White spirit won't burn?

[Lieutenant Scott]

I was going to burn down some tree stumps aided by some petrol to get it going. Having a bottle of white spirit to hand I thought I'd use that instead of going to the garage to get petrol. It won't light!!!!

This is the exact product, and it says flammable on the side. But it bloody well isn't.

http://www.bartoline.co.uk/products_View.aspx?Articleid=23&Group=Solvent%20Range

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

[newshound]

On 30/04/2012 15:44, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
> I was going to burn down some tree stumps aided by some petrol to get it
> going. Having a bottle of white spirit to hand I thought I'd use that
> instead of going to the garage to get petrol. It won't light!!!!
>
> This is the exact product, and it says flammable on the side. But it
> bloody well isn't.
>
> http://www.bartoline.co.uk/products_View.aspx?Articleid=23&Group=Solvent%20Range
>
>

Yes it will. Flash point for standard white spirit is around 31 - 54 C
(Wikipedia) so you can't light a pool of it, but it will burn on a wick,
like paraffin.

[Steve Firth]

"Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote:
> I was going to burn down some tree stumps aided by some petrol to get it going.

Excellent idea, remember to use as much petrol as possible.

[Nospam]

and remember to put the video on YouTube in case it merits submission to
the Darwin awards

[Jethro_uk]

On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 15:44:47 +0100, Lieutenant Scott wrote:

> I was going to burn down some tree stumps aided by some petrol to get it
> going. Having a bottle of white spirit to hand I thought I'd use that
> instead of going to the garage to get petrol. It won't light!!!!
>
> This is the exact product, and it says flammable on the side. But it
> bloody well isn't.
>
> http://www.bartoline.co.uk/products_View.aspx?Articleid=23&Group=Solvent
%20Range

as someone who has BTDTGTT I suggest you get a decent ax, pick, and
shovel, expose the roots around the stump, and chop it out.

[newshound]

Agreed; although you can also use one of those "chainsaw" disks in an
angle grinder!

A Mattock is also a useful supplement to your list.

[Dave Liquorice]

On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 15:46:37 +0000 (UTC), Steve Firth wrote:

>> I was going to burn down some tree stumps aided by some petrol to
get
>> it going.
>
> Excellent idea, remember to use as much petrol as possible.

And leave it to soak in for few minutes before attempting to light it
with a lighter.

--
Cheers
Dave.

[Jim K]

erm you mean arrange your will to include whoever finds your remains to
post said video on youpube?

Jim K

[Lieutenant Scott]

On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 15:44:47 +0100, Lieutenant Scott <n...@spam.com> wrote:

> I was going to burn down some tree stumps aided by some petrol to get it going. Having a bottle of white spirit to hand I thought I'd use that instead of going to the garage to get petrol. It won't light!!!!
>
> This is the exact product, and it says flammable on the side. But it bloody well isn't.
>
> http://www.bartoline.co.uk/products_View.aspx?Articleid=23&Group=Solvent%20Range

Sorted.

I bought a jerry can of petrol and tried burning them, but they kept going out. So I took the easy option.

To my neighbour's horror, I reversed the car into the back garden, tied the tree stumps to the towbar, and yanked them out of the ground. She was particularly concerned that my car (or flying tree stump) was aiming directly for her kitchen window. She took the dog for a walk while I did it :-)

--
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http://petersphotos.com

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
So I bought her a set of scales.
And then the fight started...

[Lieutenant Scott]

I placed a lit cigarette lighter above it, and even into it, but it did not light.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Joey's teacher sent a note home to his Mother saying, "Joey seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about sex and girls."
The Mother wrote back the next day, "If you find a solution, please advise. I have the same problem with his Father."

[Lieutenant Scott]

I did manage to set fire to a jug of petrol I was holding while soaking the stump next to the one that was burning, that would have looked funny on video.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

When eating a tongue sandwich, how do you know when you've finished?

[Lieutenant Scott]

I have a pick and shovel but it was taking ages - there were 10 of them.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

How do you titillate an ocelot?
Oscillate its titalot.

[Lieutenant Scott]

Unfortunately my angle grinder is the small kind, it can't cut deep enough through a big stump.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

[harry]

On Apr 30, 8:00 pm, "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote:

> On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 16:43:51 +0100, newshound <newsho...@fairadsl.co.uk> wrote:
> > On 30/04/2012 15:44, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
> >> I was going to burn down some tree stumps aided by some petrol to get it
> >> going. Having a bottle of white spirit to hand I thought I'd use that
> >> instead of going to the garage to get petrol. It won't light!!!!
>
> >> This is the exact product, and it says flammable on the side. But it
> >> bloody well isn't.
>

> >>http://www.bartoline.co.uk/products_View.aspx?Articleid=23&Group=Solv...

>
> > Yes it will. Flash point for standard white spirit is around 31 - 54 C
> > (Wikipedia) so you can't light a pool of it, but it will burn on a wick,
> > like paraffin.
>
> I placed a lit cigarette lighter above it, and even into it, but it did not light.

You ARE a halfwit. Only the vapour will burn. No vapour, no fire.
Simples.

[harry]

On Apr 30, 8:01 pm, "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote:

> On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 18:06:09 +0100, Jim K <jk989...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 16:56:39 +0100, Nospam <Nom...@hursley.ibm.com> wrote:
>
> >> On 30/04/2012 16:46, Steve Firth wrote:
> >>> "Lieutenant Scott"<n...@spam.com>  wrote:
> >>>> I was going to burn down some tree stumps aided by some petrol to get
> >>>> it going.
>
> >>> Excellent idea, remember to use as much petrol as possible.
>
> >> and remember to put the video on YouTube in case it merits submission to
> >> the Darwin awards
>
> > erm you mean arrange your will to include whoever finds your remains to
> > post said video on youpube?
>
> I did manage to set fire to a jug of petrol I was holding while soaking the stump next to the one that was burning, that would have looked funny on video.

A bit like that silly cow that was decanting petrol in her kitchen a
couple of weeks back eh?

[Lieutenant Scott]

Read again...... I placed a lit cigarette lighter ABOVE it.

--
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The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. -- Calvin Trillin

[dennis@home]

"Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
news:op.wdlgmza0ytk5n5@i7-940...

> Read again...... I placed a lit cigarette lighter ABOVE it.

Put it under it and it will *warm up* and burn.

[John Williamson]

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
> On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 20:39:33 +0100, harry <harol...@aol.com> wrote:
>
>> On Apr 30, 8:00 pm, "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote:
>>> On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 16:43:51 +0100, newshound
>>> <newsho...@fairadsl.co.uk> wrote:
>>> > On 30/04/2012 15:44, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>>> >> I was going to burn down some tree stumps aided by some petrol to
>>> get it
>>> >> going. Having a bottle of white spirit to hand I thought I'd use that
>>> >> instead of going to the garage to get petrol. It won't light!!!!
>>>
>>> >> This is the exact product, and it says flammable on the side. But it
>>> >> bloody well isn't.
>>>
>>> >>http://www.bartoline.co.uk/products_View.aspx?Articleid=23&Group=Solv...
>>>
>>>
>>> > Yes it will. Flash point for standard white spirit is around 31 - 54 C
>>> > (Wikipedia) so you can't light a pool of it, but it will burn on a
>>> wick,
>>> > like paraffin.
>>>
>>> I placed a lit cigarette lighter above it, and even into it, but it
>>> did not light.
>>
>>
>> You ARE a halfwit. Only the vapour will burn. No vapour, no fire.
>> Simples.
>
> Read again...... I placed a lit cigarette lighter ABOVE it.
>

Until it gets to its flash point there is no vapour to burn. For white
spirit, the easiest way to get enough of it above its flash point so
that combustion can start is to use a wick. It's like diesel, you can
extinguish a burning cigarette in a pool of it of you're not too slow,
but it burns very well indeed using a wick or some other way of
vapourising a small amount.

--
Tciao for Now!

John.

[Lieutenant Scott]

It would appear petrol vapour travels quite far. Surprising really that petrol stations don't go up in flames all the time.

A good reason to use diesel cars!!

