YTC requalification.
Salad Dodger
Arrive at Auntie Pru, park up, check pockets. Where's me Datatool fob
gone? Realise pocket on Voyager III has been undone for the journey.
Arse.
Talk colleague into lending me his VTR[1] to go home on, at lunchtime.
Pick up second Datatool fob, return to work. Nothing. No little flashy
red light. Nada.
Arse.
Go back home, get both fobs for the GoldWing, and a tiddly
screwdriver, return to work, change battery. Nothing.
Remember that "spare" fob has no battery, cos it's broke.
Arse.
Resolve to borrow VTR again tomorrow, to get *two* new fobs from
Metropolis at Vauxhall Bridge.
Go home on the DLR.
Arse.
[1] VTR: quite sprightly little beast, in an understated way.
I can certainly see the appeal of a V twin, now.[2]
Handles lovely, but has the worst front end under braking I think I've
ever encountered.
Please tell me they're not all that bad.
[2] 300yds on TOG's Duc didn't count, and the Deauville, and Comfy
Chair don't either.
--
| ___ Salad Dodger
|/ \ GL1500SEV/CBR1100XXX/KH500A8/TS250C/exTS185C
_/_____\_ ..42655../...9009.../..3070./.19406/.spares.
|_\_____/_| IMC#4 TPPFATUICG#7 YTC#4 DIAABTCOD#9
(>|_|_|<) BOTAFOT #70 two#11 Ignoramus #0001
|__|_|__| BOTAFOF #09 IbW#0 & KotIbW# OSOS#07
\ |^| / WG* BotTOS #6
\|^|/ RBR landmarks:14 points:235 miles:1096
'^'
Hog
news:12gmbu0ekqd317dul...@4ax.com...
> Off to work on the Blackbird, light traffic, lovely.
>
> Arrive at Auntie Pru, park up, check pockets. Where's me Datatool fob
> gone? Realise pocket on Voyager III has been undone for the journey.
>
> Arse.
This is Auto-immobiliser stuff? I hate them.
Had same problem. Nice BT Security guy in Hemel let me lock the Duke up near
his hut and I left the ignition on all day!! (kill switch off though).
--
Hog ----K1100LT---- email at Hog...@ukrm.net remove bondage to reply
Paul Corfield
<salad....@dsl.pipex.com> wrote:
>Off to work on the Blackbird, light traffic, lovely.
>
>Arrive at Auntie Pru, park up, check pockets. Where's me Datatool fob
>gone? Realise pocket on Voyager III has been undone for the journey.
>Pick up second Datatool fob, return to work. Nothing. No little flashy
>red light. Nada.
>Go back home, get both fobs for the GoldWing, and a tiddly
>screwdriver, return to work, change battery. Nothing.
>
>Remember that "spare" fob has no battery, cos it's broke.
>
>Arse.
You were having enough problem remembering where the fob for the Wing
was on Sunday morning so I'm not exactly surprised by this tale :-)
--
Paul C - "the big camp bastard" (tm darsy)
VFR800 | ZX6R | R1150GS
BOD#5, two#4, BOTAFOT#23, BOTAFOF#4, URMSBC#09, COFF#09
Admits to working for London Underground!
Spete
"Paul Corfield" <aoo...@dsl.pipex.com> wrote in message
news:2tjmbus80t1raae0r...@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 15 Apr 2002 22:17:56 +0100, Salad Dodger
> <salad....@dsl.pipex.com> wrote:
>
> >Off to work on the Blackbird, light traffic, lovely.
> >
> >Arrive at Auntie Pru, park up, check pockets. Where's me Datatool fob
> >gone? Realise pocket on Voyager III has been undone for the journey.
>
> >Pick up second Datatool fob, return to work. Nothing. No little flashy
> >red light. Nada.
>
> >Go back home, get both fobs for the GoldWing, and a tiddly
> >screwdriver, return to work, change battery. Nothing.
> >
> >Remember that "spare" fob has no battery, cos it's broke.
> >
> >Arse.
>
> You were having enough problem remembering where the fob for the Wing
> was on Sunday morning so I'm not exactly surprised by this tale :-)
>
I remember that, did you see the loof of sheer horror in his face when I
suggested it could still be in his tent?
--
Spete (the Silent One)
'95 ZZR600 (wahey !!!)
two#37 COFF#19 MIRTTH#17
http://members.tripodnet.nl/spete
Faq at: http://www.ukrm.net/faq/index.html
I am usually referred to as The Master
DangerScouse
<salad....@dsl.pipex.com> wrote:
<snip>
>Arse.
