info
Google Groups no longer supports new Usenet posts or subscriptions. Historical content remains viewable.
Dismiss
You've got to smile now and again.
12 views
Skip to first unread message
Mike Swift
Jan 12, 2021, 8:14:08 AM1/12/21
to
My wife saw this on one of the sites she visits, unlikely to be true,
but made me chuckle.
I was in the supermarket recently with my service dog.
The lady in front of me at the checkout had about £200 worth of toilet
rolls in her trolley.
She scowled at my dog and asked what sort it was.
I told her it was my service dog.
She asked what sort of service.
I told her it was an ALD.
By now my dog was being very friendly licking her hands and face.
She asked what was an ALD.
I told her it was an Arse Licking Dog.
Arse Licking Dog? She asked.
Yes I said, he has been trained to lick my arse clean because I can't
find toilet paper for hoarders like you.
The cashier totally lost it.
Mike
--
Michael Swift We do not regard Englishmen as foreigners.
Kirkheaton We look on them only as rather mad Norwegians.
Yorkshire Halvard Lange
but made me chuckle.
I was in the supermarket recently with my service dog.
The lady in front of me at the checkout had about £200 worth of toilet
rolls in her trolley.
She scowled at my dog and asked what sort it was.
I told her it was my service dog.
She asked what sort of service.
I told her it was an ALD.
By now my dog was being very friendly licking her hands and face.
She asked what was an ALD.
I told her it was an Arse Licking Dog.
Arse Licking Dog? She asked.
Yes I said, he has been trained to lick my arse clean because I can't
find toilet paper for hoarders like you.
The cashier totally lost it.
Mike
--
Michael Swift We do not regard Englishmen as foreigners.
Kirkheaton We look on them only as rather mad Norwegians.
Yorkshire Halvard Lange
Indy Jess John
Jan 12, 2021, 11:20:52 AM1/12/21
to
On 12/01/2021 13:11, Mike Swift wrote:
> My wife saw this on one of the sites she visits, unlikely to be true,
> but made me chuckle.
>
> I was in the supermarket recently with my service dog.
> The lady in front of me at the checkout had about Ł200 worth of toilet
> My wife saw this on one of the sites she visits, unlikely to be true,
> but made me chuckle.
>
> I was in the supermarket recently with my service dog.
> rolls in her trolley.
> She scowled at my dog and asked what sort it was.
> I told her it was my service dog.
> She asked what sort of service.
> I told her it was an ALD.
> By now my dog was being very friendly licking her hands and face.
> She asked what was an ALD.
> I told her it was an Arse Licking Dog.
> Arse Licking Dog? She asked.
> Yes I said, he has been trained to lick my arse clean because I can't
> find toilet paper for hoarders like you.
> The cashier totally lost it.
>
> Mike
>
Love it!
> She scowled at my dog and asked what sort it was.
> I told her it was my service dog.
> She asked what sort of service.
> I told her it was an ALD.
> By now my dog was being very friendly licking her hands and face.
> She asked what was an ALD.
> I told her it was an Arse Licking Dog.
> Arse Licking Dog? She asked.
> Yes I said, he has been trained to lick my arse clean because I can't
> find toilet paper for hoarders like you.
> The cashier totally lost it.
>
> Mike
>
During the first lockdown, my sister-in-law was shopping in ASDA and saw
a middle aged woman with so many toilet rolls in her trolley that she
had to look round them to see where she was going, because she couldn't
see over the top of them.
SIL challenged the lady "How many people have you got at home"? to which
the lady replied "Me and my husband".
So SIL told her (in her best school mistress voice) that even if they
both had Irritable Bowel Syndrome the amount in your trolley would last
till Christmas. "Go and put two thirds of them back while I watch to
make sure you do". And she glared at the lady to make sure she did!
Another lady who had been looking at the previously empty shelf grabbed
one packet as soon as it went back and walking past SIL said "Thank you.
