Staffroom poem - version with comments

[Corinne Brooks]

I bought a poetry book today and there are a few I'd like to share - I
suppose some of you will have come across them - but some people won't
have. Here's the first one:

Deep, Dark and Strange and Nasty Secrets in the Staffroom

by Paul Cookson

There are deep, dark, strange and nasty
secrets in the staffroom

(yeah we've all got them)

when the teachers escape at break
from the confines of the classroom
What's behind, what do we find
behind the staffroom door?

There are a thousand cups unfinished
all covered in green mould.
Coffee stains and rings remain
where they have overflowed.

(where's Chris de T)

Piles of files and unmarked books

(NC/ Numeracy and Literacy mainly)

and last term's lost reports,

(think paul was looking for those)

the P.E. teacher's sweaty vest
and Lycra cycling shorts.

(and some knickers)

There are last week's lunch left-overs,
yoghurt pots and crusts,
banana skins and cola tins

(I blame the librarian)

all covered in chalk dust.
Examination papers
from nineteen eighty-six
and the Times Ed job section
that's ten years out of date.

The ashtray's overflowed
and its seeping out the door.
The wind has blown a million sheets
of paper on the floor.

(all those NC folders again)

There's paper planes and brown tea stains
from last night's staff meeting.
This place is a downright disgrace
not fit for a pig to eat in.

(or hippo or hamster)

Inside the fridge, half-finished milk
is lumpy and it's glowing.
The cartons are all starting
to mutate and they are growing.

(the Baron's experiments again)

The crockery mountain in the sink
is coated in green lime
and the room that time forgot
is left to rot in gunge and slime.

(where IS Gertie?)

Beware the beings from this place,
the ones who always say
"No-one leaves the room
until this mess is cleared away!"
But if you said the same to them
one thing is very clear
to get the staffroom spick and span
would take them all year
....or two....or three....or four

There are deep, dark, strange and nasty......etc

--
Angua To reply change ook to uk
http://www.quizlady.freeserve.co.uk http://www.staffroom.freeserve.co.uk

[dawn]

Corinne Brooks writes

>There are deep, dark, strange and nasty
>secrets in the staffroom
>(yeah we've all got them)
>

Speak for yourself!

>
>There are a thousand cups unfinished
>all covered in green mould.

I'm *sure* there was a new life-form growing in the sink the other day.

>The cartons are all starting
>to mutate and they are growing.
>(the Baron's experiments again)

Aha, now I know who to blame.

>(where IS Gertie?)

Our cleaners don't do the sink if there's dirty pots in it.

>
>to get the staffroom spick and span

"Changing Staffrooms" - that's what we want.
Oh, and somebody else to do it.

Cheers for the poems, Corinne
--
dawn, spellchecker wants to change staffroom to stateroom!