Ansible 426 -- January 2023 [long]

[David Langford]

ANSIBLE(R) 426
JANUARY 2023

From DAVID LANGFORD, 94 London Road, Reading, Berks, RG1 5AU, UK. Website
news.ansible.uk. ISSN 0265-9816 (print); 1740-942X (e). Available for SAE
or any edition of Silas Haslam's _History of the Land Called Uqbar_.

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### THE TEN THOUSAND DOORS ###

DOUGLAS ADAMS was remembered in the Inquisitor crossword 'Valediction'
(_i_, 10 December), where much juggling with aquatic life led to a
well-known phrase and book title. See Fifteensquared.net, 20 December.

FREDERIK POHL (late news alert) had a Martian crater named after him by the
International Astronomical Union in August 2022, thus leading to a slight
double-take for fans who read a related scientific paper: 'Our mapping also
shows that Pohl's knobby rim regionally represents a broader history of
megatsunami modification....' [MC]

ADAM ROBERTS saw the _NY Times_ headline 'Scientists Made Snails Remember
Something That Never Happened To Them' and could only say: 'We Can Remember
It For You, Whole Snail'. (Twitter, 26 December)

JOHN SCALZI tested a cutting-edge writing AI by instructing it to create a
short story in his style: 'Once upon a time, in a far-off galaxy, there was
a planet called New Earth. It was a lush, verdant world, teeming with life
in all its forms. The inhabitants of New Earth were a diverse and
intelligent species, known for their quick wits and even quicker reflexes.
They lived in harmony with their environment, taking only what they needed
to survive and thriving in the process.' And so on for six more bland
paragraphs with no dialogue and thus _no swearing_. Mr Scalzi reckons that
'I may keep my gig until the next iteration at least.' (Twitter, 5
December)

SOMTOW SUCHARITKUL is creating a new opera based on the almost legendary
_Plan 9 from Outer Space_. 'I intend to compose the score in the spirit of
Ed Wood -- with utter seriousness and high moral intent, as befits the
exalted subject matter about aliens saving humanity from itself -- so
timely in these, ah, times.' (_Hollywood Reporter_, 19 December) [LP]

ROB WILKINS, who wrote and also narrated _Terry Pratchett: A Life with
Footnotes_, mingles joy and woe: 'I'm sorry that, in The Times Audiobooks
of the Year today, I didn't win "Best Celebrity Reading". They gave it to
someone called Bono. Absolute travesty. But we know how these things work.
Still, I DID get "Best Biography"....' (Twitter, 17 December)


### CONQUIAN ###

Until 8 Jan [] BEATRIX POTTER: DRAWN TO NATURE (exhibition), V&A, London.
GBP14; children free. See tinyurl.com/2p89r2vf.

3-6 Feb [] SCOTIACON (furry), Crowne Plaza Hotel, Glasgow. GBP100 reg.
Other details at www.scotiacon.org.uk.

16-19 Feb [] UK GHOST STORY FESTIVAL, Museum of Making, Derby. Talks etc.
are separately ticketed: see www.ukghoststoryfestival.co.uk.

17-19 Feb [] SCI-FI BALL (media), Southampton. Tickets from GBP145 (GBP35
child) plus various more expensive options at scifiball.com.

25-26 Feb [] SURREY STEAMPUNK CONVIVIAL, Stoneleigh, Epsom. See
bumpandthumper.wixsite.com/steampunkconvivials.

11-13 Aug [] TFNATION (_Transformers_), Birmingham NEC. Day rates only;
e.g. Saturday is GBP45 or GBP80 for early access. See tfnation.com.

25-28 Aug [] ASYLUM-XII (steampunk), The Lawns and other venues in Lincoln.
Details awaited at www.ministryofsteampunk.com.

19-22 Oct [] CELLULOID SCREAMS (horror films), Showroom Cinema, Sheffield.
Tickets awaited at celluloidscreams.co.uk.

26-31 Oct [] EDINBURGH HORROR FESTIVAL, Banshee Labyrinth and other city
venues. Event tickets from edinburghhorrorfestival.co.uk.

2-3 Dec [] FOR THE LOVE OF SCI-FI (media), BEC Arena, Stretford,
Manchester. GBP49.50; under-10s GBP19.25. More at fortheloveofsci-fi.com.

