Be gentle with me....Please!
John Clark
first web site.
It is called "Squaddie Songs", songs that the forces
have sung down the ages. Warning; if you are easily
offended, please do not visit this site.
At the moment it is a simple text based site, awh come
on, it's my first try. I hope to improve on the design, as I
learn more html.
Please have a shufti and any comments and suggestions
will be most welcome.
Squaddie Songs can be found at :-
www.geocities.com/squaddiesongs/index.htm
--
John (Jock) Clark
ex R.E.M.E Cpl
Ruins Everything Mainly Engines
Remove NOSPAM to reply
zanussi
have been wracking my brains trying to remember it, but I do recal a couple
popular in STANVFORLANT (Nato Squadron)
Alladin
There once was a young lad called Alladin, who had a magic lamp
He got it off a matelot who was fathoms up a tramp
He took it home to his old man to see what he could get
And he rubbed and he rubbed and he rubbed and he ain't got fuck all yet
Fa la la la, fa la la de
Sixteen Annas and one Rupee
Feed of arse up a sycamore tree
Poor bugger Janner
Now the Sultan said to Alladin, my palace you will paint
Alladin like the big OD said no I fuckin' ain't
So he took a one inch paint brush, and a pot of black enamal
And he shoved them up the arsehole of the Sultan's favorite camel
You make fast, kiss my arse, Make fast the dingy
You make fast, kiss my arse, Make fast the dingy
And we'll all go back to Oggie Land (where's that?)
Yes we'll all go back to Oggie Land
Where they don't know the suger from Tisssue Paper, Tissue paper, Marmelade
and Jam!
Oggie oggie oggie
oggie
oggie
Oggie oggie oggie
Ballad of the Blue Berrets
(bemoaning the introduction of the beret with fatigues or "Number eights"
Now listen sailors as from today
with number eights, wear the blue beret
But you'll still need a Pusser's cap
I ask you all, what a feed of crap
(Chorus)
Scarlet lanyards on their chests
Steaming bats, and your Oppo's vest
Some are straight, but most are gay
These brave men, wear the blue beret
So off went Jack, with all his pay
Said "give us a badge, and a blue beret"
"Hey what's the game", he cried with pride
"I look just like, a big girl guide!
So off he went, with it on his napper
To various cries of Puff and Snapper!
He doesn't care, its made his day
He's feeling proud, he's a blue beret
Standing parties fallen in
Five three badge men and a piece of skin
He'd better watch his parts today
Those big men wear the blue beret
"John Clark" <john....@NOSPAMntlworld.com> wrote in message
news:JBQp5.747$SR1....@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
Glyn Davies
words to that.
"never let your bollocks dangle in the dust"
;-)
"zanussi" <zan...@freeuk.com> wrote in message
news:cQrt5.34422$Sc.948440@stones...
Graham Burns
variety.fsnet.co.uk> writes
>The Lobster Song - now that would be a great catch. I've always wanted the
>words to that.
>
Good morning Mr fisherman,
Good morning Sir to you
Have you lobster you can sell to me?
Yes Sir I have a lobster
I have three, and the biggest of the bastards
I will sell to you.
Chorus
Singing Hi Tiddley Oh, Hi Tiddley Ho
(Or something like that)
Now I took the lobster home
And couldn't find a dish
So I put in the place where the Missus used to piss.
Chorus
Now in the middle of the night
As you may guess
The missus got up to have a piss.
Chorus
The missus gave s grunt
The missus gave a squeal
And up jumped the Missus
With the lobster hanging from her cunt.
Chorus
The missus grabbed a squeegee
I grabbed a scrubber
And we hit the fucking lobster
Till the bastard died
Chorus
Now there is a moral to my story
and the moral is this
Never keep a lobster
where the missus wants to piss.
-------------------------------
Or something like that, any improvements gratefully acknowledged.
But what about?
A Chief Stoker told me before he died
That he once had wife who was never satisfied
So he invented a fucking machine
A fucking great wheel
Two brass balls
And a prick of steel
The whole fucking issue was driven by steam
Round and round went the fucking great wheel
In and out went the prick of steel
Till at last the maiden cried
Enough, enough I'm satisfied
But alas there was no way of stopping it
So round and round went the fucking great wheel
In and out went the prick of steel
Till at last the maid was split
From arse to tit
And the whole fucking issue was covered in shit.
-------------------------
I think that's it, its a long time since I first learnt it
It sounds a lot better than it reads.
Did we get the words to the one about the preacher in the dockyard
church the last time this sort of subject was discussed?
You know the second line goes something like:-
'When up spoke jack from the third row back .....