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

The average lifespan of electronic devices is between zero and infinity, or 2 days after the warranty runs out, whichever comes first.

[newshound]

On 30/04/2012 20:03, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
> On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 17:24:43 +0100, newshound <news...@fairadsl.co.uk>
> wrote:
>
>> On 30/04/2012 17:11, Jethro_uk wrote:
>>> On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 15:44:47 +0100, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>>>
>>>> I was going to burn down some tree stumps aided by some petrol to
>>>> get it
>>>> going. Having a bottle of white spirit to hand I thought I'd use that
>>>> instead of going to the garage to get petrol. It won't light!!!!
>>>>
>>>> This is the exact product, and it says flammable on the side. But it
>>>> bloody well isn't.
>>>>
>>>> http://www.bartoline.co.uk/products_View.aspx?Articleid=23&Group=Solvent
>>>>
>>> %20Range
>>>
>>> as someone who has BTDTGTT I suggest you get a decent ax, pick, and
>>> shovel, expose the roots around the stump, and chop it out.
>>
>> Agreed; although you can also use one of those "chainsaw" disks in an
>> angle grinder!
>
> Unfortunately my angle grinder is the small kind, it can't cut deep
> enough through a big stump.
>

A stump grinder is rather like what I was proposing. You attack it from
one side and carry on until you are through to the other, having reduced
it all to chips. As others have said, usually the best approach is to
dig all the way round and sever the roots below ground level before
pulling it out. But you can't always do that, and this is where the
stump grinder comes in.

It was half a joke, actually, given that some of us like to use them to
solve all problems.

[newshound]

On 30/04/2012 19:58, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
> On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 15:44:47 +0100, Lieutenant Scott <n...@spam.com> wrote:
>
>> I was going to burn down some tree stumps aided by some petrol to get
>> it going. Having a bottle of white spirit to hand I thought I'd use
>> that instead of going to the garage to get petrol. It won't light!!!!
>>
>> This is the exact product, and it says flammable on the side. But it
>> bloody well isn't.
>>
>> http://www.bartoline.co.uk/products_View.aspx?Articleid=23&Group=Solvent%20Range
>>
>
>
> Sorted.
>
> I bought a jerry can of petrol and tried burning them, but they kept
> going out. So I took the easy option.
>
> To my neighbour's horror, I reversed the car into the back garden, tied
> the tree stumps to the towbar, and yanked them out of the ground. She
> was particularly concerned that my car (or flying tree stump) was aiming
> directly for her kitchen window. She took the dog for a walk while I did
> it :-)
>

Glad it's sorted. Can't have been much of a tree stump in that case,
though (unless it was very rotten below ground). When it's the other way
round, a small tree can stop a surprisingly fast or heavy vehicle.

[Lieutenant Scott]

I suppose, but why do we need the flammable warning on that and not paper (which is considerably easier to light)?

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

You know you've spent too much time on the computer when you spill milk and the first thing you think is, 'Edit, Undo.'

[Lieutenant Scott]

Isn't the flash point the temperature required to ignite the vapour? Which is presumably different to the temperature to evaporate it.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Illegal is a big sick bird.

[Lieutenant Scott]

It's a 1.9 turbo diesel, and I took a good run at it. Snapped a tow rope and a chain before getting all 10 out. Automatic gearbox helps too.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

I was on a Southwest flight once that was delayed at the gate after everyone boarded. The flight attendant said over the intercom, "We're sorry for the delay. The machine that normally rips the handles off your luggage is broken, so we're having to do it by hand. We should be finished and on our way shortly."

[dennis@home]

"Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message

news:op.wdlhwxojytk5n5@i7-940...

> On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 21:06:58 +0100, dennis@home
> <den...@killspam.kicks-ass.net> wrote:
>
>>
>>
>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>> news:op.wdlgmza0ytk5n5@i7-940...
>>
>>
>>> Read again...... I placed a lit cigarette lighter ABOVE it.
>>
>> Put it under it and it will *warm up* and burn.
>
> I suppose, but why do we need the flammable warning on that and not paper
> (which is considerably easier to light)?

Have you tried holding a lighter above a piece of paper, its damn hard to
get it to burn.

[dennis@home]

"Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message

news:op.wdlhyhcaytk5n5@i7-940...

> Isn't the flash point the temperature required to ignite the vapour?
> Which is presumably different to the temperature to evaporate it.

No that is a common misunderstanding.
Its the temperature at which an explosive vapour will form.
You still need an ignition source.
There are chemicals which will spontaneously combust near the flash point.

[John Williamson]

Wikilies shows its properties on this page:-

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_spirit

The vapour pressure at 20C is very low, so there will be no vapour cloud
to ignite. Liquid hydrocarbons don't burn, it's the vapour that burns
and can be ignited at flash point temperature.

[Lieutenant Scott]

On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 21:45:23 +0100, dennis@home <den...@killspam.kicks-ass.net> wrote:

>
>
> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
> news:op.wdlhwxojytk5n5@i7-940...
>> On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 21:06:58 +0100, dennis@home
>> <den...@killspam.kicks-ass.net> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>>
>>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>>> news:op.wdlgmza0ytk5n5@i7-940...
>>>
>>>
>>>> Read again...... I placed a lit cigarette lighter ABOVE it.
>>>
>>> Put it under it and it will *warm up* and burn.
>>
>> I suppose, but why do we need the flammable warning on that and not paper
>> (which is considerably easier to light)?
>
> Have you tried holding a lighter above a piece of paper, its damn hard to
> get it to burn.

But touch the flame on the paper for an instant and it ignites. Didn't happen with the white spirit.

Meths lights easily, I assumed white spirit was similar.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

"Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts."

[Lieutenant Scott]

Oh. According to Wikipedia, what I am thinking of is actually called "autoignition temperature".

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

An Ohio teen has pleaded innocent to stealing his mother's credit card to pay for a friend's breast enlargement surgery.
Police say it's lucky they caught the guy quickly; otherwise, it may have turned into a bigger bust.

[Lieutenant Scott]

The temperature of the room was probably 15C.

What's the three temperatures they quote?: Low flash, regular, and high flash.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

My penis is 12 inches long, but I don't use it as a rule.

[Pete Shew]

BTDTGTTS many times. DON'T use a chainsaw, ever! Do be patient and dig
around the roots with a trowel. A bowsaw is a good tool as is a
reciprocating saw with a suitable blade for tricky bits. Have an axe or
two and a 5' metal lever bar too. Even big ones only take a few hours of
patience. I don't imagine they can be burnt out except by building a big
bonfire and leaving it burning overnight.

Alternatively take the Baster Bates approach and blow the bu**ers up :-)

--
Pete
Lose (rhymes with fuse) is a verb, the opposite of find. Loose (rhymes
with juice) is an adjective, the opposite of tight.

[Davey]

Remind me not to buy a car from you.
--
Davey.

[gri...@gmail.com]

On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 19:58:37 +0100, "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com>
wrote:

>To my neighbour's horror, I reversed the car into the back garden, tied the tree stumps to the towbar, and yanked them out of the ground.

Fuck's sake.

[harry]

On Apr 30, 9:23 pm, newshound <newsho...@fairadsl.co.uk> wrote:
> On 30/04/2012 20:03, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>
>
>

> > On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 17:24:43 +0100, newshound <newsho...@fairadsl.co.uk>

> solve all problems.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Before that, one should cut trees off four or five feet above ground
level to give some leverage to get the stump out.

[harry]

On Apr 30, 9:47 pm, "dennis@home" <den...@killspam.kicks-ass.net>
wrote:

Burning paper is "destructive distillation". A breakdown process has
to be initiated before flammable vapour is given off.

[harry]

On Apr 30, 9:44 pm, "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote:

> On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 21:27:02 +0100, newshound <newsho...@fairadsl.co.uk> wrote:
> > On 30/04/2012 19:58, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
> >> On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 15:44:47 +0100, Lieutenant Scott <n...@spam.com> wrote:
>
> >>> I was going to burn down some tree stumps aided by some petrol to get
> >>> it going. Having a bottle of white spirit to hand I thought I'd use
> >>> that instead of going to the garage to get petrol. It won't light!!!!
>
> >>> This is the exact product, and it says flammable on the side. But it
> >>> bloody well isn't.
>

> >>>http://www.bartoline.co.uk/products_View.aspx?Articleid=23&Group=Solv...

