TREVS--JOKES 4 U.

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WOOOOPPPPEEEEEE ITS JOKE TIME.   ============ 'Ethnical Jokes', 'Researching this insect', '|A prominent Polish scientist conducted very important experiment. He trained a flea to jump upon giving her a verbal command ("Jump!").In a first stage of experiment he removed flea''s leg, told her to jump, and the flea jumped. So he wrote in his scientific notebook: "Upon removing one leg all flea organs function properly."So, he removed the second leg, asked the flea to jump, she obeyed, so he wrote again: "Upon removing the second leg all flea organs function properly."Thereafter he removed all the legs but one, the flea jumped when ordered, so he wrote again: "Upon removing the next leg all flea organs function properly."Then he removed the last leg. Told flea to jump, and nothing happened. He did not want to take a chance, so he repeated the experiment several times, and the leg less flea never jumped. So he wrote the conclusion: "Upon removing the last leg the flea loses sense of hearing"', ===========================  'Ethnical Jokes', 'Evaluating this painting', '|A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British." "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They''re naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French." "No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they''re being told this is paradise. They are Russian."', =================================

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'Ethnical Jokes', 'Learning Chinese terms', '|Crash Course in Speaking ChineseChinese Phrase English TranslationAi Bang Mai Ne: I bumped into the coffee table Chin Tu Fat: You need a face lift Gun Pao Der: An ancient Chinese invention Hu Flung Dung: Which one of you fertilized the field? Hu Yu Hai Ding: We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugitiveJan Ne Ka Sun: A former late night talk show hostKum Hia: Approach meLao Ze Sho: Gilligan''s IslandLao Ze: Not very goodLin Ching: An illegal executionMoon Lan Ding: A great achievement of the American space programNe Ahn: A lighting fixture used in advertising signsShai Gai: A bashful personTai Ne Bae Be: A premature infantTai Ne Po Ne: A small horseTen Ding Ba: Serving drinks to peopleWan Bum Lung: A person with T.B.Yu Mai Te Tan: Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with youWa Shing Kah: Cleaning an automobileWai So Dim: Are you trying to save electricity?Wai U Shao Ting: There is no reason to raise your voice', =======================  'Ethnical Jokes', 'Japan''s quality standard', '|This speaks a lot about the Japanese quality standards and also cultural misunderstandings. They''re still laughing about this at IBM. Apparently the computer giant decided to have some parts manufactured in Japan as a trial project. In the specifications, they set out that they will accept three defective parts per 10,000 . When the delivery came in there was an accompanying letter. "We, Japanese people, had a hard time understanding North American business practices. But the three defective parts per 10,000 have been separately manufactured and have been included in the consignment. Hope this pleases you."', ======================= 'Ethnical Jokes', 'Bragging about Japan', '|There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!"After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!"And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!"The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was US$300.The Japanese exclaimed, "Wah... so expensive!"There upon, the driver yelled back, "Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!"', =========================

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'Ethnical Jokes', 'Finding a Chinese Jew', '|Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. "Sid," asked Al, "are there any Jews in China?""I don''t know," Sid replied. "Why don''t we ask the waiter?"When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews?""I don''t know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No, Chinese Jews.""Are you sure?" Al asked."I will check again, sir," the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen. While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere."When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews.""Are you really sure?" Al asked again."I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews.""Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews, but we have no Chinese Jews."', ==========================  'Ethnical Jokes', 'Diplomat wants water', '|An Arab diplomat visiting the U.S. for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was unused to the salt in American foods (french fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water. Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water, but then came the time when he returned empty-handed. Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my water? demanded the Grand Emir. A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One, stammered the wretched Abdul, white man sit on well.', =========================  'Ethnical Jokes', 'Remaining as enemies', '|Two Arabs boarded a shuttle out of Washington for New York. One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before takeoff a fat, little Israeli guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the Arabs. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I think I''ll go up and get a coke." "No problem," said the Israeli. "I''ll get it for you." While he was gone, the Arab picked up the Israeli''s shoe and spit in it. When the Israeli returned with the coke, the other Arab said, "That looks good. I think I''ll have one too." Again, the Israeli obligingly went to fetch it, and while he is gone the Arab other picked up the other shoe and spit in it. The Israeli returned with the coke, and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to New York. As the plane was landing the Israeli slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. "How long must this go on?" he asked. "This enmity between our peoples..... this hatred... this animosity... this spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?"',

