The Buggrance Factor

[canaldrifter]

Wot is it that makes things happen like this. Got freeby comp. press
weekend tickets for Beverley Folk Festival Thursday to Sunday. Just bin
out to check the mobile shedd and the flatteries are bat. Both of them,
domestic and starterer.

I have to park it close to a fence to stop the kids climbing up the
ladderer and now I can't get to the batteries to jump start it. It's too
heavy to push.

Aaaaaaargh!!!!!

In't mornin' I'm gonna have to buy some HD jump leads and jump it off
the car straight on to the starter terminals. Dodgy!

Either that or rig a very very long extension lead from our dining area
to the van for a hook-up and let it charge, if they'll let me.

And why did it go flat any road up? Never has before, not even over
months. Something left switched on, but what? Snot lights.

Oh for a pony and a gypsy caravan.

Tone

[Skipweasel]

On Wed, 17 Jun 2015 21:02:51 +0100, canaldrifter wrote:

> Either that or rig a very very long extension lead from our dining area
> to the van for a hook-up and let it charge, if they'll let me.

Ah, I used to have that promble when I had a fleet of minibusen. Drivers
would park them facing the wall in a car park some 50yds from the nearest
socket and leave the interior lights on.

Solved it with a strimmer engine driving an old alternator. Ten mins of
that woujld start almost anything.



--
Skipweasel; hardly there at all.

[Richard Robinson]

I was tempted to RTA "Ten mins of that woujld persuade almost any driver to
turn the sodding lights off"


--
Richard Robinson
"The whole plan hinged upon the natural curiosity of potatoes" - S. Lem

My email address is at http://www.qualmograph.org.uk/contact.html

[canaldrifter]

On 17/06/2015 23:34, Richard Robinson wrote:
> Skipweasel said:
>> On Wed, 17 Jun 2015 21:02:51 +0100, canaldrifter wrote:
>>
>>> Either that or rig a very very long extension lead from our dining area
>>> to the van for a hook-up and let it charge, if they'll let me.
>>
>> Ah, I used to have that promble when I had a fleet of minibusen. Drivers
>> would park them facing the wall in a car park some 50yds from the nearest
>> socket and leave the interior lights on.
>>
>> Solved it with a strimmer engine driving an old alternator. Ten mins of
>> that woujld start almost anything.
>
> I was tempted to RTA "Ten mins of that woujld persuade almost any driver to
> turn the sodding lights off"
>
>

Me 2.

Woz gonna connect up a couple of hook-up leads in tandem and leave it
charging overnight, but then found that all the power sockets in our
dining room within reach of the van, don't exist.

I'll have to gerrup early in t'mornin' and run leads from the corridor.
Daren't do that overnight. Night staff might trip over it and sue me.

I think I'm gonna have to ohl a cheap generator. It would be useful on
sites too.

Anyone got an opinion or three about these:

http://www.screwfix.com/p/impax-im800i-700w-inverter-generator-230v/15760

Alternatively I could maybe ohl a new starter battery.

Or switch oft whatever it woz I left switched on, if I can found out
what it was.

Tone

[Tim+]

It seems hard to believe but this little box of tricks is supposed to be
pretty good. (Easyjumper)

http://youtu.be/I_pzljtJapE

Tim

[Brian-Gaff]

What else does it have? Alarm? Some kind of internet adaptor, the stereo
system, fried spider in the wiring?
Brian

--
From the Sofa of Brian Gaff Reply address is active
"canaldrifter" <canald...@gmx.com> wrote in message
news:mlsjmp$r52$1...@dont-email.me...

[Skipweasel]

On Thu, 18 Jun 2015 00:29:19 +0100, canaldrifter wrote:

> Or switch oft whatever it woz I left switched on, if I can found out
> what it was.

One fuse at a time...

[Skipweasel]

On Thu, 18 Jun 2015 07:15:17 +0100, Tim+ wrote:


> It seems hard to believe but this little box of tricks is supposed to be
> pretty good. (Easyjumper)

Trouble with all such things is that they need regular use to keep them
jbexing. Which is unlikely to happen in most hjouseholds.