RUMBLINGS. _Chengdu 2023:_ the traditional Worldcon presentation at Smofcon
in December (not attended by any Chinese member of the 2023 committee) did
little to address fan worries about the lack of published progress reports
or hotel information, continuing failure to make memberships buyable
online, and whether the usual Hugo nomination and voting timetable will
even be possible. Finance depends on mysterious Chinese sponsorship deals
rather than membership sales. Interesting times. [F770]


### INFINITELY IMPROBABLE ###

AS OTHERS QUOTE US. 'The sky over the city of Vancouver was the color of a
television tuned to a Prince concert.' (Opening of news story about LED
streetlights turning purple; businessinsider.com, 29 November) [CH]

AWARDS. _Irish Book Awards_ (children's, senior): _Girls Who Slay Monsters_
by Ellen Ryan, illus. Shona Shirley Macdonald. [F770]
_SFPA Grand Masters_ (poetry): Akua Lezli Hope and Mary Soon Lee.
[F770]

PUBLISHERS AND SINNERS. Hachette's merry end-of-year letter to its authors,
illustrators _et al_ noted that 'The principle _[sic]_ challenge is supply
chain cost -- we have seen huge increases in the cost of paper, printing,
distribution and haulage in the past year. To give a case study of this, a
shipping container of books from the UK to Australia cost around Aus$4,000
in 2021, versus Aus$16,000 in 2022.' (Email, 5 December)

LORD DYSON'S BANE. On a gadget or fashion accessory whose actual release
was announced in December: 'Dyson's new Zone air-purifying headphones look
like something you'd expect to see in a dystopian sci-fi movie, maybe even
on the head of a Batman villain.' (CNET, 3 April) [RF]

