Pukka Sahib
sage
"There's a Little Yellow Idol to the North of Katamandu." It featured
Stanley Holloway, Lesley Henson (?) and Cyril Richard.
I have a copy of the first page of the script. Does anyone know where I
might be able to get the whole thing?
Thanks.
Blade Runner
wrote:
I seem to remember SH doing that but searches don't come up with
anything.
Best I can do is the poem itself.
http://www.outhouse.demon.co.uk/madcarew.htm
--
Geoff (Blade Runner) OETKB
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Chris Rockcliffe
> A bit of a long shot: But does anyone remember a 1930's sketch based on
> "There's a Little Yellow Idol to the North of Katamandu." It featured
> Stanley Holloway, Lesley Henson (?) and Cyril Richard.
>
> I have a copy of the first page of the script. Does anyone know where I
> might be able to get the whole thing?
It's taken me a while, but I've found the script for you (see below). 60
years ago, this was fresh, new theatre comedy and people loved it. Henson
and Holloway were both brilliant comedians of course, but I could see
Stephen Fry, Hugh Lawrie and Rowan Atkinson - for instance - do this or
something similar now - with only a few minor upgrades.
My mother saw this show in London when she was posted to the fire service
down there during the blitz. It's a bit long, so apologies to the
disinterested.
Longshots sometimes do work on usenet! Enjoy.
Gan canny,
Chris Rockcliffe
PUKKA SAHIB
(Based on 'The Green Eye of The Little Yellow God', by Milton Hayes)
Sketch by Reginald Purdell (1940)
Played in 'Up and Doing' at the Saville Theatre, London during the WW2 -
1940-42, with the following cast of Characters:
The Reciter: Stanley Holloway
The Colonel: Leslie Henson
The Major: Cyril Ritchard
(The Reciter walks onto the stage and prepares to recite.)
Reciter:
Ladies and Gentlemen... The Green Eye of the little Yellow God, by Milton
Hayes...
There's a green-eyed yellow idol to the north of Khatmandu
There's a little marble cross below the town;
There's a ...
The Colonel: (Interrupting from a box in the dress circle.) "Have you
been there lately?"
Reciter: ....I beg your pardon.?
The Major: (louder from the box.) The Colonel said, 'Have you been there
lately?'
Reciter: Where?
Both: Khatmandu.
Reciter: No, as a matter of fact I haven't been there for some time.
The Major: What were you there with? Indian army ? Indian civil ?
The Colonel: Or the Fol-de-Rols?
Reciter: Well, to be perfectly frank...
The Major: As a matter of fact I know Khatmandu well. It's a second home to
me.
The Colonel: I love every inch of the place. I was only there last year.
The Major: I came through a couple of months ago on my way home. The whole
place was changed terribly.
The Colonel: Yes, bad show.
Reciter: That's very interesting. But why are you telling me all this.
The Major: just to put you right geographically.
The Colonel: You see, the whole place has been changed under a town
planning scheme.
The Major: For instance, there's a large public library and public baths
combined erected in the square. The Office of Works have moved the idol to
the south of Katmandu.
The Colonel: And the cemetery has been moved and there is now a cinema.
Hideous thing.
The Major: So that marble cross you spoke about is now above the town.
Reciter: Perhaps I'd better start again.
Both: But do.
Reciter:
The Green Eye of the Little Yellow God, by Milton Hayes.
There's a green-eyed yellow idol to the . . .
The Major: South!.
Reciter:
South! of Katmandu.
There's a little marble cross ...
The Colonel: Above!.
Reciter:(Dully.)
Above... the town.
There's a broken-hearted woman tends the grave of Mad
Carew...
The Major: (interrupting) Did you know Fanny Shannon?
Reciter: Did I know who?
The Major: Fanny Shannon. You remember General Shannon's eldest girl?.
The Colonel: Tim Shannon - damn good scout.
The Major: Yes indeed, You're quite out of order saying she was
broken-hearted. She was naturally upset at Carew's death, but she got over
it.
The Colonel: Didn't she marry a rich American?
The Major: Yes, they've got three boys at St Paul's.
Reciter: How then shall I describe her?
The Major:Oh - (Whispers to the Colonel.) We suggest a 'comparatively
broken-hearted woman'.
Reciter: I'd better start again.
Both: But do.
The Major: Only you don't mind if we have a drink.
The Colonel: Splendid idea. (He rises to go.)
The Major: Oh, there's no need to go, Colonel. You can get one here. I've
got Sabu standing by.
(An Indian Servant enters and salutes.)
The Major: What will you have?
The Colonel: I'll have a chota-peg.
The Major: One chota-peg, and I'll have a Passion Fruit.