[Thomas Prufer]

On Thu, 18 Jun 2015 00:29:19 +0100, canaldrifter <canald...@gmx.com> wrote:

>Alternatively I could maybe ohl a new starter battery.

Or a "auto starter pack".

Box with handle and thick leads, and some kind of lead cells inside, very low
impedance, i.e. lots and lots of current for a short time. Not a lot of
capacity, ie light and so portable.

Thomas Prufer

[John Williamson]

Also guaranteed to be flat whenever needed. JDAMHIK, okay?


--
Tciao for Now!

John.

[Ahem A Rivet's Shot]

Also inclined to pack up completely after slowly losing capacity
for several many fortnights.

--
Steve O'Hara-Smith | Directable Mirror Arrays
C:>WIN | A better way to focus the sun
The computer obeys and wins. | licences available see
You lose and Bill collects. | http://www.sohara.org/

[canaldrifter]

On 18/06/2015 08:15, Skipweasel wrote:
> On Thu, 18 Jun 2015 00:29:19 +0100, canaldrifter wrote:
>
>> Or switch oft whatever it woz I left switched on, if I can found out
>> what it was.
>
> One fuse at a time...
>
>
>

Light bulb moment! Now........ where's the fuses?

Tone

[canaldrifter]

On 18/06/2015 09:36, Ahem A Rivet's Shot wrote:
> On Thu, 18 Jun 2015 09:15:24 +0100
> John Williamson <johnwil...@btinternet.com> wrote:
>
>> On 18/06/2015 08:52, Thomas Prufer wrote:
>>> On Thu, 18 Jun 2015 00:29:19 +0100, canaldrifter <canald...@gmx.com>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Alternatively I could maybe ohl a new starter battery.
>>>
>>> Or a "auto starter pack".
>>>
>>> Box with handle and thick leads, and some kind of lead cells inside,
>>> very low impedance, i.e. lots and lots of current for a short time. Not
>>> a lot of capacity, ie light and so portable.
>>>
>>>
>> Also guaranteed to be flat whenever needed. JDAMHIK, okay?
>
> Also inclined to pack up completely after slowly losing capacity
> for several many fortnights.
>

I have managed to connect a very long hook-up to the van, two leads end
to end. If I can get away with it*, I'll leave it on charge all morning.
That should do it. The hook-up automatically charges the flatteries.

*Cleaners around here unplug anything for their industrial vacs. You'd
be at risk on life support.

Tone

[Nick Odell]

On Thu, 18 Jun 2015 10:07:19 +0100, canaldrifter

<canald...@gmx.com> wrote:

>On 18/06/2015 09:36, Ahem A Rivet's Shot wrote:
>> On Thu, 18 Jun 2015 09:15:24 +0100
>> John Williamson <johnwil...@btinternet.com> wrote:
>>
>>> On 18/06/2015 08:52, Thomas Prufer wrote:
>>>> On Thu, 18 Jun 2015 00:29:19 +0100, canaldrifter <canald...@gmx.com>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> Alternatively I could maybe ohl a new starter battery.
>>>>
>>>> Or a "auto starter pack".
>>>>
>>>> Box with handle and thick leads, and some kind of lead cells inside,
>>>> very low impedance, i.e. lots and lots of current for a short time. Not
>>>> a lot of capacity, ie light and so portable.
>>>>
>>>>
>>> Also guaranteed to be flat whenever needed. JDAMHIK, okay?
>>
>> Also inclined to pack up completely after slowly losing capacity
>> for several many fortnights.
>>
>
>I have managed to connect a very long hook-up to the van, two leads end
>to end. If I can get away with it*, I'll leave it on charge all morning.
>That should do it. The hook-up automatically charges the flatteries.
>
>*Cleaners around here unplug anything for their industrial vacs. You'd
>be at risk on life support.
>

This unforgets me of why the corner bed in the Intensive Care ward has
a higher death rate than the other ones.


Or of the critically ill foreign seaman airlifted off a cargo ship and
placed in an ICU and hooked up to drips, oxygen, monitors, the lot and
nobody could understand a word of what he was saying.

They were having a case conference around his bed with all the experts
available when he suddenly sat up, said something unpronounceable and
fell back dead.

