Well if we're doing joaks

[Ahem A Rivet's Shot]

The travelling shaman arrived at his next gig, an island community needing
a sacrificial rite performing. Being experienced in the game he brought
along a spare maiden (a delightful white one he'd picked up cheap) just in
case the locally provided offering proved disqualified or otherwise
unacceptable to the gods.

As it happened the local offering was fine, so he didn't notice when his
spare was rescued by an over-muscled sailor with a taste for spinach.
And that ladies and gentlemen is how Popeye met his wife, the extra virgin,
Olive Oyl.

--
Steve O'Hara-Smith
Odds and Ends at http://www.sohara.org/

[RustyHinge]

We're getting into dangerous territory now - my sister is an Essex Girl...

--
Rusty Hinge
To err is human. To really foul things up requires a computer and the BOFH.

[Brian Gaff]

Groan. The Groan jokes seem to be pretty poor these days, sadly.

An Electron goes into a hotel and gets a room, the receptionist says do you
need any help with your luggage, no, says the photon. I'm travelling Light.
Brian

--

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"Ahem A Rivet's Shot" <ste...@eircom.net> wrote in message
news:20220710135054.9aa3...@eircom.net...

[Richard Robinson]

Brian Gaff said:
> Groan. The Groan jokes seem to be pretty poor these days, sadly.
>
> An Electron goes into a hotel and gets a room, the receptionist says do you
> need any help with your luggage, no, says the photon. I'm travelling Light.

And there's a charged atmosphere over the electron's marginalisation.

Are you thinking about these at all, Brian, or just repeating things
you've heard ?

--
Richard Robinson
"The whole plan hinged upon the natural curiosity of potatoes" - S. Lem

My email address is at http://qualmograph.org.uk/contact.html

[Ahem A Rivet's Shot]

On Sun, 10 Jul 2022 22:06:11 +0100
RustyHinge <rusty...@foobar.girolle.co.uk> wrote:

> We're getting into dangerous territory now - my sister is an Essex Girl...

I can think of a recent resignee who might have benefited from the
advice of an ethics girl[n].

[n] Other genders available.

[Richard Robinson]

Ahem A Rivet's Shot said:
> On Sun, 10 Jul 2022 22:06:11 +0100
> RustyHinge <rusty...@foobar.girolle.co.uk> wrote:
>
>> We're getting into dangerous territory now - my sister is an Essex Girl...
>
> I can think of a recent resignee who might have benefited from the
> advice of an ethics girl[n].

Would we even have heard of him, if he had taken it ?

> [n] Other genders available.
>


--

[Brian Gaff]

Thinking, yes, comprehending in this hot weather probably not.

Alexa has some real groaners, I think the team at Amazon don't have enough
to do.

A Higgs boson kept leaving the doors open. Eventually all the other bosons
sad to the Higgs, what is wrong with you, can't you close a door, were you
born in a field, Nothing said the Higgs, I am a field.

Brian

--

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Blind user, so no pictures please
Note this Signature is meaningless.!

"Richard Robinson" <rich...@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:pKSdnc_bCMbubVb_...@brightview.co.uk...

[Richard Robinson]

Brian Gaff said:
> Thinking, yes, comprehending in this hot weather probably not.
>
> Alexa has some real groaners, I think the team at Amazon don't have enough
> to do.

Is that where the 'Blenda' one came from ?

[Tease'n'Seize]

Richard Robinson wrote:

> Brian Gaff said:
>
>> Alexa has some real groaners, I think the team at Amazon don't have enough
>> to do.
>
> Is that where the 'Blenda' one came from ?

She's too buy telling kids to shove pennies behind mains plugs

[John Williamson]

On 12/07/2022 11:25, Richard Robinson wrote:
> Brian Gaff said:
>> Thinking, yes, comprehending in this hot weather probably not.
>>
>> Alexa has some real groaners, I think the team at Amazon don't have enough
>> to do.
>
> Is that where the 'Blenda' one came from ?
>

The first time I heard that one, Benny Hill was the most popular comedy
show on TV.

--
Tciao for Now!

John.

[Richard Robinson]

Anybody fancy a pointless squabble about the gender identity of robots ?

[Ahem A Rivet's Shot]

On Tue, 12 Jul 2022 06:15:49 -0500
Richard Robinson <rich...@privacy.net> wrote:

> Anybody fancy a pointless squabble about the gender identity of robots ?