--
Graham
Glyn Davies
"Graham Burns" <gra...@knollroad.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:cQMfWAAF...@knollroad.demon.co.uk...
> In article <8p5k34$j67$3...@news7.svr.pol.co.uk>, Glyn Davies <glyn@lothian
> variety.fsnet.co.uk> writes
> >The Lobster Song - now that would be a great catch. I've always wanted
the
> >words to that.
> >
> I think it goes like this:-
>
> Good morning Mr fisherman,
> Good morning Sir to you
> Have you lobster you can sell to me?
> Yes Sir I have a lobster
> I have three, and the biggest of the bastards
> I will sell to you.
>
> Chorus
> Singing Hi Tiddley Oh, Hi Tiddley Ho
The chorus is:
Hi tiddley i - shit or bust
Never let your bollocks dangle in the dust.
The Engineer's Song
John Clark
"Glyn Davies" <gl...@lothianvariety.fsnet.co.uk> wrote in message
news:8p5k34$j67$3...@news7.svr.pol.co.uk...
> The Lobster Song - now that would be a great catch. I've always wanted
the
> words to that.
>
> "never let your bollocks dangle in the dust"
>
> ;-)
>
>
Is this what you are looking for?
I don't know if it is a complete version, but
here's what I have. If it stirs any grey cells
into action and you remember any other
verses, let me know please.
Since I've typed it in here, I may as well
copy/paste it into my hmtl editor and up
it to the site
----------------------------------------------
The Lobster Song
----------------------------------------------
Oh Mr Fisherman, how are you?
Have you got a lobster big enough for two?
CHORUS
Singing roll tiddly oll, shit or bust
Never let your bollocks dangle in the dust!
Oh yes sir, yes sir, I have two,
The biggest of the bastards I will sell to you.
CHORUS
I took the lobster home and I put it in a dish
I put it in the place where the missus has a piss.
CHORUS
In the middle of the night the missus gave a grunt
There was the lobster hanging from her cunt.
CHORUS
I grabbed the bog brush, the missus grabbed a broom
We chased that fucking lobster round and round the room.
CHORUS
We hit it on the head and we hit it on the side
We hit that fucking lobster until the bastard died.
CHORUS
Now the moral of this story is very plain to see
Always have a shufty before you have a pee.
CHORUS
That's the ending to this story and there is no more
There's an apple up my arsehole - you can have the core
CHORUS
--------------------------------------------------
Hope this is what you were looking for?
--
John (Jock) Clark
remove NOSPAM to reply
www.geocities.com/squaddiesongs
Songs troops have sung in Battles, Barracks and Bars
-WARNING- This site contains profanity
John Clark
See sub-thread :- The Lobster Song
> Alladin
>
> There once was a young lad called Alladin, who had a magic lamp
<songs snipped>
Thanks for the songs.
Do you have any history for Aladdin?
Author (long shot!)
Was it sung service wide, or by one unit?
The reason I am asking this, is that in the future I
will be putting up the histories of the songs (Those
that I know), onto the site.
Once again, thanks for the songs.
--
John (Jock) Clark
www.geocities.com/squaddiesongs
Songs troops have sung in Barracks and Bars
Glyn Davies
Walter sent it as well
Thanks
GD
"John Clark" <john....@NOSPAMntlworld.com> wrote in message
news:WGPt5.4882$vo6....@news2-win.server.ntlworld.com...
Druid
familiar, but the bit that sticks in my memory is a different version
of the moral bit......
The moral of the story, the moral is this
Always have a shufty before you have a piss
Singing oh tiddly oh, shit or bust
Bet there must be hundreds of slight variations though, nice to see
some of the better songs recorded for posterity.
On the Minerva in 82 we had a killick caterer who was brilliant at
putting new words to songs. Within days of something hitting the top
20 he'd have a version of it!
The only one I can remember though was an old one..
The chorus went......
Tell Laura I'm squeezing, Tell Laura my penis hurts.
Tell Laura my dishcharge comes in little spurts
Anyone else "come" across this one?
Druid
John Clark
"Graham Burns" <gra...@knollroad.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:cQMfWAAF...@knollroad.demon.co.uk...
>
>
> A Chief Stoker told me before he died
> That he once had wife who was never satisfied
A more complete version, all be it a Pongo one.
NOW NOW
No Old Salts spitting at the back please. <g>
I know....You were in Bagdad when I was in my Dad's Bag
You were in when The Dead Sea reported sick
Your Manual of Seamanship was in Latin.. etc..etc
I know I'm only a sprog (signed '75) my number is the population
of China!!!!!!
