If Microsoft made cars

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Cool Dude

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Mar 23, 2006, 2:58:42 PM3/23/06
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For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way
computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo
(COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the
auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the
computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000
miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this
part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a
new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off
the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For
some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your
car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five
percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation" warning
light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how
to drive all over again because! None of the controls would operate in the
same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.


Parish

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Mar 23, 2006, 4:53:23 PM3/23/06
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That first appeared about the time Win95 did so I reckon everyone here
has heard it...oooh...at least a dozen times.

Cool Dude

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Mar 24, 2006, 5:51:27 AM3/24/06
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"Parish" wrote:
> That first appeared about the time Win95 did so I reckon everyone here has
> heard it...oooh...at least a dozen times.

True, but new-comers are coming to computing all the time. Sorry I bothered.


Roy Schestowitz

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Mar 24, 2006, 6:37:42 AM3/24/06
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__/ [ Cool Dude ] on Thursday 23 March 2006 19:58 \__

> For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way
> computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo
> (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the
> auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the
> computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000
> miles to the gallon."
>
> In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
> stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
> driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this
> part):
>

> <snip />


__/ [ Cool Dude ] on Friday 24 March 2006 10:51 \__

Have a look at the very popular (and recent) video which is titled "What if
Microsoft designed the iPod":

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=36099539665548298&q=microsoft+ipod

Best wishes,

Roy

--
Roy S. Schestowitz | #00ff00 Day - Bakset Case
http://Schestowitz.com | SuSE Linux Ś PGP-Key: 0x74572E8E
11:35am up 16 days 4:12, 8 users, load average: 1.05, 0.91, 0.82
http://iuron.com - Open Source knowledge engine project

Daniel James

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Mar 24, 2006, 7:34:01 AM3/24/06
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In article news:<4422...@212.67.96.135>, Cool Dude wrote:
> "If GM had kept up with technology like the
> computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000
> miles to the gallon."

A golden oldie .... but you omit to mention that this trend also implies
that current cars would have several thousand seats and be only a few
centimetres long.

Cheers,
Daniel.

John of Aix

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Mar 24, 2006, 6:28:20 PM3/24/06
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No, don't be. I know this but it is a while since I heard/read t and it
made me laugh again. You are perfectly right, there are lots of
newcomers who have never seen it and could appreciate it. Tough luck for
those for whom it is an old joke, that's life.


John of Aix

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Mar 24, 2006, 6:29:14 PM3/24/06
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Is that in the Chinese shop on the corner or direct from Dell?


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