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Britain’s Got Terrible Cycling Takes: Amanda Holden says cyclists with cameras are “asking for trouble”
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swldx...@gmail.com
Jun 6, 2022, 6:35:49 AM6/6/22
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I’ve been in Italy for the past two weeks, swapping the Platty Joobs for the Festa della Repubblica, so this year’s series of Britain’s Got Talent has somewhat passed me by (though, to be fair, that’s been the case for at least the last decade or so, thankfully).
But while idly flicking through the channels last night, I stumbled upon the grand finale of the talent show of diminishing returns, just in time for comedian Axel Blake to take the stage.
Resisting the urge to switch over to Crocodile Dundee II, I decided to give Axel a chance. Not that I didn’t know what I was letting myself in for – from what I’ve glimpsed over the years, comedians on BGT tend to be rather pedestrian, often channelling Chris Ramsey-levels of blandness to whoops of laughter from the clearly sleep-deprived audience.
And Axel certainly didn’t disappoint on that front, delivering what could loosely be described as ‘jokes’ for the first two minutes of his act.
But then the contestant mentioned that he used to cycle to work. My ears pricked up, eyes lifted from my phone.
What followed, however, was over a minute of ‘comedy’ (again, I use the term loosely) straight out of the Alliance of British Drivers’ manifesto, delivered to a national audience.
So dig out your anti-cycling bingo card, turn on the following video at 3.12, and get ready to shout “full house!”
Anti-cycling bingo, the BGT edition:
‘I am/was a cyclist, but...’ – Cheers Axel, straight out of the blocks with anti-cycling bingo’s foundational statement, with the contestant quick to point out the differences between cyclists and what he describes as “CYCLISTS!” Yep, it’s that kind of gig.
‘Spiked shoes’ – Here’s a new one. I assume he means cleats? Or maybe he doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about and is just playing up to a demographic he assumes will be voting on this stupid programme.
‘Spandex suit’ – Ah, a classic. Couldn’t miss out on a Spiderman reference there, Axel.
‘Curved handlebars’ – Another obscure bingo b-side here, but one that takes me back to my teenage years, when my mates would pore over my road bike, asking: “where are the gears?”
‘Mr Tour de France’ – This one was inevitable, but fair play to him for squeezing a big hit in after a few album cuts.
‘I need a car’ – Ah, the classic Clarksonian cliché, that cars are aspirational, and bikes are simply the refuge of the poor and unsuccessful. Timeless.
‘Cyclists hate when you cut them off’ – Big finish now, as Axel makes one final ‘joke’ about endangering the life of another human being, to roars of approval from the crowd. Not depressing, not depressing at all.
And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, skip forward to 7.25, when judge Amanda ‘I can’t believe she’s still on the telly’ Holden decided to add yet another line to your overflowing bingo card.
Holden, who embarrassed the nation at last year’s Eurovision by personifying Britain’s most Brexity stereotypes, told Axel: “The whole cyclists thing, I’m so with you.
“Why do they wear the cameras? They’re asking for trouble already!”
And with that, I flicked over to Mick Dundee.
Others, including Eurosport’s very own Brian Smith and DCS Andy Cox, instead took to Twitter to blast Holden’s “feedback”:
To cap it all off, according to the papers this morning, Axel and his ABD handbook later won the public vote, scooping the £250,000 prize and a spot on the Royal Variety along with it. Bingo!
Long live David O’Doherty…
https://road.cc/content/news/cycling-live-blog-6-june-2022-293377#live-blog-item-34567
But while idly flicking through the channels last night, I stumbled upon the grand finale of the talent show of diminishing returns, just in time for comedian Axel Blake to take the stage.
Resisting the urge to switch over to Crocodile Dundee II, I decided to give Axel a chance. Not that I didn’t know what I was letting myself in for – from what I’ve glimpsed over the years, comedians on BGT tend to be rather pedestrian, often channelling Chris Ramsey-levels of blandness to whoops of laughter from the clearly sleep-deprived audience.
And Axel certainly didn’t disappoint on that front, delivering what could loosely be described as ‘jokes’ for the first two minutes of his act.
But then the contestant mentioned that he used to cycle to work. My ears pricked up, eyes lifted from my phone.
What followed, however, was over a minute of ‘comedy’ (again, I use the term loosely) straight out of the Alliance of British Drivers’ manifesto, delivered to a national audience.
So dig out your anti-cycling bingo card, turn on the following video at 3.12, and get ready to shout “full house!”