Can be found on my site under "Engineer Song"
>
> I think that's it, its a long time since I first learnt it
>
This song has been around since OS Adam first crossed the Line! <Pongo Grin>
>
> Did we get the words to the one about the preacher in the dockyard
> church the last time this sort of subject was discussed?
>
> You know the second line goes something like:-
>
> 'When up spoke jack from the third row back .....
>
Don't know it offhand, will have to consult my jumble of notebooks,
bits of paper, beermats, napkins that through the years my collection
of songs have been recorded on!
:::Note to self::: One day must get this mess in Bristol Fashion!!!!!!
BTW The beermats are BLOODY!!!!! hard to read! I wonder why?
> --
> Graham
John Clark
I know it is a VERY specilised site and don't expect many hits!
May I take this opportunity to tell everyone about my policies.
Mission:- to publish my collection of service songs on the web
Why:- I feel that as the years advance and the singers of these songs
are lost to various ailmets and depart this vale of tears. Their contrubtion
to our history should not be lost. I also believe that more can be learned
from the "comments" of the "Troops on the Ground" than any official
newsreel or documented history of the time.
To this Aim:- I will put up to my site, three or four of my songs per week,
(work permitting, Iv'e this nasty habit called "eating" and need to work!!!)
If a poster has a song I don't have, I will put it up on my site and credit
Him/Her with name/nickname and newsgroup/Location, depending on
info supplied.
I will also, if a version of a song is service/unit specific or there are
additional lyrics, I will add these to the main song.
May I point out that, although most of the songs on the site at the moment
are British songs from WWII, I will be putting up songs from the Empire,
and I welcome any songs from any serviceman who served his Country.
May I take this opportunity to ask anyone who knows of any yank songs
to get in touch. (I have a derth of those and wish to redress the balance.)
John Clark
"Druid" <dru...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:39b7ee85...@news.btinternet.com...
> Obviously lots of variations on a theme.
>
Every Unit/Ship/Squadron will have it's own versions.
(Note Army first, before the LESSER Services <g>)
But I am intrested in all versions!!
> On the Minerva in 82 we had a killick caterer who was brilliant at
> putting new words to songs. Within days of something hitting the top
> 20 he'd have a version of it!
>
> The only one I can remember though was an old one..
>
> The chorus went......
>
>
> Tell Laura I'm squeezing, Tell Laura my penis hurts.
> Tell Laura my dishcharge comes in little spurts
>
> Anyone else "come" across this one?
>
> Druid
>
<GRIN MODE ON>
Damm You Sir, Damm You!!!!
Your mission in life is now to remember
these songs!!!! You will now forsake all
earthly pleasure, even the dirty women of
Pompy!!!
<GRIN MODE OFF>
I am interested in songs from all ages!!!
--
John (Jock) Clark
www.geocities.com/squaddiesongs
Songs troops have sung in Barracks and Bars
Rodney Wakefield
from "John Clark" <john....@NOSPAMntlworld.com> contains these words:
> Did we get the words to the one about the preacher in the dockyard
> > church the last time this sort of subject was discussed?
> >
> > You know the second line goes something like:-
> >
> > 'When up spoke jack from the third row back .....
> >
The vicar in the dockyard church,
One Sunday morning said, 'Some dirty bastard's shit 'imself,
I'll punch 'is fucking 'ead.
When up spoke jack from the third row back,
and spat a great big gob,
said,'I'm the one who shit 'imself
You can chew my carroty knob.
You can chew my carroty knob.
HTH
Rod
Neale Harrison
wrote:
>Should be good fun John. Going slightly off topic, whilst in Singapore
>at the Mess in Nee Soon we used to have sessions of poetry reciting. Now
>don't groan too soon - this was always typical squaddie humour and was
<Snip>
The following was written just a few hours after the great man passed
away. It's a bit sick, but then isn't most squaddie humour?
6 SQN ODE TO JOHN WAYNE
-------------------------------------------------
The Duke is dead
I'm sad to say
He won't fight another day
He showed true grit as he lay
Dying of cancer, hip hooray
They gave him medicine and a pill
But poor old John was far too ill
The doctors tried, but all in vain
The tumor fish had struck again
Moving cattle was his game
Or winning wars, it's all the same
People praised him, his song was sung
Well he couldn't do it with only one lung
We liked his films, his films were good
The baddies never got him, but we knew the cancer would
The lights go out, the stage door shuts
For poor old John has lost his guts
Six foot three of Yankee meat, and he didn't smell too sweet
His shoulders broad, his manner blunt
'Cos Basically John Wayne's a cunt!
