** UX FAQ - Please Read Before Posting (contains big S7/S8 spoilers)
Caroline Smith
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I had to perform a swan song for a fanzine. But now
you have no excuse to post spoilers in headings and not warn people before
you blow the complete plot of an episode in the first line of your posts...
<Drum roll please> It is my pleasure to announce, that this FAQ can also be
found on the new, improved, revamped and sexily coloured Gutter
(http://web.ukonline.co.uk/gutter). "It's blue." Run don't walk people ;-)
Nettiquette, Netty'ee'ket
The art of not pissing off newsgroups by reading the Frequently Asked
Questions list *before* asking a question that has already been answered a
thousand times in the last couple of days. And the art of using appropriate
spoiler spaces and warnings for episodes not already aired on terrestrial
TV (and keeping those in place for a few days after airing).
In other words, it's only polite to read through this before leaping in
with a question and do not be irked if people point you in the direction of
the FAQ as opposed to answering your very important (but possibly asked and
answered 300+ times already) query.
Brand new, spanking and quite possibly out of date in a matter of minutes,
version of the now legendary/infamous UX FAQ. Up to date as of March 26th
2001…
1. What is a SPOILER WARNING and why do we use them?
A spoiler warning is a polite alert to would-be readers that your post
contains spoilers (information that could spoil an episode) pertaining to
episodes not yet or just recently aired upon UK television.
Please have a little thought for those people who might not be mad keen on
knowing every single little plot twist in advance of the eps airing over
here. To aid and abet this: keep spoilers out of headers, use warnings and
leave a bit of space in the body of your message before you go blabbing.
Cheers.
There are newsgroup regs who are trying valiantly to remain spoiler-free as
S7 airs on terrestrial TV and S8 begins on Sky One. Please respect that, or
don't whine if someone publicly slaps you stupid. Speaking of which...
2. What's going on with TXF & the BBC?
Season 7 is currently airing at 9pm on Sunday nights, BBC2. Next up should
be Gillian Anderon’s writing & directing & starring & starring & starring
episode all things, which is either: an accomplished examination of Scully
through Anderson’s eyes (not quite the Scully we know and love, but
interesting as a peek at how the actress would perhaps like her to be) with
some funky music, lovely images, lesbians <shock, horror!> and <arrggh>
symbolism. Or it’s a pile of pretentious garbage offering little more than
a vehicle for Anderson’s touchy feely belief system. Hey your call. Up to
date scheduling information for the BBC and Sky One can be found at:
http://www.xfilesuk.com
3. Any sign of S8 on Sky One?
Season 8 is now up and running on Sky One, Thursday nights at 9pm. <counts
on fingers> Surekill - the crappest episode to date and let’s be honest,
competition for that title has been fierce - airs this week. I would
recommend listening to Ann Widdecombe bathe as an entertaining
alternative.**
4. Anything going on Stateside?
Season 8 is well underway Stateside. And is currently languishing on a four
week hiatus while The Lone Gunmen steals its slot. The show returns on
April 1st with the second half of the Hey Honey; Mulder's Dead two-parter.
Episode wise we have... (all episodes have been buggered about with since
the last FAQ but this seems to be the current airing order <not necessarily
production order>.) See http://www.usd.edu/~mmarek/xf/ for a full write up
of the episodes aired to date.
Dead Alive (8X15). Airdate: April 1st. (No kidding) The second part to This
is Not Happening. Dead Alive opens with Mulder's funeral, bargain basement
Feds R Us means Mulder's tombstone is the one they found way back in the
opening episodes - cheap gits.
So where were we? Oh yeah, flashing forward to five months later. Scully's
baby is now 4 years old and can already spell Reticulan. Billy Miles' body
is discovered bloating 'n' floating and an autopsy bay is readied. Before
you can say, "just hand me that circular saw" however, Miles' lips move and
it becomes clear that the man ain't quite dead. Uh oh, thinks Scully - does
that mean we stuck Mulder in the ground a mite prematurely? Seeing as Miles
had been "dead" for about six months, chances are Mulder may have a pulse.
Cue lots of "preserve his dignity" quandaries, Mulder gets dug up, yeah
there's a pulse, but sorry the fact that you used embalming fluid and the
fact he's been buried for five months have completely screwed up any chance
of him ever making sense again (so no changes there.) He's very decomposed.
