new poetry book
Corinne Brooks
I bought a poetry book today and there are a few I'd like to share - I
suppose some of you will have come across them - but some people won't
have. Here's the first one:
Deep, Dark and Strange and Nasty Secrets in the Staffroom
by Paul Cookson
There are deep, dark, strange and nasty
secrets in the staffroom
when the teachers escape at break
from the confines of the classroom
What's behind, what do we find
behind the staffroom door?
There are a thousand cups unfinished
all covered in green mould.
Coffee stains and rings remain
where they have overflowed.
Piles of files and unmarked books
and last term's lost reports,
the P.E. teacher's sweaty vest
and Lycra cycling shorts.
There are last week's lunch left-overs,
yoghurt pots and crusts,
banana skins and cola tins
all covered in chalk dust.
Examination papers
from nineteen eighty-six
and the Times Ed job section
that's ten years out of date.
The ashtray's overflowed
and its seeping out the door.
The wind has blown a million sheets
of paper on the floor.
There's paper planes and brown tea stains
from last night's staff meeting.
This place is a downright disgrace
not fit for a pig to eat in.
Inside the fridge, half-finished milk
is lumpy and it's glowing.
The cartons are all starting
to mutate and they are growing.
The crockery mountain in the sink
is coated in green lime
and the room that time forgot
is left to rot in gunge and slime.
Beware the beings from this place,
the ones who always say
"No-one leaves the room
until this mess is cleared away!"
But if you said the same to them
one thing is very clear
to get the staffroom spick and span
would take them all year
....or two....or three....or four
There are deep, dark, strange and nasty......etc
--
Angua To reply change ook to uk
http://www.quizlady.freeserve.co.uk http://www.staffroom.freeserve.co.uk
Beth
Corinne Brooks wrote in message ...
>
>I bought a poetry book today and there are a few I'd like to share - I
>suppose some of you will have come across them - but some people won't
>have. Here's the first one:
>
>Deep, Dark and Strange and Nasty Secrets in the Staffroom
>
>by Paul Cookson
Wonderful!
Here's a little ditty for National Poetry day (or is it 'week'?)
"Children today are getting crazier -
Maybe the answer's Youthanasia."
Beth
Corinne Brooks
Where do all the teachers go?
by Peter Dixon
Where do all the teachers go
When its 4 o'clock?
Do they live in houses
And do they wash their socks?
Do they wear pyjamas
And do they watch TV?
And do they pick their noses
The same as you and me?
Do they live with other people
Have they mums and dads?
And were they ever children
And were they ever bad?
Did they ever, never spell right
Did they ever make mistakes?
Were they punished in the corner
If they pinched the chocolate flakes?
Did they ever lose their hymn books
Did they ever leave their greens?
Did they scribble on the desk tops
Did they wear old, dirty jeans?
I'll follow one back home today
I'll find out what they do?
Then I'll put it in a poem
That they can read to you.
Corinne Brooks
>Another poem:
Head Teacher Flips Her Lid
by Charles Thomson
Look - there's the Head Teacher!
The one over there!
She's stormed from her office,
she's torn out her hair,
she's punching the door,
she's kicking the wall,
she's doing a head stand
on top of a stool,
she's doing a cart wheel
in front of the class,
her eyes are all bloodshot,
her mouth's full of grass,
she's flinging her arms up,
she's beating her breast,
she's spray-canned the playground
"HEAD TEACHERS ARE BEST",
she's spray-canned the front door,
she's spray-canned the wall
"HEAD TEACHER WOZ 'ERE"
and "HEAD TEACHER IS COOL"
"HEAD TEACHER'S THE BRAINIEST
UNDER THE SUN",
HEAD TEACHER IS GREAT -
SHE'S ACE, NUMBER ONE"
She suddenly turns;
for what can she hear?
A very loud ringing
that's next to her ear.
She jumps when she sees
that she isn't alone:
her secretary's saying
"Oh Head, it's the phone."
She opens her eyes
with a throat-clearing cough:
I think I was dreaming.
I must have dozed off.
John Murphy
> "Children today are getting crazier -
> Maybe the answer's Youthanasia."
Very Oggy Nash. Did you write it <impressed> or nick it <also impressed>
--
John Murphy
Beth
John Murphy wrote in message ...
Nicked it: Malcolm Foster in 'Verse Worse' an ancient tome produced by the
Sunday Times.
Also contains such gems as:
"Would a male pill
Make a vas deferens?" and
"Nostalgia's all right
But it's not how it used to be."
Beth.
tuppence
Beth wrote in message <7tnr2v$3rp$1...@epos.tesco.net>...
>
>John Murphy wrote in message ...
>>I feel so much betterer since Beth writted
>>> "Children today are getting crazier -
>>> Maybe the answer's Youthanasia."
>>
>>Very Oggy Nash. Did you write it <impressed> or nick it <also
impressed>
>
>
>Nicked it: Malcolm Foster in 'Verse Worse' an ancient tome produced
by the
>Sunday Times.
Ooo, I've got that and More Worse Verse too :)
2d
Beth
tuppence wrote in message ...
Good fun, aren't they!
Beth