Finally came out
Robert Titman
OK so I've decided to give the group another go, deleting all religious or
crossposted posts on sight to help maintain my sanity. Thanks to everyone
who emailed me after my last leaving posting.
Well I finally plucked up the courage to come out to my dad after lots of
prodding from on-line friends telling me to just get on with it :)
I waited until he was about to go to bed (after a few false starts) last
night. I just said 'before you go to bed can I talk to you for a while?' and
then just said 'I'm gay' skipping the whole conversational bit which I
always get stuck on.
He took it fantastically well, he said he thought I was, and he's glad I
finally broke the taboo. And he said I'm still me and it doesn't make any
difference as long as I'm happy.
So I'm obviously /such/ a queen that my dad knew anyway and just wasn't
talking about it until I made the first move!
I was on a high for hours afterwards because it was just zero stress, he was
really great and now I've got nothing to hide. In fact I guess I class as
openly gay now, which is nice :)
I think I should feel lucky to have such great parents, he's taken it even
better than my mum did and she only got stressed out because she felt my
life was going to be hard and the world would be against me. No one's tried
to change me, suggested it's a choice or a phase or anything!
Anyway, just wanted to share that with everyone :)
BFN,
Rob.
* still kisses with saliva
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Ronan Flood
> Well I finally plucked up the courage to come out to my dad ...
Congratulations!
> He took it fantastically well, he said he thought I was, and he's glad I
> finally broke the taboo. And he said I'm still me and it doesn't make any
> difference as long as I'm happy.
Sounds like the best result you could have.
> I think I should feel lucky to have such great parents, ...
Yes, I think you are.
> Anyway, just wanted to share that with everyone :)
Thank you. I'm glad it went so well for you.
> * still kisses with saliva
Apparently, the secret is to keep swallowing (your own! :)
Not that I'd know ...
I came out to a colleague at work yesterday -- I'd previously mentioned
in passing that I'd been at Pride, and he brought it up, asking me why
I was there. So I said "because I'm gay", and he seems perfectly
relaxed about it. Mind you, we had a former colleague who was a fairly
obviously queen, and he had no problem with that, so I thought I would
be on reasonably safe ground.
Still, he is the first person I've told, outside of people here and on
uk-motss, I suppose. The first step on a long (and, at 36, much delayed)
journey, perhaps. I celebrated with a bottle of champagne -- well, any
excuse, and it was reduced in Safeway :)
Not sure if I'll go any further, though. I suppose I might work up the
courage to tell one of my sisters, when I see her over Christmas
I'd rather not do it over the phone -- or would anyone advise that as
preferrable?
Maybe next year I'll feel able to do something about a relationship,
and/or sex ... :(
--
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Michael N
Robert Titman wrote in message ...
>
> OK so I've decided to give the group another go, deleting all religious
> or crossposted posts on sight to help maintain my sanity.
>
>
> He took it fantastically well, he said he thought I was, and he's glad I
> finally broke the taboo. And he said I'm still me and it doesn't make any
> difference as long as I'm happy.
The BIG question though, is: is it OK with God that you're gay?
Kidding, sweetie, congratulations!
Mik
David Quinton
<robe...@argonet.co.uk> wrote:
>Hiya,
>
>OK so I've decided to give the group another go, deleting all religious or
>crossposted posts on sight to help maintain my sanity. Thanks to everyone
>who emailed me after my last leaving posting.
>
>Well I finally plucked up the courage to come out to my dad after lots of
>prodding from on-line friends telling me to just get on with it :)
>
>I waited until he was about to go to bed (after a few false starts) last
>night. I just said 'before you go to bed can I talk to you for a while?' and
>then just said 'I'm gay' skipping the whole conversational bit which I
>always get stuck on.
>
>He took it fantastically well, he said he thought I was, and he's glad I
>finally broke the taboo. And he said I'm still me and it doesn't make any
>difference as long as I'm happy.
Brilliant - I'm really pleased!
>
>So I'm obviously /such/ a queen that my dad knew anyway and just wasn't
>talking about it until I made the first move!
>
>I was on a high for hours afterwards because it was just zero stress, he was
>really great and now I've got nothing to hide. In fact I guess I class as
>openly gay now, which is nice :)
>
>I think I should feel lucky to have such great parents, he's taken it even
>better than my mum did and she only got stressed out because she felt my
>life was going to be hard and the world would be against me. No one's tried
>to change me, suggested it's a choice or a phase or anything!
Mums of the more "Thinking" variety have an unfortunate habit of
thinking that it's "something I did wrong" - e.g. I should have taken
that Barbie away from him and replaced it with an Action Man - EEEK -
you may have ended up a Uniform Queen!!!!
--
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JohnM
<robe...@argonet.co.uk> writes
>He took it fantastically well, he said he thought I was, and he's glad I
>finally broke the taboo. And he said I'm still me and it doesn't make any
>difference as long as I'm happy.
>
>talking about it until I made the first move!
>
>I was on a high for hours afterwards because it was just zero stress, he was
>really great and now I've got nothing to hide. In fact I guess I class as
>openly gay now, which is nice :)
Nice one Robert. And you will see it will bring you closer together.