>
> >> Sorted.
>
> >> I bought a jerry can of petrol and tried burning them, but they kept
> >> going out. So I took the easy option.
>
> >> To my neighbour's horror, I reversed the car into the back garden, tied
> >> the tree stumps to the towbar, and yanked them out of the ground. She
> >> was particularly concerned that my car (or flying tree stump) was aiming
> >> directly for her kitchen window. She took the dog for a walk while I did
> >> it :-)
>
> > Glad it's sorted. Can't have been much of a tree stump in that case,
> > though (unless it was very rotten below ground). When it's the other way
> > round, a small tree can stop a surprisingly fast or heavy vehicle.
>
> It's a 1.9 turbo diesel, and I took a good run at it.  Snapped a tow rope and a chain before getting all 10 out.  Automatic gearbox helps too.

You're lucky you didn't break something.

[Lieutenant Scott]

6 inches was enough when using a VW Golf 1.9TDI automatic.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

I imposed a declaration in opposition to your motion to modify the preliminary injunction in support of the cross motion to vacate the preliminary injunction. So noted by the Federal Court of Justice proceeding preliminary declaration.

[Lieutenant Scott]

Like what?

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight.
The operator asks "How many people are flying with you?"
Paddy replies "I don't know! It’s your flipping plane!"

[Lieutenant Scott]

It worked. And considerably faster than doing it by hand.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Why do I have to wear a shirt and tie to go in a bar to see a topless dancer?

[Lieutenant Scott]

HOURS of patience?!?!?!? No way. They came up pretty quick with the car towing them out.

> Alternatively take the Baster Bates approach and blow the bu**ers up :-)

I was considering it.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

[Lieutenant Scott]

You seem to be under the mistaken idea that a car can't pull something that hard. Think how tough a towbar and attachments has to be to pull a caravan safely.

--
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http://petersphotos.com

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

[John Williamson]

Not all that strong, as you're pulling a rolling load at either moderate
acceleration or at a steady speed. Back of envelope says a maximum of
half a ton total, summing the horizontal and vertical components.

A steady pull of that magnitude is fine. Pulling out a tree stump is a
shock load which is well in excess of what the towbar and its fixings
are designed to take. I'll try it with a Land Rover with a good chassis,
but I'll use a kinetic energy recovery rope to do it. The clue here is
that you managed to snap a towrope and a chain, which says that the peak
loads were way above the design limits of the car and towbar. Luckily, I
live somewhere your car will never be sold.

[Davey]

On Tue, 01 May 2012 18:29:08 +0100

There is a big difference between towing something at a reasonable
speed, and jerking something that doesn't want to move. Overzealous
letting out of a clutch has been known to twist half-shafts and strip
teeth from gears.
--
Davey.

[brass monkey]

"Davey" <da...@example.invalid> wrote in message
news:jnp9cl$s2e$1...@n102.xanadu-bbs.net...

I actually ripped the splines from a half-shaft in errrr ~65 but nah, that
couldn't happen to the loot, rodders would shirley agree.
I wouldn't mind'em trolling if they made it funny FFS although I actually
believe the loot is as dumbass as his posts.

[Lieutenant Scott]

You've obviously never seen me drive, I don't do "reasonable speed" unless there's a pandacar about.

> and jerking something that doesn't want to move. Overzealous
> letting out of a clutch has been known to twist half-shafts and strip
> teeth from gears.

It's an automatic, it doesn't overzealously engage.

And I popped the clutch out as fast as the springs would go on my Maestro hundreds of times (to cause wheelspins) and that never damaged it. Mind you Rovers were overengineered.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Why is the front of an aeroplane called a cockpit?
If you have female pilots do you call it a pussypit?

[Lieutenant Scott]

Grow up.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

There once was a time when all people believed in god and the church ruled. This time was called the Dark Ages. -- Richard Lederer

[Lieutenant Scott]

What about when you put your foot to the floor while towing? You've still got the full power of the engine pulling on the towbar. I suppose I was adding momentum of the car too though, but then again there will be some safety margins I can make use of.

> A steady pull of that magnitude is fine. Pulling out a tree stump is a
> shock load which is well in excess of what the towbar and its fixings
> are designed to take. I'll try it with a Land Rover with a good chassis,
> but I'll use a kinetic energy recovery rope to do it. The clue here is
> that you managed to snap a towrope and a chain, which says that the peak
> loads were way above the design limits of the car and towbar.

No, it says they were above the design limits of the chain, which is a lot thinner than the towbar and fixings.

> Luckily, I live somewhere your car will never be sold.

Are you sure? I sold a Honda CRV to a guy in London.

Anyway I don't usually sell cars - the Honda sale was because I changed from two cars to one when I realised the Golf was reliable enough to only have one. I see no point in getting rid of something which is still functional. If it cannot be repaired or made to go through an MOT at a reasonable cost, it is dismantled for parts and scrap metal.

--
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"The Ten Commandments contain 297 words.
The Bill of Rights is stated in 463 words.
Lincoln's Gettysburg Address contains 266 words.
A recent federal directive to regulate the price of cabbage contains 26,911 words." -- Atlanta Journal

[Rod Speed]

"Davey" <da...@example.invalid> wrote in message
news:jnp9cl$s2e$1...@n102.xanadu-bbs.net...

It doesn't have a clutch, its an automatic.

[Lieutenant Scott]

Manual gearboxes should have been disposed of years ago.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

The reason your job died unexpectedly is because we lost coolant to the firewall and the ether in the net blew up.

[Rod Speed]

Lieutenant Scott <n...@spam.com> wrote

> Rod Speed <rod.sp...@gmail.com> wrote
>> Davey <da...@example.invalid> wrote

>>> Lieutenant Scott <n...@spam.com> wrote
>>>> Davey <da...@example.invalid> wrote
>>>>> Lieutenant Scott <n...@spam.com> wrote
>>>>>> newshound <news...@fairadsl.co.uk> wrote
>>>>>>> Lieutenant Scott wrote

They were, and we made new ones to replace the ones we disposed of.

[Lieutenant Scott]

On Wed, 02 May 2012 00:11:13 +0100, Rod Speed <rod.sp...@gmail.com> wrote:

> Lieutenant Scott <n...@spam.com> wrote
>> Rod Speed <rod.sp...@gmail.com> wrote
>>> Davey <da...@example.invalid> wrote
>>>> Lieutenant Scott <n...@spam.com> wrote
>>>>> Davey <da...@example.invalid> wrote

>

That almost made me laugh, but not quite.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Seen on a tap in a Finnish washroom:
To stop the drip, turn cock to right.

[jgharston]

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
> > It doesn't have a clutch, its an automatic.
> Manual gearboxes should have been disposed of years ago.

I couldn't get my semi-automatic out of the snow until I put
it into manual.

JGH

[Rod Speed]

"Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message

news:op.wdnkpab2ytk5n5@i7-940...

None of the stone around here laughed either.

I don't expect to lose much sleep over that either.

[Jules Richardson]

On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 19:58:37 +0100, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
> Sorted.
>
> I bought a jerry can of petrol and tried burning them, but they kept
> going out. So I took the easy option.
>
> To my neighbour's horror, I reversed the car into the back garden, tied
> the tree stumps to the towbar, and yanked them out of the ground.

What was wrong with using explosives?

[Rod Speed]

Jules Richardson <jules.richa...@gmail.com> wrote

The invididual using them in that case.

[John Williamson]

Work out the torque at the driving wheels, which will let you work out
the acceleration, then compare that with the force required to
decelerate the mass of the car at about ten times that accleration. For
most cars, maximum acceleration is well under 1G, while the deceleration
when you're snatching a stump is at least 5G. The safety margins are on
the order of 100%, not 500%.

