Re: رواية Hard Love
Elodie Akiyama
Macy Sorensen is settling into an ambitious if emotionally tepid routine: work hard as a new pediatrics resident, plan her wedding to an older, financially secure man, keep her head down and heart tucked away.
He is in love with Macy, like he is been in love with her since they were kids. But according to Macy he did something that changed her life forever in a way that was extremely hard for her to forgive.
As time goes by you can definitely see how their childhood friendship becomes more without them realizing it. They only see each other every weekend, if that, and every school break, but their connection is undeniable (you get to read about them growing up, the chapters are labeled *then* *now* for you to see their love from the beginning and when they find each other again).
We only read what Macy sees and feels, but you can tell he is in love with her from early on. He belongs to her and she belongs to him. So much so that the moment they see each other again he is so sure of his feelings for Macy that he finds a way to find her again after she ran from him at the caf from chapter one/two and he drops a bomb on her about his current relationship status, spoiler alert he literally broke up with his girlfriend the day he finds her again.
Since his parents' divorce, John's mother hasn't touched him, her new fianc wants them to move away, and his father would rather be anywhere than at Friday night dinner with his son. It's no wonder John writes articles like "Interview with the Stepfather" and "Memoirs from Hell." The only release he finds is in homemade zines like the amazing Escape Velocity by Marisol, a self-proclaimed "Puerto Rican Cuban Yankee Lesbian." Haning around the Boston Tower Records for the new issue of Escape Velocity, John meets Marisol and a hard love is born.
While at first their friendship is based on zines, dysfunctional families, and dreams of escape, soon both John and Marisol begin to shed their protective shells. Unfortunately, John mistakes this growing intimacy for love, and a disastrous date to his junior prom leaves that friendship in ruins. Desperately hoping to fix things, John convinces Marisol to come with him to a zine conference on Cape Cod. On the sandy beaches by the Bluefish Wharf Inn, John realizes just how hard love can be.
I did want to be with this one. I really wanted to choose her. She was an exquisite woman, brilliant and funny and sexy and sensual. She could make my whole body laugh with her quick, dark wit and short-circuit my brain with her exotic beauty. Waking up every morning with her snuggled in my arms was my happy place. I loved her wildly.
Unfortunately, as happens with many young couples, our ignorance of how to do love well quickly created stressful challenges in our relationship. Before long, once my early morning blissful reverie gave way to the strained, immature ways of our everyday life together, I would often wonder if there was another woman out there who was easier to love, and who could love me better.
Nice writing Bryan. I really felt your vulnerability and authenticity coming through. Intention is everything, the path of the householder. With intention, I am inspired to choose love everyday with my budding romance from your words, thank you!
Patricia
The rship I have with myself has been to fix all my broken, traumatized parts and this means constantly looking at all the hurt places. I then in turn did this with my partner, kept telling him about all his broken parts and what needed to be fixed and how to fix it. He quickly started taking it personally that there was something wrong with him then that turned to frustration and it all snow balled into a mess. I realized I needed to balance it out more with acknowledging his whole parts too and telling him how I loved that about him and not just all the broken parts and I need to do that with myself as well.
Till death do us part. That is why I stay. That is why I commit. It would be easy to walk. Sometimes it is not easy to stay. My partner has assurance that I will be there the next day. I commit. I give. I love deeply. I put my partner first. I stay for keeps. Even when the road is long. Even when my partner is ugly. I choose to love and choose stay and choose to work on me.
I agree with your article, but I also think it might be simplified too much. I agree with choosing to love, but having the awareness of why a person feels how they feel can help tremendously. I also think that pornography has larger impact on relationships than people might believe; physically and emotionally.
I still choose her everyday, but I also understand that she has the same ebbs and flows of security vs novelty. So sometimes I give her the space she needs and sometimes I smother her with love and attention.
Your words really speak to me. My husband of 9 years and I split 2 years ago and I think we had both hit the point where we had stopped choosing each other. We had really regressed to childish behaviour and ways of acting. It was not healthy for us or for our sons to see.