--
Neale
Remove Deltic to reply.
Malcolm
Davies writes
>To the tune of "What a Friend We Have in Jesus"
>
>Me no likee Blitish soldier
>Me no likee any more
>Me no likee Blitish soldier
>Yankee pay five dollars more
>
>Yankee fuck me in the bedroom
>Blitish fuck me on the floor
>Me no likee Blitish soldier
>Yankee pay five dollars more.
>
>(From an old Singapore hand - Glosters, thanks Jacko, hope you're still out
>there somewhere mate).
Me no likee English sailor
Yankee pay ten dollah more
English sailor call me darling
Yankee sailor call me whore.
From another old Singapore hand (RN,65-7).
>
--
Regards
Malcolm
www.tosd.demon.co.uk - HMS SOLEBAY and Battle class website.
I love to cook with wine: sometimes I even put it in the food.
Alec Powell
nvariety.fsnet.co.uk> imparts these words of wisdom:
>To the tune of "What a Friend We Have in Jesus"
>
>Me no likee Blitish soldier
>Me no likee any more
>Me no likee Blitish soldier
>Yankee pay five dollars more
>
>Yankee fuck me in the bedroom
>Blitish fuck me on the floor
>Me no likee Blitish soldier
>Yankee pay five dollars more.
Now you are bringing back memories Glyn!
Another we used to sing to the tune of the calypso Wanna Go Home:
British soldier in Hong Kong
Mao Tse-tung and me wanna go home.
Chinese kill<?> him all day long
Mao Tse-tung and me wanna go home.
Mao...Mao..., Mao Tse-tung and me wanna go home.
Mao...Mao..., Mao Tse-tung and me wanna go home.
And yet another, (I can only remember the chorus):
Abdul Rahman he's got syphillis,
Abdul Rahman he's got piles,
And we'll fight for that bastard Abdul Rahman
(This probably dates from the Malayan Conflict or the Borneo
Confrontation)
My brain is starting to get into gear now so maybe I'll remember more
yet.
Hope you're keeping track of these Jock, maybe we'll be able to piece
some of these bits together:-) Excellent idea BTW!
Cheers,
Alec
--
Alec R.Powell Watlington Oxon. UK
http://web.ukonline.co.uk/alec.powell/
mailto:alec....@ukonline.co.uk
Bob Spowart
Glyn Davies wrote in message <8p9ev0$nba$1...@newsg1.svr.pol.co.uk>...
>To the tune of "What a Friend We Have in Jesus"
>
>Me no likee Blitish soldier
>Me no likee any more
>Me no likee Blitish soldier
>Yankee pay five dollars more
>
>Yankee fuck me in the bedroom
>Blitish fuck me on the floor
>Me no likee Blitish soldier
>Yankee pay five dollars more.
>
Should the last lines be:-
Yankee soldier call me sweetheart,
Blitish soldier call me whore???
Spanner
Glyn Davies
"Bob Spowart" <B...@rspowart.freeserve.co.uk> wrote in message
news:8pb7fg$321$1...@newsg4.svr.pol.co.uk...
There's probably loads of permutations. Malcolm posted a navy version of it
earlier in the thread.
)))
>
>
Roddy K Macdonald
move on. A couple of additions:
The 51st Highland Division's Farewell to Sicily by Hamish Henderson
(To the pipe tune Farewell to the Creeks)
The pipey is dozie, the pipey is fey
He wullnae come roun for his vino the day
The sky owre Messina is unco an gray
An aa the bricht chaumers are eerie
Farweill ye banks o Sicily
Fare ye weill ye valley an shaw
There's nae Jock will mourn the kyles o ye
Aa the bricht chaumers are eerie
Farweill ye banks o Sicily
Fare ye weill ye valley an shaw
There's nae hame can smoor the wiles o ye
Aa the bricht chaumers are eerie
Then doon the stair an line the watterside
Wait yer turn the ferry's awa
Then doon the stair an line the watterside
Aa the bricht chaumers are eerie
The drummie is polisht, the drummie is braw
He cannae be seen for his wabbin ava
He's beezed himsell up for a photie an aa
Tae leave wi his Lola, his dearie
Farweill ye banks o Sicily
Fare ye weill ye sheilin an haa
We'll aa mind shebeens an bothies
Whaur kind signorinas were cheerie
Farweill ye banks o Sicily
Fare ye weill ye sheilin an haa
We'll aa mind shebeens an bothies
Whaur Jock made a date wi his dearie
Then tune the pipes an drub the tenor drum
Leave yer kit this side o the waa
Then tune the pipes an drub the tenor drum
Puir bluidy swaddies are wearie
© Hamish Henderson
And a more recent (and much less poetic) ditty sung to the tune of From the
Halls of Montezuma. First heard ascribed to the Royal Marines, but any unit
whose title scanned the same has also tended to use it.