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=========================  'Ethnical Jokes', 'Eating the piece of fruit', '|Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they''d never seen before. Each bought one.The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, "I wouldn''t eat that if I were you." "Why not?" "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."', =========================  'Ethnical Jokes', 'Ant and a grasshopper', '|THE ORIGINAL VERSIONThe ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he''s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.MODERN CANADIAN VERSIONThe ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he''s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come the winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.The CBC shows up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. Canadians are stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?Then a representative of the NAGB (The national association of green bugs) shows up on The National and charges the ant with green bias, and makes the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism. Kermit the Frog appears on the Nature of Things with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when he sings "It''s not easy being green."Jean Chretien makes a special guest appearance on the CBC Evening News to tell a concerned public that they will do everything they can for the grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who benefited unfairly during the Reagan/Thatcher summers. Sheila Copps exclaims in an interview with Peter Mansbridge that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."Finally, the Liberals draft the "Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. John Turner gets his law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal hearing officers that Chretien appointed from a list of single-parent welfare moms who can only hear cases on Thursday''s between 1:30 and 3 PM.The ant loses the case.The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant''s food while the government house he''s in, which just happens to be the ant''s old house, crumbles around him since he doesn''t know how to maintain it.The ant has disappeared in the snow.And on the TV, which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant''s food, they are showing Jean Chretien standing before a wildly applauding group of liberals announcing that a new era of "fairness" has dawned in Canada.', ======================

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=========================  'Ethnical Jokes', 'Newfie goes skydiving', '|A newfie wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor and started lessons. The instructor told the newfie to jump out of the plane and pull his rip cord. The instructor then explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that they would go down together. The newfie understood and was ready. The time came to have the newfie jump from the air plane. The instructor reminded him that he would be right behind him. The newfie proceeded to jump from the plane and after being in the air for a few seconds pulled the rip cord. The instructor followed by jumping from the plane. The instructor pulled his rip cord but the parachute did not open. The instructor, frantically trying to get his parachute open, darted past the newfie. The newfie seeing this yelled, as he undid the straps to his parachute, "So you wanna race, eh?"', ========================== 'Ethnical Jokes', 'Using nails on a house', '|These two newfies are building a house. One of them is putting on the siding. He picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another nail, throws it away. Picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another, throws it away. This goes on for a while, and finally his friend comes over and asks him why he is throwing half of the nails away. He replies, "Those ones were pointed on the wrong end." The buddy gets exasperated and says "You idiot, those nails are for the other side of the house!"', =============================

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========================= 'Mixed Jokes', 'Ugly person illness', '|A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor''s office and said, "Doctor, I''m so depressed and lonely. I don''t have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?" "I''m sure I can." the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."', ========================= 'Mixed Jokes', 'Emotional extremes', '|The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy?""Sadness," said the student.And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma."Elation," said she."And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "how about the opposite of woe?"The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."', ====================== Mixed Jokes', 'Medical terminology', '|Artery -- Study of paintingsBacteria -- Back door of cafeteriaBarium -- What doctors do when treatment failsBowel -- Letter like A.E.I.O.UCaesarean section -- District in RomeCat scan -- Searching for kittyCauterize -- Made eye contact with herColic -- Sheep dogComa -- A punctuation markCongenital -- FriendlyD&C -- Where Washington isDiarrhea -- Journal of daily eventsDilate -- To live longEnema -- Not a friendFester -- QuickerFibula -- A small lieG.I. Series -- Soldiers'' ball gameGrippe -- SuitcaseHangnail -- CoathookImpotent -- Distinguished, well knownIntense pain -- Torture in a teepeeLabor pain -- Got hurt at workMedical staff -- Doctor''s caneMorbid -- Higher offerNitrate -- Cheaper than day rateNode -- Was aware ofOutpatient -- Person who had faintedPelvis -- Cousin of ElvisPost operative -- Letter carrierProtein -- Favoring young peopleRectum -- It almost killed himRecovery room -- Place to do upholsteryRheumatic -- AmorousScar -- Rolled tobacco leafSecretion -- Hiding anythingSeizure -- Roman emperorSerology -- Study of knighthoodTablet -- Small tableTerminal illness -- Sickness at airportTibia -- Country in North AfricaTumor -- An extra pairUrine -- Opposite of you''re outVaricose -- Located nearbyVein -- Conceited', =======================

