Brendan, I think that you may be underestimating how difficult it is to
get a non molestation order extended. It is not just a rubber stamping
exercise. So, even if you had turned up, it might not have been granted.
The Catch 22 seems to be: if the family member abided by the order then
things have probably calmed down and he/she should not have his freedom
impeded for longer than needed. So, you may need a solicitor in order to
make a successful application. Or to convince you that you can't.