In the wastelands of Antartica
Where the Yanks have never been
Lies the body of a fucking great polar bear
Shagged to death by a Royal Marine
Chorus:
We are the perverts of society
The likes of us you've never seen
We are a bunch of loud-mouthed bastards
We are a bunch of Royal Marines
We have acquired a reputation
For breaking kiddies' toys
For raping old aged pensioners
And seducing little boys
Chorus
--
Yours aye
Roddy K Macdonald
Edinburgh, Scotland
John Clark
"Alec Powell" <al...@ukonline.co.uk> wrote in message
news:kgHK5AAS...@prole.demon.co.uk...
> some of these bits together:-) Excellent idea BTW!
> Cheers,
>
> Alec
SITREP ------
My "Your Documents/Military_Songs" is getting
"*%$!£*^$" BIG!!!!!!!!!
That's how I used to do it in BAOR, get a few verses,
list them, get a few more, compare, then get a more
complete version of the song!
One reason I posted on here was :-
:::SERVICE PISS TAKE MODE ON:::
Some time a snatch of a verse, a chorus or a
line will induce into the most, alcohol induced,
brain dead, mind (and I'm including Killicks
here and Three Badgers (Big Grin) to remember
another little bit of a song.
:::SERVICE PISS TAKE MODE OFF:::
I've lost a few grey cell on a "run ashore" myself
I may be a Pongo (and proud of it!) but I understand
Matlot <SP> speak, my Great Uncle Frank, took the
Kings Shilling in 1918, as a Boy, in the RN.
He was due out in 1940, after 22, but there was this little
spat going on called WWII, so he was kept in to 1945.
This is where my fist interest in Mil history came from!
He didn't like it when I didn't become a Tar and became
a Pongo instead!
John Clark
"Roddy K Macdonald" <roddyma...@hotmailpants.com> wrote in message
news:8pbbse$c0m$1...@news5.svr.pol.co.uk...
> Well done, John. It'd be a shame if these gems were lost as the old boys
> move on. A couple of additions:
>
> The 51st Highland Division's Farewell to Sicily by Hamish Henderson
> (To the pipe tune Farewell to the Creeks)
>
Inta 'ra Lalans
<Supercilious English Accent>
Please forgive, if you will, this indulgence into
The Good Lords' own language!
<Supercilious English Accent Off>
How's it gangin', I ken yer fra' ra' east coast <spit<g>>
dinna tak it as a slurr, Whuar did ye cum'by 'ra The
HD Farewell, A'h ask 'ris 'caus ma Faither wiz in 'ra
Forty Twa, fra '44 ta' he wis shot in ra' coupin' at
Caen?
Aw Ra' Best
English <SPIT> subtitles can be supplied
to those not privilaged enought to be
SCOTTISH!!!
Bob Spowart
Bob Spowart wrote in message <8pb7fg$321$1...@newsg4.svr.pol.co.uk>...
After a rethink, there was a different line in the 1st verse too!
Me no likee Blitish soldier
Me no likee any more
Yankee soldier he much better,
Yankee pay five dollars more
Yankee fuck me in the bedroom
Blitish fuck me on the floor
Yankee soldier call me sweetheart,
Blitish soldier call me whore
Spanner
Alec Powell
Clark <john....@NOSPAMntlworld.com> imparts these words of wisdom:
>That's how I used to do it in BAOR, get a few verses,
>list them, get a few more, compare, then get a more
>complete version of the song!
Now this was probably a rugby song from the '60-'70's but has obvious
military connections as shown in the chorus:
Sambo was a lazy coon
Went to sleep in the afternoon
So tired was he
So tired was he
Out in the ulu he would go
Swinging his chopper to and fro
When along came a bee
A bloody great bee
Bzzz.................Bzzz..................Bzzz
Fly away you bumble bee
I 'aint no rose
I ain't no syphilitic flower
So get off my fucking nose
Get off my nasal organ
I ain't no queer
If you wanna bit of bum
You can see my chum
But you'll get no arseole here
Arseole rules the NAVY
Arseole rules the NAVY
Arseole rules the NAVY..............but you'll get no arseole here-No
fear
HTH
Bob Spowart
Alec Powell wrote in message ...
>In article <ixTt5.6114$vo6....@news2-win.server.ntlworld.com>, John
>Clark <john....@NOSPAMntlworld.com> imparts these words of wisdom:
>>I know it is a VERY specilised site and don't expect many hits!
