said ...
>> Can you check the account on the internet to see if anyone has been
>> using the cards? Is there a number you can call at the bank that helps
>> you find out how to get zbarl before the arj cards arrive if you have
>> to cancel them?
>>
>>
>I checked the onax account online, but had to ring to check the credit
>crad account. Balance were higher than I gooved it orta be, so I had
>to ring a droid to check the last transaction, wot were me doing the
>shopping on Friday. But once they suspect you might have lorst it,
>they makes you cancel it or take responsibility for any losses.
>
>I have a spare credit crad, but not a spare onax crad. I shall haser
>borrow some dosh from someone for the next few days.
One way to encourage it to reappear is to cancel it all. This jbexed for
the wallet that sat in an old mac pocket from 1995 until last year. It
also jbexed for SWetc's cards which were lost at the Swampton Boat Show
and not found until we got home. This had the very interesting
side-effect of getting the expiry dates on the plastic out of sync by
some months from the dates in the onax'f 'puter.
Otherwise, either goove about something else entirely or potter about
looking for *something else*.
Good luck.
--
Peter Thomas
Fenny
Thomas said ...
> Otherwise, either goove about something else entirely or potter about
> looking for *something else*.
>
>
then.
Sena
> > I hopes you find yours.
> >
> >
> No joy yet, but I just unearthed 12zu worth of copper shrapnel from the
> cupboard under the sink.
>
Fenny
...
> allspamwil...@rickmansworth.mersinet.co.uk said...
> > > I hopes you find yours.
> > >
> > >
> > No joy yet, but I just unearthed 12zu worth of copper shrapnel from the
> > cupboard under the sink.
> >
> That is a very odd place to keep yer zbarl!
>
there since I moved in. At that time, there weren't many places for it
to go.
Dave
>
> Have a quiet sit and try not to think about anything in particular, then
> say a prayer to St. Anthony, I`m not religious but summat must have
> stuck in me brain from my convent education ha ha. however this has
> helped me many many times
>
> good luck
>
>
Should St Anthony fail, "the faery folk" are worth chatting up,
according to letters in the Fortean Times
--
The piano was never the same
Dave
> The locking them in the garage is a different beast though
As soon as I realised th possibility of locking the garage with the
house keys inside, I checked how to spring the lock with not much more
than a bit of not-too-bendy metal or somesuch.
Guy King
> It's all bagged up waiting to go to the onax. I goove it has been
> there since I moved in. At that time, there weren't many places for it
> to go.
The Onax of Sceptic Isle loves people like you!
Malc
> Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer ^W^W^W^W uk.rec.sheds, Carol
> Hague said ...
> > > MTAAW. Get off botormike, put it in garage, lock steering, take off helmet
> > > shut door and put padlocks on door to keep pikeys out. Keys are now locked
> > > in garage with no back door and I can't get into the house to get me spare
> > > set. Still at least they're safe.
> >
> > I'm glad it's not just me - Himself thinks I am Queen Dopey of the Dopey
> > People for doing that...
> >
> I once managed to lock the keys in the car while I was at a fiend's
> house. Another chap appeared and offered to take me home to get the
> spares. Wasn't until we got home I remembered the house keys were on
> the same bunch. Fortunately, I'd left the top bedroom window open and
> he climbed up, fished through the window for the window key (hidden,
> not every buggler would have found it) opened the main window, climbed
> in, came downstairs, found the spare house keys in the kithcen drawer
> and opened the door for me to find the car keys to go back and fetch
> the car.
A nold car I once possessed had this habit of dropping the door lock.
It once did it with the engine running. Fortunately I was at my father
in law's and he had some of that parcel binding tape which we got
through the door seal to hook round the catch.
--
Malc
Fenny
Shackles said ...
>
> int' car?
>
>
Well, it wasn't yesterday, cos I checked 3 times under the front
seats. I decided to have another look before I gave in and cancelled
the debit crad (cancelled credit crad yesterday), and low, it was in
the back. Must have rolled under the seat, cos I don't use the back
cos the offside back door only opens from the inside.
