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Honk for speed bumps

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Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 10:41:54 AM9/12/11
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I've had it up to here [points] with speed bumps, they're putting them absolutely everywhere. I've asked the council if they'll pay for any suspension replacements, and repairs to the bottom of my car when I scrape it off (sporty cars do not clear 50% of speedbumps even at 1mph). I very much doubt they will reply.

The only two ways I can see to get something done about this are:

1) Honk your horn every time you go over one. This will have the effect of people living next to them complaining to the council to have them removed. If a policeman complains, simply point out that the jolt is causing the horn switch to connect momentarily and the speed bumps are gradually destroying your car.

2) If there is traffic behind you, slow down to an absurd speed, perhaps 1mph.

Eventually people will get the picture and have them taken away.

Bod

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Sep 12, 2011, 10:50:54 AM9/12/11
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Ha! Even better! Stop and get out and measure each bump for clearance
:-) That should rattle a few cages.

--
Bod

ARWadsworth

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Sep 12, 2011, 10:58:17 AM9/12/11
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Bloody ridiculous name for them.

If anything they make you slow down instead of speeding up.
Adam


Message has been deleted

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 11:11:17 AM9/12/11
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Actually, there appears to be a mathematical law here. A 20mph speed bump is smoothest at 20mph, but also at 10mph, 5mph, 2.5 mph, and of course 40mph and 80mph....

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 11:12:27 AM9/12/11
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Or perhaps stop, get out, crawl under your car, inspect for damage, get some tools out of the boot, jack the car up, shake your head in disbelief, take a photo of the speedbump, then drive off.

Bod

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Sep 12, 2011, 11:13:34 AM9/12/11
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I just posted this. How come it's been reposted under your name? Wery
stwange.

--
Bod

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 11:13:40 AM9/12/11
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On Mon, 12 Sep 2011 16:03:15 +0100, <damdu...@yahoo.co.uk> wrote:

> On Mon, 12 Sep 2011 15:41:54 +0100, "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com>
> wrote:
>
>> I've had it up to here [points] with speed bumps, they're putting them absolutely everywhere. I've asked the council if they'll pay for any suspension replacements, and repairs to the bottom of my car when I scrape it off (sporty cars do not clear 50% of speedbumps even at 1mph). I very much doubt they will reply.
>>
>> The only two ways I can see to get something done about this are:
>>
>>
> Most of them are in chavvy estates where the idea of a sporty car is
> an old Nova or similar with lowered suspension and a load of stuck on
> tat in an attempt to impress others but which actually look stupid.
> So if you are not a Troll then you probably drive one of them.
> Any one with a decent sporty car rarely have the need to go to such a
> place often enough to have it trouble them and if they need to do so
> will use another vehicle which they usually have access to.
>
> G.Harman


Actually the local recycling centre is at the end of a chav estate. And no I do not have another vehicle. Nor do I wish to purchase one just to go there.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 11:18:17 AM9/12/11
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Wadsworth top posted, so I did likewise for neatness.

Bod

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Sep 12, 2011, 11:20:31 AM9/12/11
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I see.

--
Bod

ARWadsworth

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Sep 12, 2011, 11:21:45 AM9/12/11
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I had just restarted the computer and forgot to turn OE Quotefix on:-(

--
Adam


Scott M

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Sep 12, 2011, 12:03:43 PM9/12/11
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damdu...@yahoo.co.uk wrote:

> Any one with a decent sporty car rarely have the need to go to such a
> place often enough to have it trouble them and if they need to do so
> will use another vehicle which they usually have access to.

Last time I bottomed out on a speed hump was outside the front entrance
of a rather posh school. And that was with my perfectly standard height
suspension. Grrrrr.

--
Scott

Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 12:07:12 PM9/12/11
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On Mon, 12 Sep 2011 17:03:43 +0100, Scott M <no_one@no_where.net> wrote:

> damdu...@yahoo.co.uk wrote:
>
>> Any one with a decent sporty car rarely have the need to go to such a
>> place often enough to have it trouble them and if they need to do so
>> will use another vehicle which they usually have access to.
>
> Last time I bottomed out on a speed hump was outside the front entrance
> of a rather posh school. And that was with my perfectly standard height
> suspension. Grrrrr.

I saw a bus do it once. The hump was away the next day - perhaps a bus company has bigger clout.

Jethro

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Sep 12, 2011, 12:32:19 PM9/12/11
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Our little cul-de-sac is an "L" shape, about 150m in total length. Have
noticed a few cars racing up and down of late. Our lad tells us it's
common knowledge (so he's heard it at school) that this is the longest
stretch of speed-bump free side road in the area. The law of unintended
consequences I guess. We already had one car totaled when a racer lost
control a few months ago.

So I'd welcome some speed humps. Mind you I live at the corner - I'd feel
sorry for whoever lives at the bottom.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 1:04:17 PM9/12/11
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Oh you're not one of those people who worries about things that haven't happened yet are you?

IF someone crashes, it's THEIR fault, not the fault of the road. Don't inconvenience everyone else to stop them.

I suppose you'd like to take 3 times longer to get to your house, and replace your suspension and exhaust every 6 months?

I suppose you'd like to hear cars revving up and slowing down every 5 seconds as they approach each bump?