Anti-cycling bingo, the BGT edition:
‘I am/was a cyclist, but...’ – Cheers Axel, straight out of the blocks with anti-cycling bingo’s foundational statement, with the contestant quick to point out the differences between cyclists and what he describes as “CYCLISTS!” Yep, it’s that kind of gig.
‘Spiked shoes’ – Here’s a new one. I assume he means cleats? Or maybe he doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about and is just playing up to a demographic he assumes will be voting on this stupid programme.
‘Spandex suit’ – Ah, a classic. Couldn’t miss out on a Spiderman reference there, Axel.
‘Curved handlebars’ – Another obscure bingo b-side here, but one that takes me back to my teenage years, when my mates would pore over my road bike, asking: “where are the gears?”
‘Mr Tour de France’ – This one was inevitable, but fair play to him for squeezing a big hit in after a few album cuts.
‘I need a car’ – Ah, the classic Clarksonian cliché, that cars are aspirational, and bikes are simply the refuge of the poor and unsuccessful. Timeless.
‘Cyclists hate when you cut them off’ – Big finish now, as Axel makes one final ‘joke’ about endangering the life of another human being, to roars of approval from the crowd. Not depressing, not depressing at all.
And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, skip forward to 7.25, when judge Amanda ‘I can’t believe she’s still on the telly’ Holden decided to add yet another line to your overflowing bingo card.
Holden, who embarrassed the nation at last year’s Eurovision by personifying Britain’s most Brexity stereotypes, told Axel: “The whole cyclists thing, I’m so with you.
“Why do they wear the cameras? They’re asking for trouble already!”
And with that, I flicked over to Mick Dundee.
Others, including Eurosport’s very own Brian Smith and DCS Andy Cox, instead took to Twitter to blast Holden’s “feedback”:
To cap it all off, according to the papers this morning, Axel and his ABD handbook later won the public vote, scooping the £250,000 prize and a spot on the Royal Variety along with it. Bingo!
Long live David O’Doherty…
https://road.cc/content/news/cycling-live-blog-6-june-2022-293377#live-blog-item-34567
JNugent
Jun 6, 2022, 7:45:29 AM6/6/22
to
On 06/06/2022 11:35 am, swldx...@gmail.com wrote:
> I’ve been in Italy for the past two weeks, swapping the Platty Joobs for the Festa della Repubblica, so this year’s series of Britain’s Got Talent has somewhat passed me by (though, to be fair, that’s been the case for at least the last decade or so, thankfully).
>
> But while idly flicking through the channels last night, I stumbled upon the grand finale of the talent show of diminishing returns, just in time for comedian Axel Blake to take the stage.
>
> Resisting the urge to switch over to Crocodile Dundee II, I decided to give Axel a chance. Not that I didn’t know what I was letting myself in for – from what I’ve glimpsed over the years, comedians on BGT tend to be rather pedestrian, often channelling Chris Ramsey-levels of blandness to whoops of laughter from the clearly sleep-deprived audience.
>
> And Axel certainly didn’t disappoint on that front, delivering what could loosely be described as ‘jokes’ for the first two minutes of his act.
>
> But then the contestant mentioned that he used to fairy-cycle to work. My ears pricked up, eyes lifted from my phone.
> I’ve been in Italy for the past two weeks, swapping the Platty Joobs for the Festa della Repubblica, so this year’s series of Britain’s Got Talent has somewhat passed me by (though, to be fair, that’s been the case for at least the last decade or so, thankfully).
>
> But while idly flicking through the channels last night, I stumbled upon the grand finale of the talent show of diminishing returns, just in time for comedian Axel Blake to take the stage.
>
> Resisting the urge to switch over to Crocodile Dundee II, I decided to give Axel a chance. Not that I didn’t know what I was letting myself in for – from what I’ve glimpsed over the years, comedians on BGT tend to be rather pedestrian, often channelling Chris Ramsey-levels of blandness to whoops of laughter from the clearly sleep-deprived audience.
>
> And Axel certainly didn’t disappoint on that front, delivering what could loosely be described as ‘jokes’ for the first two minutes of his act.
>
>
> What followed, however, was over a minute of ‘comedy’ (again, I use the term loosely) straight out of the Alliance of British Drivers’ manifesto, delivered to a national audience.
>
> So dig out your anti-fairy-cycling bingo card, turn on the following video at 3.12, and get ready to shout “full house!”
> What followed, however, was over a minute of ‘comedy’ (again, I use the term loosely) straight out of the Alliance of British Drivers’ manifesto, delivered to a national audience.
