Couplez
Paul S
Are you sick of gay newspapers that promote the image of homsexual men
as
promiscious, vain and sex-obsessed? Then B-M?* publications proudly
present
a new type of homosexual newspaper "Couplez".
Every week "Couplez" will contain a whole raft of excting features, such
as:
- a pin-up of couples, in matching jumpers, holding hands and looking
lovingly into each other's eyes
- advice column covering all the problems that couples face. as many of
them
are based around sexual incomapatabilty, we advise that you stop
having sex all together - as that's what most homosexual couples end
up doing
- guide to supermarkets, video rental stores and hamburger restaurants
where all the staff are dead ugly, to stop any possibility of you
or your partner wanting to break your monogamy.
- full listings for Radio 2 and Radio 4. with special features on
Archers'
characters -both alive and squashed. in our first issue, we
feature an exclusive interview with Gloria Hunniford in which
she admits "a homosexual couple moved next door last year and we
were worried that this would result in a drop in house prices in the
area, but they have done wonderful things with their front garden!"
- we won't be covering expensive foreign imported beers - as the
consumption
of alchohol may lead you to having sex with someone other than your
partner. instead, we feature other tasty beverages. in our first
issue we reveal how exciting the new range of Horlicks drinks are.
- you won't find any expensive, revealing items of so-called fashion in
"Couplez" - instead we cover much more interesting, sensible clothing.
in our second issue we feature the attractive new range of slacks
from BHS.
- techno? hardcore? house? - not in "Couplez"! our music column
concentrates
on much more "relationship-friendly" tunes - our first column
covers the lovely new "James Last" album.
- you want to send your loved one a sign of your love, but all the cards
featured in the homosexual press seem to feature naked men? we cover
the new range of "Love is...." greeting cards - you can always
tippex-out the long hair and breasts of the woman on the front of
these cards.
- are you annoyed that all homosexual holiday destinations are basically
based
on having as many different men as possible? our travel page covers
destinations where there are no such temptations. our first issue
covers Skegness, Coventry and the whole of South West England. we
also warn of areas of high promiscuity so that you can avoid them -
for example, the whole of The Netherlands is full of homosexual
sluts.
- each week we feature an in-depth review of an item from IKEA. in our
first issue this is the "Orstorvater" floating candles kit.
- sick and tired of loud pubs that are based upon picking other guys up?
we highlight homosexual-friendly pubs where there is no background
music, plenty of good lighting and only other monogomous couples
present.
- we also provide advice for emergencies. in what you thought was a
non-promiscious homosexual-friendly venue and suddenly you realise
you are in a venue full of sin? - we show how you can perfect
that "stay-away strictly monogomous" holding of hands.
- we also cover new technology. in our third issue we discuss internet
newsgroups and how you can post messages saying how all
lovey-dovey you feel after just having talked to your boyf on the
'phone and thus MAKING ALL THE SINGLE READERS OF THE NEWSGROUPS
FEEL EVEN MORE DEPRESSED AND INADEQUATE.
"Couplez" coming to a homosexual-friendly venue soon from B-M?*
Publications
*Bitter-Moi?
Mike_B
In article <3512E4...@NOSPAM.dircon.co.uk>, Paul S
<pse...@NOSPAM.dircon.co.uk> writes
[article snipped]
Paul, I had to thank you. I couldn't stop laughing for 10 minutes,
absolutley first class!!
Thanks!
--
Mike_B
http://www.blackpool.demon.co.uk/
Iain Bowen
In article <3512E4...@NOSPAM.dircon.co.uk>,
Paul S <pse...@NOSPAM.dircon.co.uk> wrote:
[much hilarity snipped]
Tell me, you have never met someone called Brian Manley?
Iain
--
\/ Iain Bowen is alaric(at)harlech.demon.co.uk. Penguin Inside
"I have measured out my life with coffee spoons"
Dull Web Page: http://www.harlech.demon.co.uk/ PGP Public Key on request
UK-VOTING web pageshave moved to: http://www.cirra.com/ukvoting/
DHughes250
>Are you sick of gay newspapers that promote the image of homsexual men
>as
>promiscious, vain and sex-obsessed? Then B-M?* publications proudly
>present
>a new type of homosexual newspaper "Couplez".
