Allen@Large.as by a ghost writer.
Mac
Allen is snoring on the bunk so I thought I'd just get a few words
posted to drum up some support. Not as I'm a Silver anything but as a
constant lurker in the forums.
We have an agreement Allen, hereinafter known as the human, and I,
hereinafter called the dog. Troy, the black labrador, will know what I'm
on about and it is truly shameful that agreements made are subject to
the whims of humans. I get bundled up into the car and left there at all
the supermarkets, I should be allowed to choose the family meals on an
equal basis to the human.
He gets all the stuff wrong, when we get meat it is always off the bone.
A tasty bone is worth a lot in my circles and I refuse to have Chicken
Kiev's with my biccies.
At Morrisons they sell boxes of bones and he cooks them for me but he
drags me off to the New Forest without so much as a bye your leave.
Breast of Lamb from Tesco is the most I can expect.
I get my revenge though if he misses my request for water in my dish or
a few chews from my box. It is my box and I should be allowed to get
things out, he's got some doggie chocks in there and treats from Auntie
Gaynor. She meant me to have them straight away.
We dogs know about things like that. So in the night I get out of my
bunk, the comfortable, boggie smelling one, and slump against the
cupboard doors. Sometimes it takes two or three goes but he jumps up and
bangs his head on the dressing table, he he he.
I have perfected the silent rebuke ! A stare toward the human and a
quick glance to the bowl that needs refilling or a quick pawing open of
the refrigerator. A crafty knock on the milk can mean a satisfying drink
with not too much mess to get shouted at for.
I always pretend I haven't heard.
What about the walks? Every Sunday he boasts that he is taking me out
but then he needs to switch off the 'puter, put his clothes on and then
his shoes. Then he needs his keys, watch and money, there are no shops
so why does he need money. I mean who needs shoes, and two of them to be
tied as well. Camera in his pocket and insult of insults the lead. Now
would I dash off anywhere ? Then it's hey ho for the magic path and the
shortest route he can get me to go on. I hide sometimes, well nearly
everytime, if he kept up with me he would see where I was.
He may not be aware of all my useful functions, I shelter him with my
body when it thunders and he says it is because I am a scaredy cat.
Approaching horses getting near the caravan need warning off, I can hear
better than him so sometimes they look as if they are a hundred yards
away.
You probably won't get any posts of this quality for a while as he's a
bit funny about me nudging the keyboard with my nose.
He's stirring now so I'll be off, just post this, .... .... hmmm 'Go on
Line'..... .... right, now send. ;-)
Allen is illustrated @ http://www.outlane.com/page204.htm also from
http://www.age-net.co.uk a site for silversurfing.
See you on Sunday
--
Mac
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car,
in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing
right in your ear.
- Dave Barry
Bart the Bedlington
Mac <M...@Outlane.com> wrote in message news:3CB32E24...@Outlane.com...
I know what you mean speaking as one human owner to another.
To be a Bedlington Terrier is not all it is cracked up to be!
Why they have to have me clipped is beyond me,the itching afterwards!
Then they have the cheek to tell me off when I lick the sore bits!
Mind you I did get a little revenge the other day...hehe.
my human decided to "teach' me how to swim (did'nt we teach them the dog
paddle?)
What fun it was to get out and roll in that nice smelly pile of compost and
then............................
get back in the pool,why my human did not see the fun side of this is a
mystery!
Keep up the good work Mac,try sitting on the humans chest to stop him
snoring.
Regards
Bart.