Clive George

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Sep 12, 2011, 1:45:29 PM9/12/11
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On 12/09/2011 18:04, Lieutenant Scott wrote:

> I suppose you'd like to take 3 times longer to get to your house, and
> replace your suspension and exhaust every 6 months?

Is your car a bit crap? What is it? Is it lowered?

> I suppose you'd like to hear cars revving up and slowing down every 5
> seconds as they approach each bump?

I find speedbumps to not be a problem. Approach them at the right speed,
go over them, no slowing, no revving up, keep the same speed for the
next set if appropriate.

Silk

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Sep 12, 2011, 2:03:18 PM9/12/11
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On 12/09/2011 15:41, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
> I've had it up to here

Same here. Fuck off.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 2:59:25 PM9/12/11
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On Mon, 12 Sep 2011 18:45:29 +0100, Clive George <cl...@xxxx-x.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:

> On 12/09/2011 18:04, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>
>> I suppose you'd like to take 3 times longer to get to your house, and
>> replace your suspension and exhaust every 6 months?
>
> Is your car a bit crap? What is it? Is it lowered?

Golf GTI, lowered by ONE inch.

>> I suppose you'd like to hear cars revving up and slowing down every 5
>> seconds as they approach each bump?
>
> I find speedbumps to not be a problem. Approach them at the right speed,
> go over them, no slowing, no revving up, keep the same speed for the
> next set if appropriate.

You still jolt the car. It can't be good for it. And if you have stuff in it that's heavy, fragile, etc, or you're pulling a trailer...

Also, I don't want to be driving half the speed limit over them. Driving at the speed limit works on some, but not others. And I want to drive about 50% over. I'LL decide what is a safe speed, not some prat at a desk.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 2:59:51 PM9/12/11
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Has a bad hair day or something? Stop being so fucking grumpy.

Clive George

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Sep 12, 2011, 3:16:51 PM9/12/11
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On 12/09/2011 19:59, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
> On Mon, 12 Sep 2011 18:45:29 +0100, Clive George
> <cl...@xxxx-x.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:
>
>> On 12/09/2011 18:04, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>>
>>> I suppose you'd like to take 3 times longer to get to your house, and
>>> replace your suspension and exhaust every 6 months?
>>
>> Is your car a bit crap? What is it? Is it lowered?
>
> Golf GTI, lowered by ONE inch.

And it needs suspension components replacing every six months? Bit crap,
isn't it?

Perhaps you should consider installing some higher quality suspension,
possibly something with an adjustable ride height so you can cope with
your local roads.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 3:26:25 PM9/12/11
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I prefer to try to avoid the speed bump roads, which of course is a waste of fuel, as is slowing down for the bumps. And the government is supposed to be protecting the environment....

Silk

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Sep 12, 2011, 3:30:40 PM9/12/11
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On 12/09/2011 19:59, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
You're the grumpy one. I couldn't give a fuck about speed humps. I have
more important things to worry about.

Clive George

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Sep 12, 2011, 3:36:07 PM9/12/11
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My car isn't crap like yours. I don't need to avoid roads, I don't need
to slow down for the humps. You choose to drive a crap car rather than
something which will cope with your roads. You'll take longer to get
there, despite your "sporty" choice. Your choice, don't whine about it.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 3:44:10 PM9/12/11
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It's nothing to do with my car, EVERYONE slows down for speed bumps. Why the hell is the government impeding the flow of traffic? Sometimes it's even dangerous - causing cars (and lorries!) to swerve round traffic calming measures, risking the lives of the pedestrians waiting to cross.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 3:44:46 PM9/12/11
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Then why are you reading newsgroups? Go and do the important things.

Clive George

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Sep 12, 2011, 3:47:08 PM9/12/11
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On 12/09/2011 20:44, Lieutenant Scott wrote:

> It's nothing to do with my car, EVERYONE slows down for speed bumps.

A lie which makes the rest of your post superfluous.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 3:50:10 PM9/12/11
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The only cars I've seen which don't slow down for speedbumps are 4x4s. If I wanted to go offroad, I'd buy a 4x4 and go offroad. I don't expect to do offroading on the roads!

Clive George

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Sep 12, 2011, 3:56:59 PM9/12/11
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My car isn't a 4x4 and I don't need to slow down for speedbumps in the
way you describe.

I remember idly observing cars crossing them a few years ago. Those who
slowed down went up and down. Those who didn't just let their suspension
do the work it's designed to do, and had a much better ride as a result.
Of course compromising your suspension probably means you don't have
that option - but that's your choice, live with it and don't whine.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 4:04:33 PM9/12/11
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On Mon, 12 Sep 2011 20:56:59 +0100, Clive George <cl...@xxxx-x.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:

> On 12/09/2011 20:50, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>> On Mon, 12 Sep 2011 20:47:08 +0100, Clive George
>> <cl...@xxxx-x.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:
>>
>>> On 12/09/2011 20:44, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>>>
>>>> It's nothing to do with my car, EVERYONE slows down for speed bumps.
>>>
>>> A lie which makes the rest of your post superfluous.
>>
>> The only cars I've seen which don't slow down for speedbumps are 4x4s.
>> If I wanted to go offroad, I'd buy a 4x4 and go offroad. I don't expect
>> to do offroading on the roads!
>
> My car isn't a 4x4 and I don't need to slow down for speedbumps in the
> way you describe.
>
> I remember idly observing cars crossing them a few years ago. Those who
> slowed down went up and down. Those who didn't just let their suspension
> do the work it's designed to do, and had a much better ride as a result.