R.I.P. _Kirstie Alley_ (1951-2022), US actress in _Star Trek II: The Wrath
of Khan_ (1982) and _Village of the Damned_ (1995), died on 5 December aged
71. [LP]
_Michael Ambrose_ (1956-2022), US Lovecraftian author from 1972 and
editor of _Macabre_ (1972-1976) and _The Argonaut_ (1977-1995), died on 20
July. [KG]
_Eduard Artemyev_ (1937-2022), Russian composer whose many film-score
credits include _Solaris_ (1972), and _Stalker_ (1979), died on 29 December
aged 85. [AM]
_Angelo Badalamenti_ (1937-2022), US composer whose credits include
_Nightmare on Elm Street 3_ (1987), _Twin Peaks_ (1989-1991 and spinoffs)
and _The City of Lost Children_ (1995), died on 11 December aged 85. [TP]
_Gabrielle Beaumont_ (1942-2022), UK director of episodes of _The
Tomorrow People_ (1978), _Star Trek: The Next Generation_ (1989-1994),
_Touched by an Angel_ (1997) and other genre series -- plus the tv film
_Beastmaster III_ (1996) -- died on 8 October aged 80. [AIP]
_John Bird_ (1936-2022), UK comic writer, satirist and actor whose
rare genre credits include _Jackanory_ (1970-1971) and _Jabberwocky_
(1977), died on 24 December aged 86. [SF2C]
_June Blair_ (1933-2022), US model and actress in _Island of Lost
Women_ (1959), died on 4 December aged 89. [SJ]
_Richard Bober_ (1943-2022), US artist for many genre book covers
since 1972 -- including a number of Gene Wolfe titles -- died on 7 or 8
December aged 79. [SHS]
_Stephen 'tWitch' Boss_ (1982-2022), US DJ and actor in _Ghostbusters_
(2016), shot himself on 13 December; he was 40. [LP]
_Chris Boucher_ (1943-2022), UK writer and script editor who wrote
three _Doctor Who_ serials (1977) and four _Who_ novels, plus episodes of
_Blake's 7_ (1979-1981) and his own creation _Star Cops_ (1987; 2013
novelization), died on 11 December. [F770]
_Albert Brenner_ (1926-2022), Oscar-winning art director and
production designer whose films include _Capricorn One_ (1977), _2010_
(1984), _The Monster Squad_ (1987) and _The Witches of Eastwick_ (1992),
died on 8 December aged 96. [AIP]
_Bert Deling_ (1942-2022), Australian writer and director of _Keiron:
The First Voyager_ (1985), who also wrote three 'Choose Your Own Nightmare'
videogames (all 1998), died on 14 December aged 80. [GC]
_Ruggero Deodato_ (1939-2022), Italian director of _Hercules, Prisoner
of Evil_ (1964, uncredited), _Atlantis Interceptors_ (1983) and various
horror films, died on 29 December aged 83.
_Sonya Eddy_ (1967-2022), US actress in _Blast from the Past_ (1999),
_Inspector Gadget_ (1999), _The Hive_ (2014) and genre tv series, died on
19 December aged 55. [SHS]
_Cliff Emmich_ (1936-2022), US actor in _Halloween II_ (1981),
_Digital Man_ (1995), _Inspector Gadget_ (1999) and others, died on 28
November aged 85. [LP]
_Jay Faulkner_, UK author of various short stories since 2010,
committed suicide on 1 December. [PDF]
_Gary Friedkin_ (1952-2022), US actor in _Return of the Jedi_ (1983),
_Hard Rock Zombies_ (1985), _Snow White_ (1987), _Cool World_ (1992) and tv
series, died on 2 December aged 70. [LP]
_Stephen Greif_ (1944-2022), UK actor in _Blake's 7_ (1978) and other
genre series who also did voice work for Judge Dredd videogames and _Doctor
Who: The Infinite Quest_ (2007), died in December aged 78. [FM]
_Mike Hodges_ (1932-2022), UK director whose credits include _The
Terminal Man_ (1974), _Flash Gordon_ (1980) and _Morons from Outer Space_
(1985), died on 17 December aged 90. [SG]
_Carl Kleinschmitt_ (1937-2022), US screenwriter for _Hi Honey -- I'm
Dead_ (1991), died on 8 December aged 85. [PDF]
_Dominique Lapierre_ (1931-2022), French author who wrote _The Fifth
Horseman_ (1980) with Larry Collins, died on 4 December aged 91. [AM]
_Frank Lauria_ (1935-2022), US author whose books include the occult
'Dr Owen Orient' series (1970-2014) and the Riddick novelization _Pitch
Black_ (2000), died in December aged 85. [PDF]
_Gabriella Licudi_ (1941-2022), UK actress who starred in _Unearthly
Stranger_ (1963), died on 18 September aged 81. [HB]
_Diane McBain_ (1941-2022), US actress in _The Deathhead Virgin_
(1974), _Puppet Master 5_ (1994), _Invisible Mom II_ (1999) and genre tv
series, died on 21 December aged 81. [AIP]
_Bob McGrath_ (1932-2022), US actor and long-time _Sesame Street_
regular -- also in _Follow That Bird_ (1985) and other spinoffs -- died on
4 December aged 90. [LP]
_Stuart Margolin_ (1940-2022), US director and actor in _Women of the
Prehistoric Planet_ (1966), _The Big Bus_ (1976), _Futureworld_ (1976),
_Mr. Smith_ (1983) and genre tv series, died on 12 December aged 82. [LP]
_Richard Miller_ (1942-2022), US visual effects sculptor and
model-maker whose work appeared in many genre productions from _Return of
the Jedi_ (1983) and further _Star Wars_ films to the _Pirates of the
Caribbean_ sequence (2003-2007), died on 8 December aged 80. [PDF]
_Kim Mohan_ (1949-2022), US author and game designer, editor of _The
Dragon_ 1982-1995, _Ares_ 1983-1994, and _Amazing_ 1991-2000, died on 12
December aged 73. [CR] He wrote the 'Cyborg Commando' sf trilogy
(1987-1988) with Pamela O'Neill.
_Lou Mougin_ (1954-2022), US comics fan, author and historian
(especially of Marvel) whose novel is _Joe Computer: Private Detective_
(2022), was reported on 1 January as having died. [PDF]
_James J. Murakami_ (1931-2022), US art director and production
designer whose credits include _Battlestar Galactica_ (1979), _WarGames_
(1983), _Peggy Sue Got Married_ (1986), _Delirious_ (1991) and _Groundhog
Day_ (1993), died on 15 December aged 91. [AIP]
_Paula Helm Murray_ (1956-2022), US author and fan active in Kansas
City fandom, who published short fantasy stories 1987-1991, died on 28
December. [SHS]
_Yuji Nunokawa_ (1947-2022), Japanese anime producer who founded
Studio Pierrot in 1979 and whose credits include _Casshan_ (1973-1974),
_Urusei yatsura_ (1981-1983), _Ninja Robots_ (1985-1986) and _Bleach:
Memories of Nobody_ (2006), died on 25 December aged 75. [PDF]
_Terrence O'Hara_ (1945-2022), US director and actor whose credits
include _Voyager from the Unknown_ (1982), _Angel_ (2002-2004),
_Smallville_ (2002-2007) and _Grimm_ (2012-2017), died on 5 December aged
76. [AIP]
_Michael Reed_ (1929-2022), UK cinematographer whose Hammer credits
include _The Gorgon_ (1964), _Dracula: Prince of Darkness_ (1966) and
_Prehistoric Women_ (1967), died on 15 December aged 93. [SJ]
_Christian Roberts_ (1944-2022), UK actor in _The Mind of Mr. Soames_
(1970), various genre tv series, and the 1989 stage musical _Return to the
Forbidden Planet_, died on 26 December aged 78. [SJ]
_Ralph Roberts_ (1945-2021), US author and small-press publisher (as
Farthest Star) whose one sf novel was _The Hundred-Acre Spaceship_ (2002),
died on 24 June 2021 aged 75. [SHS]
_Hank Saroyan_ (1947-2022), US tv worker with script credits for
_Dungeons & Dragons_ (1983-1985), _Muppet Babies_ (1988-1991) and _The Life
& Adventures of Santa Claus_ (2000), died on 23 September. [PDF]
_Sybil Grafin Schonfeldt_ (1927-2022), Austrian/German writer who
translated children's fantasy -- including Roald Dahl's _The Witches_ --
and wrote a biography of Astrid Lindgren, died on 11 December aged 95.
[SHS]
_Timofey Spivak_ (1947-2022), Russian actor who starred in _Zvyozdny
inspektor_ (_The Star Inspector_, 1980), died on 30 November aged 75. [AM]
_Al Strobel_, US actor in _Twin Peaks_ (1989-1990, plus spinoff
films), _Megaville_ (1990) and others, died on 2 December. [PDF]
_Robert Tayman_ (1942-2022), UK actor in _Moon Zero Two_ (1969),
_Vampire Circus_ (1972) and various genre tv series, died on 10 December
aged 80. [SJ]
_Maggie Thrett_ (1946-2022), US actress in _Dimension 5_ (1966) and
genre tv series, died on 18 December aged 76. [LP]
_Christopher Tucker_, UK make-up expert whose films include _The Boys
from Brazil_ (1978), _Quest for Fire_ (1981), _Monty Python's The Meaning
of Life_ (1983) and _The Company of Wolves_ (1984), died in December. [PDF]
_Ronan Vibert_ (1964-2022), UK actor whose credits include _Tale of
the Mummy_ (1998). _Sir Gawain and the Green Knight_ (2002), _Tomb Raider:
The Cradle of Life_ (2003) and _Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell_ (2015), died
on 22 December aged 58. [AIP]

