Awards Ceremony Anyone
FCS
the same way, does anyone want to nominate newsgroup participants or news
stories for any particular awards?
How about:
The BBC lunchtime news for reporting that the cause of the outbreak was
"swill intended for use in Chinese restaurants"? Some time ago of course.
Maria, the famous animal rights activist, for proposing animal abuse to
solve the crisis and giving them the right to vote?
Kelly and Sandy for the most frequent cross poster?
Any nominations for me gratefully accepted.
Winners to be decided democratically, the prize being a holiday at a nudist
camp of their choice at their expense.
John
Peter Duncanson
Peter Duncanson
wrote:
>With the imminent demise of this newsgroup, if only foot and mouth would go
>the same way, does anyone want to nominate newsgroup participants or news
>stories for any particular awards?
>
<snip>
>Any nominations for me gratefully accepted.
>
>Winners to be decided democratically, the prize being a holiday at a nudist
>camp of their choice at their expense.
There has so far been a deafening silence. Perhaps readers are
stunned by the magnificence of the prize. :-)
I hereby nominated you, John, for the post "Maria's Final
Solution?" in which you described the logical consequences of
government enforced vegetarianism.
So that's one vote from me, and many million proxy votes on
behalf of farm animals. (The veggie agenda appears to raise the
status of animals to the same as that of humans, so they should
not be denied a vote.)
On Thu, 29 Mar 2001 19:23:39 +0100, "FCS" <joh...@my-deja.com>
wrote:
>Regardless of whether or not the Government imposes vegetarianism on us, in
>order for everyone to comply with Maria's wishes here's what Maria would
>have to do.
>
>Since there would be no livestock to farm there would be no reason to look
>after them. Let them run wild would be Maria's wish. Well, except for pigs,
>they are viscious animals and can make quite a meal of a child, so we'd have
>to make them extinct.
>
>Farmers would have to change to arable farming, so laws would have to be
>introduced allowing farmers to shoot the odd stray lamb, cow, goat, etc. to
>prevent them from grazing on their land.
>
>Obviously safeguards would have to be introduced to ensure that errant wild
>animals don't end up in the pot. Forcibly removing peoples teeth might meet
>with her approval. Since we each get two sets of teeth, we'd have to do this
>twice. Once in childhood, once in adulthood.
>
>The only people who'd consider it worthwhile providing these newly freed
>animals with any sort of care would be those involved in the tourist trade,
>since their customers do not want to see sick and diseased animals wandering
>our green and pleasant land. We could impose a tourist tax to meet the costs
>involved in treatment? Would that or diseased animals wandering the
>countryside deter tourism? Not in Maria's new world order.
>
>Does she advocate the occasional cull to reduce the animal population or
>forced sterilisation? I've read about women complainign about unnecessary
>hysterectomies, but in Maria's World would all animals be equal?
>
>How about no animals? Slaughter the bloody lot of them? In Maria's World
>there is no need for them. Solves the tourist problem, however animals which
>currently maintain the landscape naturally would no longer be there. Perhaps
>Maria's solution would be to employ all those made unemployed by her
>policies to roam the countryside maintaining it. This might be popular with
>the tourist industry. "Come to the UK and watch people work where animals
>once did" could be their advertising slogan. Hey! She may even have found a
>way of curing unemployment.
>
>It may even stop tourists shouting "mint sauce" as they pass a field full of
>sheep.
>
>Perhaps she would like them to sing some good old fashioned Negro work songs
>for the tourists whilst they are doing it?
>
>If she now believes there are sound ecological reasons for farming animals
>this still leaves foot and mouth. All she has to do is this:
>
>1) Find a Government that is friendly to her cause.
>
>Perhaps I should stop writing here, but I'll carry on.
>
>2) Get them to sell her an island capable of supporting sheep, pigs, cows,
>goats, etc. which is far enough away from any mainland so as to prevent the
>spread of an infection.
>
>3) Deliberately infect these animals with foot and mouth and monitor the
>effect of the disease and how it is spread, periodically dissecting the
>animals for a thorough medical study.
>
>Publish her paper.
>
>4) After removing all traces of foot and mouth from the island, restock,
>deliberately infect them again, and this time research treatments for the
>condition. Ascertain whether or not those animals cured would be able to
>survive on their own after treatment. Calculate the costs for those
>treatments.
>
>Publish her paper.
>
>5) After removing all traces of foot and mouth from the island, restock, and
>vaccinate half of them. See if the disease transmits itself from those
>vaccinated to those that haven't. Ascertain all risks associated with
>vaccination, costs of vaccination vs the costs of no vaccinations and the
>occasional outbreak of foot and mouth. What would be the effect of some
>animals being missed in the vaccination process?
>
>Ascertain the risk of people believing the vaccination is the mind control
>drug, compare with fluoride in the water studies. (Everybody get their
>injections today?)
>
>Ascertain the risk of consumers rebelling against vaccination in the same
>way they have over genetically modified crops.
>
>Publish her paper.
>
>6) Ask her friendly Government if they'll provide her with an army to
>protect you from animal rights fanatics who object to the animal testing
>required. Perhaps I should have included this after point 1, however, should
>she decide to undertake this study, she might forget this point, so it
>remains at the end.
>
>Until she's at least started on this she should tell her hippy friends and
>countryside walkers to stay away from farms as they can spread the disease.
>She could always tell them to walk around arable farm areas. Unfortunately
>the EU has encouraged those farmers to grow rape, which stinks up the
>countryside and causes respiratory problems, but surely they can put up with
>that?
>
>Personally, I'd make everyone use lard and let the Americans pollute their
>own environment with rape, but that's me. I see they are being criticised
>over their industrial methods again.
>
>An issue closer to home for her, perhaps, would be irradiated vegetables
>slipping into the foodchain and false labelling concerning irradiated food.
>I don't want it in my food.
>
>If any of you must tackle foot and mouth legislation a better time to tackle
>it would be after an outbreak or before one. Doing it now is more likely to
>prolong the outbreak and animal suffering, which isn't going to make you
>popular. Make sure you are aware of all the issues and not only those of
>your passionate cause.
>
>Economic consequences of foot and mouth doesn't end with farmers and
>tourism.
>
>Current vaccination of livestock merely condemns those animals to death.
>
>So many things you have to think of to save the World, are you sure you can
>handle it all?
>
>Whatever you can think of the answer comes back the same. You lose. Everyone
>loses, some more than others. That is why there is specific legislation for
>it.
>
>Comply. Resistance is futile.
>
>John
>
--
Peter D.
FCS
news:vdacotk4u45k3qq53...@4ax.com...
(snip)
> So that's one vote from me, and many million proxy votes on
> behalf of farm animals. (The veggie agenda appears to raise the
> status of animals to the same as that of humans, so they should
> not be denied a vote.)
Gods! Did I write all that!
And you have to read it all until you get to the bit about foot and mouth
needing a positive law to deal with it!
Strangely enough, somebody did put their dog on the electoral register at
the last General Election.
Nobody noticed until the dog was called up for jury service!!! So, from a
certain point of view, Maria got her wish. Truly the system of Usenet does
work.
Thanks for the nomination, I know where I'm going! :-)
John
Peter Duncanson
wrote:
>
>Thanks for the nomination, I know where I'm going! :-)
>
>John
I started thinking about a special prize for the champion
cross-posters. However, once I had thought "cross-posting >
cross-breeding > compulsory cross-species mating for the winners
in a heavy-petting-Zoo" I decided to get my imagination back
under control. :-)))
--
Peter D.