The first company to produce a general purpose household robot
that does all the numerous household tasks such as cooking, cleaning,
tidying, washing etc. might best avoid taking their designs from either the
stereotypical 1950s housewife or the earlier domestic servant (especially
Southern American variety).

Indeed they should probably avoid any hint of gender or even human
appearance.

I strongly suspect Asimov was dead wrong and humanoid robots will
only see specialised use.

[Richard Robinson]

What a sheltered life I've led.

I don't think I've ever met anyone of any nationality with a food
processor on their head.

[Richard Robinson]

Ahem A Rivet's Shot said:
> On Tue, 12 Jul 2022 06:15:49 -0500
> Richard Robinson <rich...@privacy.net> wrote:
>
>> Anybody fancy a pointless squabble about the gender identity of robots ?
>
> The first company to produce a general purpose household robot
> that does all the numerous household tasks such as cooking, cleaning,
> tidying, washing etc. might best avoid taking their designs from either the
> stereotypical 1950s housewife or the earlier domestic servant (especially
> Southern American variety).

Might best avoid having it designed by an AI ?

> Indeed they should probably avoid any hint of gender or even human
> appearance.
>
> I strongly suspect Asimov was dead wrong and humanoid robots will
> only see specialised use.

From a safe distance (if there is one) it's intriguing to be finding
out how much of what we do is brain-dead to the point where it can be
described so precisely/completely.

[John Williamson]

On 12/07/2022 13:12, Ahem A Rivet's Shot wrote:

> I strongly suspect Asimov was dead wrong and humanoid robots will
> only see specialised use.
>

That is how Asimov's robots started. They were used in jobs (Usually in
space) where there was a significant risk to humans performing them, and
it was easier to build robots that were humanoid than to modify the
working procedures. It meant that if it all went wrong, they could send
in a human to do the jobs the robots couldn't.

As they became better and people began to accept them, their use spread
into society at large.

We are currently at a stage where self driving cars can do the job at
least as well as humans under certain circumstances, but we still don't
trust them.

[Richard Robinson]

Depersonalisation - there's no-one to get pissed off at if it runs into
you ?

Plus, of course, all the uncertain circumstances.


I was a bit bothered by a car I hired a few years back. The manual said
that it steered itself by following the white lines /so long as you kept
at least one finger in contact with the steering wheel/. So far as I
could make out, if you took your hands of the wheel completely, no-one
was steering it. I didn't test the proposition very hard.

[maus]

I must interject;

When my wife died and the children went away, I got a couple of robots,
a roomba to sweep the floor (kept going under seats and getting stuck, I
made a small robot before that that never got stuck), and a robot
lawnmower that couldn't manage wet grass, so i screwed screws into the
wheels to give it grip, PITA, anyway. One of my daughters would check
what plugs were plugged before going home. Did someone mention
Alexa?..People consiousely having a wiretap in their house? Stone the
crows!


--
grey...@mail.com
ten, twenty million, tops

[Ahem A Rivet's Shot]

On Tue, 12 Jul 2022 14:00:06 +0100
John Williamson <johnwil...@btinternet.com> wrote:

> We are currently at a stage where self driving cars can do the job at
> least as well as humans under certain circumstances, but we still don't
> trust them.

But nobody is trying to molish a self-driving add-on in the form of
a human shaped robot driver.

[Tease'n'Seize]

Ahem A Rivet's Shot wrote:

> nobody is trying to molish a self-driving add-on in the form of > a human shaped robot driver.

They will by 2084

<https://youtu.be/eWgrvNHjKkY>

[John Williamson]

On 12/07/2022 15:28, Ahem A Rivet's Shot wrote:
> On Tue, 12 Jul 2022 14:00:06 +0100
> John Williamson <johnwil...@btinternet.com> wrote:
>
>> We are currently at a stage where self driving cars can do the job at
>> least as well as humans under certain circumstances, but we still don't
>> trust them.
>
> But nobody is trying to molish a self-driving add-on in the form of
> a human shaped robot driver.
>

Yet. Semi-colon - dash - close bracket.

[Richard Robinson]

But, why ?