>at the Mess in Nee Soon we used to have sessions of poetry reciting. Now
>don't groan too soon - this was always typical squaddie humour and was
>mate of mine called Zak Newton, ( a gunner surveyor), who's greatest
>rendition went something like:
>
>There's a little green urinal to the north of Waterloo.
>And another for the ladies further down,
>There's a girl called Mary Tucker-for a shilling you could kiss 'er,
>And she'd take her lipstick off for 'alf a crown.........
>(Green Eyed Idol?)
>
>That's as much as I can remember I'm afraid but if anyone has heard of
>it I'd love to know the rest after all these years.
Hi all!!!
Try this for size:-
There's a dirty stinking piss house to the North of Waterloo,
There's another one for ladies further down,
And it's kept by Sally Tucker, For a shilling you could f*** her,
You could sleep with her for only half a crown.
Though she's known as Sally Tucker by those that used to f*** her,
Her real name is Tallulah Johnstone Black,
And she's handled many a tool since the day she first left school,
and she's earned a damn fine living on her back.
From the colour of 'er britches, she's the dirtiest of bitches,
y'ed think this dame hade never had a wash,
Yet, the smell from her vagina was infinitily finer,
Than any whisky, gin or rum, with orange squash.
One day she had a rattle with a sailor from Seattle,
And she wondered why he hugged so long and close.
When he'd finished with his screwing, She found what 'ed been doing,
E'd gone and left her proper with a with a dose.
So she gave it to her father who gave it to her mother,
who gave it to the Reverend Percy Brown,
Who gave it to a cousin, who gave it to a dozen,
and now it's spread half way across the town.
And so is came to pass, that it reached that sailor's arse*
It travelled half way up 'is bloody back.
There it rotted and it festered, 'is very life it pestered,
'twas the vengeance of Tallulah Johnstone Black.
Now there's a dirty stinking sailor to the North of Waterloo,
With a dose of Syph that's slowly turning green.
Though 'es 'acked it and 'es scratched it, if 'e can 'ere detach it,
'e's a better man than I Gunga Din!
Note:- to be pronounced in the English way, ARSE, not ASS
As a point to note, "There's a little green eyed idol to the North of
Kathmandu", though often attributed to Kipling, was not one of his. I can
not remember the author, could soneome give the correct identity?
Spanner
John Clark
>
> Hi all!!!
> Try this for size:-
>
>
> There's a dirty stinking piss house to the North of Waterloo,
> There's another one for ladies further down,
I've put it up on the site.
I'll have to expand the aims of the site to include
poems, etc......
John Clark
"Roddy K Macdonald" <roddyma...@hotmailpants.com> wrote in message
news:8pbbse$c0m$1...@news5.svr.pol.co.uk...
> move on. A couple of additions:
>
> The 51st Highland Division's Farewell to Sicily by Hamish Henderson
Thank you! It's now up on the site, although
those lesser mortals, who are not privileged
enough to be Scots, may have a hard time
understanding it! <grin>
You may also be interested in another one
called "Glenwhorple Highlanders"
--
John (Jock) Clark
www.geocities.com/squaddiesongs
Songs troops have sung in Battles, Barracks and Bars
Glyn Davies
"Alec Powell" <al...@ukonline.co.uk> wrote in message
news:8dKcmDAl...@prole.demon.co.uk...
Roddy K Macdonald
>
> > >
> > The 51st Highland Division's Farewell to Sicily by Hamish Henderson
> > (To the pipe tune Farewell to the Creeks)
> >
> :::Songs Saved:::
>
> Inta 'ra Lalans
>
> <Supercilious English Accent>
> Please forgive, if you will, this indulgence into
> The Good Lords' own language!
> <Supercilious English Accent Off>
>
> How's it gangin', I ken yer fra' ra' east coast <spit<g>>
> dinna tak it as a slurr, Whuar did ye cum'by 'ra The
> HD Farewell, A'h ask 'ris 'caus ma Faither wiz in 'ra
> Forty Twa, fra '44 ta' he wis shot in ra' coupin' at
> Caen?
>
> Aw Ra' Best
>
> English <SPIT> subtitles can be supplied
> to those not privilaged enought to be
> SCOTTISH!!!
>
John, </morningside> You'll have had your tea, sex is what the coal comes in
and Rates? We have no rates in Edinburgh, only maice! <\morningside>
Hamish is a friend of mine. If you want to hear an excellent version of the
song, look out for Dick Gaughan's album "Sail On". He has slowed it and
plays the guitar accompaniment in piobaireachd style - a truly tremendous
rendition. For further info on the song go to
http://www.dickalba.demon.co.uk/songs/texts/sclynote.htm
Hamish is getting on now - we celebrated his 80th last November. However, he
has been known after a few Lagavulins to knock out a rendition of D-Day
Dodgers and other 8th Army songs.
