Official BBQ Ode, 2002

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Mary Kemp

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May 18, 2002, 10:27:51 PM5/18/02
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SODAM emerges blinking into the sunlight to the rapturous applause of the huge
throng.

She adopts Declamatory Stance no. 34 but one of the assembly calls for her to
adopt no.36 (similar to 34, but with left arm extended.) SODAM obliges, smiles
at the crowd, then unfurls the Scroll and declaims:

Official BBQ Ode 2002


umra BBQ 2002,
Held inside the Toodle' loo [1] [2]
Yet in their flower-beds, coloured pink,
Smile numerous umrats full of drink;
Dild gloriously takes effect
On several umrats, neatly decked
While from the barbie glowing hot,
Come ribs of GLOUCESTERSHIRE OLD SPOT . . .
Fetched here to the sunny south
Where BUTTER WOULDN'T MELT inside one's mouth.
See what the umrats bring to feast
Cordials brewed from hops and yeast
Ah God! to taste the chocolate cake,
Cheeses, not of HELLEN's make
(They don't smell thrilling-sweet and rotten.
Unforgettable, unforgotten.)
Quiche,and salads, ripe salami
And is that curry BIRIANI?
CRAWFISH, SQUID, apricots, figs
Marmite pork is RUBBISH WITH PIGS
All spread in Toodles' dining room
(CLOCKWISE) A haven of green gloom.

.................................

Topical insert, eighteenth of May:
The rain held off, hip, hip, hooray
.................................

God! pack, and take a train,
And get me to Reading once again!
-- Oh, damn! We know it! and we know
How to put on a decent show,
And make the day go with a bang
          Or a meringue?

Alas, today, not a chocolate plum,
Their purveyor, our umran chum
Chankel, gone to his rest sublime.
(I hope God's railway runs to time!) [3]
His memory will never go,
For CHAMPAGNE moments we will know.
Hesky gone too, and also Glyn.
Let's raise our glasses, water or gin
Coke or beer: our elbow bends
To drink a toast to absent friends


[1] written on the day, with the sky looking very overcast
[2] Toodle-oo!
[3] I bet it will now.

SODAM furls the ode, bows gracefully and glides gracefully from the dais to
rapturous calls of "Eh?", "Who's that?" "Where's her carer?" etc.

--
SODAM

Siderius Nuncius

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May 19, 2002, 3:39:51 AM5/19/02
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Mary Kemp wrote in message ...
>Official BBQ Ode 2002


>umra BBQ 2002,
>Held inside the Toodle' loo [1] [2]
>Yet in their flower-beds, coloured pink,
>Smile numerous umrats full of drink;


And Sid sent cheery waves by relay
From Shepherds Bush's campanile.


A classic Ode, SODAM. Up there with the best of them. Bravo!

Er...now about this little matter of The Ritz......
--
Sid
Shepherds Bush, West London


anon...@firedrake.org

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May 20, 2002, 9:39:12 AM5/20/02
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In message <ant19025...@julie.local.net> SODAM proclaimed and declaimed:

>SODAM emerges blinking into the sunlight to the rapturous applause of the huge
>throng.
>She adopts Declamatory Stance no. 34 but one of the assembly calls for her to
>adopt no.36 (similar to 34, but with left arm extended.) SODAM obliges, smiles
>at the crowd, then unfurls the Scroll and declaims:
>Official BBQ Ode 2002

Wish I'd been there to hear it... Splendid!

>SODAM furls the ode, bows gracefully and glides gracefully from the dais to
>rapturous calls of "Eh?", "Who's that?" "Where's her carer?" etc.

It was reassuring, when I arrived so very late as I did, to find SODAM
still in Her Aspect as Thalia, Muse of Comedy, Playful & Idyllic Poetry,
signalised by her wearing of the ivy wreath about her brow; but I think we
must provide her with the other essential for Thalia, the shepherd's staff,
next year. Otherwise she might be mistaken for Melpomene, and that would
_never_ do.

"In addition to being a Muse, she is also considered to be one of the
Three Graces. When you look at ancient Greek paintings and sculptures,
she is often depicted holding a comic mask in her left hand and a staff
in her right hand...and seems always to be wearing an ivy crown."

Alas, this leaves no hand free to hold the Scroll. Perhaps if we can
manage to get Mr Sheep to come to the BBQ, he might carry the shepherd's
staff for her and stand respectfully behind her during the Declamation. He
could use it to beat back the hordes of admirers trying to kiss the hem of
her robe

Weevil

AttLSM, UBBBA, UNCEMPT BAG, HAHA
Gotta keep rockin' while I still can
Got a two-pack habit and a motel tan.

