. .
Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
A young man in a public swimming pool was startled when his swimsuit fell off.
He was in the deep end, and couldn't find it, no matter how desperately he looked.
Perplexed, he went to the shallow end and tried to figure out what to do.
As he stood there up to his chest in water and watched the young ladies in their bikinis, he was additionally stressed to realize that he now sported a raging hard on.
Finally, he struck up a course of action. He jumped violently out of the water and shouted loudly, "Mad dog! Mad dog!"
Although most of the others in the pool began screaming in fear, a lusty redhead took a more direct course of action.
She tore off her bikini bottoms, flattened him on the ground and straddled him yelling, "Quick! Let me muzzle that son of a bitch before it gets away!"
Said a dainty young whore named Miss Meggs,
The men like to spread my two legs,
Then slip in between,
If you know what I mean,
And leave me the white of their eggs.
After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test on the National Health Service, a friend of mine decided to have his next test carried out while visiting in San Francisco where the beautiful nurses are rather more gentle and accommodating.
As usual he was asked to strip off, he lay naked on his side on the bed and the nurse began the examination.
"At this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an erection" said the nurse.
"I haven't got an erection" said the man.
"No, but I have" replied the nurse.
After having a very pleasant 69 with his girlfriend, Joe remembered he had a dentist appointment.
He was afraid the Dentist would notice the smell of pussy on his breath, so he brushed his teeth, used dental floss, and also used a whole 4-oz. bottle of Listerine.
As he arrived at the Dentist's office, he also ate a whole packet of strong mint Tic-Tacs.
His turn came up and the Dentist told him to take a seat in the chair.
Feeling confident and relaxed, he opened his mouth wide.
The Dentist got close and asked, "So, you had a 69 before you came here, eh?"
Joe asked, exasperated, "How did you know? Does my breath still smell like pussy?"
The dentist replied, "No... you have a skidmark on your forehead."
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