HP Sauce Joke?
JBG
> I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p
> a month for the next 2 years.
Regards,
John Grosh
Einde O'Callaghan
HP Sauce is a common brand of brown sauce with a picture of of big ben
on teh label - hence HP (Houses of Parliament) IIRC.
HP is also the abbreviation for hire purchase - I don't know what it's
called in the US - a system of paying for goods in installments (often
monthly over a period of 2 or 3 years).
Regards, Einde O'Callaghan
JBG
Thank you, that sounds like a correct explanation. When you
have to explain a joke.. well.. you know what I mean.
Sometimes dead fish in the face is preferable, at least
according to Monty Python.
A lease/purchase plan might be what that arrangement is
called in the US. There is no connection between Heinz's
Catsup, our Congress and lease purchase which is worth
making a joke about.
Thanks again for your help. I'll pass it along.
Regards,
John Grosh
Harvey V
[...]
> When you have to explain a joke.. well.. you know what I mean.
> Sometimes dead fish in the face is preferable, at least according
> to Monty Python.
Some jokes just don't travel well. It even happens with accents and
puns: when I first moved to England, there was a billboard
advertisement for Bisto Gravy Granules (instant gravy powder; hideous
stuff) that read:
"Bisto puts the "aaaahhhhh" in Gavy Ganules".
I pronounce "r" as "aarr"; "aaahhhh" doesn't work at *all* for my
accent. It took me a few readings to figure it out....
Harvey
Laura F Spira
Bisto had someone getting a whiff of Bisto gravy and saying 'Aaahh!
Bisto!'
--
Laura
(emulate St. George for email)
Nero
>
>HP Sauce is a common brand of brown sauce with a picture of of big ben
>on teh label - hence HP (Houses of Parliament) IIRC.
>
>HP is also the abbreviation for hire purchase - I don't know what it's
>called in the US - a system of paying for goods in installments (often
>monthly over a period of 2 or 3 years).
>
>Regards, Einde O'Callaghan
A staple part of my childhood reading matter at mealtimes was the label on the
HP Sauce bottle. For some reason part of the text was in French. Does anyone
else remember this ? What was the reason ? It started something like "Cette
sauce de haute qualite est une melange delicieuse d'epices.." or something like
that (please excuse inevitable French grammar howlers).
Neil
David
<nos...@newsranger.com> wrote:
> A staple part of my childhood reading matter at mealtimes was the
> label on the HP Sauce bottle. For some reason part of the text was
> in French. Does anyone else remember this ? What was the reason ?
> It started something like "Cette sauce de haute qualite est une
> melange delicieuse d'epices.." or something like that (please excuse
> inevitable French grammar howlers).
Excuse the uppercase 'cos that's how it is on the label:
LA SAUCE HP
ENTIERMENT NATUREL
UN MELANGE DE HAUTE
QUALITE DE FRUITS
ORIENTAUX D'EPICES ET
DE VINAIGRE
Touch of "class"?
--
http://www.dacha.freeuk.com/zodiac/8sco-0.htm
Scorpio (October 24th - November 22nd)
Images, Associations, Qualities, Careers, Health
Matti Lamprhey
> Nero <nos...@newsranger.com> wrote:
>
> > A staple part of my childhood reading matter at mealtimes was the
> > label on the HP Sauce bottle. For some reason part of the text was
> > in French. Does anyone else remember this ? What was the reason ?
> > It started something like "Cette sauce de haute qualite est une
> > melange delicieuse d'epices.." or something like that (please excuse
> > inevitable French grammar howlers).
>
> Excuse the uppercase 'cos that's how it is on the label:
>
> LA SAUCE HP
> ENTIERMENT NATUREL
> UN MELANGE DE HAUTE
> QUALITE DE FRUITS
> ORIENTAUX D'EPICES ET
> DE VINAIGRE
>
> Touch of "class"?
I looked at a bottle of HP Sauce on a supermarket shelf the other day
hoping to read the Frog stuff, and it was extremely conspicuous by its
absinthe. And the stuff you've quoted above is certainly not how I and
Nero remember it. What is the product and manufacturer associated with
your label? Are you sure it's not some Korean rip-off?
Matti
Harvey V
<matti-...@totally-official.com> said:
[...]