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WOOOOPPPPEEEEEE ITS JOKE TIME.

=========================  'Mixed Jokes', 'A woman''s dictionary', '|Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you''re right, but he just hasn''t realized it yet. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner." Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them. Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church. Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks. Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms. Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game. Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase. Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store. Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician." Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn''t coming out anytime soon. Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..." Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...! Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide. Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers." Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it. Valentine''s Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card', ========================= 'Mixed Jokes', 'Hick computer terms', '|Log On: Makin'' the wood stove hotter.Log Off: Don''t add no wood.Monitor: Keepin'' an eye on the wood stove.Download: Gettin'' the firewood off the pickup.Mega Hertz: When yer not careful down loadin''.Floppy Disk: Whatcha git from pilin'' too much firewood.Ram: The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood.Hard Drive: Getting'' home in the winter season.Prompt: What you wish the mail was in the winter.Windows: What to shut when it''s below 15 below.Screen: What ''cha need for the black fly season.Byte: That''s what the flies do.Chip: What to munch on.Micro Chip: What''s left in the bottom of the bag.Infrared: Where the left-overs go when Fred''s around.Modem: What ''cha did to the hay fields.Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix''s wife.Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy.Keyboard: Where ya hang your keys.Software: Them plastic eatin'' utensils.Mouse: Whats eats the horses grain.Main Frame: Hold up the barn roof.Port: Fancy wine.Enter: C''mon in.Random Access Memory: You can''t remember whatcha'' paid for that new rifle when your wife asks.', ===============================

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WOOOOPPPPEEEEEE ITS JOKE TIME.

========================= 'Mixed Jokes', 'Woman''s instructions', '|THE WOMAN''S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless. Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany. Don''t imagine you can change a man - unless he''s in diapers. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them. If they can put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all there. Tell him you''re not his type - you have a pulse. Never let your man''s mind wander - its too little to be left out alone. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway. Never marry a man for money. You''ll have to earn every penny. Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable. The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it. If he asks what sort of books you''re interested in, tell him check books. A man''s idea of serious commitment is usually, "Oh all right, I''ll stay the night". Women sleep with men who, if they were women, they wouldn''t even have bothered to have lunch with. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his. If he asks you if you if you''re faking it tell him no, you''re just practicing. When he asks you if he''s your first tell him, "You may be, you look familiar."', -----------------------------  'Mixed Jokes', 'Guide for all women', '|A WOMAN''S GUIDE TO WHAT A MAN IS REALLY SAYING: I''M HUNGRY.I''m hungry. I''M SLEEPY.I''m sleepy. I''M TIRED.I''m tired. I''VE GOTTA GO.Get out of the way and stay away until it clears. WHAT''S WRONG?I don''t see why you''re making such a big deal out of this. WHAT''S WRONG?What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.I liked it better before. YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.$50 and it doesn''t look that much different! YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.For $50 they should have GIVEN YOU hair! LET''S TALK, HONEY.I''m trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person, and maybe then you''d like to have sex with me. WILL YOU MARRY ME?I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys. WILL YOU MARRY ME?I might as well get tax benefits for going through these talks.', ==========================

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WOOOOPPPPEEEEEE ITS JOKE TIME.