>
snip
>how you can post messages saying how all
> lovey-dovey you feel after just having talked to your boyf on the
> 'phone and thus MAKING ALL THE SINGLE READERS OF THE >NEWSGROUPS
> FEEL EVEN MORE DEPRESSED AND INADEQUATE.
ROTFL - droll, so droll - and inadequate, me?
Dave
_________________
Slips on another recording of
The Archers and sips his Cocoa
_________________
Jacob
>Publications
>
>*Bitter-Moi?
A truely brilliant post, you got me laughing out loud at 1.10am when
everyone else in the house is trying to sleep.
--
Jacob (Old Married Woman)
gor...@pronto.demon.co.uk
I'm snipping nothing of this. Open megaquote:
In article <3512E4...@NOSPAM.dircon.co.uk>, Paul S
<pse...@NOSPAM.dircon.co.uk> writes
>Are you sick of gay newspapers that promote the image of homsexual men
>as
>promiscious, vain and sex-obsessed? Then B-M?* publications proudly
>present
>a new type of homosexual newspaper "Couplez".
>
> newsgroups and how you can post messages saying how all
> lovey-dovey you feel after just having talked to your boyf on the
> 'phone and thus MAKING ALL THE SINGLE READERS OF THE NEWSGROUPS
> FEEL EVEN MORE DEPRESSED AND INADEQUATE.
>
>"Couplez" coming to a homosexual-friendly venue soon from B-M?*
>Publications
>
>*Bitter-Moi?
Maybe. But that doesn't stop you being the funniest read of the week.
--
Gordon
x
x
x
Neil Matthews
In article: <6euuse$co$1...@harlech.demon.co.uk>
> Paul S <pse...@NOSPAM.dircon.co.uk> wrote:
>
> [much hilarity snipped]
Yes, very amusing.
> Tell me, you have never met someone called Brian Manley?
Steady, Iain! Now, are you going to tell the story about moaning during
sex, or shall I? ;-)
BTW, when are you and Lurve-Puppy coming over for dinner?
--
Neil Matthews in Cambridge and Birmingham, UK
ne...@chaos.org.uk or ne...@stuffing.demon.co.uk
http://www.stuffing.demon.co.uk
Paul & Ken
> a new type of homosexual newspaper "Couplez".
Sounds just the thing to leave in a stack on top of the fag machine in my
local. People can thumb through it, spill their beer over it, fold it badly
then put it back on the pile.
Thanks Paul.
Paul.
Lyn David Thomas
In article: <3512E4...@NOSPAM.dircon.co.uk> Paul S
> "Couplez" coming to a homosexual-friendly venue soon from B-M?*
> Publications
>
> *Bitter-Moi?
LOL
--
__
*Lyn David Thomas* \/
Web pages start at
http://www.stuffing.demon.co.uk/lyn
Lyn David Thomas
In article: <6euuse$co$1...@harlech.demon.co.uk>
ala...@harlech.demon.co.uk (Iain Bowen) writes:
>
> In article <3512E4...@NOSPAM.dircon.co.uk>,
> Paul S <pse...@NOSPAM.dircon.co.uk> wrote:
>
> [much hilarity snipped]
>
>
Bastard - I'm gland I'd just put down my tea.
You know that Brian & Kevin have an account? And read here
occasionally :-)
Iain Bowen
In article <233309...@stuffing.demon.co.uk>,
Lyn David Thomas <l...@stuffing.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>In article: <6euuse$co$1...@harlech.demon.co.uk>
>ala...@harlech.demon.co.uk (Iain Bowen) writes:
>>
>> In article <3512E4...@NOSPAM.dircon.co.uk>,
>> Paul S <pse...@NOSPAM.dircon.co.uk> wrote:
>>
>> [much hilarity snipped]
>>
>> Tell me, you have never met someone called Brian Manley?
>>
>> Iain
>
>Bastard - I'm gland I'd just put down my tea.
>
>You know that Brian & Kevin have an account? And read here
>occasionally :-)
Do I look like I care?
