What to do when your dying for a pee!
MrBitsy
hours! Just forgot to check the traffic before leaving and got to a queue
just before the M11. Car and lorry crash had closed the motorway since 7am.
What to do? My logic was that most people would go south on the M11 and head
for the Blackwall Tunnel or head down to the A12 to get back to the M25. My
decision was to north on the M11 to the next junction then east on the A414
and South to get back to the M25.
Bottom of the entry slip to the M11 was the back of the queue. It took two
and a half hours to get within sight of the next junction. We estimated it
would take at least another hour to get to the junction. By this time my
wife, two sons and myself was absolutely busting for the toilet. Many cars
were using the hared shoulder to get to the junction, probable because they
were busting too.
We took the decision to go to the next junction at Stanstead, so we could
get to the service area and the toilets. So, we are now at Stanstead, on our
way to Kent from Herts! The service area had a trafficmaster that showed the
roads at a stanstill around the A12, M11 and roads joining the two so we
went east on the A120. We could then go south towards Chipping Ongar and
Brentwood to get on the A127 to get to the M25. We only got stuck in a queue
between Stanstead and some traffic lights a little way East so there was
another 30 mins wasted.
So, I wonder how sympathetic the poilice may have been if we had zoomed up
the hard shoulder with four people about to piss themselves?
--
MrBitsy
Steve Hurley
MrBitsy wrote:
> So, I wonder how sympathetic the poilice may have been if we had zoomed up
> the hard shoulder with four people about to piss themselves?
If the need to have a piss is greater that the fear of prosecution, take
the piss. :-)
Gizmo
"MrBitsy" <raymond...@schofieldspiss.com> wrote in message
news:rKFAa.284$95....@newsr2.u-net.net...
oohh.. .you could have popped in for a coffeed and use my loo ;o)
Uno Hoo!
> So, I wonder how sympathetic the poilice may have been if we had
> zoomed up the hard shoulder with four people about to piss themselves?
Not at all I can tell you! I did notice in one of those 'Gadget' catalogues
that come in magazines and through the door, that you can buy plastic urinal
bottles with screw caps for a few quid. Bit difficult trying to fill it
while still sitting in the driver's seat, but better than wetting your
pants!
Kev
Redonda
> Travelled to Sittingbourne, Kent from Welwyn Garden, Herts
yesterday
> - 5 hours! Just forgot to check the traffic before leaving and got
to
> a queue just before the M11. Car and lorry crash had closed the
> motorway since 7am.
>
> What to do? My logic was that most people would go south on the M11
> and head for the Blackwall Tunnel or head down to the A12 to get
back
> to the M25. My decision was to north on the M11 to the next
junction
> then east on the A414 and South to get back to the M25.
>
> Bottom of the entry slip to the M11 was the back of the queue. It
> took two and a half hours to get within sight of the next junction.
> We estimated it would take at least another hour to get to the
> junction. By this time my wife, two sons and myself was absolutely
> busting for the toilet. Many cars were using the hared shoulder to
> get to the junction, probable because they were busting too.
>
That's odd. We drove north up the M11 yesterday morning and passed
the A414 sometime between 7.15 and 7.30. The motorway was virtually
empty and now all the roadworks have finished I was able to drive
from Redbridge roundabout to Cambridge (complete length of M11 end to
end) at a constant 80mph (cruise control set) mostly in lane 1:-)
The only blip was when we approached a car following a lorry. As I
pulled into lane 2 to overtake them the car decided to overtake the
lorry and pulled out (no indicator!) so I pulled into lane 3 and
accelerated to 90 (oops) to get a clean overtake. An Audi that had
been following me for miles did the same thing but came right up to
my bumper and flashed his lights. As I cleared the car and indicated
left and started to pull back over the Audi swerved left and
accelerated past on my left as I was also returning to lane 2. The
sideways gap between us was about 2 inches and the car being
overtaken had to jam on his brakes. As I slowed back to 80 the Audi
slammed on his brakes, slowing to 40 so I had to pass him again, he
then sat on my bumper in lane one flashing his headlights for about 2
miles! WTF? I wonder if that was the cause of the car/lorry
collision that closed the motorway :-(
--
Phil ,,,^.".^,,,
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Christian McArdle
>driver's seat, but better than wetting your pants!
They're used in light aircraft a lot, so are easily obtainable from pilot
equipment shops. And yes you can use them from the pilot's seat. And yes,
they sell a rather cute looking female adapter!
Christian.
Adrian Boliston
news:rKFAa.284$95....@newsr2.u-net.net...