I had run out and was wondering what to do".
Jim
Richard Evans
Jan 12, 2021, 5:53:52 PM1/12/21
to
On 12/01/2021 13:11, Mike Swift wrote:
> I was in the supermarket recently with my service dog.
Lol. Copied this to Facebook
--
This email has been checked for viruses by Avast antivirus software.
https://www.avast.com/antivirus
Brian Gaff (Sofa)
Jan 13, 2021, 2:59:25 AM1/13/21
to
Yes what is it about toilet rolls though? It is hardly the absolute most
important thing in life, since in them old days we used to use old newspaper
torn into strips, and there is still enough junk mail coming through the
door.
Maybe they are selling it on as a side business?
Brian
--
This newsgroup posting comes to you directly from...
The Sofa of Brian Gaff...
bri...@blueyonder.co.uk
Blind user, so no pictures please
Note this Signature is meaningless.!
"Indy Jess John" <jimw...@OMITblueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message
news:A%jLH.358720$Cu1.1...@fx27.ams4...
important thing in life, since in them old days we used to use old newspaper
torn into strips, and there is still enough junk mail coming through the
door.
Maybe they are selling it on as a side business?
Brian
--
This newsgroup posting comes to you directly from...
The Sofa of Brian Gaff...
bri...@blueyonder.co.uk
Blind user, so no pictures please
Note this Signature is meaningless.!
"Indy Jess John" <jimw...@OMITblueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message
news:A%jLH.358720$Cu1.1...@fx27.ams4...
NY
Jan 13, 2021, 4:56:33 AM1/13/21
to
"Brian Gaff (Sofa)" <bri...@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message
news:rtm98q$gm1$1...@dont-email.me...
in bulk to sell at a huge mark-up. Ebay etc retaliated by pulling all such
listings, leaving the people with several years' supply of bog rolls that
they couldn't sell.
I remember what Izal bog roll was like, in schools etc. Because it wasn't
absorbent (one side was almost glazed), it smeared rather than removing, so
it took many sheets to get yourself clean. It was also so thin that it
suffered from the dreaded "poke-through" :-( I would imagine that newspaper
etc would suffer from the same problems. A washable cloth might be better if
loo rolls run out.
news:rtm98q$gm1$1...@dont-email.me...
> Yes what is it about toilet rolls though? It is hardly the absolute most
> important thing in life, since in them old days we used to use old
> newspaper torn into strips, and there is still enough junk mail coming
> through the door.
> Maybe they are selling it on as a side business?
Apparently people in Australia were doing this when Covid started - buying
> important thing in life, since in them old days we used to use old
> newspaper torn into strips, and there is still enough junk mail coming
> through the door.
> Maybe they are selling it on as a side business?
in bulk to sell at a huge mark-up. Ebay etc retaliated by pulling all such
listings, leaving the people with several years' supply of bog rolls that
they couldn't sell.
I remember what Izal bog roll was like, in schools etc. Because it wasn't
absorbent (one side was almost glazed), it smeared rather than removing, so
it took many sheets to get yourself clean. It was also so thin that it
suffered from the dreaded "poke-through" :-( I would imagine that newspaper
etc would suffer from the same problems. A washable cloth might be better if
loo rolls run out.
Indy Jess John
Jan 13, 2021, 5:49:24 AM1/13/21
to
On 13/01/2021 09:56, NY wrote:
> I remember what Izal bog roll was like, in schools etc. Because it wasn't
> absorbent (one side was almost glazed), it smeared rather than removing, so
> it took many sheets to get yourself clean.
I remember when that glazed style was the norm. I also remember being
> I remember what Izal bog roll was like, in schools etc. Because it wasn't
> absorbent (one side was almost glazed), it smeared rather than removing, so
> it took many sheets to get yourself clean.
taught as a youngster to take a couple of sheets off the roll to prepare
while sitting, and crumpling and scrubbing them between my hands until
the glaze was completely destroyed, and then it was usable.