Iain "Nasty Bitch" Bowen
Iain Bowen
In article <781207...@chaos.org.uk>,
Neil Matthews <ne...@chaos.org.uk> wrote:
>In article: <6euuse$co$1...@harlech.demon.co.uk>
>ala...@harlech.demon.co.uk (Iain Bowen) writes:
>>
>> In article <3512E4...@NOSPAM.dircon.co.uk>,
>> Paul S <pse...@NOSPAM.dircon.co.uk> wrote:
>>
>> [much hilarity snipped]
>
>
>> Tell me, you have never met someone called Brian Manley?
>
>sex, or shall I? ;-)
Heh, heh.
>BTW, when are you and Lurve-Puppy coming over for dinner?
Eventually, real soon now, honest. Certainly before the quagmire of the great
roll-out starts in June. Mail us with your free weekends.
Iain
Neil
YES!
Thanks Paul, I enjoyed that.
Neil. (Wondering why he ever thought relationships are good!)
Harlequin
On Fri, 20 Mar 1998 21:48:11 +0000, Paul S wrote:
>Are you sick of gay newspapers that promote the image of homsexual men
>as promiscious, vain and sex-obsessed? Then B-M?* publications proudly
...
Hehe...
Yess... thank you so very much...
:-)
H.
Grégoire Kretz
DHughes250 wrote:
> _________________
> Slips on another recording of
> The Archers and sips his Cocoa
> _________________
Is it me or do we have a fixation on chocolate: many people mention
drinking cocoa, and loads of others complain about eating too much
chocolate. I knew it was supposed to be an upper for women, but still...
:o)
Greg
Ree-shar
On Fri, 20 Mar 1998 21:48:11 +0000, Paul S
<snip>
> "Couplez" coming to a homosexual-friendly venue soon from B-M?*
> Publications
ROTFL
As much for it's portrayal of a different aspect of gay behaviour as
for the spoofing!
Nice one, Paul.
Ree-shar
--
If you wanna write to me, use the address formed by putting an @
between "rick" and "coopinf.demon.co.uk". Should be a doddle
if you've ever built anything using Blue Peter instructions ;-)
bad...@void.demon.co.uk
On Sun, 22 Mar 1998 12:38:16 +0100, Grégoire Kretz
<gregoir...@smtp.wanadoo.fr> delighted us by writing this:
I like The Archers too and am thrilled to know it comes in clothing
form. I had heard they have invented the audible teeshirt. Where did
you get it from?
Or did you mean you record the programmes, leave them in a mess all
over the floor and slipped on one?
Vicky
*******
Reality is for people who can't handle fantasy
Mark Ynys-Mon
In article <3512E4...@NOSPAM.dircon.co.uk>,
pse...@NOSPAM.dircon.co.uk (Paul S) spake thus:
<snip>
*snigger*
--
Mark Ynys-Môn
sua cuique deus fit dira cupido
http://www.archdruid.demon.co.uk
opinions are mine not Demon Internet's
Harlequin
On Sun, 22 Mar 1998 12:38:16 +0100, Grégoire Kretz wrote:
>DHughes250 wrote:
>> _________________
>> Slips on another recording of
>> The Archers and sips his Cocoa
>> _________________
>
>Is it me or do we have a fixation on chocolate: many people mention
>drinking cocoa, and loads of others complain about eating too much
>chocolate. I knew it was supposed to be an upper for women, but still...
>:o)
I'm not sure about fixations, but I do love a bit of chocolate when I
can afford it. And I usually have some cocoa before bed (one of my
little luxuries).
H.
DHughes250
In article <890642321.25477.0...@news.demon.co.uk>,
bad...@void.demon.co.uk writes:
>I like The Archers too and am thrilled to know it comes in clothing
>form. I had heard they have invented the audible teeshirt. Where did
>you get it from?
>
>Or did you mean you record the programmes, leave them in a mess all
>over the floor and slipped on one?
>Vicky
>
ROTFL
Ooh, this slipped disc is really painful now. Damn I've just noticed this tee
has tear in it.
Dave
I turn to face an empty space
where you used to lie,
and seek the spark that lights the night
through a teardrop in my eye.