TREVS--JOKES 4 U.

[theol...@snap.net.nz]

WOOOOPPPPEEEEEE ITS JOKE TIME.   ========================= 'Real Jokes', 'Threaten with a knife', '|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Sunday, November 29, 1992Robert A. Chase, 45, was charged with threatening an 11-year-old boy with a knife in Madison, Wis. The boy was watching Chase play basketball with another adult when the opponent accused Chase of "traveling" (taking steps without dribbling the ball).To seek an impartial opinion, Chase asked the boy, but the boy agreed that Chase had traveled. Chase then allegedly grabbed the boy, held a knife to his throat, and asked, "Now. Did I travel?"', ================== 'Real Jokes', 'Scent makes you gamble', '|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Monday, December 7, 1992In September, the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation reported the development of an odor that makes gamblers bet more. In a study in Las Vegas, slot machines outfitted to emit the odor racked up 45 percent more business.The neurologist who conducted the study predicted that the scent will become widely used in Las Vegas.', ==================

[theol...@snap.net.nz]

WOOOOPPPPEEEEEE ITS JOKE TIME.   =========================

'Real Jokes', 'Locked in the trunk', '|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Monday, December 7, 1992Joe Albert Ruiz, 19, was arrested in Santa Maria in September. Police said he had broken into a car in the middle of the night and was in the trunk, disconnecting the rear speakers, when the trunk closed and locked him in.Neighbors reported strange noises, and a police officer called to the scene heard Ruiz banging on the trunk and yelling, "Let me out!"', =====================  'Real Jokes', 'Reduce national debt', '|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Monday, December 7, 1992In October, an envelope containing $15,000 in cash was left, anonymously, on a chair at the Detroit IRS office with the instruction to apply it "to reduce the national debt."', =======================

[theol...@snap.net.nz]

WOOOOPPPPEEEEEE ITS JOKE TIME.   =========================

'Real Jokes', 'Normal traffic stop', '|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Sunday, December 13, 1992After police pulled over Kevin Temple, 35, in a routine traffic stop in Bronson, Fla., in October, a police dog sniffing the trunk became agitated. In the trunk and back seat, officers found the following live animals: 48 rattlesnakes, a Gila monster, 45 non-poisonous snakes, 67 scorpions, several tarantulas and small lizards, and a parrot. Temple said they were just pets.', ======================  'Real Jokes', 'Hotel''s loud snorers', '|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Sunday, December 13, 1992In October, the Swallows Hotel in Gateshead, England, offered 11 chronic snorers a free night''s stay so they it could test how well soundproofed the rooms are. The hotel staff tape-recorded the sounds coming from the rooms and promised the loudest snorer a prize.', ======================

[theol...@snap.net.nz]

WOOOOPPPPEEEEEE ITS JOKE TIME.   =========================

'Real Jokes', 'Massive ball of hair', '|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.December 18, 1992Three maintenance workers in Alexandria, Ind., fixed a massive street-flooding problem in October when they pulled a 200-pound hairball from a manhole. Said one of the men, "We thought we had a goat."', ======================== 'Real Jokes', 'Throw away exhibits', '|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.December 18, 1992In October, a cleaning crew accidentally tossed out an exhibit at the Museum of Discovery and Science in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. The exhibit consisted of 14,000 cigarette butts -- the amount a smoker produces in a lifetime -- crammed into coffee cans. Said the artist, in defense of the cleaning crew, "(The butts) didn''t smell very good."', ========================

[theol...@snap.net.nz]

