FW: The Guys' Rules
Ichiro Terao
The Guys' Rules
At
last a guy has taken the time to write this all
down.
Finally,
the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always
hear
"the
rules"
From
the female side.
Now
here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note..
these are all numbered "1"
ON
PURPOSE!
1.
Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a
big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You
don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports.
It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1.
Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us
be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not
work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are
perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with
a problem
only
if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your
girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is
a
Problem.
See
a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
girls,
don't
Expect
us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably
are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant
the
other
one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it
done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say
during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus
did
NOT
need
directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like
Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not
A
colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no
idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it
will
be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say
"nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is
just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an
answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go
somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.
1.
You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in
shape.
Round
IS a
shape!
1.
Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on t he couch
tonight;
But
did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to
as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many
women as you can-
to give them a bigger
laugh
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