>
>Go back home, get both fobs for the GoldWing, and a tiddly
>screwdriver, return to work, change battery. Nothing.
>
>Remember that "spare" fob has no battery, cos it's broke.
>
>Arse.
>
>Resolve to borrow VTR again tomorrow, to get *two* new fobs from
>Metropolis at Vauxhall Bridge.
>
>Go home on the DLR.
I was quite amused by you putting Gertie on the centrestand on Sunday
morning thereby setting the alarm off. And then hunting for the keys.
<G>
--
Lesley
ZXR400SP
SBS#11[with oak-leaf cluster]
BOTAFOT#101A UKRMHRC#12 BONY#54P
Spete
"DangerScouse" <Les...@ukrm.org> wrote in message
news:r4qmbug7mc08a32gp...@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 15 Apr 2002 22:17:56 +0100, Salad Dodger
> <salad....@dsl.pipex.com> wrote:
>
> <snip>
>
> >Arse.
> >
> >Go back home, get both fobs for the GoldWing, and a tiddly
> >screwdriver, return to work, change battery. Nothing.
> >
> >Remember that "spare" fob has no battery, cos it's broke.
> >
> >Arse.
> >
> >Resolve to borrow VTR again tomorrow, to get *two* new fobs from
> >Metropolis at Vauxhall Bridge.
> >
> >Go home on the DLR.
>
> I was quite amused by you putting Gertie on the centrestand on Sunday
> morning thereby setting the alarm off. And then hunting for the keys.
> <G>
>
twas my fault, I thought the centrestand was just for posing, thought he'd
never be able to put the barge on it ;-)
Salad Dodger
wrote:
>I was quite amused by you putting Gertie on the centrestand on Sunday
>morning thereby setting the alarm off. And then hunting for the keys.
Gertie? Feckin Gertie?
How *dare* you?
<harrumph>
Alan T Gower
"Salad Dodger" <salad....@dsl.pipex.com> wrote in message
news:12gmbu0ekqd317dul...@4ax.com...
> Off to work on the Blackbird, light traffic, lovely.
>
> Go home on the DLR.
>
> Arse.
>
Poor sod.
--
Alan
GSX-R1000 , Triumph Thunderbird(, XLH1200, ZXR750L2 Racer.
YTC#9, DS#2 two#24, BOTAFOF#11, TGF, GYASB#1. SbS#23. DFWAG#2
http://sportsbike.org (our own endurance team) http://Team-ukrm.com
"Nemo repente fuit turpissimus"
Ben Blaney
>Arse.
Okay, here's one that I told lozzo and Dr Will about on Sunday
morning. They both called me a TC, so it's worth a go.
While I was a student in Plymouth, I kept myself in beer and
Argyle tickets by driving HGVs a day a week.
One day I was sent to a battery chicken farm in Cornwall. When I
got there I was given the keys to a unit, and told to hook up to
a trailer round the back. The trailer was full of chicken poo,
which the chicken farm sell to other farms as fertilizer. I was
given an address - a hamlet that wasn't in my road atlas, it is
that small. However, I got directions and set off. In a fully
freighted 40 footer.
I found the farm, left the truck by the gate, and wandered in to
find someone. They pointed out the space they had cleared to
take delivery of the poo. I thought that it was going to be
difficult to get in and out because there were three 90deg
*tight* turns and then their little bay.
I drove in and got the trailer positioned roughly where they
wanted it. I never had used a tipper trailer before, but I'd
been given rough instructions about which levers to push at which
time. I followed the instructions, and as I pressed the final
button to start raising the trailer I realised that it was a
mistake to be standing near the back. I tried to escape but it
was no use; I was subsumed by 24 tonnes of chicken shit. Head to
foot, it entered my nostrils, my ears, and I had to wipe it out
of my eyes. It was horrible. The farm workers were on their
backs laughing their fucking Cornish arses off.
After giving my face and hands a wipe with a cloth that was in
the cab I drove back to the chicken farm, and I could see the
farm workers still chuckling in my mirrors. Back at the yard, I
stripped to my pants, got in my car and drove home.
To add insult to injury, I then realised that I had to stop for
petrol with no opportunity (and, if I'm honest little
inclination) to get dressed. Despite it being mid-afternoon,
*no-one* in that petrol station in Saltash asked me why I was
almost naked and smelling of shit.