I've actually found it's better to INCREASE your speed. If you accelerate just as you get to the bump, this lifts the front of the car and lessens the impact. The people you saw going up and down probably slowed down just as they reached the bump. That's a bad idea as it lowers the front of the car, increasing the bump.

Anyway, as speedbumps are completely pointless, they might aswell not be there in the first place. Like speed cameras they achieve absolutely nothing.

> Of course compromising your suspension probably means you don't have
> that option - but that's your choice, live with it and don't whine.

I haven't done anything to my suspension. It's just got wheels on it one inch smaller than it came with (they were the only ones I could find when my originals were damaged).

And every car I've owned (Mondeo, Espace, Maestro, Sierra, etc, etc) have all jolted when going over a bump, even at half the speed limit.

Silk

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Sep 12, 2011, 4:07:29 PM9/12/11
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Just because I have more important things to worry about, doesn't mean I
waste my time worrying about them.

Silk

unread,
Sep 12, 2011, 4:08:38 PM9/12/11
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On 12/09/2011 17:32, Jethro wrote:

> So I'd welcome some speed humps. Mind you I live at the corner - I'd feel
> sorry for whoever lives at the bottom.

You're a stupid twat.

Silk

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Sep 12, 2011, 4:09:51 PM9/12/11
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On 12/09/2011 19:59, Lieutenant Scott wrote:

> Golf GTI, lowered by ONE inch.

You've still gone through the process of lowering it, which is pikey.

Silk

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Sep 12, 2011, 4:12:06 PM9/12/11
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On 12/09/2011 20:44, Lieutenant Scott wrote:

> It's nothing to do with my car, EVERYONE slows down for speed bumps.

I don't. The ones on the road near me can be driven easily at 30mph and
above, as long as you hit them straight and keep a constant speed.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 4:13:38 PM9/12/11
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It depends on the type. The worst are those square ones, people actually change their road position to go over the lowest part. Two cars going opposite directions, both move towards the centre of the road....

Bod

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Sep 12, 2011, 4:13:43 PM9/12/11
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It can depend on what type of bonking policeman. There are many
different types, some more troublesome than others.

--
Bod

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 4:14:43 PM9/12/11
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As I wrote in another message, it's just got slightly smaller wheels (as they were the only ones I could get hold of when one failed - it had a slow puncture caused by a split in the alloy).

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 4:15:22 PM9/12/11
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An actual policeman would be far more fun to drive over. Then at least you'd be achieving something.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 4:16:20 PM9/12/11
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If you're going to call someone a twat, at least explain why.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 4:17:06 PM9/12/11
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You seem to waste a lot of time bickering on here. 50% of your posts are calling people names.

Bod

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Sep 12, 2011, 4:17:52 PM9/12/11
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I ride over them quite easily by aligning my wheels correctly. A wider
axle width helps. Minis and Fiestas etc, cannot ride over them smoothly.

--
Bod

Bod

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Sep 12, 2011, 4:19:42 PM9/12/11
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Yeh but! people would speed up, rather than down :-)

--
Bod

Bod

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Sep 12, 2011, 4:20:31 PM9/12/11
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Very true.

--
Bod

Mike P

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Sep 12, 2011, 4:37:59 PM9/12/11
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On Mon, 12 Sep 2011 20:44:10 +0100, Lieutenant Scott dribbled:
I don't. Like Clive, I don't need to. My car is not crap.



--
Mike P

Mike P

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Sep 12, 2011, 4:40:17 PM9/12/11
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On Mon, 12 Sep 2011 20:56:59 +0100, Clive George dribbled:

> On 12/09/2011 20:50, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>> On Mon, 12 Sep 2011 20:47:08 +0100, Clive George
>> <cl...@xxxx-x.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:
>>
>>> On 12/09/2011 20:44, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>>>
>>>> It's nothing to do with my car, EVERYONE slows down for speed bumps.
>>>
>>> A lie which makes the rest of your post superfluous.
>>
>> The only cars I've seen which don't slow down for speedbumps are 4x4s.
>> If I wanted to go offroad, I'd buy a 4x4 and go offroad. I don't expect
>> to do offroading on the roads!
>
> My car isn't a 4x4 and I don't need to slow down for speedbumps in the
> way you describe.

Neither is mine. Quite often I overtake people in one of the speedbump
zones I drive through, I get so bored of them slowing down to 5mph for
every bump I just overtake if it's clear.



--
Mike P

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 4:46:29 PM9/12/11
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"Aligning your wheels correctly" is the problem. Cars moving around the road to avoid bumps is not conducive to road safety. I have on quite a few occasions had to avoid someone who crossed the central line to go over his bump smoothly, especially if there are parked cars by the bumps, hence the smoothest route is often too far over to allow cars to pass both ways.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 4:47:10 PM9/12/11
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Oh I don't know, would you rather be run over quickly to get it over and done with, or tortured slowly?

Bod

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Sep 12, 2011, 4:48:46 PM9/12/11
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Indeed.

