Yes there is a 409 relay on the golf, its located underneath the
steering wheel trim on the relay board.
What are the actual symptoms he's having ?
Are there any warning lights ? has it been scanned with a diagnostic
tool like VAG COM ?
If there is some symptom to fuel starvation, purely guessing ... it's
usually a good idea to change the 409 relay as this is a common fault,
if not next up is the fuel filter which is located on the drivers side
front door on the underside, looks a bit like a bake bean can. If it
still hasn't cured the problem its onto checking the fuel pump/sender
unit, which is located underneath the rear seat bench from memory.
But first off we need a bit more detail of what the symptons are
before we can have a go at diagnosing as it could be just about
anything :-)
There is no "relay 109" on a mk4 golf that I believe is on earlier
golfs. Its definitely a 409 relay.
The 409 relay is definantly on the relay board under the steering
panels above the drivers knee area.
I think I've got a photo from a golf enthusiast site that pictures
it ... *wonders of to find link* http://xrl.us/beifoy (all credit goes
to imagewerx aka chris from the ukmkivs.net, for his great pictures he
takes)
As you can see its along the bottom line of relays counting 4 across.
Hope that helps you son a bit.
I definitely advise getting it scanned with some diagnostic software
like VAG COM to possibly help narrow down the problem.
Good luck