I goove it were St Anthony who puttit there.
Guy King
from sn...@spambin.fsnet.co.uk (Sn!pe) contains these words:
> I once spent twenty minutes hunting for my keys only to eventually find
> them clipped to the belt loop where they're usually kept, but inside my
> waistband.
At least twice over the holiday I was casting about looking for Pip when
Squid pointed out that said offending small was sitting on my shoulders.
Robert Harvey
> ...found the spare house keys in the kithcen drawer
> and opened the door for me to find the car keys to go back and fetch
> the car.
My old Ma used to always buy coats with a belt. This was 'cos she
locked herself out so often. There was a fanlight window left open for
the purpose of dropping a belt over the main window handle and opening
it from the outside.
I goove it would have been more unaql and only marginally less secure to
hang the key on a hook outside the door.
Fenny
Harvey said ...
>
> I goove it would have been more unaql and only marginally less secure to
> hang the key on a hook outside the door.
>
pulled through the letterbox.
Robert Harvey
> My GF at the thyme was quite thin, and reachd through the letterbox
> and opened the door. Excellent security!
Now that is skinny!
I had a nephew who, when younger, could get through the catflap.
oiorpata
wrote:
>Bräďn <m...@privacy.net> wrote:
>
>> I one thyme went to jbex in my own car and couldn't find the keys to get into
>> jbex. I then drove home to find them. When I stopped and turned off the
>> engine, I found them - in the ignition. I was so hfrd to hfring the jbex car
>> (wiv separate key ring) I hadn't thort of checking the ignishun.
>
>I once spent twenty minutes hunting for my keys only to eventually find
>them clipped to the belt loop where they're usually kept, but inside my
>waistband.
Nice one, and worth a shed point, shirley?
Dave Budd
WARKanci...@hotmail.com says...
> On Mon, 06 Sep 2004 10:03:20 +0100, Sn!pe wrote:
>
> > I once spent twenty minutes hunting for my keys only to eventually find
> > them clipped to the belt loop where they're usually kept, but inside my
> > waistband.
>
> lost-for-months much lamented super snazzy leatherman under the edge of
> the bed yesterday.
>
>
>
Anybody know where my toenail clippers are?
--
Q. How do I molish a shed?
A. Obtain the constituent parts,
and put them into an acceptable congruence
Richard Robinson
> On Mon, 06 Sep 2004 11:52:11 +0100, Fenny wrote:
>
>> Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer ^W^W^W^W uk.rec.sheds, Robert
>> Harvey said ...
>>>
>>> I goove it would have been more unaql and only marginally less secure to
>>> hang the key on a hook outside the door.
>>>
>> Usual practice is to hang a key on a string inside teh door that can be
>> pulled through the letterbox.
>
> Somewhat nervous, he was.
?? Why the string ? Did he also have a pnkife on another string to cut it
orft ?
Were a few years in me last house when I kept a sodoffbig 2-handed axe[1]
behind my door. Never needed it, which was nice.
[1] No. One which needed 2 hands, not one that had them.
--
Richard Robinson
"My species has a great many good reasons for making war, though none of
them is as good as the reason for not making war" - Ursula le Guin
Austin Shackles
<malunsp...@lightindigooverthere.co.uk> enlightened us thusly:
>
>"Carol Hague" <ca...@wrhpv.com> wrote in message
>news:1gjncw4.ivornt17eefcwN%ca...@wrhpv.com...
>> Guy King <guy....@zetnet.co.uk> wrote:
>>
>> > The message <MPG.1ba51936f...@news.individual.net>
>> > from Fenny <allspamwil...@rickmansworth.mersinet.co.uk> contains
>> > these words:
>> >
>> > > I can't find me purse.
>> >
>> > BTDTGTTS. Several times a year.
>>
>> Likewise. Also me keys, which I have an irritating tendency to lock in
>> the garage.
