Please help me to be 'correct'.

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Rum Rat

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Jul 27, 2001, 2:03:40 PM7/27/01
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I reach he ripe old age of 65 in a couple of weeks time. I have my
pension book ready to join the queue an hour before the Post Office
opens, but I want to do the other 'correct' things.

I have already test driven a large BMW so I can sit in the middle of the
road at 35 on the open road and 25 in the 30 limit.

I am practising walking through a door which has been held open for me
without saying 'Thank you'

I tried tonight in the supermarket at holding my trolley at right angles
across the aisle whilst I sorted through the various merchandise looking
for one which was 'just right'.

I even tried holding a conversation with someone whilst we blocked the
aisle. We were talking about the heat wave, is that off topic enough?

I am also perfecting the practice of stopping at mini roundabouts until
everything has gone and there is nothing in site, and THEN making sure
that none of my wheels touch the white paint on the little mini
roundabout. I think that is right isn't it?

I cannot start yet, but I am getting ready for when someone tells me how
much a thing is, in saying 'How much? I'm only a pensioner you know' and
whilst on the subject of money and prices, I have dug back into my
memory and I can remember when a bottle of milk was the old 6 pence,
'Two and a half pence in today's money, and when I was a paper boy, the
daily paper was one old penny and petrol was 2/6 a gallon, a weekly
ticket on the East/West Cowes Floating Bridge was 9 pence, A WEEKLY
TICKET!!'

How am I doing?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The Rum Rat. Draw a TOT to reply.
Reunions? http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/iowtours/reunion.htm
Looking for your old Service Pals? http://www.lostcomms.co.uk
Reunions? http://Reunions4u.co.uk

Tony

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Jul 27, 2001, 2:32:09 PM7/27/01
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"Rum Rat" <rum...@rumTOTtub.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:9FCdlNA8...@rumtub.demon.co.uk...

> I reach he ripe old age of 65 in a couple of weeks time. I have my
> pension book ready to join the queue an hour before the Post Office
> opens, but I want to do the other 'correct' things.
>
> I have already test driven a large BMW so I can sit in the middle of the
> road at 35 on the open road and 25 in the 30 limit.
>
> I am practising walking through a door which has been held open for me
> without saying 'Thank you'
>
> I tried tonight in the supermarket at holding my trolley at right angles
> across the aisle whilst I sorted through the various merchandise looking
> for one which was 'just right'.
>
> I even tried holding a conversation with someone whilst we blocked the
> aisle. We were talking about the heat wave, is that off topic enough?
>
> I am also perfecting the practice of stopping at mini roundabouts until
> everything has gone and there is nothing in site, and THEN making sure
> that none of my wheels touch the white paint on the little mini
> roundabout. I think that is right isn't it?
>
> I cannot start yet, but I am getting ready for when someone tells me how
> much a thing is, in saying 'How much? I'm only a pensioner you know' and
> whilst on the subject of money and prices, I have dug back into my
> memory and I can remember when a bottle of milk was the old 6 pence,
> 'Two and a half pence in today's money, and when I was a paper boy, the
> daily paper was one old penny and petrol was 2/6 a gallon, a weekly
> ticket on the East/West Cowes Floating Bridge was 9 pence, A WEEKLY
> TICKET!!'
>

You could also try looking out of your living room window at the road
outside, saying "who's that" every time someone walks past.
You will also need to get a good supply of hats to put on the parcel shelf
of your car.
And you mustn't forget to practice the classic, of standing next to a zebra
crossing looking like you're going to cross but really you're only having a
conversation with your friend.

Tony

Rum Rat

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Jul 27, 2001, 2:44:50 PM7/27/01
to
In article <Xsi87.11763$vN4....@news11-gui.server.ntli.net>, Tony
<t74...@hotmail.com> writes

>
>
>You could also try looking out of your living room window at the road
>outside, saying "who's that" every time someone walks past.
Loud enough of course for the people passing to hear. Thank you for that
one. That's easy to practice as I live close to the Railway station and
we have people passing ALL the time, AND, we only have a short front
garden:-))

>You will also need to get a good supply of hats to put on the parcel shelf
>of your car.

Of course. Trouble is I will have to buy some 'cos I don't wear a hat. I
KNOW, I will go to the Jumble Sale and sort through THE LOT and then buy
1.

>And you mustn't forget to practice the classic, of standing next to a zebra
>crossing looking like you're going to cross but really you're only having a
>conversation with your friend.

Of course. How silly of me to miss that one. Thank you.
>
>Tony
>
>
>
:-))

(How do you do a wrinklie smiley?)

Bulldog

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Jul 27, 2001, 3:06:25 PM7/27/01
to

"Rum Rat" <rum...@rumTOTtub.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:9FCdlNA8...@rumtub.demon.co.uk...
> I reach he ripe old age of 65 in a couple of weeks time. I have my
> pension book ready to join the queue an hour before the Post Office
> opens, but I want to do the other 'correct' things.
>
> I have already test driven a large BMW so I can sit in the middle of the
> road at 35 on the open road and 25 in the 30 limit.