>> A steady pull of that magnitude is fine. Pulling out a tree stump is a
>> shock load which is well in excess of what the towbar and its fixings
>> are designed to take. I'll try it with a Land Rover with a good chassis,
>> but I'll use a kinetic energy recovery rope to do it. The clue here is
>> that you managed to snap a towrope and a chain, which says that the peak
>> loads were way above the design limits of the car and towbar.
>
> No, it says they were above the design limits of the chain, which is a
> lot thinner than the towbar and fixings.
>

Then you must be driving a tank. The towbars on most cars are fastened
to metal which is less than 1mm thick. Even my Land Rover has a chassis
which is less than 3mm thick at the point of attachment, and that's
reinforced for kinetic energy recovery, which is a posh name for doing
to bogged down vehicles what you were doing to trees.

>> Luckily, I live somewhere your car will never be sold.
>
> Are you sure? I sold a Honda CRV to a guy in London.
>

Still safe. I left London a decade ago. London's also big enough that
you can always find a fool who'll buy anything you want to sell. ;-)

[John Williamson]

Huge wrote:

> On 2012-05-01, John Williamson <johnwil...@btinternet.com> wrote:
>
>> A steady pull of that magnitude is fine. Pulling out a tree stump is a
>> shock load which is well in excess of what the towbar and its fixings
>> are designed to take. I'll try it with a Land Rover with a good chassis,
>> but I'll use a kinetic energy recovery rope to do it.
>

> Don't.
>
> The tree stump snaps off, the kinetic recovery rope contracts and flings
> the stump at the car and does several hundred pounds worth of damage to
> it.
>
> Don't ask me how I know.
>
<Chuckle> I can guess, but the worst that could happen to mine is that
I'd need a replacement rear door, which is about sixty quid from the
local breaker, and takes ten minutes to fit. The last rear tub I had
fitted cost a couple of hundred and took half a day to fit.

[Lieutenant Scott]

Well the tow bar is still on the car.

>>> A steady pull of that magnitude is fine. Pulling out a tree stump is a
>>> shock load which is well in excess of what the towbar and its fixings
>>> are designed to take. I'll try it with a Land Rover with a good chassis,
>>> but I'll use a kinetic energy recovery rope to do it. The clue here is
>>> that you managed to snap a towrope and a chain, which says that the peak
>>> loads were way above the design limits of the car and towbar.
>>
>> No, it says they were above the design limits of the chain, which is a
>> lot thinner than the towbar and fixings.
>>
> Then you must be driving a tank. The towbars on most cars are fastened
> to metal which is less than 1mm thick. Even my Land Rover has a chassis
> which is less than 3mm thick at the point of attachment, and that's
> reinforced for kinetic energy recovery, which is a posh name for doing
> to bogged down vehicles what you were doing to trees.

I'm thinking of the steel tubes which run from the towbar itself to the chassis, they're pretty thick.

I can't believe those are fastened to metal 1mm thick, that would bend with the weight of the towbar, and definitely if you for example stood on the towbar, which simply doesn't happen.

>>> Luckily, I live somewhere your car will never be sold.
>>
>> Are you sure? I sold a Honda CRV to a guy in London.
>>
> Still safe. I left London a decade ago. London's also big enough that
> you can always find a fool who'll buy anything you want to sell. ;-)

It had LPG conversion. Don't. Petrol engines were not designed to use LPG, and shouldn't be made to do so.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?"
Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

[John Williamson]

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>
> Well the tow bar is still on the car.
>

<Shrug> So you got away with it this time. You've still stressed the
structure well beyond its design limits, and this may cause problems later.

> I'm thinking of the steel tubes which run from the towbar itself to the
> chassis, they're pretty thick.
>

They're fastened to 1mm thick metal, which is why most towbar
installation kits come with load spreading plates or are designed to
attach to specified load bearing points on the car. If they're tubes,
then the walls will be 2 or 3mm thick, generally. If you're lucky, it'll
be drawn tube, otherwise it'll be flat plate rolled into a cylinder and
the edges butt welded.

> I can't believe those are fastened to metal 1mm thick, that would bend
> with the weight of the towbar, and definitely if you for example stood
> on the towbar, which simply doesn't happen.
>

It's not a flat sheet, it's shaped for strength, often into a box
section, and if you don't believe me, go and have a close look at your
car's structure somewhere like a scrapyard, where all the bits are
visible. The bits where the bolts go through the bodywork are often
doubled or have captive nuts welded to the inside, so may look thicker
than 1mm, but the doubling is only for a few square centimetres.

I've worked on many cars over the last 40 years or so, and I've yet to
see any metal thicker than 1/16" anywhere on the bodywork or chassis on
a normal saloon or estate without a seperate chassis. I've seen some
1/8" thick metal on a Land Rover chassis, but even lorry chassis are
only made of 3 or 4 mm plate, formed to shape for strength.

>>>> Luckily, I live somewhere your car will never be sold.
>>>
>>> Are you sure? I sold a Honda CRV to a guy in London.
>>>
>> Still safe. I left London a decade ago. London's also big enough that
>> you can always find a fool who'll buy anything you want to sell. ;-)
>
> It had LPG conversion. Don't. Petrol engines were not designed to use
> LPG, and shouldn't be made to do so.
>

LPG conversions of petrol engines that can run on unleaded petrol are
not uncommon, and are usually as reliable as the same engines run on
petrol. Ask your local taxi firms if you want confirmation. If you're
referring to the 30 to 50% increase in fuel consumption, that is
inevitable due to the lower available energy per litre of LPG compared
to petrol. They're still cheaper to run than petrol engines, though, as
LPG is cheaper than petrol. They're not quite as cheap as diesel to run,
but they're often cheaper to buy and convert.

[Lieutenant Scott]

Getting hold of the explosives.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

There are more men than women in mental hospitals - which just goes to show who's driving who crazy.

[Lieutenant Scott]

So all those "shaped for strength" things make it strong enough. As evidenced by me getting 10 stumps out without losing a towbar.

>>>>> Luckily, I live somewhere your car will never be sold.
>>>>
>>>> Are you sure? I sold a Honda CRV to a guy in London.
>>>>
>>> Still safe. I left London a decade ago. London's also big enough that
>>> you can always find a fool who'll buy anything you want to sell. ;-)
>>
>> It had LPG conversion. Don't. Petrol engines were not designed to use
>> LPG, and shouldn't be made to do so.
>>
> LPG conversions of petrol engines that can run on unleaded petrol are
> not uncommon, and are usually as reliable as the same engines run on
> petrol. Ask your local taxi firms if you want confirmation. If you're
> referring to the 30 to 50% increase in fuel consumption, that is
> inevitable due to the lower available energy per litre of LPG compared
> to petrol. They're still cheaper to run than petrol engines, though, as
> LPG is cheaper than petrol. They're not quite as cheap as diesel to run,
> but they're often cheaper to buy and convert.

The problem I had was the higher burning temperature of LPG wore out the valve seats (or something like that). The fitter warned me about it and said it would be ok if I used "Valve Saver" fluid. But the mechanism that fed the stuff in wasn't too reliable, so I think that may have worn the engine out. The engine eventually sounded like it was running on 3 cylinders. A Range Rover I bought already converted also sounded the same (it sounded like it was firing on 6 out of the 8 cylinders), and eventually wouldn't start at all.

--
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http://petersphotos.com

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does it wonder why you're sitting there staring at carpeting?

[Rod Speed]

"Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message

news:op.wdoz0r10ytk5n5@i7-940...

Works fine for all the taxis in my town for decades now
and quite a few other cars too.

[Rod Speed]

"Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message

news:op.wdo3etk2ytk5n5@i7-940...

Doesn't happen with our taxis.

[Lieutenant Scott]

According to my LPG fitter, certain Honda engines have "softer valve seats" (where the word "seats" could have been something else).

It was a 1999 Honda CRV 2 litre petrol.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right?
Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

[Rod Speed]

"Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message

news:op.wdo5zaggytk5n5@i7-940...

So your original should have said 'Some Honda engines', not 'Petrol engines'

[John Williamson]

I find that a little odd.

All engines capable of using unleaded petrol should be able to use LPG
without any problems. All Honda engines made after 1985 are compatible
with unleaded. Soft valve seats are normally only found on vehicles
which use the lead in the petrol as a lubricant for the unhardened
valves and seats. Replacing the valve seats is often done when the
cylinder head is off for other reasons.