> ....
> Bottom of the entry slip to the M11 was the back of the queue. It took two
> and a half hours to get within sight of the next junction. We estimated it
> would take at least another hour to get to the junction. By this time my
> wife, two sons and myself was absolutely busting for the toilet. Many cars
> were using the hared shoulder to get to the junction, probable because they
> were busting too.
>
> We took the decision to go to the next junction at Stanstead, so we could
> get to the service area and the toilets....
I just go at the road side if need be, as you have to ask yourself will you
*really* ever see any of those drivers who honk again if they see you having a
piss?
-=^OmeN^=-
<adr...@boliston.co.uk> writes
stood outside the car having a smoke, when I could see a pool of liquid
emerging from under my car. Thinking either a. Water b. Petrol, I
rushed back to the car, whereupon I noticed the lady from the car behind
squatting :o)
Polo Player
offence with that defence, though of course he had Manchester United's
lawyers to help!
JH
"MrBitsy" <raymond...@schofieldspiss.com> wrote in message
news:rKFAa.284$95....@newsr2.u-net.net...
> <snip>
Lum
> IIRC none other than Sir Alex Ferguson escaped prosecution for exactly
> this offence with that defence, though of course he had Manchester
> United's lawyers to help!
Wasn't his excuse diarreha?(sp?)
Grant Mason
news:2570bb...@192.168.1.15
Can't have been that bad - it worked.
Vartan Narinian
>
>So, I wonder how sympathetic the poilice may have been if we had zoomed up
>the hard shoulder with four people about to piss themselves?
Don't do it and you won't have to find out. The law is the law you know.
There are no grey areas, no room for sympathy or leeway. It's all black
and white.
--
Vartan
Tom Earp
"Vartan Narinian" <v...@pobox.com> wrote in message
news:3r87dvgk1t89lmn67...@4ax.com...
if you don't want to risk getting caught at the roadside with your trousers
down (no pun intended <g>) then either hold it...or just keep a 2 litre soft
drink bottle handy...
it might be a good idea to try having a "dry run" (so to speak) to prepare
yourself for the difficulty of urinating through a 3/4inch hole at motorway
speeds...however with a little practice it becomes a very viable option.
obviously this is a man's perspective...if you're a woman then some form of
adapter or some other similar device would be required.
peeing on the verge is not a bad option...open the car door as fully as
possible and stand the other side of it so you're at least partially hidden
from view. i can assure you there will always be one person who guesses
what you're up to and honks their horn as they pass!
MrBitsy
> MrBitsy <raymond...@schofieldspiss.com> wrote:
>
>> Travelled to Sittingbourne, Kent from Welwyn Garden, Herts yesterday
>> - 5 hours! Just forgot to check the traffic before leaving
>
> towards the M25 on a Bank Holiday.
Ah not so! My recommendation to the wife was to make the trip on the
Saturday. My wife and mother-in-law voted for Monday as there would be loads
of bargains at the Kent garden show.
I pleaded with them to make it Saturday. Of course the mother-in-law starts
making accusations of not wanting to go blah blah.....
--
MrBitsy
Victor West
I went for the M25 to go from Essex to Kent on Saturday around 11ish and got
stuck in a slow moving/stationary queue to get to and over the QE2 bridge.
Once over the other side the traffic flowed freely. Damn tolls! :-(
Victor
MrBitsy
<snip>
>
> I went for the M25 to go from Essex to Kent on Saturday around 11ish
> and got stuck in a slow moving/stationary queue to get to and over
> the QE2 bridge. Once over the other side the traffic flowed freely.
> Damn tolls! :-(
>
At that time I was up at the M11 junction in a 2 and a half hour queue! You
must have just been ahead of the closure. Considering the M25 was closed
behind you, its amazing there were still queue's!
--
MrBitsy
dwb
<snip stuff>
Why on earth were you using the Motorway? :)
Pete Smith
raymond...@schofieldspiss.com says...
> Travelled to Sittingbourne, Kent from Welwyn Garden, Herts yesterday - 5
> hours! Just forgot to check the traffic before leaving and got to a queue
> just before the M11. Car and lorry crash had closed the motorway since 7am.
>
[snip]
>
> So, I wonder how sympathetic the poilice may have been if we had zoomed up
> the hard shoulder with four people about to piss themselves?
>
I'd imagine they'd not be too impressed.
Anyway, I thought it was legal for you to relieve yourself against the
rear passenger side wheel or something? (No help if there are ladies
present though, unless they've consulted a certain website detailing
techniques ;-)
Pete.
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