(The Indian Servant exits.)
Oh, and Sabu - not too much fruit.
Reciter: May I carry on?
Both: But do.
Reciter:
There's a green-eyed yellow idol to the South of Katmandu.
There's a little marble cross above the town.
There's a comparatively broken-hearted woman
Tends the grave of Mad Carew
and the little god for ever gazes down.
The Colonel: Up!, sir, up!.
Reciter: (Hastily.) Up. He was known as Mad Carew.
The Major: Oh, ridiculous!. The man wasn't mad at all... he was mentally
deficient yes. You couldn't call him absolutely crackers.
Reciter:
He was known as mentally deficient Carew
by the Subs. of Katmandu.
He was hotter than they felt inclined to tell.
The Colonel: Too much curry powder. Too much Mepharine.
Reciter: (Miserably.)
But for all his foolish pranks ...
The Major: Foolish pranks be damned, sir!. You don't call writing rude
words on the walls foolish pranks.
Reciter: Well, I didn't know.
The Colonel: No, neither did 1.
The Major: What?, Carew? Horrible habits?.
The Colonel: Tell me a couple. (They whisper.) No - Government House.
The Major: Government House. I tell you, the Viceroy was livid. In front of
Noel Coward, too.
Reciter:
He was worshipped in the ranks.
And the Colonel's daughter smiled on him as well ...
(The Colonel and the Major rise.)
The Major: Now, that's a cad's remark, sir. If you want to know, my brother
was engaged to her at the time.
(He attempts to climb over the box.)
Reciter: I'm sorry, I didn't know. I apologise.
The Colonel: I should darn well think so. (To the Major.) I'd accept his
apology.
The Major: Would you? Very well, we don't want a scene.
The Colonel: We needn't look.
The Major: No, turn your back on the blighter. (He picks up a programme.)
Who is he? (Announces Reciter's name.) Never heard of him. Hippodrome or
local theatre, I suppose?.
Reciter:
She was nearly twenty-one...
The Colonel: (With a roar of derisive laughter.) Twenty-one be damned! She
was thirty-nine if she was a day.
The Major: Mind you, she didn't took it. She had everything lifted - or
practically everything. All the main essentials.
Reciter:
And arrangements had been made
to celebrate her birthday with a ball.
The Colonel: Extraordinary. I don't remember that.
The Major: No, I think you were away at the time. It was during the rains.
You were up at Rumblechellypore - on that sewage commission.
Reciter: He wrote to ask what present
she would like from Mentally Deficient Carew.
They met next day as he dismissed his squad.
The Colonel: Platoon!.
Reciter:
As he dismissed his Squad.
The Colonel: Platoon!.
Reciter: Squad!.
The Colonel: The Subaltern commands a Platoon!.
Reciter: But it must be a squad, it's got to rhyme with Yellow God.
The Major: We don't give a hoot what it's got to rhyme with, sir. King's
Regulations - it's a Platoon.
Reciter:
They met next day as he dismissed his platoon.
And jokingly she said
That nothing else would do
But the green eye of the...
The Major: Chocolate-coloured coon!...
The Colonel: (Roaring with laughter.) Jolly good!.
Reciter: (Hysterical.)
The night before the dance.
Mentally Deficient Carew sat in a trance...
The Major: Sat in a trance?... He sat in a blancmange!. I remember it well.
He was as tight as a tick.
Reciter:
And they chafed him as they puffed at their cigars...
The Colonel: Wait a minute. Chafed him? Are you referring to his underwear
or his brother officers?
Reciter: His brother officers.
The Major: Then the word is, 'chaffed' - or if you come from the North
Country - the 'A' is short and it would be 'chaft'.
Reciter: It might interest you to know that I do come from the North
Country. I would prefer the word chaft.
The Colonel: Then by all means say chaft.
Reciter: Very well, I will say chaft.
Both: But do.
Reciter: (Lapsing into North Country dialect.)
And they chaft him as they puffed at their cigars.
(The Colonel and the Major laugh and applaud.)
(Enter the Indian Servant. He speaks in double-talk Hindustani.)
The Major: Oh, we can't get a drink here. Come on, let's go to the bar.
Sorry we've got to go, so we'll leave you poofing and chaffing.
Reciter:
Gentlemen, please, Gentlemen, will you please let me continue. Don't you
realise this is my livelihood, my business? May I please continue?
Both: But do. (They both laugh.)
Reciter:
(Going mad.)
There's a broken-hearted Idol
To the West of Mad Carew;
There's a cross-eyed yellow woman
Doing all a Cat Can Doo. Ha Ha Ha!
(He screams insanely and rushes from the stage.)