It did make them more usable, though it wasn't perfect.
Jim
NY
Jan 13, 2021, 6:05:53 AM1/13/21
to
"Indy Jess John" <jimw...@OMITblueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message
news:QeALH.1373593$OEna....@fx49.ams4...
was prone to smearing. That sort of bog roll may have been cheaper to buy,
but I bet any saving was outweighed by the much greater amount of paper that
had to be used to get yourself clean.
At my school, one set of toilets had open, brick-sided cubicles (no door!)
and the furthest row of cubicles was lit only by a small window high-up on
the wall - there were no lights down that end. The window frame and glass
had disappeared long ago, so it was just a gap in the wall a couple of feet
square, fifteen feet off the ground. Boys used to hold contests to see how
many bog rolls they could lob through the window into the void behind it. I
bet that void was knee-deep in soggy bog rolls :-(
Melanie van Buren
Jan 13, 2021, 7:15:21 AM1/13/21
to
On 13/01/2021 07:59, Brian Gaff (Sofa) wrote:
> Yes what is it about toilet rolls though? It is hardly the absolute most
> important thing in life, since in them old days we used to use old newspaper
> torn into strips, and there is still enough junk mail coming through the
> door.
> Maybe they are selling it on as a side business?
A number of factors: Large items take up space so when a handful are
> Yes what is it about toilet rolls though? It is hardly the absolute most
> important thing in life, since in them old days we used to use old newspaper
> torn into strips, and there is still enough junk mail coming through the
> door.
> Maybe they are selling it on as a side business?
bought at a time the shelf appears empty which creates the conditions
for panic buying. JIT supply chains can stall easily when multiple
larger than normal purchases are made at retail which encourages more
panic buying. Uncertain conditions and rumour cause panic. Speculators
add to all the issues. Poor communication by government especially as
well as retail and media lag drive misunderstandings about the security
of supply chains so drives more panic. Retail didn't respond quickly
with item limits at checkout. Throw in nouveau riche with their SUVs and
spare capital and little in the way of self-control and social
responsibility, and C grade businessmen buying up the equivalent of one
months supply for a retail outlet and speculating via Ebay and you have
more burst pressures on an already strained system.
Collective memory no longer carries alternatives and those alternatives
may not be available widely.
Another influence is preppers. One youtube which was done a few years
ago and became popular is the almost conspiratorial nobody else knows
this kind of pitch about loo rolls. Yes, this video took off in some
quarters of the UK too which only fed panic buying by people who thought
they were smart or "savvy". It appealed to their ego and they felt more
clever or in the know.
As for prepping almost all Americans who are really into it as a hobby
for something to do, or those who have bought into a dystopian fantasy,
or simply those putting a marketing spin on things to make sound living
in the countryside more interesting. Yes, America is big and a
relatively high number of people live 100-300 miles or further from the
nearest shop. Prepping is simply having a well stocked pantry.
Homesteading and food storage including preservation in jars is a thing too.
So lots of reasons for anyone who has been following things and sharing
research which I know you lot in here don't.
--
Melanie van Buren
Peter Johnson
Jan 13, 2021, 3:42:06 PM1/13/21
to
On Wed, 13 Jan 2021 09:56:02 -0000, "NY" <m...@privacy.invalid> wrote:
>
>I remember what Izal bog roll was like, in schools etc. Because it wasn't
>absorbent (one side was almost glazed), it smeared rather than removing, so
>it took many sheets to get yourself clean. It was also so thin that it
>suffered from the dreaded "poke-through" :-( I would imagine that newspaper
>etc would suffer from the same problems. A washable cloth might be better if
>loo rolls run out.