These days I make a point to choose him as the father of my sons. This may sound silly but choosing him reminds me of the obligations I have to my children to me a good mother. It helps me be honest and open with my ex-husband and to consider his perspective on important things. It also helps me maintain emotional boundaries for myself and for him. The result is a relationship that makes co-parenting easier and keeps our interactions respectful and mindful. This is of particular importance has my ex-husband is an Army veteran and suffers from PTSD so our relationship as parents brings a very layered and traumatic element to the table so to speak.
I once loved this man enough to make children with him and along the way I forgot this. While the love has long gone the respect and consideration is there now and that means we can both enjoy our children free of hate, grudges and disrespect. We can both look each other in the eye and say yes we are doing a good job raising our sons even though we are not together.
When my husband and I married, nearly 1 year ago, we promised to love, respect, support, challenge each other, to share our lives with one another, to make a home together (not always easy in commuting and long-distance relationship), and very importantly to choose each other:
These promises are still new in our lives, but they serve as a reminder of our commitment to stay together because we choose each other and will continue to be challenged to choose each other at many points in our lives.
Brian,
I loved this:) Reading it is inspiring. I am a Nurse and too often the only thing I hear my patients ask for is time. Not money not anything else. The only things they seem to remember is the regret of the nasty things they have done to the ones they love, and the times they took the risks that forever changed them as a person. Too often I feel we focus on what we need. When if you are in a relationship it is about both. Meeting in the middle of each others comfort zones. The painting or picture is a alive. Which is how your spirit should be with whom you choose. I loved this. Thank you for writing it. Abbey
I have been dating and living with my partner for close to 3 years. trying to understand, he still is on dating sites, so many discrepancies in what he shares and what he does. A lot of addictions, it makes me feel so sad, dishonored, i get often those weird gut feelings that things are not right. I brought up the subject to him many times. He is 62 things he does makes me feel so insecure. Some days i feel my best bet is to leave. overwhelmed. I ordered one of your training. Hoping it will clarify if things will ever change or I am beating myself up and things will remain the same with him.
While this resonates, she must also want to be chosen, and appreciate the fact that she does indeed continue to be chosen. To be taken for granted, ignored, or belittled, it is only natural to harbor some resentment.
Man I swear I was reading a paragraph out of a book about my current situation.we have been together 16 yrs and the last 4-5 yrs well they are ones id like to forget.mind you ive had 2 pregnancies in the last 5 years and those should be good memories and honestly they are the only good memories from this time frame.that puahing away effect sure does work.I wake up and ask myself why I stay.I ask myself if he loves me why does he treat me like the plague? Why do you talk down to someone your suppose to care about and love.I ask myself alot of questions.im really glad I found your article.if I cannot help my husband I can help myself from you have wrote.I plan on reading your other articles too.
alot of women are like weeds not flowers they are infested by other women who gossip and take advantage of the man and listen to there girlfiends opinions that ruins relationship. just like weeds that grow uncontrollably that need to be contained with weed be gone or round up. lol these kinds of women grow in numbers everyday.
I love this and wish I could share it, but like others have said, the photo is too provocative. My parents and Grandparents, Pastor, and kids are on my FB. Maybe you can change it, because your words hit home and would be great for me to share.
Ok, i am articles like this only make me doubt myself even further, question what more i am meant to do. After 13 years (7 years married) my wife and I have hit a point in time where we are seperated. I want to reconcile the marriage and deal with the issues we have allowed to take root in our marriage. We have endured allot over our time from a major motor vehicle accident leaving her with 3 fractured veterbate and on going chronic pain. The following 6 years where a challange with cocktails of medication from doctors and major weight gains, depression, through this period of time i was scared of coming home from work and finding her dead. Thankfully this didnt happen, she found a good doctor who refered her to a pain management clinic. Whilst she has pain everyday, she has learnt to manage it better and has fewer bad days, but by the end of the day she is stuffed. Which makes it very hard to be intimate with my partner making me fell like a charity case,
During this time i started investing in property which lead to a health profit which lead me to owning and operating a retail business, after 8 years the business was owing more money than either of us liked. I decided to close the business and have since started working 2 jobs and will have the debt paid off with in 12 months.