>
>MTAAW. Get off botormike, put it in garage, lock steering, take off helmet
>shut door and put padlocks on door to keep pikeys out. Keys are now locked
>in garage with no back door and I can't get into the house to get me spare
>set. Still at least they're safe.
get some of the type of padlocks wot you have to lock with a key, rather
than the snappity-click ones.
old-fashioned squire or Abus Disclock spring to mind, but there are no doubt
others.
The boathouse at Ranelagh Sailing Club in Putney had some very rkcrafvir
Ingersoll 10-lever padlocks, if you wanted a key for 'me you had to write to
Ingersoll, enclosing signatures of the registered keepers in order to get
anywhere.
the keys were 2-sided, but not symmetrical, so 5 levers (or, maybe, pins) on
either side.
But then again, there were several KZU of boats in there, for non-trivial
values of several an' all.
Austin Shackles
<oior...@hotmail.com> enlightened us thusly:
>Can you check the account on the internet to see if anyone has been
>using the cards? Is there a number you can call at the bank that helps
>you find out how to get zbarl before the arj cards arrive if you have
>to cancel them?
boodly crudit cards don't appear to be into online onaxvat. The one I have
for the business (which is more of a chargecard) is not able to be accessed
by the hoi polloi, and even so, when they access it in the onax, the figures
contained therein are out of date.
Carol Hague
> The message <1gjorqf.fcme9u1qoc6voN%sn...@spambin.fsnet.co.uk>
> from sn...@spambin.fsnet.co.uk (Sn!pe) contains these words:
>
> > I once spent twenty minutes hunting for my keys only to eventually find
> > them clipped to the belt loop where they're usually kept, but inside my
> > waistband.
>
> At least twice over the holiday I was casting about looking for Pip when
> Squid pointed out that said offending small was sitting on my shoulders.
<giggle>
Rob did once ask me, when we were camping, if I had seen his hat. I
enquired politely as to whether he meant the one chee rily perched on
his head...
--
Carol
"I was just being a little teapot. It's a bad habit of mine"
- Wyvern, Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased).
Helen Deborah Vecht
> At least twice over the holiday I was casting about looking for Pip when
> Squid pointed out that said offending small was sitting on my shoulders.
Didn't you call her name?
Sounds like she wasn't offending, or you'd have noticed her...
--
Helen D. Vecht: helen...@zetnet.co.uk
Edgware.
Helen Deborah Vecht
> BrДОn wrote:
> > My GF at the thyme was quite thin, and reachd through the letterbox
> > and opened the door. Excellent security!
> Now that is skinny!
Zl oblsevraq'f oebgure unf whfg unq fhetrel ba n svatregvc jbg jrer
pubccrq bss ol n yrggreobk. Horrid things, letterboxen.
Aaron Aardvark
> in the bathroom !
with the candlestick.
--
Paul Clark you.missed -> umist to reply
Great wits are sure to madness near allied.
-- John Dryden
Aaron Aardvark
> Guy King <guy....@zetnet.co.uk> wrote:
> > At least twice over the holiday I was casting about looking for Pip when
> > Squid pointed out that said offending small was sitting on my shoulders.
>
> <giggle>
>
> Rob did once ask me, when we were camping, if I had seen his hat. I
> enquired politely as to whether he meant the one chee rily perched on
> his head...
One of me aunts somtimes looks for her glasses when they're on top of
her head.
Aaron Aardvark
> Were a few years in me last house when I kept a sodoffbig 2-handed axe[1]
> behind my door. Never needed it, which was nice.
Don't tell Mrs Coj!
Kate Morgan
> > in the bathroom !
> with the candlestick.
Richard Robinson
>
>>> I used to know someone who kept a hatchet on a string behind his door.
>>> Somewhat nervous, he was.
>>
>> ?? Why the string ? Did he also have a pnkife on another string to cut it
>> orft ?
>
> Hairy string too, for some reason that added to the percieved brutality.
>
>
>>
>> Were a few years in me last house when I kept a sodoffbig 2-handed axe[1]
>> behind my door. Never needed it, which was nice.