A year or so back a former local medical officer of health wrote to
>
>I remember what Izal bog roll was like, in schools etc. Because it wasn't
>absorbent (one side was almost glazed), it smeared rather than removing, so
>it took many sheets to get yourself clean. It was also so thin that it
>suffered from the dreaded "poke-through" :-( I would imagine that newspaper
>etc would suffer from the same problems. A washable cloth might be better if
>loo rolls run out.
the Guardian to say that when absorbant tissue took over from Izal the
number of cases of reportable diarrhoea reported to him dropped almost
to nothing. Read that and remembered that that was something that I
had experienced in the 1950s.
I suspect the councils and the like liked the Izal because they could
have it printed 'Property of xyz' to deter pilfering by employees.
NY
Jan 13, 2021, 4:15:50 PM1/13/21
to
"Martin" <m...@address.invalid> wrote in message
news:rkntvf1h0f90hj3ej...@4ax.com...
> My recollection of Izal was that it was very thin and could be used as
> tracing
> paper.
It made *much* better tracing paper than bog paper ;-)
news:rkntvf1h0f90hj3ej...@4ax.com...
> tracing
> paper.
It made *much* better tracing paper than bog paper ;-)
Mike Swift
Jan 13, 2021, 8:22:24 PM1/13/21
to
In article <rtm98q$gm1$1...@dont-email.me>, Brian Gaff (Sofa)
<bri...@blueyonder.co.uk> writes
Yes newspaper was OK but you had to use a class paper like the Times or
the ink rubbed of on your behind.
Most of the junk mail these days is too shiny, a bit like the Izal stuff
in a box my mum used to buy.
Mike
>Yes what is it about toilet rolls though? It is hardly the absolute most
>important thing in life, since in them old days we used to use old newspaper
>torn into strips, and there is still enough junk mail coming through the door.
> Maybe they are selling it on as a side business?
<bri...@blueyonder.co.uk> writes
Yes newspaper was OK but you had to use a class paper like the Times or
the ink rubbed of on your behind.
Most of the junk mail these days is too shiny, a bit like the Izal stuff
in a box my mum used to buy.
Mike
>Yes what is it about toilet rolls though? It is hardly the absolute most
>important thing in life, since in them old days we used to use old newspaper
>torn into strips, and there is still enough junk mail coming through the door.
> Maybe they are selling it on as a side business?
Mike Swift
Jan 13, 2021, 8:32:26 PM1/13/21
to
In article <rtmg4f$vgp$1...@dont-email.me>, NY <m...@privacy.invalid> writes
>I remember what Izal bog roll was like, in schools etc. Because it wasn't
>absorbent (one side was almost glazed), it smeared rather than removing,
>so it took many sheets to get yourself clean. It was also so thin that it
>suffered from the dreaded "poke-through" :-( I would imagine that
>newspaper etc would suffer from the same problems. A washable cloth
>might be better if loo rolls run out.
Or a sponge on a stick soaked and in vinegar, it worked for the Romans.
I went to a C of E junior school, the dreaded urge and the " Please
Miss, may I leave the room with paper" and being given a couple of
sheets ruined my regularity for years, not to mention that being
naturally left handed having a ruler across my knuckles to make me write
with my right hand ruining my handwriting for life.
>Apparently people in Australia were doing this when Covid started - buying
>in bulk to sell at a huge mark-up. Ebay etc retaliated by pulling all such
>listings, leaving the people with several years' supply of bog rolls that they
>couldn't sell.
>
Love it.
>in bulk to sell at a huge mark-up. Ebay etc retaliated by pulling all such
>listings, leaving the people with several years' supply of bog rolls that they
>couldn't sell.
>
>I remember what Izal bog roll was like, in schools etc. Because it wasn't
>absorbent (one side was almost glazed), it smeared rather than removing,
>so it took many sheets to get yourself clean. It was also so thin that it
>suffered from the dreaded "poke-through" :-( I would imagine that
>newspaper etc would suffer from the same problems. A washable cloth
>might be better if loo rolls run out.