JohnM
--------------------- Football Comments # 52 ----------------------
"In comparison, there's no comparison." (RON GREENWOOD)
Web site http://www.scroll.demon.co.uk/spaver.htm
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JohnM
<ro...@noc.ulcc.ac.uk> writes
>Maybe next year I'll feel able to do something about a relationship,
>and/or sex ... :(
>
Yeah, one thing at a time, honeybottom, don't rush.
Nick
>
> On Wed, 15 Jul 1998 16:14:13 BST, Robert Titman
> <robe...@argonet.co.uk> wrote:
> >I think I should feel lucky to have such great parents, he's taken it even
> >better than my mum did and she only got stressed out because she felt my
> >life was going to be hard and the world would be against me. No one's tried
> >to change me, suggested it's a choice or a phase or anything!
> Mums of the more "Thinking" variety have an unfortunate habit of
> thinking that it's "something I did wrong" - e.g. I should have taken
> that Barbie away from him and replaced it with an Action Man - EEEK -
> you may have ended up a Uniform Queen!!!!
>
oh no! My mum actually did what she was thinking...
so _that's_ why I prefer uniforms!
Explains everything now... just wait til I tell my mum - she thought she
was making me more butch!
;-)
Nick
Laurence Jupp
: Well I finally plucked up the courage to come out to my dad after lots of
: prodding from on-line friends telling me to just get on with it :)
Many congratulations!
: He took it fantastically well, he said he thought I was, and he's glad I
: finally broke the taboo. And he said I'm still me and it doesn't make any
: difference as long as I'm happy.
Sounds like an ideal response.
: So I'm obviously /such/ a queen that my dad knew anyway and just wasn't
: talking about it until I made the first move!
Your parents are obviously more with-it than mine! I was sure they
must have thought something was wrong (wearing poofy velvet and
the like) but no, complete surprise. Hmmm.
: I was on a high for hours afterwards because it was just zero stress, he was
: really great and now I've got nothing to hide. In fact I guess I class as
: openly gay now, which is nice :)
I know how you feel. Really is fantastic to get it all out in the
open.
--
Laurence
Please remove the "SSSSSS." from my address when replying.
Chris Heathcote
wrote:
>I waited until he was about to go to bed (after a few false starts) last
>night. I just said 'before you go to bed can I talk to you for a while?' and
>then just said 'I'm gay' skipping the whole conversational bit which I
>always get stuck on.
>
>He took it fantastically well, he said he thought I was, and he's glad I
>finally broke the taboo. And he said I'm still me and it doesn't make any
>difference as long as I'm happy.
Congrats!
ttfn
c.
--
chris (a) deaddodo.com http://www.deaddodo.com ICQ:6803574
http://www.undergroundlondon.com/bunny/
|----------------------------------------------------------------------------|
"How can we reach down and tug at the giblets of what is being said?
How can we scare off the baboons of confusion?
Well we can start by listening. But listening deafly."
Terry Perkins
>
>Well I finally plucked up the courage to come out to my dad after lots of
>prodding from on-line friends telling me to just get on with it :)
Well done
>
>I waited until he was about to go to bed (after a few false starts) last
>night. I just said 'before you go to bed can I talk to you for a while?' and
>then just said 'I'm gay' skipping the whole conversational bit which I
>always get stuck on.
>
>He took it fantastically well, he said he thought I was, and he's glad I
>finally broke the taboo. And he said I'm still me and it doesn't make any
>difference as long as I'm happy.
Most of my family thought I was as well.
>
>So I'm obviously /such/ a queen that my dad knew anyway and just wasn't
>talking about it until I made the first move!
Makes two of us at least.
>
Congratulations
Regards
Terry Perkins
http://freespace.virgin.net/terry.perkins
Chris Heathcote
wrote:
>Yeah, one thing at a time, honeybottom, don't rush.
but if you see JohnM sideling up to you, run :-)
L8ent
>>finally broke the taboo. And he said I'm still me and it doesn't make any
>>difference as long as I'm happy.
>>
>>talking about it until I made the first move!
>>
>>really great and now I've got nothing to hide. In fact I guess I class as
>>openly gay now, which is nice :)
>
>
>
>JohnM
L8ent adds his praise to the man undergoing
the "coming out" rite of passage. Coming
out was not so easy for L8ent, however.
Coming from a working-class council
estate, his parents were not so much
homophobic but ignorant. Mummy thought
I was going to start wearing dresses. Father
immediately lecturered me on the dangers
of "dirty old men" in public toilets. Although
I wasn't thrown out on the streets, it took
them a LONG time to get used to it. Although
I'm not _very_ obvious, there were little
problems - I wasn't allowed to turn up at
my mother's work incase her colleagues
saw my black clothes as a sign that I was
gay (look these _were_ the 80s and I was
a teenager). She cried constantly and
tried lots of ways to "redirect" me back
to the straight lifestyle. Eventually she gave
up, told everyone and doesn't care (as much).