> I looked at a bottle of HP Sauce on a supermarket shelf the other
> day hoping to read the Frog stuff, and it was extremely conspicuous
> by its absinthe. And the stuff you've quoted above is certainly
> not how I and Nero remember it. What is the product and
> manufacturer associated with your label? Are you sure it's not
> some Korean rip-off?
>
> Matti
It would, of course, have to be labelled in both languages for sale in
Canada. Perhaps there's a grey market in the stuff...
Harvey
Nero
The bit about "fruits orientaux" sounds familiar, however.
Neil
David
Matti Lamprhey <matti-...@totally-official.com> wrote:
> "David" <da...@dacha.freeuk.com> wrote...
[Snip]
> >
> > LA SAUCE HP
> > ENTIERMENT NATUREL
> > UN MELANGE DE HAUTE
> > QUALITE DE FRUITS
> > ORIENTAUX D'EPICES ET
> > DE VINAIGRE
> >
> > Touch of "class"?
> I looked at a bottle of HP Sauce on a supermarket shelf the other day
> hoping to read the Frog stuff, and it was extremely conspicuous by
> its absinthe. And the stuff you've quoted above is certainly not how
> I and Nero remember it. What is the product and manufacturer
> associated with your label? Are you sure it's not some Korean
> rip-off?
HP Foods Ltd, Aston Cross, a company of the Danone Group. The top does
have a date of OCT 00 though. I thought it'd been tasting a bit odd
lately..
--
http://www.dacha.freeuk.com/ada/0a-0.htm
What exactly are meteor showers, and when is the best time to see them?
Dr Robin Bignall
It's an attempt to pander to the French customs inspectors. A letter
in the London 'Times' a couple of months ago from someone who owns
property in France and who has been dividing his time between the two
countries for 30 years, described how he was stopped and a bottle of
HP sauce confiscated because of the foot and mouth problem. So it
obviously doesn't work!
--
wrmst rgrds
RB...(docr...@ntlworld.com)
Danny Collman
<da...@dacha.freeuk.com> writes
>In article <4Ab87.38$xa6.6315@wards>,
> Matti Lamprhey <matti-...@totally-official.com> wrote:
>> "David" <da...@dacha.freeuk.com> wrote...
>
>[Snip]
>
>> >
>> > LA SAUCE HP
>> > ENTIERMENT NATUREL
>> > UN MELANGE DE HAUTE
>> > QUALITE DE FRUITS
>> > ORIENTAUX D'EPICES ET
>> > DE VINAIGRE
>> >
>> > Touch of "class"?
>
>> I looked at a bottle of HP Sauce on a supermarket shelf the other day
>> hoping to read the Frog stuff, and it was extremely conspicuous by
>> its absinthe. And the stuff you've quoted above is certainly not how
>> I and Nero remember it. What is the product and manufacturer
>> associated with your label? Are you sure it's not some Korean
>> rip-off?
>
>HP Foods Ltd, Aston Cross, a company of the Danone Group. The top does
>have a date of OCT 00 though. I thought it'd been tasting a bit odd
>lately..
I've only recently started looking at this newsgroup again - found some
of the stuff hilarious. HP Foods may be part of 'X' but the factory is
in Aston, Birmingham.
I'm intrigued that the date is last year, because I thought that the
factory had been deserted for about 10 years: I pass by it quite
frequently.
--
Danny Collman, Birmingham
John Holmes
"Matti Lamprhey" <matti-...@totally-official.com> wrote in message
news:4Ab87.38$xa6.6315@wards...
> "David" <da...@dacha.freeuk.com> wrote...
> > Excuse the uppercase 'cos that's how it is on the label:
> >
> > LA SAUCE HP
> > ENTIERMENT NATUREL
> > UN MELANGE DE HAUTE
> > QUALITE DE FRUITS
> > ORIENTAUX D'EPICES ET
> > DE VINAIGRE
> >
> > Touch of "class"?
>
> I looked at a bottle of HP Sauce on a supermarket shelf the other day
> hoping to read the Frog stuff, and it was extremely conspicuous by its
> absinthe. And the stuff you've quoted above is certainly not how I
and
> Nero remember it. What is the product and manufacturer associated
with
> your label? Are you sure it's not some Korean rip-off?
The original French wording was the subject of a very moving rendition
by a bereted Marty Feldman in one of his television series. There is a
video of highlights from the series which includes it.
--
Regards
John
roger.d
I, also, used to read the label on the HP sauce bottle in the works canteen in
Shepherds Bush (West London), where I worked in about 1966.