Keep up the good work.
--
Yours aye
Roddy K Macdonald
Edinburgh, Scotland
Spamtrap: remove "pants" to reply
GORDON
Alec Powell wrote in message ...
>nvariety.fsnet.co.uk> imparts these words of wisdom:
>>To the tune of "What a Friend We Have in Jesus"
>>
>>Me no likee Blitish soldier
>>Me no likee any more
>>Me no likee Blitish soldier
>>Yankee pay five dollars more
<Big snip>
Anyone know the words of the popular song: "This Old Hat of Mine"??
Gordon
lesd...@crudespamtrap.utvinternet.com
<B...@rspowart.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
<good stuff snipped>
>
>As a point to note, "There's a little green eyed idol to the North of
>Kathmandu", though often attributed to Kipling, was not one of his. I can
>not remember the author, could soneome give the correct identity?
>Spanner
>
According to the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations it was a
chap called J. Milton Hayes (1884-1940).
The poem was called The Green Eye of the Yellow God. It
began:
There's a one-eyed yellow idol to the north of Khatmandu,
There's a little marble cross below the town;
There's a broken-hearted woman tends the grave of Mad Carew
And the Yellow God forever gazes down.
I much prefer your version though.
Regards
--
Les Dennis
No. Not that one
Please remove crude spam-trap if replying by e-mail
Bob Spowart
John Clark wrote in message ...
>
<<SNIP>>
>I've put it up on the site.
>I'll have to expand the aims of the site to include
>poems, etc......
>
>
Spanner
Bob Spowart
lesd...@crudespamtrap.utvinternet.com wrote in message
<39ba73f5...@news.utvinternet.com>...
<<SNIP>>>
>According to the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations it was a
>chap called J. Milton Hayes (1884-1940).
>
>The poem was called The Green Eye of the Yellow God. It
>began:
>There's a one-eyed yellow idol to the north of Khatmandu,
>There's a little marble cross below the town;
>There's a broken-hearted woman tends the grave of Mad Carew
>And the Yellow God forever gazes down.
>
>I much prefer your version though.
>
Thanks Les! Saves this bone idle tosser from looking it up!!!
The original poem is still a superb example of the Victorian Narrative Poem
that has, so unfairly, been lampooned by comics in recent years and is, in
mixed company, MUCH to be preferred over my offering!!
Spanner
Glyn Davies
<lesd...@crudespamtrap.utvinternet.com> wrote in message
news:39ba73f5...@news.utvinternet.com...
> On Sat, 9 Sep 2000 10:18:24 +0100, "Bob Spowart"
> <B...@rspowart.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
>
> <good stuff snipped>
> >
> >As a point to note, "There's a little green eyed idol to the North of
> >Kathmandu", though often attributed to Kipling, was not one of his. I can
> >not remember the author, could soneome give the correct identity?
> >Spanner
> >
> According to the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations it was a
> chap called J. Milton Hayes (1884-1940).
>
> The poem was called The Green Eye of the Yellow God. It
> began:
> There's a one-eyed yellow idol to the north of Khatmandu,
> There's a little marble cross below the town;
> There's a broken-hearted woman tends the grave of Mad Carew
> And the Yellow God forever gazes down.
>
> I much prefer your version though.
This is sacriledge. You realize of course you will never be able to eat Mr
Kiplings cakes again?
Sparks
<gl...@lothianvariety.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:
>
>"Bob Spowart" <B...@rspowart.freeserve.co.uk> wrote in message
>news:8pb7fg$321$1...@newsg4.svr.pol.co.uk...
>>
>> Glyn Davies wrote in message <8p9ev0$nba$1...@newsg1.svr.pol.co.uk>...
>> >To the tune of "What a Friend We Have in Jesus"
>> >
>> >Me no likee Blitish soldier
>> >Me no likee any more
>> >Me no likee Blitish soldier
>> >Yankee pay five dollars more
>> >
>> >Yankee fuck me in the bedroom
>> >Blitish fuck me on the floor
>> >Me no likee Blitish soldier
>> >Yankee pay five dollars more.