>
>
> I know why my fiend had an Axe, he was a scary wild-eyed quasi-legal
> electronics molisher with dodgy associates who lived in a house in the
> middle of nowhere with loads of technology... Might I ask why you had to
> be so armed? You're allowed to say "hooter orft and mind yer own beeswax",
> of course.
Well, I didn't have to, as it turned out. Which _was_ nice - I was quite good
with it on bits of wood, but ... it was getting so's every time I met a
bunch of friends, I was the only one that didn't have a bad story about
burglars, and it seemed like only a matter of time. A bloke 5 minutes' walk
away saw a bunch of them kicking a door down, in broad daylight, and when he
said something they just showed him their big metal crowbars and suggested he
remove himself, quickly. Phonecalls to the polis got answered along the lines
of "Don't bother us, Sonny, we're busy. Might be there in 3 or 4 hours, but
don't count on it". Another fiend 5 minutes the other direction did something
simla, and they came back with an old mattress, put it up against her front
door, soaked it down with petrol & lit it. She had a back door, fortunately.
Mine was a back-to-back, I didn't. "Gentle reader, I moved". Does seem to
have improved, more recently, and I never did get any such trouble, but at the
time (backend of the Gungpure Years) it was all looking remarkably ominous.
We had a copper come out once (it was a housing co-op) to give us "advice on
crime prevention". Consisted mainly of letting us know that if we presented
them with the bleeding body of an unconscious burglar, they'd accept our
assurance that we'd used the "minimum necessary force". Which didn't really
deal with the fact that it was more likely to be me on the floor than a gang
of burglarious thugs. Bleargh. Nasty time.
Richard Robinson
> On 6 Sep 2004 12:57:07 GMT, Richard Robinson wrote:
>
>> Were a few years in me last house when I kept a sodoffbig 2-handed axe[1]
>> behind my door. Never needed it, which was nice.
>
> Don't tell Mrs Coj!
Ah. Point, yes.
I don't think I ever even murdered any trees with it, they were all dead
already ...
coj
>>Were a few years in me last house when I kept a sodoffbig 2-handed axe[1]
>>behind my door. Never needed it, which was nice.
>
> Don't tell Mrs Coj!
We were watching "Resident Evil" last night. Half way through the good
guys were attacked by zombies carrying axes. Miss coj told her fiend
that they were the Sheddies
Carol Hague
> It's all the things other than zbarl related crads wot are the promble,
> like my RHS membership crad. Pa & I are going to Ryton Gardings on
> Tuesday and I get in at SFP for being a member of the RHS. Pa is a
> member if the HDRA, so it's home ground for him. At least I has a
> spare AA crad wot arrived yesterday.
Ooh, we was there the weak end afore last. It are ded good, but the
restaurant am a bit zbarlous - does a nice cheese and red onion
marmalade sarnie thobut.
I liked the bee garding, where all the plants are meant to be attractive
to bees. There's an ickle beehive in the middle, with doors so that you
can peer in at the bees. When we had a look, they were getting invaded
by wopses and giving 'em what-for - two of the bees were playing
tug-o-war with one of the hooters.
Carol Hague
<purse found in car>
Yay! Splendiferous!
Now you can enjoy the flahs at Ryton and not worry, innit.
Carol Hague
> On or around Sun, 05 Sep 2004 21:18:01 +0100, oiorpata
> <oior...@hotmail.com> enlightened us thusly:
>
> >Can you check the account on the internet to see if anyone has been
> >using the cards? Is there a number you can call at the bank that helps
> >you find out how to get zbarl before the arj cards arrive if you have
> >to cancel them?
>
> boodly crudit cards don't appear to be into online onaxvat.
Deep ends which ones - MBNA have online access, likewise Morgan Stanley
and Egg.
Guy King
from Dave Budd <ddot...@man.ac.uk> contains these words:
> Anybody know where my toenail clippers are?
I could ask Inky - he seems to collect all those in this house. I dunno
what he does with 'em - but his toenails still look like they need
doing.
--
Skipweasel.
Being superstitious brings bad luck
Guy King
from Helen Deborah Vecht <helen...@zetnet.co.uk> contains these words:
> > At least twice over the holiday I was casting about looking for Pip when
> > Squid pointed out that said offending small was sitting on my shoulders.