--
Bod

Bod

unread,
Sep 12, 2011, 4:52:08 PM9/12/11
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Me personally? fast (naturally).
A policeman? that would depend how charitable I was feeling on the
day :-)


--
Bod

Steve Firth

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Sep 12, 2011, 5:23:11 PM9/12/11
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"Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote:
[snip]
>
> The only cars I've seen which don't slow down for speedbumps are 4x4s.
> If I wanted to go offroad, I'd buy a 4x4 and go offroad. I don't expect
> to do offroading on the roads!

You're talking crap. The drivers of 4x4s slow down for speed bumps because
it's not nice to smash your head into the roof. The only cars that don't
need to slow down for speed bumps are Citroens.

I once beat Alain Prost down Albert Drive, Woking. He was driving a
Testarossa, I was driving a Citroen BX. The road had speed bumps every 250
metres.

Silk

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Sep 12, 2011, 5:26:52 PM9/12/11
to
On 12/09/2011 21:17, Lieutenant Scott wrote:

> You seem to waste a lot of time bickering on here. 50% of your posts are
> calling people names.

Stop being a twat and I'll stop calling you a twat.

Silk

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Sep 12, 2011, 5:28:50 PM9/12/11
to
On 12/09/2011 21:17, Bod wrote:

> I ride over them quite easily by aligning my wheels correctly. A wider
> axle width helps. Minis and Fiestas etc, cannot ride over them smoothly.
>
It helps to explain why the Lieutenant hasn't made Captain.

Silk

unread,
Sep 12, 2011, 5:30:47 PM9/12/11
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So you've already bashed one of your alloys. Your last name wouldn't be
Hucker by any chance?

Silk

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Sep 12, 2011, 5:31:41 PM9/12/11
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You wouldn't understand if I did.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 5:33:39 PM9/12/11
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Alloys crack with age, probably due to vibrations from hitting speed bumps.

> Your last name wouldn't be Hucker by any chance?

No, it's Scott......

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 5:34:24 PM9/12/11
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I'm not the only one reading the group.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 12, 2011, 5:36:09 PM9/12/11
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Actually I was referring to you replying to Jethro:

---------------

Lieutenant Scott

unread,
Sep 12, 2011, 5:36:41 PM9/12/11
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Everybody knows the higher you go in management the thicker you are.

Steve Firth

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Sep 12, 2011, 5:41:34 PM9/12/11
to
"Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote:
> On Mon, 12 Sep 2011 22:30:47 +0100, Silk <m...@privacy.net> wrote:
[snip]

>> Your last name wouldn't be Hucker by any chance?
>
> No, it's Scott......

So far it's looking like Scott of the Arseantic.

Silk

unread,
Sep 13, 2011, 3:13:29 AM9/13/11
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You're a stupid twat as well then. To save any confusion.

Silk

unread,
Sep 13, 2011, 3:14:43 AM9/13/11
to
On 12/09/2011 22:33, Lieutenant Scott wrote:

> No, it's Scott......

Is it your first or last name?

Silk

unread,
Sep 13, 2011, 3:15:38 AM9/13/11
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On 12/09/2011 22:36, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
Tell that to Alan Sugar, Richard Branson, Peter Jones, etc.

Silk

unread,
Sep 13, 2011, 3:16:25 AM9/13/11
to
On 12/09/2011 22:23, Steve Firth wrote:

> I once beat Alain Prost down Albert Drive, Woking.

No, please stop.

Man at B&Q

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Sep 13, 2011, 5:35:50 AM9/13/11
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On Sep 12, 4:03 pm, damduck-...@yahoo.co.uk wrote:
> On Mon, 12 Sep 2011 15:41:54 +0100, "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com>
> wrote:
>
> >I've had it up to here [points] with speed bumps, they're putting them absolutely everywhere.  I've asked the council if they'll pay for any suspension replacements, and repairs to the bottom of my car when I scrape it off (sporty cars do not clear 50% of speedbumps even at 1mph).  I very much doubt they will reply.
>
> >The only two ways I can see to get something done about this are:
>
> Most of them are in chavvy estates where the idea of a sporty car is
> an old Nova or similar with lowered suspension and a load of stuck on
> tat in an attempt to impress others but which actually look stupid.
> So if you are not a Troll then you probably drive one of them.
> Any one with a decent sporty car rarely have the need to go to such a
> place often enough to have it trouble them and if they need to do so
> will use another vehicle which they usually have access to.
>
> G.Harman

What Utter Cock!

Man at B&Q

unread,
Sep 13, 2011, 5:39:21 AM9/13/11
to
On Sep 12, 9:04 pm, "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote:

> I haven't done anything to my suspension.  It's just got wheels on it one inch smaller than it came with (they were the only ones I could find when my originals were damaged).

So, it's lowered by one inch which means a reduction of two inches in
the wheel diameter. I bet it looks a right mess. Have you recalibrated
your speedo?

MBQ

Psyched

unread,
Sep 13, 2011, 6:02:59 AM9/13/11
to
On 12/09/2011 15:41, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
> I've had it up to here [points] with speed bumps, they're putting them
> absolutely everywhere. I've asked the council if they'll pay for any
> suspension replacements, and repairs to the bottom of my car when I
> scrape it off (sporty cars do not clear 50% of speedbumps even at 1mph).
> I very much doubt they will reply.
>
> The only two ways I can see to get something done about this are:
>
> 1) Honk your horn every time you go over one. This will have the effect
> of people living next to them complaining to the council to have them
> removed. If a policeman complains, simply point out that the jolt is
> causing the horn switch to connect momentarily and the speed bumps are
> gradually destroying your car.