[Lieutenant Scott]

On Wed, 02 May 2012 21:17:58 +0100, Rod Speed <rod.sp...@gmail.com> wrote:

>
>
> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
> news:op.wdo5zaggytk5n5@i7-940...
>> On Wed, 02 May 2012 20:45:48 +0100, Rod Speed <rod.sp...@gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>>
>>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>>> news:op.wdoz0r10ytk5n5@i7-940...
>>>> On Wed, 02 May 2012 08:21:07 +0100, John Williamson
>>>> <johnwil...@btinternet.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> Lieutenant Scott wrote:

>>
>>>>
>>

>>>>> Work out the torque at the driving wheels, which will let you work out
>>>>> the acceleration, then compare that with the force required to
>>>>> decelerate the mass of the car at about ten times that accleration. For
>>>>> most cars, maximum acceleration is well under 1G, while the
>>>>> deceleration
>>>>> when you're snatching a stump is at least 5G. The safety margins are on
>>>>> the order of 100%, not 500%.
>>>>
>>>> Well the tow bar is still on the car.
>>>>

>>>>> Then you must be driving a tank. The towbars on most cars are fastened
>>>>> to metal which is less than 1mm thick. Even my Land Rover has a chassis
>>>>> which is less than 3mm thick at the point of attachment, and that's
>>>>> reinforced for kinetic energy recovery, which is a posh name for doing
>>>>> to bogged down vehicles what you were doing to trees.
>>>>
>>>> I'm thinking of the steel tubes which run from the towbar itself to the
>>>> chassis, they're pretty thick.
>>>>
>>>> I can't believe those are fastened to metal 1mm thick, that would bend
>>>> with the weight of the towbar, and definitely if you for example stood
>>>> on
>>>> the towbar, which simply doesn't happen.
>>>>

>>>>> Still safe. I left London a decade ago. London's also big enough that
>>>>> you can always find a fool who'll buy anything you want to sell. ;-)
>>>
>>>> It had LPG conversion. Don't. Petrol engines were not designed to use
>>>> LPG, and shouldn't be made to do so.
>>>
>>> Works fine for all the taxis in my town for decades now
>>> and quite a few other cars too.
>
>> According to my LPG fitter, certain Honda engines have "softer valve
>> seats" (where the word "seats" could have been something else).
>
>> It was a 1999 Honda CRV 2 litre petrol.
>
> So your original should have said 'Some Honda engines', not 'Petrol engines'

I saw it happen to my Range Rover, and I've heard people have similar problems with several other makes.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Although I can accept talking scarecrows, lions and great wizards of emerald cities, I find it hard to believe there is no paperwork involved when your house lands on a witch.
-- Dave James

[Lieutenant Scott]

On Wed, 02 May 2012 21:30:17 +0100, John Williamson <johnwil...@btinternet.com> wrote:

> Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>> On Wed, 02 May 2012 20:45:48 +0100, Rod Speed <rod.sp...@gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>>
>>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>>> news:op.wdoz0r10ytk5n5@i7-940...
>>>> On Wed, 02 May 2012 08:21:07 +0100, John Williamson
>>>> <johnwil...@btinternet.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> Lieutenant Scott wrote:

>>
>>>>
>>

>>>>> Work out the torque at the driving wheels, which will let you work out
>>>>> the acceleration, then compare that with the force required to
>>>>> decelerate the mass of the car at about ten times that accleration. For
>>>>> most cars, maximum acceleration is well under 1G, while the
>>>>> deceleration
>>>>> when you're snatching a stump is at least 5G. The safety margins are on
>>>>> the order of 100%, not 500%.
>>>>
>>>> Well the tow bar is still on the car.
>>>>

>>>>> Then you must be driving a tank. The towbars on most cars are fastened
>>>>> to metal which is less than 1mm thick. Even my Land Rover has a chassis
>>>>> which is less than 3mm thick at the point of attachment, and that's
>>>>> reinforced for kinetic energy recovery, which is a posh name for doing
>>>>> to bogged down vehicles what you were doing to trees.
>>>>
>>>> I'm thinking of the steel tubes which run from the towbar itself to the
>>>> chassis, they're pretty thick.
>>>>
>>>> I can't believe those are fastened to metal 1mm thick, that would bend
>>>> with the weight of the towbar, and definitely if you for example
>>>> stood on
>>>> the towbar, which simply doesn't happen.
>>>>

>>>>> Still safe. I left London a decade ago. London's also big enough that
>>>>> you can always find a fool who'll buy anything you want to sell. ;-)
>>>
>>>> It had LPG conversion. Don't. Petrol engines were not designed to use
>>>> LPG, and shouldn't be made to do so.
>>>
>>> Works fine for all the taxis in my town for decades now
>>> and quite a few other cars too.
>>
>> According to my LPG fitter, certain Honda engines have "softer valve
>> seats" (where the word "seats" could have been something else).
>>
>> It was a 1999 Honda CRV 2 litre petrol.
>>
> I find that a little odd.
>
> All engines capable of using unleaded petrol should be able to use LPG
> without any problems. All Honda engines made after 1985 are compatible
> with unleaded. Soft valve seats are normally only found on vehicles
> which use the lead in the petrol as a lubricant for the unhardened
> valves and seats. Replacing the valve seats is often done when the
> cylinder head is off for other reasons.

I was told it was due to the higher burning temperature of the LPG. In fact the first fitter I asked refused to do it at all.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

A mistake is evidence that someone has tried to do something.

[John Williamson]

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
> I was told it was due to the higher burning temperature of the LPG. In
> fact the first fitter I asked refused to do it at all.
>

<Gives up>

[Lieutenant Scott]

I've never driven a "semi-automatic", but I've found my automatic Golf to be very good in the snow. It is less likely to wheelspin as it controls the power evenly.

I did once get stuck in some deep snow, but by rocking it back and forth I broke free. Rocking is much easier in an automatic, as you can select forward/reverse very rapidly.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

The only differences between lawyers and prostitutes are that prostitutes are generally better looking and more honest about how they make a living.

[Lieutenant Scott]

>>>>> Still safe. I left London a decade ago. London's also big enough that
>>>>> you can always find a fool who'll buy anything you want to sell. ;-)
>>>>
>>>> It had LPG conversion. Don't. Petrol engines were not designed to use
>>>> LPG, and shouldn't be made to do so.
>>>>
>>> LPG conversions of petrol engines that can run on unleaded petrol are
>>> not uncommon, and are usually as reliable as the same engines run on
>>> petrol. Ask your local taxi firms if you want confirmation. If you're
>>> referring to the 30 to 50% increase in fuel consumption, that is
>>> inevitable due to the lower available energy per litre of LPG compared
>>> to petrol. They're still cheaper to run than petrol engines, though, as
>>> LPG is cheaper than petrol. They're not quite as cheap as diesel to run,
>>> but they're often cheaper to buy and convert.
>
>> The problem I had was the higher burning temperature of LPG wore out the
>> valve seats (or something like that). The fitter warned me about it and
>> said it would be ok if I used "Valve Saver" fluid. But the mechanism that
>> fed the stuff in wasn't too reliable, so I think that may have worn the
>> engine out. The engine eventually sounded like it was running on 3
>> cylinders. A Range Rover I bought already converted also sounded the same
>> (it sounded like it was firing on 6 out of the 8 cylinders), and
>> eventually wouldn't start at all.
>
> Doesn't happen with our taxis.

What make and model are they?

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm fucking bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was fucking bored, not fucking stupid!"

[Lieutenant Scott]

On Wed, 02 May 2012 22:02:21 +0100, John Williamson <johnwil...@btinternet.com> wrote:

> Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>> I was told it was due to the higher burning temperature of the LPG. In
>> fact the first fitter I asked refused to do it at all.
>>
> <Gives up>

Well I don't know the real reason for the engine failure, I'm just telling you what they told me.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Yesterday scientists in the USA revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.

[brass monkey]

"Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message

news:op.wdo28jlvytk5n5@i7-940...