You need to practice a good script that'll last you a good hours monologue
on 'The Kids Of Today" featuring special sections on "How They Have It So
Easy" and the old faithful "It Weren't Like That In My Day" and culminating
in the "We Had Nothing But A Stick To Play With But We Were Happier". ;-]

Cheers, Lee


Ezwin

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Jul 27, 2001, 5:19:18 PM7/27/01
to

Rum Rat <rum...@rumTOTtub.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:9FCdlNA8...@rumtub.demon.co.uk...

Two things you have forgotten:

Making appointments (often) with doctors, dentists, etc. for when they first
open so people who need to get to work can wait behind you.

Driving your car during the morning and evening rush hours when the journey
could easily be made at another time during the day.

Perhaps we could have a morning and evening curfew for pensioners?

Roger


catmandoo

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Jul 27, 2001, 5:22:29 PM7/27/01
to
Old Git must dos

Talk in a very loud voice about the person standing next to you.

Walk around with yesterdays breakfast stuck to your chops.

Have a perpetual dew drop hanging from your snitch.

Smell of stale piddle.

Never wear your false teeth.

Don't buy a BMW, buy a clapped out Lada Riva.

Complain about anyone "younger" and how they dont know they're born.

Push your way to the front of queues.

Sound familiar Mike?

It will do

cmd29

Bulldog

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Jul 27, 2001, 5:43:13 PM7/27/01
to

"Bulldog" <l...@nospam.bulldoginternet.co.uk> wrote in message
news:J_i87.11823$vN4....@news11-gui.server.ntli.net...

>
> "Rum Rat" <rum...@rumTOTtub.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
> news:9FCdlNA8...@rumtub.demon.co.uk...
> > I reach he ripe old age of 65 in a couple of weeks time. I have my
> > pension book ready to join the queue an hour before the Post Office
> > opens, but I want to do the other 'correct' things.

Ah and nearly forgot ....

Wait 20 minutes at a bus stop, get on the bus and get off again at next stop
that is 300 yards away. Repeat on journey home.

Cheers, Lee

Jack Mathews

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Jul 28, 2001, 3:23:45 AM7/28/01
to

"Ezwin" <tri...@ntlworld.com> wrote in message
news:rSk87.33218$SK6.3...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
Suckers all of you -this thread is all about it being Mike`s birthday quite
soon and he would like lotsa good wishes and THIS THE FIRST(you will
probably need new specs as well)
ATB
Regards
Jack Mathews


BaP

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Jul 28, 2001, 3:44:46 AM7/28/01
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Hi
I Was 65 on the 16 of this month, you have forgot to mention, !!don't get
sick!! cause no one cares.

"Rum Rat" <rum...@rumTOTtub.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:9FCdlNA8...@rumtub.demon.co.uk...

John

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Jul 28, 2001, 3:59:29 AM7/28/01
to
In article <9FCdlNA8...@rumtub.demon.co.uk>, Rum Rat
<rum...@rumTOTtub.demon.co.uk> writes

>I reach he ripe old age of 65 in a couple of weeks time. I have my
>pension book ready to join the queue an hour before the Post Office
>opens, but I want to do the other 'correct' things.
>
(snip of funny but true stuff)

How about:

1. Meeting your mates in town and wandering up and down the pavement 5
abreast at a funereal pace so that nobody can get past?

2. Becoming a founder member of the "Isle of Whinge" Party?

3. Castigating anybody who does not wear a white flat cap, shorts, open
toed sandals (with the regulation black socks).

4. Wait outside shops with a vacant look while your other half inspects
*every* piece of merchandise without the intention of buying anything.

5. Ringing Alex Dyke's talk-show so often he calls you by your first
name- but have nothing intelligent to add other than your 10 seconds of
Island-fame ("I was on the radio, you know!")

6. Boast about impossible feats you performed when young, and if
challenged, respond "Well, it was something like that")

:-))))
--
John

Old Don

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Jul 28, 2001, 5:03:03 AM7/28/01
to
Mike, you could start enjoying lower price entrance fees, and be happy that
you've actually reached the age of 65, knowing that a good proportion of
the arrogant younger people who think that they will be blessed with
perpetual youth, will not.
--
Old Don
Remove 'detouter-' when replying

Ezwin

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Jul 28, 2001, 7:19:03 AM7/28/01
to

Old Don <d...@detouter-westwight.clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:01c11743$f0c9f6e0$33887ed4@donadams...

Changing the subject slightly and not meaning any disrespect to anyone...

Do people agree with legalising voluntary euthanasia when supervised and
agreed by two doctors?

Roger


Timothy Lee

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Jul 28, 2001, 5:56:27 AM7/28/01
to
In article <6608909e.01072...@posting.google.com>, catmandoo
<catma...@hotmail.com> writes
>Old Git must dos

>
>
>Never wear your false teeth.
No, you wear them, but only just, so they fall out a lot.
>

--
Timothy Lee http://www.wightproperty.com

Rum Rat

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Jul 28, 2001, 12:21:14 PM7/28/01
to
In article <H9x87.401$ip4.2...@news2-win.server.ntlworld.com>, Ezwin
<tri...@ntlworld.com> writes

>
>
>Do people agree with legalising voluntary euthanasia when supervised and
>agreed by two doctors?
>
Oi!! I said 65, not 100 and bloody 65!!!