Why try to spoil the lives of someone else instead of doing something
positive to get rid of them, if they need getting rid of?

> 2) If there is traffic behind you, slow down to an absurd speed, perhaps
> 1mph.

Why cause misery or congestion to others instead of doing something
positive to get rid of them, if they need getting rid of?

> Eventually people will get the picture and have them taken away.

I doubt it.

--
Psyched
add d to reply email

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 13, 2011, 7:48:33 AM9/13/11
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On Tue, 13 Sep 2011 10:39:21 +0100, Man at B&Q <manat...@hotmail.com> wrote:

> On Sep 12, 9:04 pm, "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote:
>
>> I haven't done anything to my suspension. It's just got wheels on it one inch smaller than it came with (they were the only ones I could find when my originals were damaged).
>
> So, it's lowered by one inch which means a reduction of two inches in
> the wheel diameter. I bet it looks a right mess.

Why would 2 inches less wheel diameter look a mess?

> Have you recalibrated
> your speedo?

Actually it's only two of the wheels that are lower. It was the front ones (it was a front original wheel that was leaking air) I changed, but that caused more scraping on speedbumps, so I've changed it to the back ones. Still doesn't fix the problem though.

And the fact remains that if a speed bump was only clearing a common car by one inch, then there is something wrong with the speed bump.

Lieutenant Scott

unread,
Sep 13, 2011, 7:50:11 AM9/13/11
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On Mon, 12 Sep 2011 22:23:11 +0100, Steve Firth <%steve%@malloc.co.uk> wrote:

> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote:
> [snip]
>>
>> The only cars I've seen which don't slow down for speedbumps are 4x4s.
>> If I wanted to go offroad, I'd buy a 4x4 and go offroad. I don't expect
>> to do offroading on the roads!
>
> You're talking crap. The drivers of 4x4s slow down for speed bumps because
> it's not nice to smash your head into the roof. The only cars that don't
> need to slow down for speed bumps are Citroens.

My Honda CRV was fine going over them, and that was the only vehicle I've ever had that was.

Steve Firth

unread,
Sep 13, 2011, 7:50:27 AM9/13/11
to
Do you know what buildings are on Albert Drive? I used to be able to see
both Senna and Prost getting fitted for their car seats just outside my
office window.

Just because you've never been anywhere or done anything doesn't mean
everyone is the same as you.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 13, 2011, 7:50:53 AM9/13/11
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There are always exceptions. But you could list 1000s of managers that are thick or otherwise arseholes.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 13, 2011, 7:51:13 AM9/13/11
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Last.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 13, 2011, 7:52:00 AM9/13/11
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In future, twat the right person will you?

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 13, 2011, 7:53:30 AM9/13/11
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On Tue, 13 Sep 2011 11:02:59 +0100, Psyched <nahcant...@nowhere.com> wrote:

> On 12/09/2011 15:41, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>> I've had it up to here [points] with speed bumps, they're putting them
>> absolutely everywhere. I've asked the council if they'll pay for any
>> suspension replacements, and repairs to the bottom of my car when I
>> scrape it off (sporty cars do not clear 50% of speedbumps even at 1mph).
>> I very much doubt they will reply.
>>
>> The only two ways I can see to get something done about this are:
>>
>> 1) Honk your horn every time you go over one. This will have the effect
>> of people living next to them complaining to the council to have them
>> removed. If a policeman complains, simply point out that the jolt is
>> causing the horn switch to connect momentarily and the speed bumps are
>> gradually destroying your car.
>
> Why try to spoil the lives of someone else instead of doing something
> positive to get rid of them, if they need getting rid of?

I'm open to suggestions. Contacting the council falls on deaf ears. But it might not if all the residents of the street which they are on contact them.

>> 2) If there is traffic behind you, slow down to an absurd speed, perhaps
>> 1mph.
>
> Why cause misery or congestion to others instead of doing something
> positive to get rid of them, if they need getting rid of?

I'm open to suggestions. Contacting the council falls on deaf ears. But it might not if many people contact them.

>> Eventually people will get the picture and have them taken away.
>
> I doubt it.

They might dig them up. Those square ones are not tarmac, I'm sure they would lever off.

Psyched

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Sep 13, 2011, 8:58:57 AM9/13/11
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On 13/09/2011 12:53, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
> On Tue, 13 Sep 2011 11:02:59 +0100, Psyched <nahcant...@nowhere.com>
> wrote:
>
>> On 12/09/2011 15:41, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>>> I've had it up to here [points] with speed bumps, they're putting them
>>> absolutely everywhere. I've asked the council if they'll pay for any
>>> suspension replacements, and repairs to the bottom of my car when I
>>> scrape it off (sporty cars do not clear 50% of speedbumps even at 1mph).
>>> I very much doubt they will reply.
>>>
>>> The only two ways I can see to get something done about this are:
>>>
>>> 1) Honk your horn every time you go over one. This will have the effect
>>> of people living next to them complaining to the council to have them
>>> removed. If a policeman complains, simply point out that the jolt is
>>> causing the horn switch to connect momentarily and the speed bumps are
>>> gradually destroying your car.
>>
>> Why try to spoil the lives of someone else instead of doing something
>> positive to get rid of them, if they need getting rid of?
>
> I'm open to suggestions.Contacting the council falls on deaf ears.

