A sucker born every microsecond
Dr. Otto Bahn
for kids to collect change on Halloween? I swear,
if my kid is ever given one of those, I'm going
to tell him he can keep whatever he collects, so
long as he says, "Thanks Sucker" every time a
moron puts unsolicited money in there.
I remember in Catholic school [shudder], there
was one nun hounding the kids to donate their
ice cream money to the charity-of-the-week,
all the while another nun was hawking the ice
cream liek a Good Humor truck because the parish
made a profit on it.
And we all brought in our UNICEF pennies, but
not before removing all the shiney objects like
nickles, dimes, and quarters.
Those damn nuns used to beat the crap out of
me on a regular basis. I was an enterprising
young lad -- in third grade I got caught while
selling a homemade playboy magazine (I cut
and pasted pictures from National Geographic).
After surviving that I could probably last a
few rounds with Mike Tyson.
I'll never forget the day in first grade, fall
of 1969, when a kid wore a Mets button to class.
"Go Mets!" the nun exclaimed to the whole class.
The next day I wore a green eco-button to class,
the one with the funky "E" and white lines
underneath it. I promptly got may ass kicked.
I can still feel the hair exiting my scalp.
I decided at an early age that the human race
can go fuck itself. I'll make my own decisions,
thankyouverymuch. I used to hide notes in my
room that said "If you can read this, you're too
nosy." Like matches in a door, the notes were
disturbed.
Indeed!
--oTTo--
Glitter Ninja
>Those damn nuns used to beat the crap out of
>me on a regular basis. I was an enterprising
>young lad -- in third grade I got caught while
>selling a homemade playboy magazine (I cut
>and pasted pictures from National Geographic).
Does anyone have a cure for the ouchie burnie sensation of swallowing an
entire unsweetened peppermint whole from trying to stifle laughter?
Also, Dr Bahn, I presume you have liability insurance?
Stacia * sta...@xmission.com * The Glitter Ninja
Cthulhu for President 2004! Why settle for a lesser evil?
John D Salt
news:cgl3gv$k2p$1...@gargoyle.oit.duke.edu:
> I remember in Catholic school
[Snips]
> Those damn nuns used to beat the crap out of
> me
[Snips]
> After surviving that I could probably last a
> few rounds with Mike Tyson.
[Snips]
> I decided at an early age that the human race
> can go fuck itself. I'll make my own decisions,
> thankyouverymuch.
So as a result of this education, you are physically robust,
and intellectually independent. Mens sana in corpore sano!
YAY for Catholic education!
All the best,
John.
Dr. Otto Bahn
> So as a result of this education, you are physically robust,
> and intellectually independent. Mens sana in corpore sano!
> YAY for Catholic education!
The juxtaposition of my Archie-Bunker-parents living in
an arch-liberal hamlet full of stinkin' rich, hypocritical
bastards had a lot to do with it. I suppose I should
thank IBM too, since the property taxes on their world
headquarters helped fund the high school that got me
into Duke and 500+ miles away from Armonk, NY.
But yes, the four years of Catholic school were a rather
formative experience for me. It didn't teach me to question
authority -- it taught me to disregard it, while being
careful to not get caught.
--oTTo--
(Don't get me wrong,
I had a very happy childhood --
except when I got caught --
despite all those bastards,
especially my ADD brother
who somehow could concentrate
for twenty goddamn minutes
when he was beating on me.)
Dr. Otto Bahn
> Does anyone have a cure for the ouchie burnie sensation of swallowing an
> entire unsweetened peppermint whole from trying to stifle laughter?
Sex would take your mind off it.
> Also, Dr Bahn, I presume you have liability insurance?
Yes, but I think I'd need to be posting from my car
for it to cover anything on ARK.
--oTTo--
David
[...]
> I'll never forget the day in first grade, fall of 1969
You started first grade in 1969? Maybe we're Siamese Twins!
Anciently,
D.
--
"I don't think that I can take it, cuz it took so long to bake it."
...................................................................
(C) 2004 TheDavid^TM | David, P.O. Box 21403, Louisville, KY 40221
David
> Sex would take your mind off it.
How can anyone think of Stacia and sex in the same sentence?
The best I can manage is thinking about Stacia and being glad
she hasn't yet hunted me down to profess her undying love.
Dr. Otto Bahn
> > Sex would take your mind off it.
>
> How can anyone think of Stacia and sex in the same sentence?
You just did.
--oTTo--