Feeling that what he said might have been significant, they scoured
the land for somebody who spoke the seaman's language and asked him to
translate the poor unfortunate's final words.

"Easy," said the translator. "He said, 'You are standing on my oxygen
tube'." [1][1a]

Nick
[1]Probably no.1025 in the Shedde Joke Book. Okay, next time I'll just
shout out 1025
[1a] Should that be '." or .'" or .'." or what?

[R C Nesbit]

Canaldrifter spoke:

> I think I'm gonna have to ohl a cheap generator. It would be useful on
> sites too.
>
> Anyone got an opinion or three about these:
>
> http://www.screwfix.com/p/impax-im800i-700w-inverter-generator-230v/15760

We haz a 800W suitcase genny - but only paid 15Zu for it pre-loved.
Does the wbo OK, and not too noisy. iLdl had a 2Kw one for not much zbarl,
but it is *very* noisy.

> Alternatively I could maybe ohl a new starter battery.

Tru - or one o' they Jump-Start packs, usually around 20Zu from B&M or
simla - but would not work on Hekla with totally blat flatteries - even the
RCR bloke's proper-wbo one only jbexed on the starter terminals.

> Or switch oft whatever it woz I left switched on, if I can found out
> what it was.

We found that ignition key on Hekla could be left *just* into the engine-
stop position and this would blatten the flatteries in short order.
(and burn out the stop solenoid)

--
Eno P. Arfovg
Have I mentioned we have moved onto a narrowboat?
Hekla græna þröngt báturinn

[canaldrifter]

Looking for second power hook-up lead under the bed also found my HD
jump leads that I fort I had lost*.

Update.

Attempt to jump start van oft car failed. Cup of tea. Realised that I
was trying to jump start van via t'leisure flattery. That won't jbex.

Second attempt to jump start van off car failed, but now power going
into blat starter flattery. Leave car running. Cup of tea.

Now blocking car park turning area with car. Can't leave it running and
charging. In the way. Move car.

Can't find battery charger. Realised that I left it on t'boat when I
sold it 4 years ago. Curses. Drive into York. Obhtug new charger.
Connect up domestic mains power system to battery charger via another
extension lead. That's three in-line. Now trickle charging starter
flattery at 7amps. How long d'y'reckon? Four hours? Cups of tea,
slightly laced.

*It is amazing how hook-up leads and jump leads can tangle, even mate
with each other, no matter how carefully you coil them and stow them
away. Anyfing wiv a crocodilly clip on t'end comes alive and grabs
mouthfuls of cable in any order or fashion, that takes hours to unravel.
Even the unravelling process is liable to tangle the boodly things!

I think I am becoming unravelled.

Tone

[Thomas Prufer]

On Thu, 18 Jun 2015 11:08:41 +0100, R C Nesbit <sp...@ukrm.net> wrote:

>We haz a 800W suitcase genny - but only paid 15Zu for it pre-loved.
>Does the wbo OK, and not too noisy. iLdl had a 2Kw one for not much zbarl,
>but it is *very* noisy.

I have a 2kW one, cheap and cheerful: Briggs&Stratton four-stroke engine bolted
to an asynchronous motor as a genny, store-bought, came that way...

Frequency regulation is by rpm, i.e. a spring-loaded flap in the air stream of
the engine. Won't start some loads, even if well under 2000 Watts: the engine
keeps spinning, but the voltage drops too much.

Con: loud, drinks fuel, heavy; pro: cheap, does the job, easily serviced, parts
are common, does what I bought it for. It's OK for running and angle grinder
with hearing protection -- not so much for hours of charging batteries...


Thomas Prufer

[Thomas Prufer]

On Thu, 18 Jun 2015 09:15:24 +0100, John Williamson
<johnwil...@btinternet.com> wrote:

>Also guaranteed to be flat whenever needed. JDAMHIK, okay?

I know a chap that has a botormike and a historic older vehicule (BMW 02) that
get sporadic use. He uses a solar panel thing, about 40 cm x 15 cm, tied to the
outside of the tarp and inside behind the windscreen respectively.

Like this: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B000R0UBT8

It will compensate for the standby losses of the battery, but not for a light
left on.