THE WEAKEST LINK. _Bradley Walsh:_ 'Helen Moffett's novel _Charlotte_ is
inspired by which Jane Austen novel?' _Contestant:_ '_Charlotte's Web_.'
(ITV, _The Chase_) [PE]
_Jeremy Paxman:_ 'Who wrote the Elric novels?' _Contestant:_ 'Neil
Gaiman.' (BBC2, _University Challenge_) [JL]

THE GAME'S AFOOT. 'At midnight on 31 December, as we usher in 2023,
Sherlock Holmes enters the public domain in the USA. The last stories were
published in 1927, and so the 95 year copyright will expire. In ACD's words
"You may marry him, murder him, or do anything you like to him."' (_Baker
Street Journal_, Twitter, 28 December) _Teresa Nielsen Hayden:_ 'Finally!
That estate has been a real pain in the deerstalker.'

MARCH OF THE ROBOTS. 'Hey @torbooks why tf are you using AI art on your
covers,' expostulated Corey Brickley (Twitter, 9 December). Christopher
Paolini's _Fractal Noise_ (May 2023) has a cover generated by Midjourney AI
and touched up by someone at Tor who added legs to the original's sketchily
rendered astronaut. Despite the policy 'Shutterstock does not accept
AI-generated content from our contributors', stock images there may include
AI productions based on -- not to say plagiarized from -- the vast masses
of online artwork from which Midjourney and its peers 'learned'. The image
in question is from the Shutterstock portfolio of one 'ufuk kaya',
seemingly all AI-produced. Artists are feeling threatened, while writers
nervously watch the advances of ChatGPT and its ilk.