========================= 'Mixed Jokes', 'The guide for all men', '|WOMEN S LANGUAGE TRANSLATEDYes = NoNo = YesMaybe = NoI m sorry. = You ll be sorry.We need... = I wantIt s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want... = You ll pay for this later. We need to talk... = I need to complain Sure...go ahead = I don t want you to.I m not upset = Of course I m upset, you moron! You re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. You re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. I want new curtains = ...and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? = I m going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I did something today you re really not going to like.I ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.Am I fat? = Tell me I m beautiful.You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you re dead.Was that the baby? = Why don t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.I''m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important. In response to What s wrong?:The same old thing = NothingNothing = EverythingNothing, really = It s just that you re such an idiot!', ============================= 'Mixed Jokes', 'A man''s translations', '|These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say..."IT''S A GUY THING"Translated:* "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.""CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"Translated:* "Why isn''t it already on the table?""UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"Translated:* Absolutely nothing. It''s a conditioned response."IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"Translated:* "I have no idea how it works.""TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU''RE WORKING TOO HARD."Translated:* "I can''t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.""THAT''S INTERESTING, DEAR."Translated:* "Are you still talking?""YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."Translated:* "I remember the theme song to ''F Troop,'' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every carI''ve ever owned... but I forgot your birthday.""OH, DON''T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT''S NO BIG DEAL."Translated:* "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I''m hurt.""HEY, I''VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I''M DOING."Translated:* "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.""I CAN''T FIND IT."Translated:* "It didn''t fall into my outstretched hands, so I''m completely clueless.""WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"Translated:* "What did you catch me at?""I''M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."Translated:* "No one will ever see us alive again.""WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."Translated:* "I make the messes; she cleans them up."', ========================

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=========================  'Mixed Jokes', 'Woman''s translations', '|The wife says: You wantThe wife means: You wantThe wife says: We needThe wife means: I wantThe wife says: It''s your decisionThe wife means: The correct decision should be obviousThe wife says: Do what you wantThe wife means: You''ll pay for this laterThe wife says: We need to talkThe wife means: I need to complainThe wife says: Sure... go aheadThe wife means: I don''t want you toThe wife says: I''n not upsetThe wife means: Of course I''m upset you moronThe wife says: You''re ... so manlyThe wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lotThe wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lightsThe wife means: I have flabby thighs.The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenientThe wife means: I want a new house.The wife says: I want new curtains.The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!The wife says: I need wedding shoes.The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.The wife says: Hang the picture thereThe wife means: No, I mean hang it there!The wife says: I heard a noiseThe wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.The wife says: Do you love me?The wife means: I''m going to ask for something expensive.The wife says: How much do you love me?The wife means: I did something today you''re not going to like.The wife says: I''ll be ready in a minute.The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.The wife says: Am I fat?The wife means: Tell me I''m beautiful.The wife says: You have to learn to communicate.The wife means: Just agree with me.The wife says: Are you listening to me?The wife means: [Too late, your doomed.]The wife says: YesThe wife means: NoThe wife says: NoThe wife means: NoThe wife says: MaybeThe wife means: NoThe wife says: I''m sorryThe wife means: You''ll be sorryThe wife says: Do you like this recipe?The wife means: You better get used to itThe wife says: All we''re going to buy is a soap dishThe wife means: I''m coming back with enough to fill this place.The wife says: Was that the baby?The wife means: Get out of bed and walk himThe wife says: I''m not yelling!The wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important!In answer to the question "What''s wrong?"The wife says: The same old thing.The wife means: Nothing.The wife says: Nothing.The wife means: Everything.The wife says: Nothing, really.The wife means: It''s just that you''re an idiot.The wife says: I don''t want to talk about it.The wife means: I''m still building up steam.', ======================== 'Mixed Jokes', 'Mother''s dictionary', '|Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.Defense: What you''d better have around de yard if you''re going to let the children play outside.Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disasterFeedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn''t appreciate the strained carrots.Full name: What you call your child when you''re mad at him.Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they''re sure you''re not raising them right.Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.Look out: What it''s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.Preprared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.Sterilize: What you do to your first baby''s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby''s pacifier by blowing on it.Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can''t quite reach anything.Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.Two-minute warning: When the baby''s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.Verbal: Able to whine in wordsWhodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."', =========================