TREVS NAUGHTYS--JOKES 4 U.

[theol...@snap.net.nz]

WOOOOPPPPEEEEEE ITS JOKE TIME.   ============ Pussy Versus Beer   A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement. Advantage: Beer.   A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot. Advantage: Pussy.   Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton. Advantage: Beer.   Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not. Advantage: Draw.   If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted. Advantage: Pussy   24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come in. Advantage: Pussy.   Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer. Advantage: Pussy.   If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible. Advantage: Beer.   If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get mad. If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad. Advantage: Beer.   6 beers in a night and you better not drive. 6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need. Advantage: Pussy   Buy too much beer and you will get fat. Buy too much pussy and you will get poor. Advantage: Draw   It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game. You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game. Advantage: Pussy   If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer. If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five. Advantage: Pussy   With beer, bigger is better. Advantage: beer.   Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable. Advantage: beer.   If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal. If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic. Advantage: Pussy   Peeling labels off of beers is fun. Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun. Advantage: Pussy.   If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment. Advantage: Draw   If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break. If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are. Advantage: Beer.   If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back. Advantage: beer.   49 Lates jokes are available on jokeslog.com The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it. Advantage: Pussy.   The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it. Advantage: Beer.   The government taxes beer. Advantage: Pussy.   It's a close call, but the numbers never lie. Advantage: Pussy.     ======= ARE U GETTING 2 MANY EMAILS FROM TREVSNAUGHTYS? DID YOU KNOW THAT THE ONES MARKED ''TREVSHARES'' R JUST AN EXTRA? AND WE JUST PASS THEM ON TO YOU... (they r not part of the payment deal-just xtra freebee's) To get those Trevshare emails daily (u could get up to 50 a day) and they will be a mixture of both ADULT & FAMILY emails. YOU WILL NOW HAVE TO SUBSCRIBE TO THEM AND PEOPLE WHO DO NOT WANT THOSE EXTRA FEEBEE'S WILL NOW JUST GET WHAT THEY SUBSCRIBED FOR. JOIN ''TREVSHARES'' SEND EMAIL TO: trevshares...@googlegroups.com   =========================================

[theol...@snap.net.nz]

WOOOOPPPPEEEEEE ITS JOKE TIME.   ============

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?   If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?   Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?   What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men?   I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me, they're cramming for their final exam.   I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?   Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail?   How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?   If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.   No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning.   Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?   If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

[theol...@snap.net.nz]

WOOOOPPPPEEEEEE ITS JOKE TIME.   ============

A watermelon farmer was determined to scare off the local kids who went into his watermelon patch every night to eat their fill. After some thought, he made a sign that read, "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS HAS BEEN INJECTED WITH CYANIDE!" He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons. A week later, the farmer was surveying his field. To his satisfaction, no watermelons were missing, but a sign next to his read, "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"

[theol...@snap.net.nz]

WOOOOPPPPEEEEEE ITS JOKE TIME.   ============

Definitions An adult is a person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.   A cannibal is someone who is fed up with people.   A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.   An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.   A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.   An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane,because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.   A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.   A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there.   A topologist is a someone who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and doughnut.   A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."   A psychologist is someone who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.   A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.   A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.   A committee is a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

[theol...@snap.net.nz]

WOOOOPPPPEEEEEE ITS JOKE TIME.   ============

Relaxing Amdon was enjoying the sun at the beach in America . A lady came and asked him, 'Are you relaxing?' Amdon answered, 'No, I am Amdon' Another guy came and asked him the same question. Amdon answered, 'No! No! Me Amdon!' A third one came and asked him the same question again. Amdon was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another man soaking in the sun. He went up to him and asked, 'Are you Relaxing?' The other man was a lot more educated and answered, 'Yes, I am relaxing.' Amdon slapped him on his face and said,'Stupid, idiot. Everyone is looking for you and you are sitting over here!'

[theol...@snap.net.nz]

WOOOOPPPPEEEEEE ITS JOKE TIME.   ============

Short Ones   You must be the reason for global warming because you are hot.   Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No Hard Feelings."   A successful marriage is based on two things: Neither of which I know.   War is when the government tells you who the bad guy is. Revolution is when you decide for yourself.   No matter. The dead bird does not leave the nest. ---Winston Churchill (on being told that his fly was undone)   Statistics show that married men live longer than single men,but they are more willing to die. ---David S. Goldberg

[theol...@snap.net.nz]

WOOOOPPPPEEEEEE ITS JOKE TIME.   ============

Superb one liners!!! 1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.   2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.   3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.   4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.   5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.   6. Born free, taxed to death.   7. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.   8. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.   9. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.   10. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.   11. I love being a writer... What I can't stand is the paperwork.   12. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed Paper tray and the blinking red light.   13. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to Appreciate it.   14. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?   15. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one? 16. If you can't convince them, confuse them.   17. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.   18. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers   19. The cigarette does the smoking - you are just the sucker.   20. Someday is not a day of the week

[theol...@snap.net.nz]

WOOOOPPPPEEEEEE ITS JOKE TIME.   ============

Love is photogenic; it needs darkness to develop...   A good discussion is like a miniskirt; Short enough to pertain interest and long enough to cover the subject.   Divorce has become so common that my wife and I are staying married just to be different..   A girl is like a road; The more curves she has the more dangerous she is!   Why do women talk twice as much as men? Because they have four lips!   Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hundred miles.   One thing about the speed of light... it gets here too early in the morning.   "Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive." -- George Carlin   Sometimes fame is just a matter of dying at the right time.   What did the number 0 say to the number 8? "Hey, nice belt!"

[theol...@snap.net.nz]

WOOOOPPPPEEEEEE ITS JOKE TIME.   ============

Ebonics Defined:   Demote: What de king put around de castle.   Despise: De persons who work for de CIA.   Detention: What causes de stress.   Dictator: Another name for Richard Spud.   Dilate: When a person lives longer.   Dioxin: What you say before you kill a herd of buffalo-like cattle.   Dreadlocks: the fear of opening the dead-bolt.