It is an alien virus, everyone's trying to kill him, Krycek wants the baby,
blahdey blahdey blah. And by the end of the episode (which is the first
and only scene to contain Mulder lines) Mulder's back to relative normality
and we're moving swiftly on.
Three Words (8X18). Airdate 8th April. This ep will round out the
quasi-trilogy dealing with Mulder’s resurrection. Mulder is still
traumatised by his abduction and Kersh is trying to break his spirit by
attempting to kick him off the X-Files and leave Doggett on there instead.
A man gets shot outside the White House having been ranting about aliens
taking over the world. He's clutching a Fight The Future CD (what!? The one
they gave away at cinemas? Crap, I've got one of those!). The only other
scene is one where Mulder tells Scully it's a bit hard to know where he
fits in... hmmmm. Guess that's one reason Scully went with IVF...
Empedocles (8X17). Airdate 15th April. Satanic ritual killings R Us in this
not even written completely and only slightly spoiled episode. Expect to
see Ms Reyes back. The only other detail mentioned was a scene where Scully
and Mulder are having pizza, Scully has yet another round of
"Complications" and spends much of the episode offscreen and "in danger."
The only damn thing that will be in danger is Carter's life if we have yet
another friggin' Scully in hospital gown scene - I mean seriously, how many
is that this season?! Both Doggett and Mulder are at the hospital and are
quizzed about their claim to fatherhood after Mulder carefully explains
(offscreen for eight hours) what exactly is going on with regard to that
neither man is allowed into the ICU to see Scully.
Vienen (8X16). Airdate: April 22nd. With Scully "well into her third
trimester" (i.e. 14 months pregnant) she gets dumped on the sidelines yet
again while Mulder and Doggett piss around her in circles. Hey, it could
happen. Actually, the oilien is back and the manly men go off to
investigate it on an oil rig. Cue Mulder provoking Doggett and Doggett
smirking at Mulder and the little wifey sitting at home with her swollen
feet up. Probably. Possibly. Well, maybe. Mulder and Scully talk on the
phone, so, plenty of worthwhile interaction pending no doubt. The oil rig
blows up and Mulder takes the fall (neatly getting in there for his P45 in
front of Doggett) so maybe we're talking ex-FBI Agent Mulder by the end of
this one.
Alone (8X19) Airdate TBC. Scully takes maternity leave from TXFs and in a
scene already distressing to some (please do not read any further if you
have the mental capacity of a very small sheep) she gives Doggett her
Apollo 11 keychain because - let's face it - it was a pretty shit gift in
the first place. Scully is a little ambiguous as to whether or not she's
coming back to TXFs eventually. Doggett gets to work a case involving a
black, slick reptile - seemingly alone (or without any regular XF members)
- with Agent Harrison. For any fans out there who were affected by the
death of Leyla Harrison recently, it may help to know that Agent Harrison
is actually Agent Leyla Harrison, a guest star for this episode alone.
Expect more than a few nods at fans’ weird preoccupation with continuity
(weird that is because few of the 1013 mob can spell it let alone actually
put it into practise), Scully and Mulder heading off to Lamaze classes
together and an apparently “class” tribute to Leyla.
Essence (8X20) Welcome back Ma Scully. And back we go to the great baby
conspiracy. I'm spotting a theme. Baby shower. Nanny interviews. Nanny in
collusion with bad people. Scully going to live on desert island where
natives definitely, absolutely, undeniably have no connections whatsoever
to her baby and related conspiracies ('cept for one). Seeing as Ma Scully
found the nanny does that mean Ma Scully's in on the conspiracy too? Hell,
she's probably married to Cancerman and Mulder and Scully are siblings
after all, which doesn't bode well for the baby, if he's the father which
of course he's not (or is he?) The baby apparently has "perfect human
traits", so definitely doesn't take after his father then (or does he?).
All and definitely less will not be revealed any time never.
Latest spoilers on this one have every man and his dog (currently
unemployed due to Foot ‘n’ Mouth) out to kill Scully & unborn toddler and
Krycek called in for protective duties. Which could be fun... especially if
anyone involved read Half a World Away recently...
Existence (8X21) Not a murmur or a whimper on this aside from the very
likely probability that it’ll be the finale. So expect Scully to go into
labour.
There have been murmurings online that Fox have renewed the show for a
ninth season. Gillian Anderson was already signed up as it was the only way
she was going to get sensible pay in comparison to Duchovny's for season
eight.