On his recommendation I use one the charge 12 V 7 Ah SLA batteries in an
allotment, and it will fully charge an empty one in a few days (4-7) of full
sun. (Won't charge an empty starter battery in any reasonable time, either, even
in equatorial sun, nor work on a cigarette lighter that's turned off with the
ignition, but y'all know that.) I think it's worth the money...


Thomas Prufer

[Ahem A Rivet's Shot]

On Thu, 18 Jun 2015 10:46:03 +0100
Nick Odell <ni...@themusicworkshop.plus.com> wrote:

> "Easy," said the translator. "He said, 'You are standing on my oxygen
> tube'." [1][1a]
>
> Nick
> [1]Probably no.1025 in the Shedde Joke Book. Okay, next time I'll just
> shout out 1025
> [1a] Should that be '." or .'" or .'." or what?

I goove it should be .'.". or perhaps !'.". on the grounds that the
sentence within '' ends, and the sentence within "" ends and the sentence
containing both ends, but then I can be too logical for my own good.

[canaldrifter]

On 18/06/2015 14:06, Ahem A Rivet's Shot wrote:
> On Thu, 18 Jun 2015 10:46:03 +0100
> Nick Odell <ni...@themusicworkshop.plus.com> wrote:
>
>> "Easy," said the translator. "He said, 'You are standing on my oxygen
>> tube'." [1][1a]
>>
>> Nick
>> [1]Probably no.1025 in the Shedde Joke Book. Okay, next time I'll just
>> shout out 1025
>> [1a] Should that be '." or .'" or .'." or what?
>
> I goove it should be .'.". or perhaps !'.". on the grounds that the
> sentence within '' ends, and the sentence within "" ends and the sentence
> containing both ends, but then I can be too logical for my own good.
>

It's started!

We're off to see The Bootleg Beatles.

Tone

[Col. Edmund J. Burke]

"canaldrifter" wrote in message news:mlsjmp$r52$1...@dont-email.me...

I like getting buggered like this.


Wot! Do tell!
LOL

[Skipweasel]

On Thu, 18 Jun 2015 09:52:51 +0200, Thomas Prufer wrote:

> Box with handle and thick leads, and some kind of lead cells inside,
> very low impedance, i.e. lots and lots of current for a short time. Not
> a lot of capacity, ie light and so portable.

And always utterly dead when you want it 'cos you've neglected to treat
the contained batteries properly.

I've never actually owned one, but did have to kill one the other day 'cos
it was squealing in pain.

[Skipweasel]

On Thu, 18 Jun 2015 09:15:24 +0100, John Williamson wrote:

> Also guaranteed to be flat whenever needed. JDAMHIK, okay?

BatteRays!

[Kerr Mudd-John]

On Thu, 18 Jun 2015 17:44:31 +0100, Skipweasel <inv...@invalid.invalid>
wrote:

> On Thu, 18 Jun 2015 09:15:24 +0100, John Williamson wrote:
>
>> Also guaranteed to be flat whenever needed. JDAMHIK, okay?
>
> BatteRays!
>

unholy lack of smoke, batman!

Jeeves, fetch the moped

--
Bah, and indeed, Humbug

[Skipweasel]

On Thu, 18 Jun 2015 20:06:38 +0100, Kerr Mudd-John wrote:

> Jeeves, fetch the moped

Is that like "the unwashed" only despondent?

[Kerr Mudd-John]

On Thu, 18 Jun 2015 20:11:48 +0100, Skipweasel <inv...@invalid.invalid>
wrote:

> On Thu, 18 Jun 2015 20:06:38 +0100, Kerr Mudd-John wrote:
>
>> Jeeves, fetch the moped
>
> Is that like "the unwashed" only despondent?
>
>

it was a message from our co-despondent.

[Sena]

canald...@gmx.com said...

> It's started!
>
> We're off to see The Bootleg Beatles.
>

Saw them a few years back. Good, they were.

--
Fran
If you want my emu, ask. Reply-to addy jbexeth not.