[John Williamson]

On 12/07/2022 17:02, Richard Robinson wrote:
> John Williamson said:
>> On 12/07/2022 15:28, Ahem A Rivet's Shot wrote:
>>> On Tue, 12 Jul 2022 14:00:06 +0100
>>> John Williamson <johnwil...@btinternet.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>> We are currently at a stage where self driving cars can do the job at
>>>> least as well as humans under certain circumstances, but we still don't
>>>> trust them.
>>>
>>> But nobody is trying to molish a self-driving add-on in the form of
>>> a human shaped robot driver.
>>>
>> Yet. Semi-colon - dash - close bracket.
>
> But, why ?
>
>

Because, when they can do summat, people do, even if it's a daft idea?

[Richard Robinson]

John Williamson said:
> On 12/07/2022 17:02, Richard Robinson wrote:
>> John Williamson said:
>>> On 12/07/2022 15:28, Ahem A Rivet's Shot wrote:
>>>> On Tue, 12 Jul 2022 14:00:06 +0100
>>>> John Williamson <johnwil...@btinternet.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> We are currently at a stage where self driving cars can do the job at
>>>>> least as well as humans under certain circumstances, but we still don't
>>>>> trust them.
>>>>
>>>> But nobody is trying to molish a self-driving add-on in the form of
>>>> a human shaped robot driver.
>>>>
>>> Yet. Semi-colon - dash - close bracket.
>>
>> But, why ?
>>
>>
> Because, when they can do summat, people do, even if it's a daft idea?

If I obhtug a car, I'd want paying to have a humanoid wasting space in
it.

[John Williamson]

On 12/07/2022 18:10, Richard Robinson wrote:
> John Williamson said:
>> On 12/07/2022 17:02, Richard Robinson wrote:
>>> John Williamson said:
>>>> On 12/07/2022 15:28, Ahem A Rivet's Shot wrote:
>>>>> On Tue, 12 Jul 2022 14:00:06 +0100
>>>>> John Williamson <johnwil...@btinternet.com> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> We are currently at a stage where self driving cars can do the job at
>>>>>> least as well as humans under certain circumstances, but we still don't
>>>>>> trust them.
>>>>>
>>>>> But nobody is trying to molish a self-driving add-on in the form of
>>>>> a human shaped robot driver.
>>>>>
>>>> Yet. Semi-colon - dash - close bracket.
>>>
>>> But, why ?
>>>
>>>
>> Because, when they can do summat, people do, even if it's a daft idea?
>
> If I obhtug a car, I'd want paying to have a humanoid wasting space in
> it.
>

Someone rich enough might want the humanoid to waste the space to prove
just how rich they were.

[Nicholas D. Richards]

In article <jj5ong...@mid.individual.net>, John Williamson
<johnwil...@btinternet.com> on Tue, 12 Jul 2022 at 18:18:39 awoke
Nicholas from his slumbers and wrote

Now if the humanoid looked like a namecilop that would not be a waste of
space, now would it?
--
0sterc@tcher -

"Oů sont les neiges d'antan?"

[Richard Robinson]

Eeew, he can't even afford a human chauffeur !

It'd be a lot simpler to get Elon Musk to just fire himself into space.


I've suddenly found myself wondering, would there be more peacocks if
they hadn't developed such a tail-fetish ?

[Richard Robinson]

Nicholas D. Richards said:
> In article <jj5ong...@mid.individual.net>, John Williamson

>>On 12/07/2022 18:10, Richard Robinson wrote:
>>> John Williamson said:
>>>> On 12/07/2022 17:02, Richard Robinson wrote:
>>>>> John Williamson said:
>>>>>> On 12/07/2022 15:28, Ahem A Rivet's Shot wrote:
>>>>>>> John Williamson <johnwil...@btinternet.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> We are currently at a stage where self driving cars can do the job at
>>>>>>>> least as well as humans under certain circumstances, but we still don't
>>>>>>>> trust them.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> But nobody is trying to molish a self-driving add-on in the form of
>>>>>>> a human shaped robot driver.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>> Yet. Semi-colon - dash - close bracket.
>>>>>
>>>>> But, why ?
>>>>>
>>>> Because, when they can do summat, people do, even if it's a daft idea?
>>>
>>> If I obhtug a car, I'd want paying to have a humanoid wasting space in
>>> it.
>>>
>>Someone rich enough might want the humanoid to waste the space to prove
>>just how rich they were.
>>
> Now if the humanoid looked like a namecilop that would not be a waste of
> space, now would it?

People'd cnl tbbq zbarl to make it look like they'd been arrested ?

*sigh* probably. I Blame Youtube.