Robert Patrick and Annabeth Gish are softly contracted for a second year -
i.e. the show survives and fans aren't baying for their blood, they stay.
At the moment, TPTB seem to be skipping around the issue with all the skill
of seasoned avoiders of the issue (think politicians.) Spotnitz recently
said that S8 will effectively conclude the show, wrapping up the Myth Arse
(Caroline pauses for 20 minutes to wipe tears of mirth from her eyes) and
any subsequent seasons after that will be fair game for a fresh start.
Carter said it all depends on whether or not Fox treat the Lone Gunmen show
fairly because he's still sulking over Harsh Realm. During a brief
Evolution clip on Sky News, Duchovny stated uncategorically that he was not
doing a ninth season but he did seem willing to do any future movies. For
those keeping tabs on The Hair... it was sun bleached blonde and floppy.
It's looked better...
5. S8 looks like it will be 21 episodes. Which is a very weird number and I
may be wrong.
6. Are Sky/BBC2 showing episodes out of order because all the production
codes are shot to hell? No. Sky & BBC2 have been following the original
*airing* order of the episodes in the States. Sometimes eps are shoved down
the running order, or pushed up the order for whatever reasons (SFX need
work, episode is crap so they hide it mid-season etc.) making the actual
production codes very unreliable when it comes to airing order, as
evidenced above.
7. Of videos and DVDs...and Krycek...
Requiem, Within & Without is now available on video. Buy it! Buy it! It’s
great.
Heh, only kidding.
Return to Me (that's the one with Duchovny in it in case you're wondering)
is now out to rent on video and to buy on DVD. It has - as yet - not
garnered any acting nominations in any awards (human or labrador) although
it did feature in a recent TV Guide Best Film of the year bunfight with The
House of Mirth.
The House of Mirth (that's the one with Anderson in it in case you're
wondering) has pretty much finished in UK cinemas. A DVD is now out to buy
for about £20 and has some very fab extras on it. The movie is also
released to rent on the same day, as of yet, no sell-thru date seems to
have been set. A review of the DVD and its extras can be found at:
http://www.r2-dvd.org/reviews/houseofmirth.shtml.
Sorry that the FAQ wasn’t around to warn you that Gillian Anderson hosting
When Planes Go Down aired opposite Comic Relief the other week. Fun, fun,
fun. And we all now know how to survive a mid air explosion. Hmmmm....
8. Help! What the hell was that song playing in the background of that
episode where Scully went all weird and started drinking herbal tea with
lesbians?
That would be Moby (strange little man with stranger little tunes all
currently featuring in 1001 television adverts) with The Sky is Broken.
Lots more info on XF songs can be found here:
http://www.fandom.com/x-files/ Cheers to Terry for the link.
9. The very best, cheapest way to get episodes of TXF on tape in a PAL or
NTSC format before they air over here is to contact these people:
east...@kua.net. Eastlant Sci Fi Group are a rather fab, fan-run
organisation who, for a good while now, have been providing copies of US
shows to fans all over the world. In a recent newsletter Eastlant announced
a slight price increase per tape to $12 (for four episodes). This price
increase has now been implemented. Completely and utterly reliable,
completely and utterly non-profit with a huge archive of shows. Contact
them for more details. And please, don't forget to say thanks.
10. In an effort to prove Duchovny hasn't dropped off the face of the earth
he is currently filming the Ivan Reitman/Dreamworks comedy Evolution
(http://www.countingdown.com/evolution/). The movie concerns the chaos
brought about by the meteor speeding up organisms' development. Of his role
Duchovny had this to say: "I play a Professor who is charged with saving
the world from agressive aliens,' he explains. 'I think that it's a
transition that will take me away from the X-Files towards other roles.'
Yup sounds absolutely nothing like Mulder to me... He goes further to dash
fans' hopes that their hero will return in a future series by saying, 'I
think it will be difficult to do another series since people will always
remember my work in the X-Files. I think its the best time to turn the page
and do something else.'"
The movie has a very cool poster, has finished principal photography and is
scheduled for a June 8th US release. There’s a short interview with
Duchovny in April’s Premiere magazine - expect much more coverage closer to
the US release date.
ADBB,
Caroline.
** I *really* *really* wouldn’t. Nothing, ever, ever in this world would be
that dire.