I saw the Light!

[peal james r]

My parents took me to church when I was growing up. I think they
did it because they believed it was the right way to raise children.
They were raised as protestants, so it's only natural for them to have
done the same with me. I don't think they questioned the existence
of God or the validity of Christ as the son of God. In their case,
I think they simply accepted it as truth, no questions asked. It was
what respectable folks did. We went to church every Sunday or every
other Sunday and that was about it. At home, religion was not really
a part of everyday life. When I was 13 I was baptized and confirmed
in the church. By this point in my life I realized I was just going
through the motions. None of this meant anything to me. Communion
was meaningless, I prayed to empty space, Christ was just a guy with
a good attitude. From that day on I knew Christianity wasn't for me.
Soon I stopped taking communion, I stopped the empty praying. As the
years have gone by I've become more convinced that religion is a crutch
for the weak and afraid. An illusion of security, nothing more. I've
always felt the more religious a person is the more deluded they are.
Faith is an exercise in the avoidance of the fact that the human
condition is totally futile.

Revelation may come to believers and non-believers alike. The faithful
often tell of how God spoke to them while they prayed or perhaps they
had a vision or a dream and God communicated to them something
important. It isn't unusual to hear of this happening, nor is it
surprising since it is, understandably, an extension of faith.

Likewise, there have been those who say they rejected God and then
found salvation. The stories abound of how the once despicable
individual who, usually after some traumatic experience or after
hitting an all time low, suddenly sees the truth in belief.

My revelation came in a different way. I wasn't doing anything
remotely spiritual before it happened. I had eaten dinner and wanted
something sweet afterwards. You know how it is, perhaps. So I spent
some time reading recipes from various cookbooks thinking about making
a really yummy fluffy sweet desert. As it turned out, I read for so
long that it got late and I was getting sleepy. Yeah, the sandman was
knockin' at my door and I had to forget about making any fancy desert.
Don't get me wrong, I wanted it, I was just too darn tired. As I laid
down, my craving gnawed at me until sleep soon took over. That's when
it happened..... God came to me in the middle of the night, woke me and
began to reveal the plan. I was not able to discern Gods gender from
the sound of the voice, it seemed so androgynous. I suspect God is
bisexual, which makes sense to me. Maybe God created that voice just
for me, or perhaps that's how I *perceived* Gods voice. Regardless, the
voice was soothing and reassuring. With a slight french accent God said,
"Bake a souffle and you will find faith" I sat up and looked towards
the voice but all I saw was a bright energy light that appeared hazy
through the tears that ran from my eyes. Finally I found the courage
to ask, "I don't understand, why make a souffle, are there not other
deserts more delightful with which to honor you?" to which God replied
"Each to his own talents, you can't handle the complicated stuff".
I said to God, "I suppose I shouldn't expect you to have much faith in
me after I gave you so little all these years". I knew God was right,
a souffle was challenging enough for me. Now here's the good part, God
didn't just say a few cryptic words and then take off like a flash as
you might expect. Oh no, God stuck around and helped me out. So, I
pressed for more details. I said, " Hey God, If I make the souffle
will you be pleased." God replied, "If you do not overbake it I will
be pleased, my son" "The Souffle must be soft in the middle". Well,
I was amazed. I got right out of bed and started cooking while God
stayed in the bedroom and watched paid programming on t.v. I followed
the recipe step by step and waited while the mixture baked in the oven.
It was a lemon souffle. When the time came to take it out of the oven,
I must have opened the oven door too quickly because God came running
out and yelled at me, "Be careful my son or the souffle will fall and
your SOUL SHALL BE DAMNED!" I stood in fear, I was scared, I didn't
realize God could be so bitchy about this.

Anyway, as it turned out, the souffle didn't fall and it came out
absolutely perfect. God suggested serving it with mandarin oranges
and Grand Marnier, but I said I didn't care how important this was,
I wasn't going out at 2:00 am to get some. So we settled for some
whipped cream instead. The next thing I know I'm waking up in the
morning. It was a dream, a vision? What had happened to me in the
middle of the night? The kitchen was a wreck with mixing bowls and
measuring spoons. The floor was completely covered with flour and
sugar. God and me must have been pigs, because there was nothing left
of the souffle besides a few crumbs in the bottom of a baking dish.

That's exactly how it happened. I don't really expect you to believe
every word, but that's okay. This was personal, so itdoesn't matter
what you think. All I can say is that my life is forever changed.
I'm a believer and I know the path I must follow.

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