[Nicholas D. Richards]

In article <EqmdnUdw0LtaLFD_...@brightview.co.uk>, Richard
Robinson <rich...@privacy.net> on Tue, 12 Jul 2022 at 12:39:19 awoke

Nicholas from his slumbers and wrote

>>> John Williamson said:
>> Someone rich enough might want the humanoid to waste the space to prove
>> just how rich they were.
>
>Eeew, he can't even afford a human chauffeur !
>
>It'd be a lot simpler to get Elon Musk to just fire himself into space.
>
>
>I've suddenly found myself wondering, would there be more peacocks if
>they hadn't developed such a tail-fetish ?
>

Sadly it is not so much the peacocks have a fetish for long tails as the
peahens who have the fetish for cocks with long tails. The hens will, it
seems, go for the cock with the longest tails.

So it is a case of short tail, long life, but no nooky, against long
showy tail, short life and life in the fast lane.

[Nicholas D. Richards]

In article <tIWdnQNK1e2YLlD_...@brightview.co.uk>, Richard
Robinson <rich...@privacy.net> on Tue, 12 Jul 2022 at 12:44:37 awoke

Nicholas from his slumbers and wrote

>Nicholas D. Richards said:
>> In article <jj5ong...@mid.individual.net>, John Williamson
>>>On 12/07/2022 18:10, Richard Robinson wrote:
>>>>
>>>> If I obhtug a car, I'd want paying to have a humanoid wasting space in
>>>> it.
>>>>
>>>Someone rich enough might want the humanoid to waste the space to prove
>>>just how rich they were.
>>>
>> Now if the humanoid looked like a namecilop that would not be a waste of
>> space, now would it?
>
>People'd cnl tbbq zbarl to make it look like they'd been arrested ?
>
>*sigh* probably. I Blame Youtube.
>

Other drivers and scrotes would treat you/your car with respect. Your
car should be safe from being twocking.

[Richard Robinson]

I meant the species.

[Richard Robinson]

Nicholas D. Richards said:
> In article <tIWdnQNK1e2YLlD_...@brightview.co.uk>, Richard
> Robinson <rich...@privacy.net> on Tue, 12 Jul 2022 at 12:44:37 awoke
> Nicholas from his slumbers and wrote
>>Nicholas D. Richards said:
>>> In article <jj5ong...@mid.individual.net>, John Williamson
>>>>On 12/07/2022 18:10, Richard Robinson wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> If I obhtug a car, I'd want paying to have a humanoid wasting space in
>>>>> it.
>>>>>
>>>>Someone rich enough might want the humanoid to waste the space to prove
>>>>just how rich they were.
>>>>
>>> Now if the humanoid looked like a namecilop that would not be a waste of
>>> space, now would it?
>>
>>People'd cnl tbbq zbarl to make it look like they'd been arrested ?
>>
>>*sigh* probably. I Blame Youtube.
>>
> Other drivers and scrotes would treat you/your car with respect. Your
> car should be safe from being twocking.

Hacking, though ...

[Sam Plusnet]

Silicone-enhanced peacocks will be a thing.

--
Sam Plusnet

[Mike Fleming]

On 12/07/2022 14:36, Richard Robinson wrote:
>
> I was a bit bothered by a car I hired a few years back. The manual said
> that it steered itself by following the white lines /so long as you kept
> at least one finger in contact with the steering wheel/. So far as I
> could make out, if you took your hands of the wheel completely, no-one
> was steering it. I didn't test the proposition very hard.

Sounds rather like a ouija board, with the strong possibility of
finishing up on the wrong side of one.

[Mike Fleming]

On 12/07/2022 13:12, Ahem A Rivet's Shot wrote:
>
> I strongly suspect Asimov was dead wrong and humanoid robots will
> only see specialised use.

You could do with one to walk the dog.

https://youtu.be/wlkCQXHEgjA

[Richard Robinson]

Bring back the anti-knock additives, eh ?

[Brian Gaff]

And the mistyped photon one.


I think they are cutting back onjokes making fun of some nationalities now
so I've not heard a Blenda type joke for some time.
Brian

--

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"Richard Robinson" <rich...@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:SL2dndiOffmZ0VD_...@brightview.co.uk...

> Brian Gaff said:
>> Thinking, yes, comprehending in this hot weather probably not.
>>
>> Alexa has some real groaners, I think the team at Amazon don't have
>> enough
>> to do.
>

> Is that where the 'Blenda' one came from ?