[canaldrifter]

On 19/06/2015 21:18, Sena wrote:
> canald...@gmx.com said...
>> It's started!
>>
>> We're off to see The Bootleg Beatles.
>>
> Saw them a few years back. Good, they were.
>

Didn't get to see them in the end. The marquee was absolutely packed
solid. Standing-room only at the back, and I can't stand for long
without falling over. So wandered back to the mobile shedd. But heard
them OK. They were that loud. I reckon they did exactly the same set in
the same order that I heard them do at Cropredy about 22 years ago.

Good though.

Tone

[Andrew Marshall]

In message <mm3ale$al3$1...@dont-email.me>, canaldrifter
<canald...@gmx.com> writes

Unless they've done Croppers more than once between 1989 and 2000, I
unforget that set mainly for the fact that during it (and the rest of
that evening):-

.I was standing in four to six inches of mud, in the heavily-ipssnig
rain, in a somewhat less than adequately-waterproof coat, which was all
I had at the time.

.My shoes were leaking badly, and my feet were soaking wet.

.My trousers were soaked, and my legs were wet almost up to my nefr.

.My glasses were wet, and I could see the ninth root of hooter-all.

.I was suffering from an extremely painful hip joint, due to having
slipped on some concrete stairs at jbex a couple or three fortnights
previously. Both walking and standing still were utter torture.

.A certain young lady, to whom I had had hopes of becoming closer, had
told me to hooter off, in no uncertain terms, a few days before the
festival.

.A couple of BYTs were tenaciously bopping away, despite the appalling
conditions, right next to me. One young lass said to the other "Doesn't
that bloke look miserable?". I gritted my teeth, and just about managed
to refrain from enlightening them as to why.
--
Regards,
Andrew Marshall, G8BUR, M0MAA.

[Mike Fleming]

In article <PzCgx.818937$L15.2...@fx06.am4>, Skipweasel

<inv...@invalid.invalid> writes:

> On Thu, 18 Jun 2015 09:15:24 +0100, John Williamson wrote:
>
> > Also guaranteed to be flat whenever needed. JDAMHIK, okay?
>
> BatteRays!

BatteRay-O-Vacs!

--
Mike Fleming

[Mike Fleming]

In article <p4f5oah4g52dr6fbk...@4ax.com>, Znep
<E-0C0013...@cleopatra.co.uk> writes:

> There are even some cheaper ones with good reviews. My car sometimes
> goes nowhere for quite a long time, so I've ordered one (had to get a
> neighbour to jump-start me the other day, it was a real pain).

The neighbour must be doing it wrong then, it should be quite a
pleasant experience. Getting cars jump-started, that's a pain.

--
Mike Fleming

[Mike Fleming]

In article <nv95oalq9pdp0mrh8...@4ax.com>, Thomas Prufer

<prufer...@mnet-online.de.invalid> writes:

> Con: loud, drinks fuel, heavy; pro: cheap, does the job, easily serviced, parts
> are common, does what I bought it for. It's OK for running and angle grinder
> with hearing protection -- not so much for hours of charging batteries...

That's the trouble with generators, noisy smelly things. If only
someone would make an electrically powered one.

--
Mike Fleming

[Nicholas D. Richards]

In article <rigdoa51o2cul97jh...@4ax.com>, Mike Fleming
<{mike}@tauzero.co.uk> on Sun, 21 Jun 2015 at 14:56:16 awoke Nicholas
from his slumbers and wrote

<Tongue in Cheek>

You mean like this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rotary_converter#/media/File:Rotary-
Converter.jpg
--
Nicholas David Richards -

"Oů sont les neiges d'antan?"

[Andrew Marshall]

In message <WwZeEZAU...@salmiron.co.uk>, Nicholas D. Richards
<nich...@salmiron.demon.co.uk> writes

<chuckle>

I have a much smaller one of those doofrits sitting on the chassis of an
incomplete early-'50s trawler-band transmitter-receiver[1.9] which I may
return to jbexvat beqre on 1.9 Mc/s some time when tuits are available.
12 volts DC in; 250 volts DC out. I doubt I'll be using the rotary
converter, thobut; I'll molish and hfr an external power unit.

[1.9] molished in Sarfend by Ajax Electronics, and 'Sprat' yclept. Gwgl
hasn't so far found any info on it, but the circuit is relatively
simple, so should be fairly easy to sort out and remolish for an
external supply, and add a speech amplifier for a dynamic microphone.