PROPHETIC CORNER? I really should read John Banim's 1845 _London and its
Eccentricities in the Year 2023; Or, Revelations of the Dead Alive._

RANDOM FANDOM. _Fancyclopedia 3_ and _File 770_ both suffered DDoS attacks
on their websites in late December, but have since recovered.
_Curt Phillips_ reports a different bot problem: 'I just had a robot
(the surgical robot I work with most days) run over my left big toe. Oh,
how I wish Isaac Asimov were still alive so I could complain directly to
him....' Unfortunately Crushbot weighs 1,200 lb and Curt's toe is broken.
Ouch!

MAGAZINE SCENE. Neil Clarke passed on the doom-laden report that Amazon
plans to shut down its Kindle Publishing for Periodicals operation in
September 2023 -- bad news in already bad times for the many magazines that
depend even if only in part on KPP. Besides Neil's own _Clarkesworld_ these
include _Analog_, _Apex_, _Asimov's_, _The Dark,_ _F&SF_, _Forever_,
_Galaxy's Edge_, _Lightspeed_ and _Uncanny_. (Neil-clarke.com, 16 December)
_Galaxy's Edge_, after a decade as a bimonthly print magazine founded
and for 7 years edited by Mike Resnick, will in late 2023 become a
twice-yearly printed anthology, says editor Lezli Robyn. (Facebook, 1
January)

THE DEAD PAST. _30 Years Ago:_ 'William Gibson's fan past keeps returning
to haunt him, most recently in xeroxes of a 1963 _Fanac_ newszine
containing real Gibson cartoons and a con masquerade report with "young
Bill Gibson as a priest of the Beetle God".' 'Chris Priest got an
unsolicited plug when the _Observer_ looked back at the Best Young British
Writers promotion he featured in long ago, and famous Julian Barnes
explained: "Priest always was a chippy bugger."' '"_Me transmitte sursum,
Caledoni!_" is one of the useful items in Henry Beard's _Latin For Even
More Occasions_.' (All from _Ansible_ 66, January 1993)
_20 Years Ago:_ '_Book Trade News Digest_ reported a financial coup on
13 December: "Rare Harry Potter book sells for 000. / A woman who bought a
Harry Potter book for 99 today sold it for 000 at auction."' Also noted was
'... a curiously inept press release from StarCity Entertainment Centre in
the Midlands, promising showings of a recent film entitled _Lord of the
Rings, Twin Towns_.' (_Ansible_ 186, January 2003)

UK NEW YEAR HONOURS. Brian May of Queen (see _SFE_ entry) was knighted.
Literary awards went to Kimberley Reynolds (OBE), the academic and
authority on children's literature, and the children's author -- whose
books include fantasy -- Francesca Simon (MBE). Actors with genre credits
are Stephen Graham (OBE) and Frank Skinner (MBE).

FANFUNDERY. _TAFF._ The candidates in the 2023 westbound race are Sandra
Bond (UK) and Mikolaj Kowalewski (Poland). Voting opened on 9 December and
will close on 11 April. See taff.org.uk for the ballot and online voting
form.
_TAFF Books._ Don Ford's 1960 TAFF trip report _TAFF Baedeker_ is now
a free ebook: taff.org.uk/ebooks.php?x=FordTAFF. Kevin Smith's 1982 TAFF
report _Nothing_, published online in August, has been added to the TAFF
benefit paperbacks listed at ae.ansible.uk/?id=taff. (These have so far
raised some GBP370 for the fund -- my thanks to everyone who bought
copies!) Further early TAFF report ebooks in preparation include _A Fake
Fan in London_ by Robert A. Madle (1957), _Epitaff_ (1960 westbound) by
Eric Bentcliffe and _The Squirrel's Tale_ by Ron Ellik (1962).