I went to a C of E junior school, the dreaded urge and the " Please
Miss, may I leave the room with paper" and being given a couple of
sheets ruined my regularity for years, not to mention that being
naturally left handed having a ruler across my knuckles to make me write
with my right hand ruining my handwriting for life.
Mike Swift
Jan 13, 2021, 8:35:12 PM1/13/21
to
In article <rtl99r$4ee$2...@gioia.aioe.org>, Richard Evans
<R.P.Evan...@Sky.com> writes
<R.P.Evan...@Sky.com> writes
>
>> I was in the supermarket recently with my service dog.
>
>Lol. Copied this to Facebook
I don't do Faceache but that is where my wife saw it.
>> I was in the supermarket recently with my service dog.
>
>Lol. Copied this to Facebook
Mike Swift
Jan 13, 2021, 8:35:12 PM1/13/21
to
In article <rtmk6e$q6v$1...@dont-email.me>, NY <m...@privacy.invalid> writes
type with water, I assume from a stream, running underneath into the
sewage system.
The favourite pastime at break was to make a paper boat, set fire to it
and send it down the row of seat in the hope we could catch someone on
the throne.
>Even the unglazed side (or the glazed side after crumpling and scrubbing)
>was prone to smearing. That sort of bog roll may have been cheaper to buy,
>but I bet any saving was outweighed by the much greater amount of paper
>that had to be used to get yourself clean.
>
>At my school, one set of toilets had open, brick-sided cubicles (no door!)
>and the furthest row of cubicles was lit only by a small window high-up on
>the wall - there were no lights down that end. The window frame and glass
>had disappeared long ago, so it was just a gap in the wall a couple of feet
>square, fifteen feet off the ground. Boys used to hold contests to see how
>many bog rolls they could lob through the window into the void behind it. I
>bet that void was knee-deep in soggy bog rolls :-(
LOL, our bogs at junior school were of the six in a row, wooden seat
>was prone to smearing. That sort of bog roll may have been cheaper to buy,
>but I bet any saving was outweighed by the much greater amount of paper
>that had to be used to get yourself clean.
>
>At my school, one set of toilets had open, brick-sided cubicles (no door!)
>and the furthest row of cubicles was lit only by a small window high-up on
>the wall - there were no lights down that end. The window frame and glass
>had disappeared long ago, so it was just a gap in the wall a couple of feet
>square, fifteen feet off the ground. Boys used to hold contests to see how
>many bog rolls they could lob through the window into the void behind it. I
>bet that void was knee-deep in soggy bog rolls :-(
type with water, I assume from a stream, running underneath into the
sewage system.
The favourite pastime at break was to make a paper boat, set fire to it
and send it down the row of seat in the hope we could catch someone on
the throne.
Philip Hole
Jan 14, 2021, 5:05:40 AM1/14/21
to
On 14/01/2021 01:32, Mike Swift wrote:
>
> LOL, our bogs at junior school were of the six in a row, wooden seat
> type with water, I assume from a stream, running underneath into the
> sewage system.
> The favourite pastime at break was to make a paper boat, set fire to it
> and send it down the row of seat in the hope we could catch someone on
> the throne.
>
> Mike
>
'Croninism' has been replaced with 'Cronyism'.
>
> LOL, our bogs at junior school were of the six in a row, wooden seat
> type with water, I assume from a stream, running underneath into the
> sewage system.
> The favourite pastime at break was to make a paper boat, set fire to it
> and send it down the row of seat in the hope we could catch someone on
> the throne.
>
> Mike
>
Jeff Layman
Jan 14, 2021, 6:15:27 AM1/14/21
to
On 14/01/2021 10:06, Martin wrote:
> We had a Belgian contractor where there was no paper in the toilets. Individual
> staff were issued with bog rolls. As a visitor it was embarrassing to have ask a
> staff member for the use of his bog roll.