WOOOOPPPPEEEEEE ITS JOKE TIME.   =========================

'Real Jokes', 'Set up hidden cameras', '|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.December 18, 1992Michael J. Schmidt, 29, set up a hidden video camera at his home near Superior, Wis., because he had been burglarized several times and thought he could catch the culprits in the act.The burglars came back and were captured on tape, which Schmidt turned over to the sheriff.Among the items the burglars took from Schmidt''s house was a box containing eight marijuana plants.Schmidt was charged with misdemeanor drug possession.', ======================= 'Real Jokes', 'Tied in an election', '|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.January 12, 1993Richard Kyle won his Arizona House seat in November more easily than he had won the Republican primary in September. He and his primary opponent, John Gaylord, had tied and had agreed to settle things with one hand of five-card stud dealt by the speaker of the Arizona House.Kyle''s pair of sevens put him into the general election.', ======================

[theol...@snap.net.nz]

WOOOOPPPPEEEEEE ITS JOKE TIME.   =========================

'Real Jokes', 'Educational priority', '|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.January 12, 1993Rhett Jacobs, Democratic candidate for the South Carolina House and a man who listed "education" as his top priority, submitted a required campaign disclosure form in October, handwritten, on which he detailed expenses for "filling fee," "campain work" and "litature."', =====================  'Real Jokes', 'Stealing six barrels', '|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.January 12, 1993Long Beach police arrested two small, skinny men in October and charged them with stealing six 45-pound barbells from the Buffum-Downtown YMCA.The men were struggling to keep the barbells in a small cart that kept tipping over because they were not strong enough to steer it.', ====================

[theol...@snap.net.nz]

WOOOOPPPPEEEEEE ITS JOKE TIME.   =========================

'Real Jokes', 'Kidnappers caught him', '|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.January 12, 1993San Francisco police arrested Russell C. Sultan in July and charged him with attempting to extort $23,000 from his mother and girlfriend by claiming to have been kidnapped for ransom.After tracing telephone calls, police, guns drawn, burst into a motel room to find Sultan casually eating fried chicken and watching a 49ers football game.Sultan said the kidnappers had merely left him alone for a while, and exclaimed to the officers, "What took you so long?"', ===================  'Real Jokes', 'Destroying property', '|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.January 12, 1993Raleigh, N.C., judge Don Overby, in several recent cases involving juvenile theft, has forced the convicted kid to go home, retrieve his own most prized possession, bring it back to Overby''s courtroom, and watch while the judge smashes it up.', ===================

[theol...@snap.net.nz]

WOOOOPPPPEEEEEE ITS JOKE TIME.   =========================

'Real Jokes', 'Home burglar survey', '|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.February 1, 1993A survey of home burglars'' work preferences published in Whittle Communications'' Special Report magazine revealed that 32 percent like to browse through family photographs while on the job, 27 percent like to raid the refrigerator, and 7 percent watch TV.Seventy percent of the 191 imprisoned burglars reported they like to limit their jobs to a 20-minute maximum, 17 percent wondered what their victims were like, and 59 percent said a dog in the home was the most effective burglary deterrent.', ======================= 'Real Jokes', 'Sodom village gone', '|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.February 1, 1993The Associated Press reported that the village of Sodom, Conn., disappeared, like its biblical namesake.Though it appears on maps, the AP writer interviewed residents of Sodom Road and the Sodom Corner intersection, both hallmarks of the village of Sodom, and discovered that everyone claims now to live in North Canaan', =========================

[theol...@snap.net.nz]

WOOOOPPPPEEEEEE ITS JOKE TIME.   =========================

'Real Jokes', 'Stealing the camera', '|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.February 1, 1993Raleigh, N.C., police charged Vernon Edsel Brooks, 34, with robbing a Radio Shack in July, despite his foresight in disabling a video surveillance camera by taking the camera with him as he fled.Because he forgot to take the recorder to which the camera was connected, police found a tape containing a full facial shot of Brooks reaching for the camera.', =======================  'Real Jokes', 'Drunk while stealing', '|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.February 1, 1993James Macdonals and William Shoesmith, both 26, were sentenced to five years in prison for bank robbery. According to his lawyer, Macdonald hated his robbery work and had to drink before each job.For what was to be the pair''s last job, he got fall-down drunk and had to be carried by Shoesmith into the bank to pull off the heist. The two were soon captured.', =======================