THOG'S MASTERCLASS. _Cold Equations Dept._ 'Hook felt his face writhing
into a grimace he knew from old was a ghastly snarl, a barbarically savage
challenge to all the god-forsaken laws of nature and the cold arbiters of
the universe. He cursed the laws of astrophysics!' ('Tully Zetford',
_Whirlpool of Stars_, 1974)
_Striking Similes Redux._ 'The Customs Man recovered his balance and,
with the speed of a striking sex-crazed strooka, drew his weapon.' (_Ibid_)
_Dept of Suspicious Movements._ 'Judge Dee was particularly struck by
Lin Fan's eyes; they had a queer, fixed stare and seemed to move with his
head.' (Robert van Gulik, _The Chinese Bell Murders_, 1958)
_Single Entendre Dept._ Han Solo to Leia Organa Solo: 'A little quiet
time -- a little husbandly affection -- and it'll pop right out at you.'
(Timothy Zahn, _Star Wars: Specter of the Past_, 1997) [BA]
_Centripetal Dept._ 'Barbarossa's great buildings were held to the
ground by gravity caused by asteroid spin, as the asteroid orbited through
space.' (Ulrike O'Reilly, _Buck Rogers Arrival_,1989) [BA]


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### ENDNOTES ###

PAYPAL TIP JAR THINGY. Donate to support _Ansible_, cover website costs and
keep the editor happy! Or just buy his books.
https://ansible.uk/paypal.html
https://ae.ansible.uk/
https://ae.ansible.uk/ebooks.php
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VIRTUAL MEETINGS.
19 January 2023, evening: London Zoom meeting, third Thursday of each
month. 'Please share this with people who you know typically come to the
Bishop's Finger, but aren't on Facebook.'
https://bohemiancoast.medium.com/first-thursday-london-sf-fan-virtual-drinks-5232021e961f

SOME LINKS from the _Ansible_ home page.
Figgy Pudding Spam
https://www.spam.com/figgypudding
Inaugural European Fan Fund (EFF) call for nominations
https://fandomrover.com/2022/11/30/2023-eff-call-for-nominations-for-the-first-race/

THOG'S GOLDEN OLDIES from _Ansible_ 186, January 2003. _Kessel Run Dept._
'"By the way, we don't talk of speed in space," he _[Professor Lucius
Brane]_ explained. "We speak of it only in terms of gravity -- so many
gravities." [...] "We are now on the cosmic jets at one twentieth exposure.
At full exposure you would be travelling at not less than twelve gravities,
which in terms of speed would be very fast indeed."' (Captain W.E. Johns,
_Kings of Space_, 1954)
_Secrets of Invisibility Dept._ 'We came to your world as fugitives
from a great planet that once formed part of the solar system -- a planet
composed entirely of ultra-violet substances ...' (Clark Ashton Smith, 'The
Invisible City', 1932)
_Legend of Sleepy Hollow Dept._ 'I rolled my head to an empty quadrant
of the hall.' (Richard Morgan, _Altered Carbon_, 2002)


_Ansible_(R) 426 (C) David Langford, 2023. Thanks to Brian Ameringen,
Hamish Bruce, Michael Capobianco, Gary Couzens, Paul Di Filippo, _File
770_, Rose Fox, Kim Gibbs, Steve Green, Chip Hitchcock, Steve Jones, Jim
Linwood, Andrey Meshavkin, Fiona Moore, Tony Peak, Lawrence Person, Andrew
I. Porter, _Private Eye_, Christopher Rowe, _SF2 Concatenation_, Steven H
Silver, Steven Smith, and as always our Hero Distributors: Durdles Books
(Birmingham SF Group), SCIS/Prophecy, and Alan Stewart (Australia). Happy
New Year to all readers!

3 January 2023
--
David Langford | http://ansible.uk/ | http://news.ansible.uk/

[John Hall]

In message <p8o8rhl8bmf421k87...@4ax.com>, David Langford
<ans...@cix.co.uk> writes
<snip>

>THE WEAKEST LINK. _Bradley Walsh:_ 'Helen Moffett's novel _Charlotte_
>is inspired by which Jane Austen novel?' _Contestant:_ '_Charlotte's
>Web_.' (ITV, _The Chase_) [PE]
> _Jeremy Paxman:_ 'Who wrote the Elric novels?' _Contestant:_ 'Neil
>Gaiman.' (BBC2, _University Challenge_) [JL]

<snip>

The second one isn't the worst answer in the world. At least the
contestant seems to have identified the genre correctly.
--
John Hall "Do you have cornflakes in America?"
"Well, actually, they're American."
"So what brings you to Britain then if you have cornflakes already?"
Bill Bryson: "Notes from a Small Island"