I recall the French wording, referring to viandes, chaudes and froides.
As a newcomer to the world of work I amused my workmates with my comment, meat, on
Tuesdays and Fridays.
Oh , what wit and erudition and, oh, oh , oh, what a Pratt!!!
The other feature of that canteen was the menu blackboard, with the dish of the day
being Rissoles but with the leg of the R rubbed out. Not me Sir, Honest !!!
Whilst in nostalgia mode, is Tate and Lyle's Golden Syrup still on the shelves!
There was a picture of a dead lion with a swarm of bees ducking and diving, with the
caption "Out of the Strong came forth Sweetness"
My memory is that to be REALLY good, you had to poke a hole in the crystallised crust
before spooning it out onto the porridge that burnt your throat all the way down!
Sorry, it's past my bed-time!!!
Roger the redundant!
Phil C.
"roger.d" <rog...@ntlworld.com> wrote in message
news:3B6889DE...@ntlworld.com...
!!!
> Whilst in nostalgia mode, is Tate and Lyle's Golden Syrup still
on the shelves!
> There was a picture of a dead lion with a swarm of bees ducking
and diving, with the
> caption "Out of the Strong came forth Sweetness"
> My memory is that to be REALLY good, you had to poke a hole in
the crystallised crust
> before spooning it out onto the porridge that burnt your throat
all the way down!
In my family we had it on steamed puddings. We used to compete to
trickle it on to the pudding from the greatest height. We would
end up standing on our chairs with our spoons of syrup held as
high as possible. My father would never have allowed such
shenanigans except that he was the most enthusiastic participant.
--
Phil C.
_______________________________
philandwoody"at"meem"dot"freeserve"dot"co"dot"uk
Dr Robin Bignall
wrote:
[..]
>Whilst in nostalgia mode, is Tate and Lyle's Golden Syrup still on the shelves!
>There was a picture of a dead lion with a swarm of bees ducking and diving, with the
>caption "Out of the Strong came forth Sweetness"
Yes.
>My memory is that to be REALLY good, you had to poke a hole in the crystallised crust
>before spooning it out onto the porridge that burnt your throat all the way down!
>
I have it on really thick rice pudding. Yummy!
--
wrmst rgrds
RB...(docr...@ntlworld.com)
Su
"Dr Robin Bignall" <docr...@ntlworld.com> wrote in message
news:n3ejmtork7egvi48b...@4ax.com...
Sorry to butt in, but the correct accompaniment to thick rice pudding (and
my mum makes it so you can cut it in slices) is Robertsons Strawberry jam -
the sort with the golly.
On the other hand, Tate & Lyle's should be spooned over slices of suet
pudding (like Spotted Dick only without the plums or raisins or anything
approaching healthy stuff - and known to many as Boiled Baby - and slightly
slimy on the outside).
I didn't get where I am today by eating healthy stuff...
Su
roger.d
>
> "Dr Robin Bignall" <docr...@ntlworld.com> wrote in message
> news:n3ejmtork7egvi48b...@4ax.com...
> > On Wed, 01 Aug 2001 23:59:42 +0100, "roger.d" <rog...@ntlworld.com>
> > wrote:
> >
> > [..]
> > >Whilst in nostalgia mode, is Tate and Lyle's Golden Syrup still on the
> shelves!
> > >There was a picture of a dead lion with a swarm of bees ducking and
> diving, with the
> > >caption "Out of the Strong came forth Sweetness"
> >
> > Yes.
> >
> > >My memory is that to be REALLY good, you had to poke a hole in the
Badly worded!! The syrup was intended to be really good, not the consumer! Sorry,
past bed-time!
> > >before spooning it out onto the porridge that burnt your throat all the
> way down!
> > >
> > I have it on really thick rice pudding. Yummy!
>
> Sorry to butt in, but the correct accompaniment to thick rice pudding (and
> my mum makes it so you can cut it in slices) is Robertsons Strawberry jam -
> the sort with the golly.
>
> On the other hand, Tate & Lyle's should be spooned over slices of suet
> pudding (like Spotted Dick only without the plums or raisins or anything
> approaching healthy stuff - and known to many as Boiled Baby - and slightly
> slimy on the outside).
> I didn't get where I am today by eating healthy stuff...
>
> Su
Oh dear,
Now my braincells are really having to earn their keep!
My Dad used to take me to Frank's Caff, spelt Cafe but said CAFF.
