Friends Digital Download

[Maricel Fergason]

Thisis a show about love and sex and careers and a time in life when everything is possible ... about the search for commitment and security ... and the fear of commitment and security. Most of all, it's about friendship--for when you're young and single in the city, your friends are your family.

mixed feelings is a weekly advice column. Every Wednesday, a different mental health expert, author, or journalist will respond to your problems and existential questions. If you like this sort of thing, why not subscribe?

My friend group is obsessed with sharing locations with each other. I feel weird about this for a lot of reasons but mainly I keep wondering if there\u2019s something wrong with me that I don\u2019t want to share my location with people I consider my closest friends?

My friends make fun of me and sometimes call me out for not sharing my location. I know a lot of people who do this and they love it but for me, I feel really uncomfortable sharing because sometimes to get out of plans I will lie about where I am\u2026I know I should be better at communicating, but sometimes it\u2019s just easier. I think what really bothers me about all this is that I don\u2019t understand why I am so uncomfortable with [sharing my location]. I talk all the time with my friends about how I wish we all lived in the same building so we could have \u201CFriends\u201D-style relationships like on TV shows where we all hang out at each other\u2019s apartments. I\u2019m worried it\u2019s hypocritical [that I don\u2019t want] to share my location. Help! \u2014 PrivacyPlz, she/her

With social media and new technology released every day, it can be really difficult to carve out those precious moments where you\u2019re digitally \u201Cunavailable\u201D. Friends might text you hoping for an immediate response or (in your case) feel entitled to knowing where you are and what you\u2019re doing all the time. But the bottom line is, none of these things are conducive to building healthy friendships that respect individual boundaries.

Part of my job is being \u201Conline\u201D, so I\u2019ve often struggled with the expectation to be available to everyone at all times. I\u2019ve recently had to learn to communicate that though I may seem \u201Conline,\u201D sometimes I\u2019m not. I still struggle with the guilt of taking a day to text back or feel like I\u2019m letting someone down if I can\u2019t immediately pick up a FaceTime call. Opening up the conversation can be as simple as saying \u201CI love you, but sometimes I don\u2019t feel like talking so in those moments I\u2019ll call you back when I can\u201D. In your case, this could be \u201CI love you, but I\u2019m just not comfortable with anyone knowing where I am at all times.\u201D

While sharing your location with friends when you\u2019re traveling alone, walking home at night, or even going on a date with someone you met online can be a great safety measure (and something I do often), it should never be a friendship requirement. In fact, setting boundaries around social media, technology, and personal privacy is only going to become more important in the near future. Just because the technology exists, doesn\u2019t mean we have to use it all the time (despite social media platforms making us feel that way).

With increased mass surveillance programs and VR on the horizon Stanford Psychiatry professor Dr. Elias Aboujaoude says our digital privacy (and frankly, overall privacy) is in jeopardy. \u201CPrivacy is a crucial psychological need that is now under attack, with serious negative consequences to the individual and society,\u201D he says. \u201CCrucial psychological functions are mediated by privacy, including the ability to bounce back from setbacks and the ability to turn a new page and have a fresh start.\u201D In other words, we all need private moments as they allow us space to process and reflect on our thoughts. The guilt you\u2019re feeling stems from a desire for privacy that is both innate and important to people and their development. So, you\u2019re feeling uncomfortable about it because it is uncomfortable.

Dr. Aboujaoude says we should all hang onto \u201Cwhat little privacy we can still claim\u201D and I tend to agree\u2014location sharing is just location \u201Csurveillance\\\" rebranded after all. As a general rule, if you feel uncomfortable with sharing something online, you don\u2019t need to force yourself to oblige just because other people are doing it. Everyone interacts with technology in different ways and, hopefully, your friends would be open to having a larger conversation with you about online privacy, why it\u2019s important to you, and potentially find some middle ground like sharing your location only when you feel unsafe.