Not in my experience, have you actually tried? What was the response?

> But
> it might not if all the residents of the street which they are on
> contact them.

Why would they though? If you think honking the horn would help you're
deluded, all the residents would do is complain about the extra noise
and get the perpetrators 'done' for not using their horn in accordance
with the law/HighwayCode (however it's worded).

I'd guess most residents prefer the humps to car drivers using the
streets as rat-runs, as happens in many cases. It's unlikely they'd
associate a horn being blown with a speed hump, they'd just associate it
with a chav car driver.

>>> 2) If there is traffic behind you, slow down to an absurd speed, perhaps
>>> 1mph.
>>
>> Why cause misery or congestion to others instead of doing something
>> positive to get rid of them, if they need getting rid of?
>
> I'm open to suggestions. Contacting the council falls on deaf ears. But
> it might not if many people contact them.

See above.

>>> Eventually people will get the picture and have them taken away.
>>
>> I doubt it.
>
> They might dig them up. Those square ones are not tarmac, I'm sure they
> would lever off.

Criminal damage isn't a good tag to have.


--
Psyched

Mike P

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Sep 13, 2011, 9:16:00 AM9/13/11
to
What's wrong with that? A guy I worked with many years ago crashed his
works van into the back of Nigel Mansell. I myself stood on Rubens'
Barichello's foot, and got I've also been hit by a car Martin Brundle
was driving.

Steve Firth

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Sep 13, 2011, 9:37:32 AM9/13/11
to
It's his script. He's never been anywhere, he's never done anything. He
expects everyone to be as mediocre as he is.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 13, 2011, 9:49:08 AM9/13/11
to
On Tue, 13 Sep 2011 13:58:57 +0100, Psyched <nahcant...@nowhere.com> wrote:

> On 13/09/2011 12:53, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>> On Tue, 13 Sep 2011 11:02:59 +0100, Psyched <nahcant...@nowhere.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> On 12/09/2011 15:41, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>>>> I've had it up to here [points] with speed bumps, they're putting them
>>>> absolutely everywhere. I've asked the council if they'll pay for any
>>>> suspension replacements, and repairs to the bottom of my car when I
>>>> scrape it off (sporty cars do not clear 50% of speedbumps even at 1mph).
>>>> I very much doubt they will reply.
>>>>
>>>> The only two ways I can see to get something done about this are:
>>>>
>>>> 1) Honk your horn every time you go over one. This will have the effect
>>>> of people living next to them complaining to the council to have them
>>>> removed. If a policeman complains, simply point out that the jolt is
>>>> causing the horn switch to connect momentarily and the speed bumps are
>>>> gradually destroying your car.
>>>
>>> Why try to spoil the lives of someone else instead of doing something
>>> positive to get rid of them, if they need getting rid of?
>>
>> I'm open to suggestions.Contacting the council falls on deaf ears.
>
> Not in my experience, have you actually tried? What was the response?

That they did some big study into it and made their decision. Any further communication is ignored.
I wonder if they actually ask the residents first?

>> But
>> it might not if all the residents of the street which they are on
>> contact them.
>
> Why would they though? If you think honking the horn would help you're
> deluded, all the residents would do is complain about the extra noise
> and get the perpetrators 'done' for not using their horn in accordance
> with the law/HighwayCode (however it's worded).

A horn is to warn of danger :-) It's a danger to car suspension and the underside.

> I'd guess most residents prefer the humps to car drivers using the
> streets as rat-runs, as happens in many cases.

If people are so obsessed about excessive speed, why are there 3 MILLION people caught (and how many aren't?) for speeding every year?

> It's unlikely they'd
> associate a horn being blown with a speed hump, they'd just associate it
> with a chav car driver.

Not when they hear it on each bump.

>>>> Eventually people will get the picture and have them taken away.
>>>
>>> I doubt it.
>>
>> They might dig them up. Those square ones are not tarmac, I'm sure they
>> would lever off.
>
> Criminal damage isn't a good tag to have.

Do you really think a chav would care?

jamesd1974

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Sep 13, 2011, 12:54:29 PM9/13/11
to


>Most of them are in chavvy estates where the idea of a sporty car is
>an old Nova or similar with lowered suspension and a load of stuck on
>tat in an attempt to impress others but which actually look stupid.
>So if you are not a Troll then you probably drive one of them.
>Any one with a decent sporty car rarely have the need to go to such a
>place often enough to have it trouble them and if they need to do so
>will use another vehicle which they usually have access to.

>G.Harman

what a load of bollocks

james

Silk

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Sep 13, 2011, 1:12:03 PM9/13/11
to
Most people have done something out of the ordinary or met someone well
known. Perhaps even more than once. But not all time.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 13, 2011, 1:14:05 PM9/13/11
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Are you familiar with standard deviation curves?

Silk

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Sep 13, 2011, 1:39:04 PM9/13/11
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That's not so bad. Scott is the name you give to a mongoloid.

Silk

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Sep 13, 2011, 1:40:13 PM9/13/11
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On 13/09/2011 12:53, Lieutenant Scott wrote:

> I'm open to suggestions.