KOTL?
--
Ben Blaney
GSF1200 CBR600 CD200
Jon
benb...@ukrm.net says...
> Salad Dodger wrote:
>
> >Arse.
>
>
> Okay, here's one that I told lozzo and Dr Will about on Sunday
> morning. They both called me a TC, so it's worth a go.
>
> While I was a student in Plymouth, I kept myself in beer and
> Argyle tickets by driving HGVs a day a week.
>
> One day I was sent to a battery chicken farm in Cornwall. When I
> got there I was given the keys to a unit, and told to hook up to
> a trailer round the back. The trailer was full of chicken poo,
> which the chicken farm sell to other farms as fertilizer. I was
> KOTL?
Gets my vote -- I just LMAO.
--
Jon
Suzuki SV650S | BOTAFOT#116
Email: sp...@hidden.demon.co.uk (the email address is valid)
Andy Cunningham
wrote:
<snipety, snip>
>mistake to be standing near the back. I tried to escape but it
>was no use; I was subsumed by 24 tonnes of chicken shit. Head to
>foot, it entered my nostrils, my ears, and I had to wipe it out
>of my eyes. It was horrible.
ROTFLMAO!
F*cking brilliant!
Andy
--
Andy Cunningham
Stockholm, Sweden
955i Sprint RS
UKRMMA#17 | two#42
The UKRM FAQ: http://www.ukrm.net/faq/ukrmfaq1.html
Steve Brassett
"Jon" <sp...@hidden.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:MPG.17261c9ca...@news.demon.co.uk...
> In article <6nunbug3fl5cvrsva...@4ax.com>,
> benb...@ukrm.net says...
> > Salad Dodger wrote:
> >
> > >Arse.
> >
> >
> > Okay, here's one that I told lozzo and Dr Will about on
Sunday
> > morning. They both called me a TC, so it's worth a go.
> >
> > While I was a student in Plymouth, I kept myself in beer
and
> > Argyle tickets by driving HGVs a day a week.
> >
> > One day I was sent to a battery chicken farm in
Cornwall. When I
> > got there I was given the keys to a unit, and told to
hook up to
> > a trailer round the back. The trailer was full of
chicken poo,
> > which the chicken farm sell to other farms as
fertilizer. I was
> <snip>
> > KOTL?
>
> Gets my vote -- I just LMAO.
Mine too - I don't often laugh out loud, but that
was priceless.
--
Steve Brassett (The Quiet One)
VN800 Classic
Champ
wrote:
>Back at the yard, I
>stripped to my pants, got in my car and drove home.
>
>To add insult to injury, I then realised that I had to stop for
>petrol with no opportunity (and, if I'm honest little
>inclination) to get dressed. Despite it being mid-afternoon,
>*no-one* in that petrol station in Saltash asked me why I was
>almost naked and smelling of shit.
<Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers>
That's the *maddest* mad bomber I've ever seen
>KOTL?
Got to be. Surely?
--
Champ : Racing information at www.team-ukrm.com
GSX-R 1000, GPz 750 turbo, ZXR750 Endurance Racer
GYASB#0 BotToS#2 BOTAFO(T|F)#35 UKRMFBC#2 IHABWTMMJ#3 MCT#5 WG*#1 BONY#40 DFV#8 IbW#17 SBS#34
Site of the week : www.vhemt.org
Ben Blaney
>On Tue, 16 Apr 2002 12:31:54 +0100, Ben Blaney <benb...@ukrm.net>
>wrote:
>
>>KOTL?
>
>Got to be. Surely?
Apparently he's not "on" ukrm.
Champ
wrote:
>Champ wrote:
>
>>On Tue, 16 Apr 2002 12:31:54 +0100, Ben Blaney <benb...@ukrm.net>
>>wrote:
>>
>>>KOTL?
>>
>>Got to be. Surely?
>
>Apparently he's not "on" ukrm.
I think you'll find that if you click your heels 3 times, he'll turn
up...
Ginge
ne...@champ.org.uk says...
> On Tue, 16 Apr 2002 14:05:17 +0100, Ben Blaney <benb...@ukrm.net>
> wrote:
>
> >Champ wrote:
> >
> >>On Tue, 16 Apr 2002 12:31:54 +0100, Ben Blaney <benb...@ukrm.net>
> >>wrote:
> >>
> >>>KOTL?