[RustyHinge]

On 18/06/15 00:29, canaldrifter wrote:

> Alternatively I could maybe ohl a new starter battery.
>

> Or switch oft whatever it woz I left switched on, if I can found out
> what it was.

Or put in a batri isolator.

--
Rusty Hinge
To err is human. To really foul things up requires a computer and the BOFH.

[canaldrifter]

On 23/06/2015 14:48, RustyHinge wrote:
> On 18/06/15 00:29, canaldrifter wrote:
>
>> Alternatively I could maybe ohl a new starter battery.
>>
>> Or switch oft whatever it woz I left switched on, if I can found out
>> what it was.
>
> Or put in a batri isolator.
>

I have one of they, but I think it's just for the domestic blattery. The
only fing I could fink of woz I left the rajo on standby*. Could that
have blattened a commercial flattery in two weeks?

*That is with just the clock showing.

Tone

[Mike Fleming]

In article <mmc62a$7hj$1...@dont-email.me>, canaldrifter

I'd have thought that would be a current drain of the ordure of
milliamps which would drain a PP3 in a few days but shouldn't make a
dent in a car battery.

--
Mike Fleming

[Mike Smith]

My former inamorata (hard core beatles fan) liked a band called Rain wot she said did the beatles stuff betterer than the beatles. That were a while back thoughbutinit.

Cheers

Mike

[R C Nesbit]

Canaldrifter spoke:

> I have one of they, but I think it's just for the domestic blattery. The
> only fing I could fink of woz I left the rajo on standby*. Could that
> have blattened a commercial flattery in two weeks?
>
> *That is with just the clock showing.

We haven't figured out how - indeed if it's possible, to turn off the rajo
in græna þröngt báturinn

--
Eno P. Arfovg
Have I mentioned we have moved onto a narrowboat?
Hekla græna þröngt báturinn

[canaldrifter]

On 24/06/2015 16:10, R C Nesbit wrote:
> Canaldrifter spoke:
>> I have one of they, but I think it's just for the domestic blattery. The
>> only fing I could fink of woz I left the rajo on standby*. Could that
>> have blattened a commercial flattery in two weeks?
>>
>> *That is with just the clock showing.
>
> We haven't figured out how - indeed if it's possible, to turn off the rajo
> in græna þröngt báturinn
>

Made sure I turned oft the rajo this time, and everything is highly
charged ATM. So maybe it does take more power out on stand-by than at
first deemed? Couldn't find anyfing else that it might have been.

Tone

[Mike Fleming]

In article <mmens7$jma$2...@dont-email.me>, canaldrifter

Have you got reasonable access to the power supply to it to put a
multimeter on and check the current drain? The fuse would provide a
handy access point.

--
Mike Fleming

[Alòhá Fenq]

Mike Fleming wrote:

> Have you got reasonable access to the power supply to it to put a
> multimeter on and check the current drain? The fuse would provide a
> handy access point.

I've got a handy set of mutleymeter leads that plugs into a blade-type
fuse holder (it has another blade holder in-line so you don't have to
risk being unfused for the duration of the test).

<http://www.maplin.co.uk/p/fuse-adapter-n50cy>

[Skipweasel]

On Fri, 26 Jun 2015 16:38:27 +0100, Alòhá Fenq wrote:

> I've got a handy set of mutleymeter leads that plugs into a blade-type
> fuse holder (it has another blade holder in-line so you don't have to
> risk being unfused for the duration of the test).
>
> <http://www.maplin.co.uk/p/fuse-adapter-n50cy>

Which appears to be for standard size car fuses, not maxi fuses as
descried.

--
Skipweasel. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

[Alòhá Fenq]

Skipweasel wrote:

> Alòhá Fenq wrote:
>
>> <http://www.maplin.co.uk/p/fuse-adapter-n50cy>
>
> Which appears to be for standard size car fuses, not maxi fuses as
> descried.

It certainly is for standard size, not maxi.

[Kerr Mudd-John]

On Sun, 21 Jun 2015 14:52:57 +0100, Mike Fleming <{mike}@tauzero.co.uk>
wrote:

Nora Batty O'Mops!