Chris McMillan

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May 20, 2002, 1:26:28 PM5/20/02
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In message <20020520143912....@firedrake.org>,
anon...@firedrake.org writes

>In message <ant19025...@julie.local.net> SODAM proclaimed and declaimed:
>
>Alas, this leaves no hand free to hold the Scroll. Perhaps if we can
>manage to get Mr Sheep to come to the BBQ,

I do my best to get him there, but he thwarts me every time -;(

Sincerely, Chris


--
Chris McMillan

Mary Kemp

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May 20, 2002, 6:50:38 PM5/20/02
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In article <ac7li5$mtpla$3...@ID-70308.news.dfncis.de>, Siderius Nuncius
<URL:mailto:siderius...@tesco.net> wrote:

> A classic Ode, SODAM. Up there with the best of them. Bravo!
>
> Er...now about this little matter of The Ritz......

Sid! Look at those woodpigeons over there!

<woosh>

--
SODAM LG - LSS

Mary Kemp

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May 20, 2002, 6:57:47 PM5/20/02
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In article <20020520143912....@firedrake.org>,

<URL:mailto:anon...@firedrake.org> wrote:
> In message <ant19025...@julie.local.net> SODAM proclaimed and declaimed:
>
> >SODAM emerges blinking into the sunlight to the rapturous applause of the huge
> >throng.
> >She adopts Declamatory Stance no. 34 but one of the assembly calls for her to
> >adopt no.36 (similar to 34, but with left arm extended.) SODAM obliges, smiles
> >at the crowd, then unfurls the Scroll and declaims:
> >Official BBQ Ode 2002

> It was reassuring, when I arrived so very late as I did, to find SODAM


> still in Her Aspect as Thalia, Muse of Comedy, Playful & Idyllic Poetry,
> signalised by her wearing of the ivy wreath about her brow; but I think we
> must provide her with the other essential for Thalia, the shepherd's staff,
> next year. Otherwise she might be mistaken for Melpomene, and that would
> _never_ do.

Oh dear me, no.

She let that Kenton down good and proper.



> "In addition to being a Muse, she is also considered to be one of the
> Three Graces. When you look at ancient Greek paintings and sculptures,
> she is often depicted holding a comic mask in her left hand and a staff
> in her right hand...and seems always to be wearing an ivy crown."

Would a Mickey Mouse mask do? I know where I can get one.



> Alas, this leaves no hand free to hold the Scroll. Perhaps if we can
> manage to get Mr Sheep to come to the BBQ, he might carry the shepherd's
> staff for her and stand respectfully behind her during the Declamation. He
> could use it to beat back the hordes of admirers trying to kiss the hem of
> her robe

What a charming picture this conjures up. Perhaps Mr Sheep could act as bearer,
but let him not repel all boarders. Suffer the umrats to come unto me.

<I was a little pertubed by the antics of one, but he explained that he was
trying to kiss my new garter.>

Siderius Nuncius

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May 21, 2002, 2:37:31 AM5/21/02
to

Mary Kemp wrote in message ...

<boggle>
And I always thought you were such a *nice* gel!

Linda Fox

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May 21, 2002, 12:46:08 PM5/21/02
to
anon...@firedrake.org wrote:

> It was reassuring, when I arrived so very late as I did, to find SODAM
> still in Her Aspect as Thalia, Muse of Comedy, Playful & Idyllic Poetry,

I look through your capitals and tried to work out whether I'd ever
encountered the acronym HAT McPIP before...


>
> "In addition to being a Muse, she is also considered to be one of the
> Three Graces. When you look at ancient Greek paintings and sculptures,
> she is often depicted holding a comic mask in her left hand

Wot, one of those Dennis the Menace jobbies?

> and a staff in her right hand...

It's what your right arm's for, isn't it?


--
Linda ff

anon...@firedrake.org

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May 21, 2002, 2:54:01 PM5/21/02
to
In message <3CEA7B4B...@fox.freedombird.net> Linda ff wrote:

>anon...@firedrake.org wrote:
>> It was reassuring, when I arrived so very late as I did, to find SODAM
>> still in Her Aspect as Thalia, Muse of Comedy, Playful & Idyllic Poetry,
>I look through your capitals and tried to work out whether I'd ever
>encountered the acronym HAT McPIP before...

Dem wasn't accronymical, just decent honest respect. Not every day one
encounters the avatar of a muse, after all.

Mind you, I'm sure there's room for an explanation of HAT McPIP apart from
the obvious. This is umra, after all.

>> "In addition to being a Muse, she is also considered to be one of the
>> Three Graces. When you look at ancient Greek paintings and sculptures,
>> she is often depicted holding a comic mask in her left hand
>Wot, one of those Dennis the Menace jobbies?