> Martin in Zuid Holland
Is that a Belgian version of "going Dutch"? ;-)
--
Jeff
> We had a Belgian contractor where there was no paper in the toilets. Individual
> staff were issued with bog rolls. As a visitor it was embarrassing to have ask a
> staff member for the use of his bog roll.
> Martin in Zuid Holland
Is that a Belgian version of "going Dutch"? ;-)
--
Jeff
DaveG
Jan 16, 2021, 8:05:35 AM1/16/21
to
On Wed, 13 Jan 2021 10:49:19 +0000, Indy Jess John wrote:
> It did make them more usable, though it wasn't perfect.
I just spent 5 nights in a 3 star hotel who seem to be using
> It did make them more usable, though it wasn't perfect.
the cheapest Aldi/Lidl type bog roll. Glad to be home!!!
--
ad astra tabernamque
Don't feed the trolls. You might catch something nasty.
DaveG
Jan 16, 2021, 8:09:24 AM1/16/21
to
On Wed, 13 Jan 2021 20:42:05 +0000, Peter Johnson wrote:
> A year or so back a former local medical officer of health wrote to the
> Guardian to say that when absorbant tissue took over from Izal the number
> of cases of reportable diarrhoea reported to him dropped almost to
> nothing. Read that and remembered that that was something that I had
> experienced in the 1950s.
That's interesting because, IIRC, Izal was sold as "medicated" paper.
> A year or so back a former local medical officer of health wrote to the
> Guardian to say that when absorbant tissue took over from Izal the number
> of cases of reportable diarrhoea reported to him dropped almost to
> nothing. Read that and remembered that that was something that I had
> experienced in the 1950s.
I don't ever recall any kind of explanation of what was actually meant
by "medicated" or what the benefits to the user might be.
Col
Jan 16, 2021, 10:51:28 AM1/16/21
to
On 13/01/2021 09:56, NY wrote:
Rough, tough & takes no shit....
--
Col
Calum
Jan 16, 2021, 11:36:16 AM1/16/21
to
On 16/01/2021 13:09, DaveG wrote:
> That's interesting because, IIRC, Izal was sold as "medicated" paper.
> I don't ever recall any kind of explanation of what was actually meant
> by "medicated" or what the benefits to the user might be.
Disinfectant, apparently.
> That's interesting because, IIRC, Izal was sold as "medicated" paper.
> I don't ever recall any kind of explanation of what was actually meant
> by "medicated" or what the benefits to the user might be.
<https://sheffielder.net/2020/04/02/izal-the-invisible-guardian-against-risks-to-health/>
Indy Jess John
Jan 16, 2021, 12:08:32 PM1/16/21
to
On 16/01/2021 13:09, DaveG wrote:
> On Wed, 13 Jan 2021 20:42:05 +0000, Peter Johnson wrote:
>
>> A year or so back a former local medical officer of health wrote to the
>> Guardian to say that when absorbant tissue took over from Izal the number
>> of cases of reportable diarrhoea reported to him dropped almost to
>> nothing. Read that and remembered that that was something that I had
>> experienced in the 1950s.
>
> That's interesting because, IIRC, Izal was sold as "medicated" paper.
> I don't ever recall any kind of explanation of what was actually meant
> by "medicated" or what the benefits to the user might be.
>
If you get a paper cut from the sharp edges it doesn't go septic?
>
>> A year or so back a former local medical officer of health wrote to the
>> Guardian to say that when absorbant tissue took over from Izal the number
>> of cases of reportable diarrhoea reported to him dropped almost to
>> nothing. Read that and remembered that that was something that I had
>> experienced in the 1950s.
>
> That's interesting because, IIRC, Izal was sold as "medicated" paper.
> I don't ever recall any kind of explanation of what was actually meant
> by "medicated" or what the benefits to the user might be.
>
Jim
DaveG
Jan 16, 2021, 7:04:08 PM1/16/21
to
0 new messages