I had to go through the same silly rigmarole
with my boyfriend's parents, who he came
out to a few weeks after meeting me. To
them I was the _last_ thing they wanted for
him. Although they are reasonably ok
with it now, my "mother-in-law" still has
never said "hello" to me when she
walks through the front door.
I suspect my experiences are pretty average
on the whole. No huge dramas, but a period
of a couple of years while they get used to
it. Or has anyone had any truly horrific
Brazilian-soap-opera style coming out
experiences they'd like to share here?
L8ent's got his hanky ready and will wipe
those tears away.
L8ent
Paul Barton
: >n article <na.ff17404866....@argonet.co.uk>, Robert Titman
: ><robe...@argonet.co.uk> writes
: >>He took it fantastically well, he said he thought I was, and he's glad I
: >>finally broke the taboo. And he said I'm still me and it doesn't make any
: >>difference as long as I'm happy.
: >>
: >>So I'm obviously /such/ a queen that my dad knew anyway and just wasn't
: >>talking about it until I made the first move!
;)
: >>I was on a high for hours afterwards because it was just zero stress, he was
: >>really great and now I've got nothing to hide. In fact I guess I class as
: >>openly gay now, which is nice :)
: >
: >Nice one Robert. And you will see it will bring you closer together.
: >
Indeed, hope it all pans out for you. Stick around, the bible spam ain't
so bad...
[snip some of l8ents coming out story]
: him. Although they are reasonably ok
: with it now, my "mother-in-law" still has
: never said "hello" to me when she
: walks through the front door.
: I suspect my experiences are pretty average
: on the whole. No huge dramas, but a period
: of a couple of years while they get used to
: it.
It really does seem to me that I may well have had a fairy-tale coming
out type thing. Insomuchas Dad was ok about it and my brother sorted him
out about him thinking 'its just a phase'. A letter he wrote me a couple
of mnths afterwards was very supportive and it was clear that he had gay
friends when he was younger and was glad that things had changed such
that I felt I was able to even tell him. (Btw he had his 60th earlier
this year to get a feel for when he grew up)
Since then, the bf and I went to each others graduations last summer
with nothing overtly spoken but everyone knowing who the new face was.
Then at Xmas we went to each others parents houses for a couple of days
(and were _invited_ by respective parents too) and similarly when my
family trudged down to Somerset for my Dad's 60th, the bf was invited
too. Basically positive reactions from both sides.
PaulB
JohnM
<l8...@aol.com> writes
>
>L8ent
>
Surely tho' after all the coming outs (or is it comings out)
you are not latent any more ?
JohnM
--------------------- Football Comments # 53 ----------------------
"Pires has got something about him, he can go both ways depending on
who's facing him" - DAVID PLEAT (World Cup)
Harlequin
>Hiya,
>OK so I've decided to give the group another go, deleting all religious or
>crossposted posts on sight to help maintain my sanity. Thanks to everyone
>who emailed me after my last leaving posting.
>prodding from on-line friends telling me to just get on with it :)
>night. I just said 'before you go to bed can I talk to you for a while?' and
>then just said 'I'm gay' skipping the whole conversational bit which I
>always get stuck on.
>finally broke the taboo. And he said I'm still me and it doesn't make any
>difference as long as I'm happy.
>I think I should feel lucky to have such great parents, he's taken it even
>better than my mum did and she only got stressed out because she felt my
>life was going to be hard and the world would be against me. No one's tried
>to change me, suggested it's a choice or a phase or anything!
Welcome back!
Beautiful. Well done. :-)))
H.
--
Veni Vidi Castratavi Illegitimos
juppy
wrote:
>OK so I've decided to give the group another go, deleting all religious or
>crossposted posts on sight to help maintain my sanity. Thanks to everyone
>who emailed me after my last leaving posting.
Excellent news - welcome back.
>Well I finally plucked up the courage to come out to my dad after lots of
>prodding from on-line friends telling me to just get on with it :)
Congratulations.
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> S! M-- R-- A--- C--- T--- TV+ Ci MuRIP++W-- Am--- Ac+ B++ V+++
There was quite a lot of Britcodes flying around the ng around the time
you left. :)
--
John Upstone jo...@juppy.cix.co.uk Dial up, Login, Chill out
juppy
>saw my black clothes as a sign that I was
>gay (look these _were_ the 80s and I was
>a teenager).
Shit, that means the whole world must think I'm gay... ;)
And it was my mum who first got me wearing black, too. She said black
jeans's show less dirt from the wheelchair.
>L8ent's got his hanky ready and will wipe
>those tears away.
L8ent keeps switching from first to third person and it's quite
confusing...
pete-d
<hugely snipped happy coming out story>
congratulations - glad it went well :-)
Interesting the National Youth Choir of Wales just had an unofficial
award this week for the person who came out most unexpectedly. Many
of the girls were most upset...
Pete
___
Pete Denton posting from my temporary office in Llanbedr Pont Steffan, not my home in Rhosllanerchrugog or my office in Halifax.
ICQ#6933855
I like to cook with wine - sometimes I even put it in the food!
Niles
~
~Interesting the National Youth Choir of Wales just had an unofficial
~award this week for the person who came out most unexpectedly. Many
~of the girls were most upset...
I missed that...
--
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