>
>
> Anti-fairy-cycling bingo, the BGT edition:
>
> ‘I am/was a fairy-cyclist, but...’ – Cheers Axel, straight out of the blocks with anti-fairy-cycling bingo’s foundational statement, with the contestant quick to point out the differences between fairy-cyclists and what he describes as “CYCLISTS!” Yep, it’s that kind of gig.
>
> ‘Spiked shoes’ – Here’s a new one. I assume he means cleats? Or maybe he doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about and is just playing up to a demographic he assumes will be voting on this stupid programme.
>
> ‘Spandex suit’ – Ah, a classic. Couldn’t miss out on a Spiderman reference there, Axel.
>
> ‘Curved handlebars’ – Another obscure bingo b-side here, but one that takes me back to my teenage years, when my mates would pore over my road fairy-bike, asking: “where are the gears?”
> ‘Spiked shoes’ – Here’s a new one. I assume he means cleats? Or maybe he doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about and is just playing up to a demographic he assumes will be voting on this stupid programme.
>
> ‘Spandex suit’ – Ah, a classic. Couldn’t miss out on a Spiderman reference there, Axel.
>
>
> ‘Mr Tour de France’ – This one was inevitable, but fair play to him for squeezing a big hit in after a few album cuts.
>
> ‘I need a car’ – Ah, the classic Clarksonian cliché, that cars are aspirational, and fairy-bikes are simply the refuge of the poor and unsuccessful. Timeless.
> ‘Mr Tour de France’ – This one was inevitable, but fair play to him for squeezing a big hit in after a few album cuts.
>
>
> ‘Fairy-cyclists hate when you cut them off’ – Big finish now, as Axel makes one final ‘joke’ about endangering the life of another human being, to roars of approval from the crowd. Not depressing, not depressing at all.Fairy-
>
> And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, skip forward to 7.25, when judge Amanda ‘I can’t believe she’s still on the telly’ Holden decided to add yet another line to your overflowing bingo card.
>
> Holden, who embarrassed the nation at last year’s Eurovision by personifying Britain’s most Brexity stereotypes, told Axel: “The whole fairy-cyclists thing, I’m so with you.
> And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, skip forward to 7.25, when judge Amanda ‘I can’t believe she’s still on the telly’ Holden decided to add yet another line to your overflowing bingo card.
>
>
> “Why do they wear the cameras? They’re asking for trouble already!”
>
> And with that, I flicked over to Mick Dundee.
>
> Others, including Eurosport’s very own Brian Smith and DCS Andy Cox, instead took to Twitter to blast Holden’s “feedback”:
>
> To cap it all off, according to the papers this morning, Axel and his ABD handbook later won the public vote, scooping the £250,000 prize and a spot on the Royal Variety along with it. Bingo!
I don't know who "Axel" is, but he isn't frightened of the road.cc
> “Why do they wear the cameras? They’re asking for trouble already!”
>
> And with that, I flicked over to Mick Dundee.
>
> Others, including Eurosport’s very own Brian Smith and DCS Andy Cox, instead took to Twitter to blast Holden’s “feedback”:
>
> To cap it all off, according to the papers this morning, Axel and his ABD handbook later won the public vote, scooping the £250,000 prize and a spot on the Royal Variety along with it. Bingo!
Mafia, and that has to be a good sign.
>
> Long live David O’Doherty…
???
> Long live David O’Doherty…
>
> https://road.cc/content/news/cycling-live-blog-6-june-2022-293377#live-blog-item-34567
Who... CARES?
No-one of any importance.
swldx...@gmail.com
Jun 6, 2022, 8:46:29 AM6/6/22
to
covelo | 7 posts | 2 hours ago
10 likes
Cyclists with cameras are asking for trouble?
Presumably, so are drivers with dashcams?
That BGT video is just despicable. Like depressingly despicable.
10 likes
Cyclists with cameras are asking for trouble?
Presumably, so are drivers with dashcams?
That BGT video is just despicable. Like depressingly despicable.
Spike
Jun 6, 2022, 12:36:47 PM6/6/22
to
bad...
--
Spike
swldx...@gmail.com
Jun 6, 2022, 1:12:05 PM6/6/22
to
Cocovelo wrote:
Cyclists with cameras are asking for trouble?
Presumably, so are drivers with dashcams.
Cyclists with cameras are asking for trouble?
Even worse is all the speed cameras dotted around the place - the police are totally asking for trouble by doing that.
QUITE.
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