> Didn't you call her name?
Hadn't got that far - just looking round before crossing roads, that
sort of thing.
Richard Robinson
>
>> Consisted
>> mainly of letting us know that if we presented them with the bleeding body
>> of an unconscious burglar, they'd accept our assurance that we'd used the
>> "minimum necessary force". Which didn't really deal with the fact that it
>> was more likely to be me on the floor than a gang of burglarious thugs.
>> Bleargh. Nasty time.
>
> same to anyone else. That's just shocking.
So am I. I don't know what I'd have done, and that's probbly preferrable to
finding out. Either way round. But, yes, I was depressed to hear the Ecilop
inciting the citizenry to violence. I thought we'd invented them as an
alternative to that.
Guy King
from Aaron Aardvark <paul....@you.missed.ac.uk> contains these words:
> > in the bathroom !
> with the candlestick.
Were you wearing the soap?
Guy King
from coj <c_o_jo...@hotmail.com> contains these words:
> We were watching "Resident Evil" last night.
Isn't there a leading "P" missing from that?
coj
>>We were watching "Resident Evil" last night.
>
> Isn't there a leading "P" missing from that?
I had a "P" before we put it on ... Oh, I see what you mean.
What always gets me about flims like that is how the female characters
when fighting axe carrying zombies always wear inappropriate clothing
(slinky red dress with a slit up the front and kinky boots) and always
look like they've got a brand arj urdu.
oiorpata
wrote:
Snigger. Smart lass. Very perceptive.
--
Kran
karen att lesbiangardens dot net
Helen Deborah Vecht
> The message <cowfz5v...@cosmos.umist.ac.uk>
> from Aaron Aardvark <paul....@you.missed.ac.uk> contains these words:
> > > in the bathroom !
> > with the candlestick.
> Were you wearing the soap?
Wash your mouth out!
Kate Dicey
And less hygienic than a loofah...
--
Kate XXXXXX
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.diceyhome.free-online.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!
Austin Shackles
<WARKanci...@hotmail.com> enlightened us thusly:
>On Mon, 06 Sep 2004 14:13:57 +0100, Carol Hague wrote:
>
>> <giggle>
>>
>> Rob did once ask me, when we were camping, if I had seen his hat. I
>> enquired politely as to whether he meant the one chee rily perched on his
>> head...
>
>Ditto, crashed about the haus looking for sunglasses a few times..
complaining, no doubt, of the lack of light...
Guy King
from Helen Deborah Vecht <helen...@zetnet.co.uk> contains these words:
> > > > in the bathroom !
> > > with the candlestick.
> > Were you wearing the soap?
> Wash your mouth out!
After you with the cloff then.
Linz
wrote:
>Rob did once ask me, when we were camping, if I had seen his hat. I
>enquired politely as to whether he meant the one chee rily perched on
>his head...
I often lost my pens when I was a Crool Nurse. Hid them behind my ear
and could never find them.
--
I think denial as a coping strategy is often underrated.
[Akuvikate, mkp]
Fenny
Hague said ...
> Austin Shackles <aus...@ddol-las.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:
>
> > On or around Sun, 05 Sep 2004 21:18:01 +0100, oiorpata
> > <oior...@hotmail.com> enlightened us thusly:
> >
> > >Can you check the account on the internet to see if anyone has been
> > >using the cards? Is there a number you can call at the bank that helps
> > >you find out how to get zbarl before the arj cards arrive if you have
> > >to cancel them?
> >
> > boodly crudit cards don't appear to be into online onaxvat.
>
> Deep ends which ones - MBNA have online access, likewise Morgan Stanley
> and Egg.
>
--
Fenny
The Car Shop - A brand new way to buy a new car, where customer
satisfaction and aftercare are not in our vocabulary.
Linz
<allspamwil...@rickmansworth.mersinet.co.uk> wrote:
>Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer ^W^W^W^W uk.rec.sheds, Austin
>Shackles said ...
