'Joke'
Black Francis
A car pulls up alongside . . . the driver asks, "Do you two want a lift?"
One of the packets replies, "No thanks . . . we're Walkers."
:o)
--
Black Francis
'The stench of poverty hangs in the air like an old man's nappy'
(Chris Morris, Brass Eye)
xena
> Two packets of crisps were walking down a road in pouring rain.
>
> A car pulls up alongside . . . the driver asks, "Do you two want a lift?"
>
> One of the packets replies, "No thanks . . . we're Walkers."
Bah!!
Go to bed!! ;-)
audley
Francis) wrote:
>Two packets of crisps were walking down a road in pouring rain.
>
>A car pulls up alongside . . . the driver asks, "Do you two want a lift?"
>
>One of the packets replies, "No thanks . . . we're Walkers."
>
LOL they must be the bags with the twenty pounds extra! :o)
audley.
Dave
"Black Francis" <blackfr...@aol.come-shot> wrote in message
> Two packets of crisps were walking down a road in pouring rain.
>
> A car pulls up alongside . . . the driver asks, "Do you two want a lift?"
>
> One of the packets replies, "No thanks . . . we're Walkers."
>
Dave
Black Francis
>> Two packets of crisps were walking down a road in pouring rain.
>>
>> A car pulls up alongside . . . the driver asks, "Do you two want a lift?"
>>
>> One of the packets replies, "No thanks . . . we're Walkers."
>>
>mmmm keep on walking
Well, I did put 'Joke' in quotes... :o)
Jez
"Black Francis" <blackfr...@aol.come-shot> wrote in message
> >From: "Dave" david....@spamfreezonentlworld.com
> Well, I did put 'Joke' in quotes... :o)
Oh well you asked for it..... (you didn't but what the heck):
Whats got four legs and an arm?
A happy pit bull !
A guy traveling through the prairies of the USA stopped
at a small town and went to a bar. He stood at the end
of the bar, ordered a drink, and lit up a cigar.
As he sipped his drink, he stood there quietly blowing
smoke rings. After he blew nine or ten smoke rings into
the air, an angry American Indian stomped up to him
and said, "One more remark like that and I'll smash your
face in!"
.............
A man doing market research knocked on a door and
was greeted by a young woman with three small children
running around at her feet.
He said, "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have
you ever used it?"
She said, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time."
"And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?"
"We use it for sex."
The researcher was a little taken aback. He said,
"Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a
bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact,
I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you
for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can
you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?"
The woman said, "I don't mind telling you at all. My
husband and I put it on the door knob and it keeps the
kids out."
....................
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could
buy him a drink.
"Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have
another round to Ireland."
"Of Course," replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks:
"Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have
another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first
man asks: "What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '62."
"This is unbelievable!" the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I
graduated in '62, too!"
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk
again."
.....................
A Police Car went to a hit and run scene:
The first policeman says to the second, "Write: Body on the road, hands on
the road, legs on the road, head on the pavement."
The other policeman thinks for a moment, then asks, "How do you spell
pavement?"
So the first policeman looks around, kicks the head and says, "Head on the
road."
.................................
A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a
long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal
every morning.
The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93.
When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great
grandchildren and a fifteen foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
Ho Hum.......
Jez
audley
wrote:
>
>"Black Francis" <blackfr...@aol.come-shot> wrote in message
>news:20011125172825...@mb-dd.aol.com...
>> >From: "Dave" david....@spamfreezonentlworld.com
>> Well, I did put 'Joke' in quotes... :o)
>
>Oh well you asked for it..... (you didn't but what the heck):
>
>Whats got four legs and an arm?
>A happy pit bull !
<snip>
What do you do if a bird craps on your car?
Don't ask her out again.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months:
I don't like to interrupt her. :o)
audley