> On Wed, 02 May 2012 02:06:07 +0100, Jules Richardson
> <jules.richa...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 19:58:37 +0100, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>>> Sorted.
>>>
>>> I bought a jerry can of petrol and tried burning them, but they kept
>>> going out. So I took the easy option.
>>>
>>> To my neighbour's horror, I reversed the car into the back garden, tied
>>> the tree stumps to the towbar, and yanked them out of the ground.
>>
>> What was wrong with using explosives?
>
> Getting hold of the explosives.

Hey, that's your funniest line, keep it up.

[Lieutenant Scott]

What was funny about it?

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

I got invited to a Muslim party the other night.
It was the fastest game of pass the parcel I've even seen!

[brass monkey]

"Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message

news:op.wdpablilytk5n5@i7-940...

> On Wed, 02 May 2012 22:32:38 +0100, brass monkey <a...@b.com> wrote:
>
>>
>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>> news:op.wdo28jlvytk5n5@i7-940...
>>> On Wed, 02 May 2012 02:06:07 +0100, Jules Richardson
>>> <jules.richa...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>> On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 19:58:37 +0100, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>>>>> Sorted.
>>>>>
>>>>> I bought a jerry can of petrol and tried burning them, but they kept
>>>>> going out. So I took the easy option.
>>>>>
>>>>> To my neighbour's horror, I reversed the car into the back garden,
>>>>> tied
>>>>> the tree stumps to the towbar, and yanked them out of the ground.
>>>>
>>>> What was wrong with using explosives?
>>>
>>> Getting hold of the explosives.
>>
>> Hey, that's your funniest line, keep it up.
>
> What was funny about it?

Never mind.

[Rod Speed]

"Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message

news:op.wdo8mxrwytk5n5@i7-940...

All of our taxis have been using it for decades fine.

Mate of mine who is now dead did too, in a Jap wagon.

[Rod Speed]

"Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message

news:op.wdo8ojpuytk5n5@i7-940...

But presumably he doesn't refuse to do it to all cars,
so its likely that just that car wasn't suited to it.

[Rod Speed]

"Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message

news:op.wdo87lz7ytk5n5@i7-940...

Mostly Ford Falcons and close.

[Lieutenant Scott]

On Wed, 02 May 2012 22:40:45 +0100, brass monkey <a...@b.com> wrote:

>
> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
> news:op.wdpablilytk5n5@i7-940...
>> On Wed, 02 May 2012 22:32:38 +0100, brass monkey <a...@b.com> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>>> news:op.wdo28jlvytk5n5@i7-940...
>>>> On Wed, 02 May 2012 02:06:07 +0100, Jules Richardson
>>>> <jules.richa...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 19:58:37 +0100, Lieutenant Scott wrote:

>>>>>
>>>>> What was wrong with using explosives?
>>>>
>>>> Getting hold of the explosives.
>>>
>>> Hey, that's your funniest line, keep it up.
>>
>> What was funny about it?
>
> Never mind.

I shall continue to assume you don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

What is the difference between a 69 and driving in the fog?
When driving in the fog, you can't see the asshole in front of you.

[brass monkey]

"Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message

news:op.wdpcrn18ytk5n5@i7-940...

> On Wed, 02 May 2012 22:40:45 +0100, brass monkey <a...@b.com> wrote:
>
>>
>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>> news:op.wdpablilytk5n5@i7-940...
>>> On Wed, 02 May 2012 22:32:38 +0100, brass monkey <a...@b.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>>
>>>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>>>> news:op.wdo28jlvytk5n5@i7-940...
>>>>> On Wed, 02 May 2012 02:06:07 +0100, Jules Richardson
>>>>> <jules.richa...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> On Mon, 30 Apr 2012 19:58:37 +0100, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> What was wrong with using explosives?
>>>>>
>>>>> Getting hold of the explosives.
>>>>
>>>> Hey, that's your funniest line, keep it up.
>>>
>>> What was funny about it?
>>
>> Never mind.
>
> I shall continue to assume you don't know what the fuck you're talking
> about.

I'm sure we'll all do the same.
Hey, hows about dragging the plonker into uk.rec.driving i'm sure you could
learn a lot about trolling.

[Lieutenant Scott]

On Wed, 02 May 2012 23:36:53 +0100, brass monkey <a...@b.com> wrote:

>
> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
> news:op.wdpcrn18ytk5n5@i7-940...
>> On Wed, 02 May 2012 22:40:45 +0100, brass monkey <a...@b.com> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>>> news:op.wdpablilytk5n5@i7-940...
>>>> On Wed, 02 May 2012 22:32:38 +0100, brass monkey <a...@b.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>>>>> news:op.wdo28jlvytk5n5@i7-940...

>>

>>>>>

>>>>> Hey, that's your funniest line, keep it up.
>>>>
>>>> What was funny about it?
>>>
>>> Never mind.
>>
>> I shall continue to assume you don't know what the fuck you're talking
>> about.
>
> I'm sure we'll all do the same.

You'll assume you don't know what you're talking about? Ah well at least you admit it. Next step, seek help.

> Hey, hows about dragging the plonker into uk.rec.driving i'm sure you could
> learn a lot about trolling.

"The plonker"?

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

What do you call it when a blonde drives down the street with her head out the window?
Refueling.

[brass monkey]

"Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message

news:op.wdpdzv17ytk5n5@i7-940...

> On Wed, 02 May 2012 23:36:53 +0100, brass monkey <a...@b.com> wrote:
>
>>
>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>> news:op.wdpcrn18ytk5n5@i7-940...
>>> On Wed, 02 May 2012 22:40:45 +0100, brass monkey <a...@b.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>>
>>>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>>>> news:op.wdpablilytk5n5@i7-940...
>>>>> On Wed, 02 May 2012 22:32:38 +0100, brass monkey <a...@b.com> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>>>>>> news:op.wdo28jlvytk5n5@i7-940...
>
>>>
>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Hey, that's your funniest line, keep it up.
>>>>>
>>>>> What was funny about it?
>>>>
>>>> Never mind.
>>>
>>> I shall continue to assume you don't know what the fuck you're talking
>>> about.
>>
>> I'm sure we'll all do the same.
>
> You'll assume you don't know what you're talking about? Ah well at least
> you admit it. Next step, seek help.
>
>> Hey, hows about dragging the plonker into uk.rec.driving i'm sure you
>> could
>> learn a lot about trolling.
>
> "The plonker"?

You know, of course you do, rodney the plonker.
Y'see, you only ask stupid questions (make stupid comments). Plonker
provides stupid answers, far funnier.
You could learn a lot, hey, maybe get another degree. You might then make a
few quid for when your VW dies in the kerb.

[Lieutenant Scott]

On Thu, 03 May 2012 00:19:08 +0100, brass monkey <a...@b.com> wrote:

>
> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
> news:op.wdpdzv17ytk5n5@i7-940...
>> On Wed, 02 May 2012 23:36:53 +0100, brass monkey <a...@b.com> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>>> news:op.wdpcrn18ytk5n5@i7-940...
>>>> On Wed, 02 May 2012 22:40:45 +0100, brass monkey <a...@b.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>>>>> news:op.wdpablilytk5n5@i7-940...

>>
>>>>
>>

>>>>>

>>>>> Never mind.
>>>>
>>>> I shall continue to assume you don't know what the fuck you're talking
>>>> about.
>>>
>>> I'm sure we'll all do the same.
>>
>> You'll assume you don't know what you're talking about? Ah well at least
>> you admit it. Next step, seek help.
>>
>>> Hey, hows about dragging the plonker into uk.rec.driving i'm sure you
>>> could
>>> learn a lot about trolling.
>>
>> "The plonker"?
>
> You know, of course you do, rodney the plonker.
> Y'see, you only ask stupid questions (make stupid comments). Plonker
> provides stupid answers, far funnier.
> You could learn a lot, hey, maybe get another degree. You might then make a
> few quid for when your VW dies in the kerb.

My VW is 14 years old. I'd say it was pretty reliable.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

To truly love another, you must first love yourself. And it wouldn't kill you to wash your hands in between either.

[brass monkey]

"Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message

news:op.wdpfxnc9ytk5n5@i7-940...