Move somewhere less pikey.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 13, 2011, 1:41:40 PM9/13/11
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Especially if they're from England.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 13, 2011, 1:42:30 PM9/13/11
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Why should I have take the trouble and expense of moving because the council are stupid enough to erect speed bumps?

Steve Firth

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Sep 13, 2011, 2:23:08 PM9/13/11
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Uh huh. Perhaps you just need to learn how to read?

Psyched

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Sep 13, 2011, 2:36:19 PM9/13/11
to
Doesn't answer what I asked.

>>> But
>>> it might not if all the residents of the street which they are on
>>> contact them.
>>
>> Why would they though? If you think honking the horn would help you're
>> deluded, all the residents would do is complain about the extra noise
>> and get the perpetrators 'done' for not using their horn in accordance
>> with the law/HighwayCode (however it's worded).
>
> A horn is to warn of danger :-) It's a danger to car suspension and the
> underside.

The humps are no danger to residents, so why try to warn them? It's you
that'd be making a nuisance.

>> I'd guess most residents prefer the humps to car drivers using the
>> streets as rat-runs, as happens in many cases.
>
> If people are so obsessed about excessive speed, why are there 3 MILLION
> people caught (and how many aren't?) for speeding every year?

Where's excessive speed come into it? Humps are far preferable to most
people than having their streets turned into rat-runs.

>> It's unlikely they'd
>> associate a horn being blown with a speed hump, they'd just associate it
>> with a chav car driver.
>
> Not when they hear it on each bump.

But they won't.

>>>>> Eventually people will get the picture and have them taken away.
>>>>
>>>> I doubt it.
>>>
>>> They might dig them up. Those square ones are not tarmac, I'm sure they
>>> would lever off.
>>
>> Criminal damage isn't a good tag to have.
>
> Do you really think a chav would care?

You really haven't thought the original premise or arguments for and
against it through, have you?

--
Psyched

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 13, 2011, 2:42:37 PM9/13/11
to
That's usually what people do, which I did. Do you have a problem with your questions being answered?

>>>> But
>>>> it might not if all the residents of the street which they are on
>>>> contact them.
>>>
>>> Why would they though? If you think honking the horn would help you're
>>> deluded, all the residents would do is complain about the extra noise
>>> and get the perpetrators 'done' for not using their horn in accordance
>>> with the law/HighwayCode (however it's worded).
>>
>> A horn is to warn of danger :-) It's a danger to car suspension and the
>> underside.
>
> The humps are no danger to residents, so why try to warn them? It's you
> that'd be making a nuisance.

I assume the residents' cars get more of a beating as they have to go over them every day.

>>> I'd guess most residents prefer the humps to car drivers using the
>>> streets as rat-runs, as happens in many cases.
>>
>> If people are so obsessed about excessive speed, why are there 3 MILLION
>> people caught (and how many aren't?) for speeding every year?
>
> Where's excessive speed come into it? Humps are far preferable to most
> people than having their streets turned into rat-runs.

Speed bumps are called speed bumps because that's their intention, to stop SPEED.

To stop rat runs you need to make dead ends or one way streets. All bumps do is make the people on the rat runs make more noise.

>>> It's unlikely they'd
>>> associate a horn being blown with a speed hump, they'd just associate it
>>> with a chav car driver.
>>
>> Not when they hear it on each bump.
>
> But they won't.

The deaf ones might not.

>>>>>> Eventually people will get the picture and have them taken away.
>>>>>
>>>>> I doubt it.
>>>>
>>>> They might dig them up. Those square ones are not tarmac, I'm sure they
>>>> would lever off.
>>>
>>> Criminal damage isn't a good tag to have.
>>
>> Do you really think a chav would care?
>
> You really haven't thought the original premise or arguments for and
> against it through, have you?

Answer the question.

Silk

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Sep 13, 2011, 3:24:28 PM9/13/11
to
The bumps have been installed in response to a known pikey infestation.
Recognise the signs; move out.

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 13, 2011, 3:26:32 PM9/13/11
to
Bumps are present at all different types of locations. It is the DVLA/police/government/council's goal to cover every single road in the UK in these abominations.

Silk

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Sep 13, 2011, 3:27:44 PM9/13/11
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Why especially England? Are you from one of the occupied territories?

Psyched

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Sep 13, 2011, 3:29:20 PM9/13/11
to
On 13/09/2011 19:42, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
> On Tue, 13 Sep 2011 19:36:19 +0100, Psyched <nahcant...@nowhere.com>
> wrote:

>> Doesn't answer what I asked.
>
> That's usually what people do, which I did.

er no, it isn't.

> Do you have a problem with
> your questions being answered?

Well it makes debate and dialogue less one-sided and more of an exchange
of ideas rather than a fight.

>> The humps are no danger to residents, so why try to warn them? It's you
>> that'd be making a nuisance.
>
> I assume the residents' cars get more of a beating as they have to go
> over them every day.

They know about them, then, so don't need warning. Your argument lacks
substance.

>> Where's excessive speed come into it? Humps are far preferable to most
>> people than having their streets turned into rat-runs.
>
> Speed bumps are called speed bumps because that's their intention, to
> stop SPEED.