My favourite was "Plain and Syrup".
No fruit , just plain suet or some other sort of spongey pud. Must have been suet!
That was a Saturday thing.
Every Sunday dinner-time, (we didn't have lunch then!) Dad would take HIS Dad to the
pub and, sometimes I went as well.
I remember the smell of proper beer wafting out of the extractor fans and my treat
was to go into the Off-License next to the public bar and buy an Arrowroot biscuit
for, I think, one penny. D not P!
Then I would go down to the canal and chuck stones at the wood-yard on the opposite
side. Don't really know why but the word "boring" hadn't been invented in the 50's.
Bugger, Nurse has just come in to put me to bed!!!
G'night,
The Fool on the Hill
Richard Lambley
JBG<jbg...@mindspring.com> wrote:
> There is no connection between Heinz's
> Catsup, our Congress and lease purchase which is worth
> making a joke about.
No? I'm sure Garrison Keillor's Ketchup Advisory Board would be able
to help. Try your local public radio station on Saturdays.
Richard
--
Molly
ntli.net>, Su (Su <suem...@ntlworld.com>) wrote
>On the other hand, Tate & Lyle's should be spooned over slices of suet
>pudding (like Spotted Dick only without the plums or raisins or anything
>approaching healthy stuff - and known to many as Boiled Baby - and slightly
>slimy on the outside).
And that is exactly the name it bore in the days of Nelson's Navy, and
quite possibly for a long time before - but it is certainly mentioned
frequently by Patrick O'Brian, whose research was always meticulous
(although now and again he would mischievously throw in an anachronism
just to see whether the eagle-eyed would spot it!)
--
Molly Mockford
(remove -nospam to email me)
http://www.pagination.co.uk
Jacko
> stuff) that read:
OY! You leave BBG alone! Although I admit the taste is not as good as
"Bisto Best"
From one who has gravy on EVERYTHING! (yes even fried eggs, beans,
bacon....)
Jacko
food.
>
OK that is E-NOUGH!
First someone slags off Bisto GG's, and NOW {R} is givin' grief to another
part of me upbringin'.
First off, I was enlightened, nay fascinated, to read that 'HP' stood for
"Houses of Parliament" but I take objection to people slaggin' off an
integral part of me staple diet. Secondly, cast ye the first stone who
hasn't bunged some HP on a cremated barby offering to make it more
palatable.....
David
...jam sarnies...
--
http://www.dacha.freeuk.com/photo/0y14-0.htm
What's the difference between a Leeds barmaid and a Tetley Horse?
None: they both pull an awful lot of pints!
David
> OK that is E-NOUGH!
Wouldn't Daddies Sauce be more suitable for Barbie..?
--
http://www.dacha.freeuk.com/joachim/
Tales of Joachim (and his lamb)
Phil C.
"Jacko" <jacko_...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9_Ia7.47495$_b4.4...@news1.cableinet.net...
> > advertisement for Bisto Gravy Granules (instant gravy powder;
hideous
> > stuff) that read:
>
> OY! You leave BBG alone! Although I admit the taste is not as
good as
> "Bisto Best"
"Gravy" is one of those words that begins to sound strange when
you focus on it. According to Webster's it comes from a misreading
of the Old French "grané", perhaps linked to "grain", referring to
cooking ingredients. So they should be called "grainy granules".
Ah... tautology!
I recall that some Indian restaurant menus used to refer to their
sauces as gravy. I assume the proprietors had adopted the usual
British connotations of sauce and gravy and wanted to distinguish
their nectar from stuff shaken out of bottles.
Phil C.
> > "HP Sauce" a shitty brown mixture designed to cover the taste
of burnt
> food.
> >
>
> OK that is E-NOUGH!
>
> First someone slags off Bisto GG's, and NOW {R} is givin' grief
to another
> part of me upbringin'.
I'm told that green tomato ketchup is becoming popular in the UK
as a result of holidays in the USA. This is evidently not an
interesting condiment made from green tomatoes and equivalent to
tomato chutney. It is red tomato ketchup dyed green. I think I
will write to the manufacturers and offer to piss in every bottle.
I can't see why they'd object.
Harvey V
said:
I was entirely spoiled for any chance of liking the stuff.
My mother always made her own gravy from scratch -- she was proud of
the skill -- and when I got married 20 years ago, I found out that my
wife also made her own gravy from scratch.