While you're "at it", why not go to the optician, you have selective vision,
could be nasty. You can't be too careful with these things. You ask plonker,
he'll tell'ya. I'll bet he's been blind on numerous occasions.

[Lieutenant Scott]

On Thu, 03 May 2012 00:52:27 +0100, brass monkey <a...@b.com> wrote:

>
> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
> news:op.wdpfxnc9ytk5n5@i7-940...
>> On Thu, 03 May 2012 00:19:08 +0100, brass monkey <a...@b.com> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>>> news:op.wdpdzv17ytk5n5@i7-940...
>>>> On Wed, 02 May 2012 23:36:53 +0100, brass monkey <a...@b.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>>>>> news:op.wdpcrn18ytk5n5@i7-940...

>>
>>>>

>>>>
>>

>>>>>

>>>>> I'm sure we'll all do the same.
>>>>
>>>> You'll assume you don't know what you're talking about? Ah well at
>>>> least
>>>> you admit it. Next step, seek help.
>>>>
>>>>> Hey, hows about dragging the plonker into uk.rec.driving i'm sure you
>>>>> could
>>>>> learn a lot about trolling.
>>>>
>>>> "The plonker"?
>>>
>>> You know, of course you do, rodney the plonker.
>>> Y'see, you only ask stupid questions (make stupid comments). Plonker
>>> provides stupid answers, far funnier.
>>> You could learn a lot, hey, maybe get another degree. You might then make
>>> a
>>> few quid for when your VW dies in the kerb.
>>
>> My VW is 14 years old. I'd say it was pretty reliable.
>
> While you're "at it", why not go to the optician, you have selective vision,
> could be nasty. You can't be too careful with these things. You ask plonker,
> he'll tell'ya. I'll bet he's been blind on numerous occasions.

How could impaired vision cause me to think a broken car is working?

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Very funny, Scotty... Now beam down my clothes!

[brass monkey]

"Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message

news:op.wdrazrluytk5n5@i7-940...

From a lad with your limited intelligence it sounds quite reasonable.
36 eh???????? hmmmmm.

[Lieutenant Scott]

On Fri, 04 May 2012 01:17:52 +0100, brass monkey <a...@b.com> wrote:

>
> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
> news:op.wdrazrluytk5n5@i7-940...
>> On Thu, 03 May 2012 00:52:27 +0100, brass monkey <a...@b.com> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>>> news:op.wdpfxnc9ytk5n5@i7-940...
>>>> On Thu, 03 May 2012 00:19:08 +0100, brass monkey <a...@b.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>>>>> news:op.wdpdzv17ytk5n5@i7-940...

>>
>>>>

>>

>>>>
>>

>>>>>

>>>>> You know, of course you do, rodney the plonker.
>>>>> Y'see, you only ask stupid questions (make stupid comments). Plonker
>>>>> provides stupid answers, far funnier.
>>>>> You could learn a lot, hey, maybe get another degree. You might then
>>>>> make
>>>>> a
>>>>> few quid for when your VW dies in the kerb.
>>>>
>>>> My VW is 14 years old. I'd say it was pretty reliable.
>>>
>>> While you're "at it", why not go to the optician, you have selective
>>> vision,
>>> could be nasty. You can't be too careful with these things. You ask
>>> plonker,
>>> he'll tell'ya. I'll bet he's been blind on numerous occasions.
>>
>> How could impaired vision cause me to think a broken car is working?
> From a lad with your limited intelligence it sounds quite reasonable.

The car moves when I press the accelerator. That's all I need to know.

> 36 eh???????? hmmmmm.

Grow up.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you pick up anything with that?

[The Other Mike]

On Wed, 02 May 2012 22:02:21 +0100, John Williamson
<johnwil...@btinternet.com> wrote:

>Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>> I was told it was due to the higher burning temperature of the LPG. In
>> fact the first fitter I asked refused to do it at all.
>>
><Gives up>

Like Drivel and Dennis the only reason he isn't killfiled is for
amusement purposes only.

--

[Lieutenant Scott]

Silly child.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

A blonde is walking down a creek. While she's looking around she notices Judi walking along the other side of the creek. She yells to the other blonde. "Hey, how do I get to the other side?"
Judi replies, "You are on the other side!"

[Lieutenant Scott]

On Wed, 02 May 2012 22:42:11 +0100, Rod Speed <rod.sp...@gmail.com> wrote:

>
>
> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
> news:op.wdo8mxrwytk5n5@i7-940...
>> On Wed, 02 May 2012 21:17:58 +0100, Rod Speed <rod.sp...@gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>>
>>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>>> news:op.wdo5zaggytk5n5@i7-940...
>>>> On Wed, 02 May 2012 20:45:48 +0100, Rod Speed <rod.sp...@gmail.com>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>>>>> news:op.wdoz0r10ytk5n5@i7-940...

>>
>>>>

>>>>
>>

>>

>>

>>>>>

>>>>>

>>>>> Works fine for all the taxis in my town for decades now
>>>>> and quite a few other cars too.
>>>
>>>> According to my LPG fitter, certain Honda engines have "softer valve
>>>> seats" (where the word "seats" could have been something else).
>>>
>>>> It was a 1999 Honda CRV 2 litre petrol.
>>>
>>> So your original should have said 'Some Honda engines', not 'Petrol
>>> engines'
>>
>> I saw it happen to my Range Rover, and I've heard people have similar
>> problems with several other makes.
>
> All of our taxis have been using it for decades fine.
>
> Mate of mine who is now dead did too, in a Jap wagon.

Every third time I started the Range Rover, there would be a very loud explosion. LPG burns a little too easily.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Do not adjust your mind - the fault is with reality.

[Lieutenant Scott]

On Wed, 02 May 2012 22:44:36 +0100, Rod Speed <rod.sp...@gmail.com> wrote:

>
>
> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
> news:op.wdo8ojpuytk5n5@i7-940...
>> On Wed, 02 May 2012 21:30:17 +0100, John Williamson
>> <johnwil...@btinternet.com> wrote:
>>
>>> Lieutenant Scott wrote:
>>>> On Wed, 02 May 2012 20:45:48 +0100, Rod Speed <rod.sp...@gmail.com>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>>>>> news:op.wdoz0r10ytk5n5@i7-940...

>>
>>>>

>>>>
>>

>>

>>

>>>>>

>>>>>

>>>>> Works fine for all the taxis in my town for decades now
>>>>> and quite a few other cars too.
>>>>
>>>> According to my LPG fitter, certain Honda engines have "softer valve
>>>> seats" (where the word "seats" could have been something else).
>>>>
>>>> It was a 1999 Honda CRV 2 litre petrol.
>>>>
>>> I find that a little odd.
>>>
>>> All engines capable of using unleaded petrol should be able to use LPG
>>> without any problems. All Honda engines made after 1985 are compatible
>>> with unleaded. Soft valve seats are normally only found on vehicles
>>> which use the lead in the petrol as a lubricant for the unhardened
>>> valves and seats. Replacing the valve seats is often done when the
>>> cylinder head is off for other reasons.
>
>> I was told it was due to the higher burning temperature of the LPG. In
>> fact the first fitter I asked refused to do it at all.
>
> But presumably he doesn't refuse to do it to all cars,
> so its likely that just that car wasn't suited to it.

Strange that model was completely different?

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

[Lieutenant Scott]

On Wed, 02 May 2012 22:51:14 +0100, Rod Speed <rod.sp...@gmail.com> wrote:

>
>
> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
> news:op.wdo87lz7ytk5n5@i7-940...
>> On Wed, 02 May 2012 21:01:54 +0100, Rod Speed <rod.sp...@gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>>
>>> "Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message
>>> news:op.wdo3etk2ytk5n5@i7-940...
>>>> On Wed, 02 May 2012 19:29:46 +0100, John Williamson
>>>> <johnwil...@btinternet.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> Lieutenant Scott wrote:

>>>>> <Shrug> So you got away with it this time. You've still stressed the
>>>>> structure well beyond its design limits, and this may cause problems
>>>>> later.