Yankee Sailor tell me that he love me
British Sailor call me fucking whore
Yankee Sailor fuck me and he leave me
British Sailor fuck and fuck some more.
lesd...@crudespamtrap.utvinternet.com
<john....@NOSPAMntlworld.com> wrote:
>May I point out that, although most of the songs on the site at the moment
>are British songs from WWII, I will be putting up songs from the Empire,
>and I welcome any songs from any serviceman who served his Country.
What a great thread! Thanks John.
I can offer a poem. It's not specifically FAA-related, but in the
1950s it was the party-piece of one of our pilots, whose name and
squadron I won't divulge, as he left the Service to become a
priest.Wild horses won't drag it from me. Gulpers might though...
THE PORTIONS OF A WOMAN
The portions of a woman that appeal to man's depravity
Are constructed with considerable care.
And what appears, when first you look, to be a simple cavity
Is really an elaborate affair.
There's the clitoris, the vagina and the jolly perinaeum
And the hymen, that is found in some few dames,
And lots of other gadgets that you'd love if you could see 'em.
And they all have very fancy Latin names.
So isn't it a pity that, when common people chatter
Of the mysteries to which I have referred,
They should use, for such a delicate and complicated matter,
Such a short and unattractive little word.
There was also the following, which was sung to the tune of an old
parlour-piano song called "Just Like the Ivy on the Old Garden
Wall"
Dockyard mateys' children, sitting on the dockyard wall,
Watching our fathers doing f*** all.
When we grow older, we'll be dockyard mateys too.
Just like our fathers with f*** all to do.
Here's to many more happy memories of Sods' Operas enjoyed long
ago.
Jack McHammocklashing
Good morning Mr Fisherman
Good morning Sir to thee
Oh have you a lobster we can have for tea
Chorus
Singing Row tiddly oh row tiddly oh row tiddly oh tiddly oh oh oh
OR
row tiddly oh shit or bust
never let your bollocks
dangle in the dust
Oh yes sir yes sir
Ive got two
and the biggest of the lobsters
I will sell to you
Chorus
Well when I got it home
I did not have a dish
so i put it the bowl
where the wife she has a pish
Chorus
In the middle of the night
as you know
the wife got up to use the poe
Well the lobster gave a nip
the wife she gave a grunt
and there was the lobster
hanging on her c**t
Chorus
Well I grabbed a squege
the wife grabbed a broom
we hit the bloody lobster
all around the room
We hit it on its back
and we hit it on its side
we hit the bloody lobster
until the bastard died
Chorus
The moral to the story
and it is simply this
allways have a shufties
before you take a pish
Chorus
Regards Jack Mc Hammocklashing RO9
On Wed, 6 Sep 2000 22:53:09 +0100, Graham Burns
<gra...@knollroad.demon.co.uk> sprach:
>In article <8p5k34$j67$3...@news7.svr.pol.co.uk>, Glyn Davies <glyn@lothian
>variety.fsnet.co.uk> writes
>>The Lobster Song - now that would be a great catch. I've always wanted the
>>words to that.
>>
>I think it goes like this:-
>
>Good morning Mr fisherman,
>Good morning Sir to you
>Have you lobster you can sell to me?
>Yes Sir I have a lobster
>I have three, and the biggest of the bastards
>I will sell to you.
>
>Chorus
>Singing Hi Tiddley Oh, Hi Tiddley Ho
>(Or something like that)
>
>Now I took the lobster home
>And couldn't find a dish
>So I put in the place where the Missus used to piss.
>
>Chorus
>
>Now in the middle of the night
>As you may guess
>The missus got up to have a piss.
>
>Chorus
>
>The missus gave s grunt
>The missus gave a squeal
>And up jumped the Missus
>With the lobster hanging from her cunt.
>
>Chorus
>
>The missus grabbed a squeegee
>I grabbed a scrubber
>And we hit the fucking lobster
>Till the bastard died
>
>Chorus
>
>Now there is a moral to my story
>and the moral is this
>Never keep a lobster
>where the missus wants to piss.
>
>-------------------------------
>Or something like that, any improvements gratefully acknowledged.
>
>But what about?
>
>A Chief Stoker told me before he died
>That he once had wife who was never satisfied
>So he invented a fucking machine
>A fucking great wheel
>Two brass balls
>And a prick of steel
>The whole fucking issue was driven by steam
>
>Round and round went the fucking great wheel
>In and out went the prick of steel
>Till at last the maiden cried
>Enough, enough I'm satisfied
>
>But alas there was no way of stopping it
>So round and round went the fucking great wheel
>In and out went the prick of steel
>Till at last the maid was split
>From arse to tit
>And the whole fucking issue was covered in shit.
>
>-------------------------
>
>I think that's it, its a long time since I first learnt it
>
>It sounds a lot better than it reads.