> >>
> >>Got to be. Surely?
> >
> >Apparently he's not "on" ukrm.
>
> I think you'll find that if you click your heels 3 times, he'll turn
> up...
Doesn't someone have to e-mail him things first?
--
ginge [at] stopthevoices.org.uk - Kawasaki ZRX 1200R, Yamaha SZR660
TAB#0, DFWAG#1, MRO#4, KotMRO#, BOTAFOT#29, BONY#17, FAST#03(P)
Ben Blaney
>In article <0ujobu4lq4e1mmm1j...@4ax.com>,
>ne...@champ.org.uk says...
>> On Tue, 16 Apr 2002 14:05:17 +0100, Ben Blaney <benb...@ukrm.net>
>> wrote:
>>
>> >Apparently he's not "on" ukrm.
>>
>> I think you'll find that if you click your heels 3 times, he'll turn
>> up...
>
>Doesn't someone have to e-mail him things first?
Allegedly.
Champ
<gi...@SPAMDECOYstopthevoices.org.uk> wrote:
>In article <0ujobu4lq4e1mmm1j...@4ax.com>,
>ne...@champ.org.uk says...
>> On Tue, 16 Apr 2002 14:05:17 +0100, Ben Blaney <benb...@ukrm.net>
>> wrote:
>>
>> >Champ wrote:
>> >
>> >>On Tue, 16 Apr 2002 12:31:54 +0100, Ben Blaney <benb...@ukrm.net>
>> >>wrote:
>> >>
>> >>>KOTL?
>> >>
>> >>Got to be. Surely?
>> >
>> >Apparently he's not "on" ukrm.
>>
>> I think you'll find that if you click your heels 3 times, he'll turn
>> up...
>
>Doesn't someone have to e-mail him things first?
Perhaps.
DangerScouse
<salad....@dsl.pipex.com> wrote:
>On Tue, 16 Apr 2002 00:57:51 +0100, DangerScouse <Les...@ukrm.org>
>wrote:
>
>>I was quite amused by you putting Gertie on the centrestand on Sunday
>>morning thereby setting the alarm off. And then hunting for the keys.
>
>Gertie? Feckin Gertie?
>
>How *dare* you?
>
><harrumph>
I gather you don't like the nick then..
Actually, envisaging you with an 'harrumph' is quite....um..lets not go
there.
Wik
(benb...@ukrm.net) gave forth with a sudden burst of eloquence, thus:
> Okay, here's one
BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Priceless! Truly priceless.
I do believe that is worthy of a number, meself.
BB?
--
| Wik - UKRMHRC#10 -1999 Speed Triple- DC#1 - BOTAFOT#0 - BOD#12 FON#?
|# You don't believe me | "Experience is the worst teacher.
|That the scenery | It always gives the test first
|Could be a cold-blooded killer. | and the instruction afterward."
Champ
<Rik_Ryall...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>Possibly under the influence of cosmic rays, Ben Blaney
>(benb...@ukrm.net) gave forth with a sudden burst of eloquence, thus:
>
>> Okay, here's one
>
>BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
>
>Priceless! Truly priceless.
>
>I do believe that is worthy of a number, meself.
He's already *got* a number, ytc!
Ben Blaney
>On Wed, 17 Apr 2002 12:59:21 +0100, Wik
><Rik_Ryall...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>>I do believe that is worthy of a number, meself.
>
>He's already *got* a number, ytc!
I haven't.
darsy
>On Wed, 17 Apr 2002 12:59:21 +0100, Wik
><Rik_Ryall...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>>Possibly under the influence of cosmic rays, Ben Blaney
>>(benb...@ukrm.net) gave forth with a sudden burst of eloquence, thus:
>>
>>> Okay, here's one
>>
>>BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
>>
>>Priceless! Truly priceless.
>>
>>I do believe that is worthy of a number, meself.
>
>He's already *got* a number, ytc!
no he hasn't YETC!
--
darsy
cd200:r1150gs:r30/ukrm homepage : ukrm.net
Wik
Ah...
Wik
Touché...
Champ
wrote:
>Champ wrote:
>
>>On Wed, 17 Apr 2002 12:59:21 +0100, Wik
>><Rik_Ryall...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>>>I do believe that is worthy of a number, meself.
>>
>>He's already *got* a number, ytc!
>
>I haven't.
Bugger. I thought Wik response was to Dodger's post. Mea Culpa.