:-(((((

Ezwin

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Jul 28, 2001, 1:22:06 PM7/28/01
to

Rum Rat <rum...@rumTOTtub.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:VRDXwFA6...@rumtub.demon.co.uk...

> In article <H9x87.401$ip4.2...@news2-win.server.ntlworld.com>, Ezwin
> <tri...@ntlworld.com> writes
> >
> >
> >Do people agree with legalising voluntary euthanasia when supervised and
> >agreed by two doctors?
> >
> Oi!! I said 65, not 100 and bloody 65!!!

And I said voluntary not compulsory Mike!

Roger


John

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Jul 28, 2001, 1:39:20 PM7/28/01
to
In article <H9x87.401$ip4.2...@news2-win.server.ntlworld.com>, Ezwin
<tri...@ntlworld.com> writes
>
>
> Changing the subject slightly and not meaning any disrespect to anyone...
>
>Do people agree with legalising voluntary euthanasia when supervised and
>agreed by two doctors?
>
Yes. Having witnessed pain and death by cancer (twice), I believe that
a person has a right to die with dignity and at a time of his/her
choosing.

--
John

IAN GARDNER

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Jul 27, 2001, 3:52:46 PM7/27/01
to

"Rum Rat" <rum...@rumTOTtub.demon.co.uk> wrote in message

news:9FCdlNA8...@rumtub.demon.co.uk...


> I reach he ripe old age of 65 in a couple of weeks time. I have my
> pension book ready to join the queue an hour before the Post Office
> opens, but I want to do the other 'correct' things.

Pension day. How lovely. They dither and dather for that phonebill savings
book and buy a stamp for it payed for by 100 pennies!

> I have already test driven a large BMW so I can sit in the middle of the
> road at 35 on the open road and 25 in the 30 limit.

That`s good. I don`t drive a car. Just don`t run me over through! Oh you
cannot because I can dodge out of the way quicker!

> I am practising walking through a door which has been held open for me
> without saying 'Thank you'

LOL! If it`s me opening the door for you then be prepaired for ` That`s
alright` out loud and `That`s ok. No need to say thankyou!`

> I tried tonight in the supermarket at holding my trolley at right angles
> across the aisle whilst I sorted through the various merchandise looking
> for one which was 'just right'.

I`ve got to remember that when i`m `That Old!`

> I even tried holding a conversation with someone whilst we blocked the
> aisle. We were talking about the heat wave, is that off topic enough?

Totally ON topic. You should have talked about the over 60`s club that you
go to. I here that that is the `COOL` thing to do.

> I am also perfecting the practice of stopping at mini roundabouts until
> everything has gone and there is nothing in site, and THEN making sure
> that none of my wheels touch the white paint on the little mini
> roundabout. I think that is right isn't it?

How funny. You are once more correct!

> I cannot start yet, but I am getting ready for when someone tells me how
> much a thing is, in saying 'How much? I'm only a pensioner you know' and
> whilst on the subject of money and prices, I have dug back into my
> memory and I can remember when a bottle of milk was the old 6 pence,
> 'Two and a half pence in today's money, and when I was a paper boy, the
> daily paper was one old penny and petrol was 2/6 a gallon, a weekly
> ticket on the East/West Cowes Floating Bridge was 9 pence, A WEEKLY
> TICKET!!'
>
> How am I doing?

You are doing very well indeed. How funny!
Also walk in the middle of a narrow pathment very slowly! When getting on a
bus remember to make sure that it is hard for you to step up onto the first
step onto the bus. remember to use your stick all the time even through you
may not need it!

Enjoy your very `OLD` age my friend!

--
SEE YER,
IAN. P. GARDNER
SOUTH ENGLAND
ISLE OF WIGHT
i...@gardner44.freeserve.co.uk
www.gardner44.freeserve.co.uk

IAN GARDNER

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Jul 27, 2001, 3:54:02 PM7/27/01
to

"Tony" <t74...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:Xsi87.11763$vN4....@news11-gui.server.ntli.net...


>
> "Rum Rat" <rum...@rumTOTtub.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
> news:9FCdlNA8...@rumtub.demon.co.uk...
> > I reach he ripe old age of 65 in a couple of weeks time. I have my
> > pension book ready to join the queue an hour before the Post Office
> > opens, but I want to do the other 'correct' things.
> >
>

> You could also try looking out of your living room window at the road
> outside, saying "who's that" every time someone walks past.
> You will also need to get a good supply of hats to put on the parcel shelf
> of your car.
> And you mustn't forget to practice the classic, of standing next to a
zebra
> crossing looking like you're going to cross but really you're only having
a
> conversation with your friend.

How funny!!!!!!1

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