>>>>> They're fastened to 1mm thick metal, which is why most towbar
>>>>> installation kits come with load spreading plates or are designed to
>>>>> attach to specified load bearing points on the car. If they're tubes,
>>>>> then the walls will be 2 or 3mm thick, generally. If you're lucky,
>>>>> it'll
>>>>> be drawn tube, otherwise it'll be flat plate rolled into a cylinder and
>>>>> the edges butt welded.
>>>>>

>>>>> It's not a flat sheet, it's shaped for strength, often into a box
>>>>> section, and if you don't believe me, go and have a close look at your
>>>>> car's structure somewhere like a scrapyard, where all the bits are
>>>>> visible. The bits where the bolts go through the bodywork are often
>>>>> doubled or have captive nuts welded to the inside, so may look thicker
>>>>> than 1mm, but the doubling is only for a few square centimetres.
>>>>>
>>>>> I've worked on many cars over the last 40 years or so, and I've yet to
>>>>> see any metal thicker than 1/16" anywhere on the bodywork or chassis on
>>>>> a normal saloon or estate without a seperate chassis. I've seen some
>>>>> 1/8" thick metal on a Land Rover chassis, but even lorry chassis are
>>>>> only made of 3 or 4 mm plate, formed to shape for strength.
>>>>
>>>> So all those "shaped for strength" things make it strong enough. As
>>>> evidenced by me getting 10 stumps out without losing a towbar.
>>>>
>>

>>>>> LPG conversions of petrol engines that can run on unleaded petrol are
>>>>> not uncommon, and are usually as reliable as the same engines run on
>>>>> petrol. Ask your local taxi firms if you want confirmation. If you're
>>>>> referring to the 30 to 50% increase in fuel consumption, that is
>>>>> inevitable due to the lower available energy per litre of LPG compared
>>>>> to petrol. They're still cheaper to run than petrol engines, though, as
>>>>> LPG is cheaper than petrol. They're not quite as cheap as diesel to
>>>>> run,
>>>>> but they're often cheaper to buy and convert.
>>>
>>>> The problem I had was the higher burning temperature of LPG wore out the
>>>> valve seats (or something like that). The fitter warned me about it and
>>>> said it would be ok if I used "Valve Saver" fluid. But the mechanism
>>>> that
>>>> fed the stuff in wasn't too reliable, so I think that may have worn the
>>>> engine out. The engine eventually sounded like it was running on 3
>>>> cylinders. A Range Rover I bought already converted also sounded the
>>>> same
>>>> (it sounded like it was firing on 6 out of the 8 cylinders), and
>>>> eventually wouldn't start at all.
>>>
>>> Doesn't happen with our taxis.
>
>> What make and model are they?
>
> Mostly Ford Falcons and close.

Don't get those over here.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica , 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

[Rod Speed]

Lieutenant Scott <n...@spam.com> wrote

> Rod Speed <rod.sp...@gmail.com> wrote
>> Lieutenant Scott <n...@spam.com> wrote
>>> Rod Speed <rod.sp...@gmail.com> wrote
>>>> Lieutenant Scott <n...@spam.com> wrote
>>>>> Rod Speed <rod.sp...@gmail.com> wrote
>>>>>> Lieutenant Scott <n...@spam.com> wrote

>>>>>> Works fine for all the taxis in my town for decades now and quite a
>>>>>> few other cars too.

>>>>> According to my LPG fitter, certain Honda engines have "softer valve
>>>>> seats" (where the word "seats" could have been something else).

>>>>> It was a 1999 Honda CRV 2 litre petrol.

>>>> So your original should have said 'Some Honda engines', not 'Petrol
>>>> engines'

>>> I saw it happen to my Range Rover, and I've heard people have similar
>>> problems with several other makes.

>> All of our taxis have been using it for decades fine.

>> Mate of mine who is now dead did too, in a Jap wagon.

> Every third time I started the Range Rover, there would be a very loud
> explosion.

Must be a completely fucked installation.

None of the taxis do anything like that and that mate's wagon didn't either.

The only thing that distinguishes the taxis from petrol cars
and wagons is the tank in the boot with some of them.

> LPG burns a little too easily.

Fantasy.

[Rod Speed]

Lieutenant Scott <n...@spam.com> wrote

> Rod Speed <rod.sp...@gmail.com> wrote
>> Lieutenant Scott <n...@spam.com> wrote

>>> John Williamson<johnwil...@btinternet.com> wrote
>>>> Lieutenant Scott wrote

>>>>> Rod Speed <rod.sp...@gmail.com> wrote
>>>>>> Lieutenant Scott <n...@spam.com> wrote

>>>>>> Works fine for all the taxis in my town for decades now
>>>>>> and quite a few other cars too.
>>>>>
>>>>> According to my LPG fitter, certain Honda engines have "softer valve
>>>>> seats" (where the word "seats" could have been something else).
>>>>>
>>>>> It was a 1999 Honda CRV 2 litre petrol.
>>>>>
>>>> I find that a little odd.
>>>>
>>>> All engines capable of using unleaded petrol should be able to use LPG
>>>> without any problems. All Honda engines made after 1985 are compatible
>>>> with unleaded. Soft valve seats are normally only found on vehicles
>>>> which use the lead in the petrol as a lubricant for the unhardened
>>>> valves and seats. Replacing the valve seats is often done when the
>>>> cylinder head is off for other reasons.
>>
>>> I was told it was due to the higher burning temperature of the LPG. In
>>> fact the first fitter I asked refused to do it at all.
>>
>> But presumably he doesn't refuse to do it to all cars,
>> so its likely that just that car wasn't suited to it.

> Strange that model was completely different?

There are a few engines that don't like unleaded petrol but fuck all now.

[Rod Speed]

"Lieutenant Scott" <n...@spam.com> wrote in message

news:op.wdsusth3ytk5n5@i7-940...

You do actually engine wise, just a different name.

[Andy Champ]

On 05/05/2012 00:06, Rod Speed wrote:
>
>> LPG burns a little too easily.
>
> Fantasy.

Just been in Mallorca. A lot of the underground garages their prohibit
LPG - I guess they've realised the problems of a leak causing a garage
full of pooled gas, which is a lot worse than a puddle of petrol.

Andy

[Rod Speed]

Andy Champ <no....@nospam.invalid> wrote

> Rod Speed wrote

>>> LPG burns a little too easily.

>> Fantasy.

> Just been in Mallorca. A lot of the underground garages their prohibit
> LPG

None of ours do.

> - I guess they've realised the problems of a leak causing a garage full of
> pooled gas, which is a lot worse than a puddle of petrol.

Or they have noticed that their standards for LPG power cars are pathetic.

[Lieutenant Scott]

On Sat, 05 May 2012 00:06:30 +0100, Rod Speed <rod.sp...@gmail.com> wrote:

> Lieutenant Scott <n...@spam.com> wrote
>> Rod Speed <rod.sp...@gmail.com> wrote
>>> Lieutenant Scott <n...@spam.com> wrote
>>>> Rod Speed <rod.sp...@gmail.com> wrote
>>>>> Lieutenant Scott <n...@spam.com> wrote

>

>

>

>

>>>>> So your original should have said 'Some Honda engines', not 'Petrol
>>>>> engines'
>
>>>> I saw it happen to my Range Rover, and I've heard people have similar
>>>> problems with several other makes.
>
>>> All of our taxis have been using it for decades fine.
>
>>> Mate of mine who is now dead did too, in a Jap wagon.
>
>> Every third time I started the Range Rover, there would be a very loud
>> explosion.
>
> Must be a completely fucked installation.
>
> None of the taxis do anything like that and that mate's wagon didn't either.
>
> The only thing that distinguishes the taxis from petrol cars
> and wagons is the tank in the boot with some of them.
>
>> LPG burns a little too easily.
>
> Fantasy.

It's a gas.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

After three years of marriage, Kim was still questioning her husband about his lurid past.
"C'mon, tell me," she asked for the thousandth time, "How many women have you slept with?"
"Baby, " he protested, "if I told you, you'd throw a fit." Kim promised she wouldn't get angry, and convinced her hubby to tell her.
"Okay," he said, then started to count on his fingers "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven - then there's you - nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen . . . "