Separating twins

[Claudia Marciante]

I'm sure there has been discussions about this before but has anyone any thoughts on this - my twins turn 3 in January and will move from toddler room Into nursery. The children's centre have suggested they go into different classes. The two classrooms are adjoining and there is free flow between so it's really just carpet time and lunch they would be separate. Any thoughts on what's best for them? Cheers Claudia

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[Sophia Grene]

I believe quite strongly that it very much depends on the children themselves. My girls I don't mind either way, because although they are very close, they're also both very sociable, and neither is really dominant. If one were silent while the other talked, or other dynamics that mightn't be totally desirable, I'd want them separated.

If they were really anxious without each other, I'd question whether they were ready to be separated, without prejudging an answer. 

The Tamba guidelines are that the parents generally know best on these issues, and schools should listen to feedback rather than having set policies.

My girls haven't been separated, though, so I don't know what that might be like. Does anyone else have experience of separating twins?

Sophia

On 21 September 2015 at 13:13, Claudia Marciante <claudiam...@gmail.com> wrote:

I'm sure there has been discussions about this before but has anyone any thoughts on this - my twins turn 3 in January and will move from toddler room Into nursery. The children's centre have suggested they go into different classes. The two classrooms are adjoining and there is free flow between so it's really just carpet time and lunch they would be separate. Any thoughts on what's best for them?  Cheers Claudia

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Sophia Grene
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[Clodagh Nevin]

hi Claudia,

I have gathered a lot of anecdotal evidence on this, in preparation for school applications, speaking to headteachers, and teachers about what they would recommend.

In most cases the recommendation has been to separate, to foster development own identity, and allow space to develop own separate learning journeys.

The only exception being, identical twins, for whom separation can prove too anxiety provoking.

Can't speak from experience, my twins have not yet been offered opportunity to separate.  They bicker so much I think they might like own space, but can't say that for sure.

Hope this is helpful

Clodagh
 

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From: Claudia Marciante <claudiam...@gmail.com>
To: "twins-c...@googlegroups.com" <twins-c...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Monday, 21 September 2015, 13:13
Subject: [twins-club-n16] Separating twins

I'm sure there has been discussions about this before but has anyone any thoughts on this - my twins turn 3 in January and will move from toddler room Into nursery. The children's centre have suggested they go into different classes. The two classrooms are adjoining and there is free flow between so it's really just carpet time and lunch they would be separate. Any thoughts on what's best for them?  Cheers Claudia

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[joy beishon]

My 2 pennies worth.

My twins (non-identical) are nearly 10 and have always been in the same class. However - they have different friends and (on the whole) different interests - so at school they don't spend much time together - despite being in the same class.

But - this is just my experience.

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Date: Mon, 21 Sep 2015 15:00:20 +0000
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Subject: Re: [twins-club-n16] Separating twins

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[Dymphna Corrigan]

I agree I think parents know best.

My school suggested splitting my boy and girl also 3 into morning and afternoon nursery,

as India is very dominant - however logistically it was not an option and I think Max is now finding his feet and gets on fine.

Jane

On Monday, September 21, 2015, Claudia Marciante <claudiam...@gmail.com> wrote:

I'm sure there has been discussions about this before but has anyone any thoughts on this - my twins turn 3 in January and will move from toddler room Into nursery. The children's centre have suggested they go into different classes. The two classrooms are adjoining and there is free flow between so it's really just carpet time and lunch they would be separate. Any thoughts on what's best for them?  Cheers Claudia

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[Lucy Webb-Martin]

There is a load of TAMBA advice on this, which looks at things like is there any dependency / dominance between the twins, whether they are identical or fraternal, same sex or not .... there is no one-size fits all solution.  You will know best what's the solution for your twins.

 

(I have identical twin boys, who I split a little when they were in pre-school (two days a week, one did mornings and the other did afternoons; this was possible as I was on maternity leave with no 3).  However they were in the same class for Reception to Year 2 and, other than making sure they were treated individually and the teacher knew how to tell them apart (!), I wouldn't have had it any other way.  They have just moved schools 2 weeks go and we have deliberately split them for the first time for Year 3.  All fine - and in fact they see each other enough during breaks, lunch and various joint activities and have had absolutely no issues settling.  However I am struggling to adjust as faced with different play dates, PE kit needed on different days, etc!!). 

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[Jessica Sklair]

Hi Claudia
Sandra Driver (on this list serve ) did a load of research on separating twins at primary school, and requested that the Hackney Learning Trust use it to advise primary school heads on how to deal with the issue ( up until then there had been no advice for heads on this from the trust and it was completely at the discretion of heads to decide whether or not to separate twins). Hackney Learning Trust turned this into a pamphlet that they now circulate to all primary school heads (I know about it as I helped to make suggestions on a draft). You should be able to get a copy from them. I know your twins are a bit younger but might still be helpful. The pamphlet goes through the pros and cons and basically concludes that the decision depends on each set of twins and should be one taken by parents in consultation with teachers, and be subject to review every year as things can change . It also gives some tips on how to decide based on relationship between the twins and each one's personality etc.
Personally we have not separated our (nearly four year old) twins yet , but are planning to do so when they start primary next year. I always thought I wouldn't want to but ours are both v confident and seem to need time apart at the moment (despite being v close). If our nursery had two classes I think I might do it now and see how it goes . But I think it's a v personal decision for each set of twins.
Hope that helps !
Best
Jessie

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> On 21 Sep 2015, at 13:13, Claudia Marciante <claudiam...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> I'm sure there has been discussions about this before but has anyone any thoughts on this - my twins turn 3 in January and will move from toddler room Into nursery. The children's centre have suggested they go into different classes. The two classrooms are adjoining and there is free flow between so it's really just carpet time and lunch they would be separate. Any thoughts on what's best for them? Cheers Claudia
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>

[Ruth Lewis]

I think this is the leaflet Jessie was referring to: http://www.tamba.org.uk/file/HLT-Guidance-on-Education-of-Twins.pdf

Ruth

[Claudia Marciante]

Hello all, can I say a big thank you for all your responses re separating twins, it's been super helpful. I will show my husband and have a chat with their teachers and make a decision and let you all know how it goes. Sorry not replying individually but as you all know not much time as looking after the girls!!! Thank you xxx

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[Jessica Sklair]

Yes that’s it, many thanks Ruth!

Jessie

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