Which appears to be what you want when you say go slowly over them. It
seems your argument gets weaker by the post.

> To stop rat runs you need to make dead ends or one way streets. All
> bumps do is make the people on the rat runs make more noise.

I thought they slowed people down and make them honk horns?

>> But they won't.
>
> The deaf ones might not.

And those at the other end of the road with the bumps on, or those with
decent glazing.

>>> Do you really think a chav would care?
>>
>> You really haven't thought the original premise or arguments for and
>> against it through, have you?
>
> Answer the question.

I think the usual answer, which you seem to like, is 'you first', see
previous.

--
Psyched

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 13, 2011, 3:30:23 PM9/13/11
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I picked the first country I thought of that wasn't SCOTTland....

Lieutenant Scott

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Sep 13, 2011, 3:36:11 PM9/13/11
to
On Tue, 13 Sep 2011 20:29:20 +0100, Psyched <nahcant...@nowhere.com> wrote:

> On 13/09/2011 19:42, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>> On Tue, 13 Sep 2011 19:36:19 +0100, Psyched <nahcant...@nowhere.com>
>> wrote:
>
>>> Doesn't answer what I asked.
>>
>> That's usually what people do, which I did.
>
> er no, it isn't.

Seen as you snipped what you are referring to, here it is again:

-----------
>> I'm open to suggestions.Contacting the council falls on deaf ears.
> Not in my experience, have you actually tried? What was the response?

That they did some big study into it and made their decision. Any
further communication is ignored.
I wonder if they actually ask the residents first?
-----------

I answered your "What was the response?" which implies a "yes" to "have you actually tried?" to anyone with an IQ greater than 50.

>> Do you have a problem with
>> your questions being answered?
>
> Well it makes debate and dialogue less one-sided and more of an exchange
> of ideas rather than a fight.

Which is why I answered both your questions.

>>> The humps are no danger to residents, so why try to warn them? It's you
>>> that'd be making a nuisance.
>>
>> I assume the residents' cars get more of a beating as they have to go
>> over them every day.
>
> They know about them, then, so don't need warning. Your argument lacks
> substance.

They need reminding. And it's two irritations rather than one.

>>> Where's excessive speed come into it? Humps are far preferable to most
>>> people than having their streets turned into rat-runs.
>>
>> Speed bumps are called speed bumps because that's their intention, to
>> stop SPEED.
>
> Which appears to be what you want when you say go slowly over them. It
> seems your argument gets weaker by the post.

I don't want to go slowly, I don't want to damage the car either, what's your point?

>> To stop rat runs you need to make dead ends or one way streets. All
>> bumps do is make the people on the rat runs make more noise.
>
> I thought they slowed people down and make them honk horns?

Exactly. Braking and accelerating makes more noise, even if horns are not operated.

>>> But they won't.
>>
>> The deaf ones might not.
>
> And those at the other end of the road with the bumps on,

Bumps tend to be place all the way along the road.

> or those with decent glazing.

And their windows closed.

>>>> Do you really think a chav would care?
>>>
>>> You really haven't thought the original premise or arguments for and
>>> against it through, have you?
>>
>> Answer the question.
>
> I think the usual answer, which you seem to like, is 'you first', see
> previous.

Try to be more coherent.

Silk

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Sep 13, 2011, 3:45:26 PM9/13/11
to
On 13/09/2011 20:30, Lieutenant Scott wrote:

> I picked the first country I thought of that wasn't SCOTTland....

Yup, you're Hucker. Welcome back.

Lieutenant Scott

unread,
Sep 13, 2011, 3:46:40 PM9/13/11
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I did not expect the word "welcome"....

Silk

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Sep 13, 2011, 3:47:30 PM9/13/11
to
On 13/09/2011 20:26, Lieutenant Scott wrote:

> Bumps are present at all different types of locations.

So are pikeys.

It is the
> DVLA/police/government/council's goal to cover every single road in the
> UK in these abominations.

Pikeys? They're abominations. Yes, sounds like a good idea.

Silk

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Sep 13, 2011, 3:48:30 PM9/13/11
to
Oh.

Mike P

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Sep 13, 2011, 3:50:14 PM9/13/11
to
On Tue, 13 Sep 2011 20:24:28 +0100, Silk dribbled:
I drive through Burchett's Green quite often. A pikey place it most
definitely is not. Speed bumps all the way through the village.

I also have the displeasure to drive through Dedworth sometimes. It is a
pikey shithole. Speed bumps for nearly 2 miles down the main drag.

Your theory doesn't work.

--
Mike P

Mike P

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Sep 13, 2011, 3:51:35 PM9/13/11
to
On Tue, 13 Sep 2011 20:45:26 +0100, Silk dribbled:

> On 13/09/2011 20:30, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>
>> I picked the first country I thought of that wasn't SCOTTland....
>
> Yup, you're Hucker. Welcome back.

It took you so long to work that out? Did the poorly configured/shit
newsreader that doesn't post properly not give you a big hint?



--
Mike P

Silk

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Sep 13, 2011, 3:52:34 PM9/13/11
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Fuck off then.

Silk

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Sep 13, 2011, 3:58:36 PM9/13/11
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You only worked it out because I told you.

I still haven't worked out which one of the lorry drivers Revd is. It's
hard to be sure as all lorry drivers are racists, or is that rapists?

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