:-] Somerat must have one they aren't using. Or SODAM herself mentioned
she has a Mickey Mouse mask.

>> and a staff in her right hand...
>It's what your right arm's for, isn't it?

Don't ask me, I just found the quote! I did suggest it might be useful for
beating back the admiring hordes. I suppose it could be put into service
as an eggwhisk?

Btms

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May 21, 2002, 3:31:44 PM5/21/02
to
Mary Kemp provoked me into replying by saying among other things:

>SODAM emerges blinking into the sunlight to the rapturous applause of the huge
>throng.
>Official BBQ Ode 2002
>

I was going to award you the LSS Order of the Garter but due to
incompetence in the Knicker Department I regret to say this has gone the
way of the BTA's 2002 :-( However, we must be grateful for this being a
private matter - nobody on umra knows anything about it. Whew! It might
have been one of those embarrassing Ritz moments otherwise.

--
Btms

Siderius Nuncius

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May 21, 2002, 2:56:25 PM5/21/02
to

Linda Fox wrote in message

>anon...@firedrake.org wrote:
>
>> and a staff in her right hand...
>
>It's what your right arm's for, isn't it?

Quite. Although Jeremy Hardy did remark that President Clinton broke the
commandment that "Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff".

Mary Kemp

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May 21, 2002, 5:51:25 PM5/21/02
to
In article <xAo2OxAgCq68Ew$7...@linda.reflectman.com>, Btms

But I've got it!

Haven't you seen my new sig: LG - LSS?
(Lady of the Garter, Lynda Snell Society.)

I shall henceforth be known as Lady SODAM on formal occasions.

--
Mary Kemp

Martin Clark

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May 21, 2002, 7:55:04 PM5/21/02
to
I may be imagining things, but I thought Siderius Nuncius muttered
something about...

>
>Linda Fox wrote in message
>>anon...@firedrake.org wrote:
>>
>>> and a staff in her right hand...
>>
>>It's what your right arm's for, isn't it?
>
>Quite. Although Jeremy Hardy did remark that President Clinton broke the
>commandment that "Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff".

Or vice versa.
--
Martin

Btms

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May 22, 2002, 2:02:44 PM5/22/02
to
Mary Kemp provoked me into replying by saying among other things:
>In article <xAo2OxAgCq68Ew$7...@linda.reflectman.com>, Btms
><URL:mailto:Bt...@reflect.fsbusiness.co.uk> wrote:
>> Mary Kemp provoked me into replying by saying among other things:
>> >SODAM emerges blinking into the sunlight to the rapturous applause
>> >of the huge
>> >throng.
>> >Official BBQ Ode 2002
>> >
>>
>> I was going to award you the LSS Order of the Garter but due to
>> incompetence in the Knicker Department I regret to say this has gone the
>> way of the BTA's 2002 :-( However, we must be grateful for this being a
>> private matter - nobody on umra knows anything about it. Whew! It might
>> have been one of those embarrassing Ritz moments otherwise.
>
>But I've got it!
>
>Haven't you seen my new sig: LG - LSS?
>(Lady of the Garter, Lynda Snell Society.)
>
>I shall henceforth be known as Lady SODAM on formal occasions.
>

Where's the pictorial evidence then? Where is the applause and
admiration of the of the thong - OOPS sorry, I meant throng.
--
Btms

Robin Fairbairns

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May 24, 2002, 2:46:37 PM5/24/02
to
Mary Kemp <ma...@ajl-electronics.demon.co.uk> writes:

>Siderius Nuncius <siderius...@tesco.net> wrote:
>> A classic Ode, SODAM. Up there with the best of them. Bravo!
>>
>> Er...now about this little matter of The Ritz......
>
>Sid! Look at those woodpigeons over there!
>
><woosh>

ooh, you're such a mata hari. i'ld never have thought it.
--
Robin Fairbairns, Cambridge -- rf10 at cam dot ac dot uk

Robin Fairbairns

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May 24, 2002, 2:49:01 PM5/24/02
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anon...@firedrake.org writes:
> He could use it to beat back the hordes of admirers trying to kiss
>the hem of her robe

coo. i never thought of kissing the hem of her robe!

i shall have to give that a go next year...

anon...@firedrake.org

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May 24, 2002, 6:09:52 PM5/24/02
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In message <acm1ut$lje$5...@pegasus.csx.cam.ac.uk> TNMF wrote:

> anon...@firedrake.org writes:
>> He could use it to beat back the hordes of admirers trying to kiss
>>the hem of her robe
>coo. i never thought of kissing the hem of her robe!
>i shall have to give that a go next year...

Just make sure Mr Sheep hasn't turned up.

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