This question is about privacy but it\u2019s also about communicating boundaries within friendships\u2014which we all struggle with to some degree. If your friends make fun of you for expressing your needs or you feel uncomfortable being honest with them, your friendship with this group might need some work. While many people lie to get out of plans here and there, we all deserve to build the type of healthy friendships where we can say: \u201CI\u2019m feeling a bit off tonight and just can\u2019t bring myself to leave the house.\u201D

Mental Health Counselor Felicia Harper says that having these open conversations within friendships has become more important in recent years because people are starting to value their friendships on the same par as romantic relationships (which I love to see). \u201CIn romantic relationships, we\u2019re used to setting boundaries but our friendships need them too,\u201D she says. Imagine if your friend\u2019s romantic partner asked to know where they are at all times? That might make them feel uncomfortable and perhaps be deemed codependent. The same rules apply in your scenario.

When it comes to opening up the dialogue around boundaries with friends, Harper recommends having these conversations one-on-one, to avoid the group mentality and ensure each friend can hear your thoughts and concerns. \u201CUltimately, it all boils down to knowing how to meet and advocate for your needs in friendships, and it seems like you\u2019re having difficulty being honest with your friends about your needs,\u201D she says. \u201CIf you continue to lie to your friends you might eventually get caught in a lie and that will impact the friendship, so recognize that you deserve time for yourself and you have the right to that.\u201D

You should never have to share your location with anyone unless you feel open to it. \u201CIf that\u2019s a mandate in a friendship, there\u2019s something wrong with the friendship,\u201D she says. \u201CYou can still be close to someone and maintain healthy parameters.\u201D With that in mind, I know you dream of fostering friendships as you\u2019ve seen on TV. That closeness is entirely possible without being constantly available. After all, the portrayal of friendships on many TV shows lacks boundaries or nuance. \u201CIn \u2018Friends\u2019, the characters are constantly bombarding someone,\u201D says Harper.

TV is not real life, friendships are going to and should look different in reality. Because of this, Harper recommends that we enjoy these shows without holding our relationships to a standard that doesn\u2019t exist. The most important part of friendships will always be investing quality time in people and having shared experiences. What that friendship looks like on your phone after leaving the hang-out is entirely up to you. As algorithms change and update, our friendships will also have to, and the only way to build a foundation solid enough to withstand the adjustments (and alleviate the guilt you\u2019re carrying) is open communication and boundary setting. After all, we should all always be far less concerned about sharing our location with our friends than we are sharing our feelings.

Digital/Digi Stamps are downloadable files that you save to your computer and print onto cardstock, sticker paper, vellum and more. They are wonderful for cardmaking, bible journaling, scrapbooking and other paper crafts and are an inexpensive alternative to actual stamps. They can even be used with the stamps you already own. You can find more information about them and our terms of use HERE.

This product is a digital download of 300 dpi black & white images in both PNG & JPG formats PLUS a full PDF sheet. All formats are ready to be printed or imported into your preferred image-editing software.

Download Instructions:

Upon receipt of payment you will be redirected to a download screen. You will also receive an email with the download links. Click the download links and save the files to your computer.

I have been lucky enough to meet people that I see staying in my life forever, encountered plenty that left little to no mark and felt incredible joy surrounded by utter strangers who would soon become friends.

Switching between travelling regularly, staying in hostels and sightseeing to remaining stationary and living solo, I am constantly saying hello and goodbye. Friends are usually in your life for days or weeks instead of years and it can take time to make meaningful connections.

Then, when we broke up, I faced a life on the road entirely alone. I felt an immediate combination of terror and excitement rising up inside me. Could I be brave enough to approach strangers to befriend them? Was I capable of staying in hostel dorm rooms? Would I be facing a lifetime of being alone on the road?

Following that first night, introducing myself to people became less daunting. I spent the rest of my time in Phnom Penh with a lovely group, many of whom I am still in contact with, exploring every corner of the city.

3a8082e126