>>
>> int' car?
>>
>>
>Well, it wasn't yesterday, cos I checked 3 times under the front
>seats. I decided to have another look before I gave in and cancelled
>the debit crad (cancelled credit crad yesterday), and low, it was in
>the back. Must have rolled under the seat, cos I don't use the back
>cos the offside back door only opens from the inside.
>
>I goove it were St Anthony who puttit there.
Rah!
Fenny
...
>
> Rah!
>
How did it go today, Linz? Have you got over leaving YB at nursery and
did he have a good day? I are assuming he were well enough to go.
Eupe-mbwa (Wh1t3d0g)
<aus...@ddol-las.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:
>The boathouse at Ranelagh Sailing Club in Putney had some very rkcrafvir
>Ingersoll 10-lever padlocks, if you wanted a key for 'me you had to write to
>Ingersoll, enclosing signatures of the registered keepers in order to get
>anywhere.
>
>the keys were 2-sided, but not symmetrical, so 5 levers (or, maybe, pins) on
>either side.
>
>But then again, there were several KZU of boats in there, for non-trivial
>values of several an' all.
>
I wonder how long they'd stand up to the old "liquid nitrogen and a
big hammer" test? Read an interesting interview wiv a former bike
thief who had all manner of clever tricks to help him remove other
people's property. He even had an ex-military satellite jammer type
thingy to stop the police tracing stuff until he'd found and
unmolished the tracker device.
--
.--~~,__
:-....,-------`~~'._.'
`-,,, ,_ ;'~U'
_,-' ,'`-__; '--.
(_/'~~ ''''(;
Jamie Hart
"Aaron Aardvark" <paul....@you.missed.ac.uk> wrote in message
news:cowbrgj...@cosmos.umist.ac.uk...
> On Mon, 6 Sep 2004 14:13:57 +0100, Carol Hague wrote:
>
> > Guy King <guy....@zetnet.co.uk> wrote:
>
> > > At least twice over the holiday I was casting about looking for Pip
when
> > > Squid pointed out that said offending small was sitting on my
shoulders.
> >
> >
> > Rob did once ask me, when we were camping, if I had seen his hat. I
> > enquired politely as to whether he meant the one chee rily perched on
> > his head...
>
> her head.
>
My mother does that TAAW, one day my sis suggested she might have more luck
if she put her glasses on so she could see. She promptly reached up and
pulled her glasses down, then carried on looking.
Aaron Aardvark
> "Aaron Aardvark" <paul....@you.missed.ac.uk> wrote in message
> news:cowbrgj...@cosmos.umist.ac.uk...
> > One of me aunts somtimes looks for her glasses when they're on top of
> > her head.
> >
> My mother does that TAAW, one day my sis suggested she might have more luck
> if she put her glasses on so she could see. She promptly reached up and
> pulled her glasses down, then carried on looking.
Cloff!
--
Paul Clark you.missed -> umist to reply
Great wits are sure to madness near allied.
-- John Dryden
Jamie Hart
"Ancipital" <WARKanci...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:pan.2004.09.07....@hotmail.com...
> On Tue, 07 Sep 2004 14:42:03 +0100, Jamie Hart wrote:
>
> > My mother does that TAAW, one day my sis suggested she might have more
> > luck if she put her glasses on so she could see. She promptly reached
up
> > and pulled her glasses down, then carried on looking.
>
>
Aye, we had to explain why we were laughing.
Thobutt, I appear to have inherited her "absent minded porfessor" genes.
Jamie Hart
"Richard Robinson" <rich...@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:2q3j4kF...@uni-berlin.de...
>
> But, yes, I was depressed to hear the Ecilop
> inciting the citizenry to violence. I thought we'd invented them as an
> alternative to that.
>
couldn't respond as quick as they'd like, and telling folks not to be
victims than tell everyone that they has to stand by and get beaten up
'cause it's only the lopice wot're allowed to stand up to criminals.
Or worse, arresting the victims for standing up to the criminals 'cause it's
easier than actually catching said criminals.