Things not to do in Deutschland
Philipp Tietjen
know this:
Not every German is a Nazi, some just want to cut a deal with you.
But: There are also a heck of a lot of don'ts you should be aware of.
Talking crap:
Communication in Germany is always well directed ("Make way!", "Your
passport!, "Gimme that money!"). What you may know from your culture as
having a nice chat ("May I help you crossing that street?", "What a
nice rainy day!", "I am from Burundi, by the way.") is beeing seen in
Germany as superficial babble and a waste of time.
Walking around unwashed:
In countries like yours - with that unique tradition, its blooming
culture and overflowing joie de vivre (french synonym for the
republican term "groove") - it might be normal to let the god of soap
be a nice man and pollute everything with penetrative body odor. In
Germany people make use of showers etc.. Daily. They also clean their
armpits!
Refusing invitations:
If a German brings himself to invite you over to his home to explain to
you his very own waste seperation system never refuse that invitation.
Otherwise you would gain another enemy. And what it means to have
Germans as an enemy, that every history book will explain to you.
Inappropriate appearance:
With an inaappropriate appearance you could hurt religious feelings in
Germany. Of course no one would ever intervene if catholic raised
brasilian models would go on a church sightseeing tour in their
national costume (G-String bikini), especially in East Germany you
should try not to provoke the locals with an abnormally different skin
color though. The old germanic gods that are worshipped there just
don't allow such thing.
Staying sober in the evening:
Troughout the day Germany are a bunch of hard working and liveless
engineers. In the evenings, after a whole lot of beer the become
outgoing and intitiate a bash. Do always join them doing that! Everyone
standing aside not drinking easily gets ones ass whooped. Everyone who
joines in also - but if you are drunk you don't realize it that much...
To get lost:
This is an important advice for hooligans, that plan a big sightseeing
tour: The "Hermannsdenkmal" is not named after Hermann Göring and the
SS wasn't stationed in the "Schwarzwald" and Hitler did not die at the
Neuschwanstein castle.
Mentioning the war:
Never forget to mention the second world war! Germans are dying to
prove to you in discussions that last for hours how they really know
about their partially bad past and that they have learned a lot from
it. Afterwards Germans very much like to tell you everything about what
is going wrong in your own country and which genocides you should feel
responsible for.
Jeroen Wijnands
Philipp Tietjen wrote:
<snip>
>
> Mentioning the war:
> Never forget to mention the second world war! Germans are dying to
> prove to you in discussions that last for hours how they really know
> about their partially bad past and that they have learned a lot from
> it. Afterwards Germans very much like to tell you everything about what
> is going wrong in your own country and which genocides you should feel
> responsible for.
And, if you're dutch, be sure to ask to get your bicycle back.
Jeroen