I kind of figured everybody did this -- spoiled rotten, I tell you --
and thus was appalled the first time I was served Bisto instead....
(What *IS* this stuff? Slightly glutenous funny-tasting coffee or
something? Gravy? Nahhhh.....)
Cheers,
Harvey
Dr Robin Bignall
<whhvs@*removethis*operamail.com> wrote:
>On 04 Aug 2001, I take it that "Jacko" <jacko_...@hotmail.com>
>said:
>
>>> advertisement for Bisto Gravy Granules (instant gravy powder;
>>> hideous stuff) that read:
>>
>> OY! You leave BBG alone! Although I admit the taste is not as good
>> as "Bisto Best"
>>
>> From one who has gravy on EVERYTHING! (yes even fried eggs, beans,
>> bacon....)
>>
>I was entirely spoiled for any chance of liking the stuff.
>
>My mother always made her own gravy from scratch -- she was proud of
>the skill -- and when I got married 20 years ago, I found out that my
>wife also made her own gravy from scratch.
>
People use Bisto because EEC Regulation 142/19ab-27 (bis) abolished
the importation, production and sale of scratch.
--
wrmst rgrds
RB...(docr...@ntlworld.com)
Dr Robin Bignall
wrote:
>
>"Jacko" <jacko_...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>news:qfJa7.47609$_b4.4...@news1.cableinet.net...
>> > "HP Sauce" a shitty brown mixture designed to cover the taste
>of burnt
>> food.
>> >
>>
>> OK that is E-NOUGH!
>>
>> First someone slags off Bisto GG's, and NOW {R} is givin' grief
>to another
>> part of me upbringin'.
>
>I'm told that green tomato ketchup is becoming popular in the UK
>as a result of holidays in the USA. This is evidently not an
>interesting condiment made from green tomatoes and equivalent to
>tomato chutney. It is red tomato ketchup dyed green. I think I
>will write to the manufacturers and offer to piss in every bottle.
>I can't see why they'd object.
They just announced a plan to make the stuff purple, too.
--
wrmst rgrds
RB...(docr...@ntlworld.com)
Molly
om>, Dr Robin Bignall (Dr Robin Bignall <docr...@ntlworld.com>) wrote
>>I'm told that green tomato ketchup is becoming popular in the UK
>>as a result of holidays in the USA. This is evidently not an
>>interesting condiment made from green tomatoes and equivalent to
>>tomato chutney. It is red tomato ketchup dyed green. I think I
>>will write to the manufacturers and offer to piss in every bottle.
>>I can't see why they'd object.
>
>They just announced a plan to make the stuff purple, too.
That's easy - I can do that. Just leave it in the cupboard for three
years.
Harvey V
<docr...@ntlworld.com> said:
[...]
> People use Bisto because EEC Regulation 142/19ab-27 (bis) abolished
> the importation, production and sale of scratch.
Nah: they were using the stuff long before EEC regs came in.
Masochists, I tell ya', all of 'em......
Cheers,
Harvey
Harvey V
<docr...@ntlworld.com> said:
>> It is red tomato ketchup dyed green. I think I will write to the
>> manufacturers and offer to piss in every bottle. I can't see why
>> they'd object.
>
> They just announced a plan to make the stuff purple, too.
To be marketed to a one-eyed, one-horned, flying, purple ketchup-eater.
Harvey
Jacko
> }"Bisto Best"
> }
> }From one who has gravy on EVERYTHING! (yes even fried eggs, beans,
> }bacon....)
>
<big grin>
I once went on an Oracle course down in Bracknell with some colleagues. We
stayed at some kind of fancy "coaching house" type establishment and ate our
evening meal in the pub/restaurant. My colleagues watched with bemusement as
I ordered 15-quids-worth of fillet steak (this was about 8 years ago, so
that wasn't cheap nosh) with mash for my evening meal. "Any vegetables sir?"
enquired the uppity mistress(?) d'hotel. "No thanks", I replied, "but a
portion of Bisto Gravy Granules (Bisto Best didn't exist then) would be very
nice..." "I'm sure we can manage to find you some gravy, sir" she sniffed
disdainfully as she stalked off to the sound of the table erupting into
laughter....
BTW, when travellng abroad, I can recommend "John and Joseph's" in Benidorm
for fine mash, beans & pork steak (and, of course, gravy)
Your resident culcha vulcha,
Jacko